


Beneath a Flag That's Not Our Own

by GleeCastOST



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Intrigue?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 100,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleeCastOST/pseuds/GleeCastOST
Summary: In 1967, two women meet at a Parisian bar, under mysterious circumstances. Of course, they might not be who they pretend to, since there's always more to the story.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 229
Kudos: 384





	1. The Woman at the Bar

**Author's Note:**

> im pretty sure this is HOT GARBAGE but idk the idea kinda stuck in my brain so here we are

Ava stepped tenderly out of the shower and into the steam filled bathroom. With a grin, she wiped away the condensation in the mirror, revealing her towel-clad self. She got ready efficiently, with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. Gentle music filled the hotel room, an upbeat pop standard of the era. 

After drying and styling her hair, Ava slid into a beautiful red dress she’d bought earlier that day. Yes, she was in Paris for work, but that wouldn’t stop her from shopping. Just a little bit, at least. She strapped on a pair of matching heels of modest height, just in case. One quick spritz of expensive perfume later, and Ava strode down the hall towards the elevator. 

The hotel lobby was nothing short of lavish. Busy, patterned carpet coated the bar and seating area, while large marble tiles marked the entranceway and check-in desk. High ceilings boasted an odd array of heavy, circular mirrors with built-in lighting. Not enough lighting, though, as the room was dim. Thick even, when compounded with the cigarette smoke that hung in the air. 

Cutting through the swaths of Parisian men smoking and talking in the lobby, Ava made a beeline for the bar. With a practiced walk, she ignored their catcalls and propositions. Her French wasn’t great, but she got the gist of their comments from context. Initially, she had planned on sitting alone, but a dark haired woman at the edge of the bar caught her attention.

"Attendez-vous quelqu'un?” Ava asked with a raised eyebrow as she gestured to the chair beside the dark haired woman. Even her outfit was striking, fashionable. A pair of, presumably, men’s trousers hung loosely around her waist, secured with a leather belt. Tucked into them, a perfectly ironed linen shirt. A fancy statement coat hung over the back of the chair. 

“I speak English.” The woman told Ava with the tiniest of smiles. “But no, I’m not. You may join me.” 

“Is my accent that horrible?” Ava joked as she sat beside the woman. 

“It’s certainly not great.” She replied, while gently swirling the ice in her whisky. 

“I’m Ruth, by the way.” Ava extended a hand.

“Judith.” The woman replied, shaking Ava’s hand with a surprisingly firm grip. “What are you doing here in Paris?”

“I’m here for -” The bartender interrupted them and asked Ava if she’d like a drink, which she ordered in passable French. “For work.” She completed her sentence with a smile. “Nothing exciting, I’m afraid. You?” 

“The same.” Judith answered quietly. 

“Where in England are you from?” Ava found herself innately curious about the woman that sat beside her - a feeling she rarely experienced.

“Just outside of London proper.” She replied just as Ava’s drink was brought over.

“Merci.” Ava said to the bartender, before turning her attention back to Judith. “And what’s London like?”

“Have you never been?” Judith couldn’t quite place why, but Ruth seemed like a well-travelled woman. 

“I have, but I’m curious about what you think.”

“Strange. Most people rarely are.” 

“I’m not most people.” Ava replied with a smirk. “Though the men sitting over there seem to be interested in  _ something  _ about you.” She added with a wink. 

“I’m not sure that’s true. One of them told me to take down my hair, lest I be mistaken for a man.” Judith reported with thinly veiled resentment. 

“That’s a shame, I like your hair and your outfit.” Ava whispered. “Though I am admittedly interested in what it looks like down.” After a moment’s hesitation Judith unpinned her low bun and shook out her hair, which hung in loose waves. Unable to contain herself, Ava reached out and tucked a single piece behind Judith’s ear. “Magnifique.” She whispered, before leaning back respectfully. 

“Careful, you might make them jealous.” Judith nodded towards them, though Ava didn’t miss the blush that crept across her cheeks. 

“I can think of bigger tragedies.” Ava retorted with a grin.

“As can I.” Judith retorted slyly. “Where in the states are you from?” 

“I grew up in Washington, but I live in Virginia now.” Ava’s answer was simple and honest, though it left a lot unsaid. 

“I’ve been to Virginia actually, on business.” Judith replied, causing Ava to raise an eyebrow. Surely it couldn’t be for the same reason she worked there, right?” 

“Really?”

“Yes, though I don’t have anything interesting to report. I spent more time inside than out.” 

“That’s always how it is.” Ava chuckled. “Have you gotten out since you’ve been in Paris?” 

“A bit.” Judith shrugged. “I only got in this morning, but I visited a few of my favourite spots in the city. You?” 

“The same story, actually.” Their answers seemed to be strangely parallel, but exceedingly vague. 

“Well…” Judith finished her drink and stood. “It was nice meeting you, Ruth.” 

“You too.” Ava felt an inexplicable sadness about Judith’s departure. 

“Thanks for giving me some much needed company.” Judith pulled her coat from the chair and hung it over one shoulder. “And for the record, I like your outfit too.” She departed towards the elevator without another word and without turning around. Judith kept her cool, though she was distracted by Ruth’s beauty. With the work she had to do tomorrow, it was best to keep a level head. 

Judith re-entered her room a moment later, only to be greeted by a ringing phone. “Hello?” She answered, unsure if it was the hotel, or someone else entirely. 

“Designation, please.” She recognised Shannon’s voice immediately. 

“490729.” 

“Beatrice, glad to hear you’ve made it to Paris. I called several times and you never answered, I was beginning to get worried.” 

“Sorry, I was running some errands in the city, then I stopped downstairs for a drink.” Beatrice left out any details about the beautiful woman that kept her there longer than intended. 

“Do you need any supplies before tomorrow? It’s a big day, we need to ensure we secure the target.” Shannon sounded stressed, though it was obvious why. 

“No.” Beatrice had three handguns hidden around her room, though she’d probably only need one. “When will I be getting my briefing?” 

“It should be arriving soon.” The sound of shuffling papers was barely audible on Beatrice’s end of the line. “Alright, I just double checked. Before the end of the night.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.” Beatrice replied, though in honesty, her thoughts were still half on the woman from the bar. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t entirely focus on work.

“Good luck. Be safe.” Shannon told her, before hanging up.

With a sigh, Beatrice sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her shoes. It had been a long day. Tomorrow would only be longer. Yet, she already knew sleep would be evasive. Instead, she routinely changed into pajamas and triple checked each pistol. They were in perfect condition. Of course, she already knew that, since she had checked them all only a few hours prior. It was a bit of an obsessive habit she fell back on when she had thoughts that refused to be silenced.

Just as Beatrice began to feel like she could sleep, a thin folder slid beneath the door. She lifted it gently, revealing the briefing she was expecting. Beatrice scanned over the pertinent information a dozen times, committing the details to memory. Following that, she carried the file, along with her wastebasket, onto the balcony. With a smooth motion, she lit a match and burned the file inside the metal bin. She shivered in the cold night air, but it was oddly satisfying to watch it burn. When it was reduced to ashes, Beatrice scattered them to the wind. It was going to be a long night, she feared. 

The telephone beside Ava’s bed rang again, the loud noise blaring into Ava’s skull. “Hello?” She muttered into the receiver, unable to ignore the noise any longer.

“You ordered a wake-up call, ma’am.” The front desk attendant replied. 

“That I did…” Ava whispered, before hanging up. With a miserable groan, she dragged herself out of bed and peeked out of the curtains. It was rainy. 

“What a delightful day.” Ava mumbled as she padded into the bathroom. Groggily, she brushed her teeth and went through all the motions of getting ready. Once her hair was pulled back into a respectable braid and she was dressed, Ava pulled a pistol from underneath the counter and hid it within her jacket. She likely wouldn’t need it, but better safe than sorry. 

A few minutes later, Ava crossed through the hotel lobby once more, secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of Beatrice on the way. Today, she was unlucky. With a grimace, Ava headed out into the windy rain and walked down the sidewalk. Several blocks down from the hotel was a small cafe, which Ava gratefully ducked into. At a corner table was the exact woman she had been expecting to see. 

“Hi.” Ava greeted Camila warmly as she sat across from her. 

“You’re late.” Camila told her, causing Ava to freeze in guilt. “I’m just messing with you, it’s alright.” She laughed.

“ _ God,  _ don’t do that.” Ava mumbled, though she managed a laugh as well. “What’s happening tonight?” 

“Hold that thought.” Camila cautioned as the waitress approached.

“Que puis-je obtenir pour vous mesdames?” She asked politely.

“Deux cafés au lait, s'il vous plaît.” Camila answered before Ava could speak. 

“Hey, I could have ordered for myself.” Ava grumbled once the waitress retreated back to the counter. 

“Your French is dreadful, I couldn’t sit through it.” 

“Honestly, fair.” Ava conceded. 

“Here’s the information you need.” Camila slid a small stack of papers across the table and Ava quickly shoved them into her bag. “You know the drill.”

“I do indeed.” 

“And you’ve brushed up on your Russian?” 

“Da, ya praktikovalsya.”

“Oh, you’ve been practicing?” Camila seemed impressed. “It’s definitely better than your French, but I’d try to speak as little as possible.” 

“I know, I know.” Ava shrugged.

“It wouldn’t kill you to take this a little bit more seriously, you know. People get killed doing this type of work - not infrequently, I might add. I only go over everything because I care about your safety.” 

The waitress returned with their coffees, which both women gratefully accepted. It had been an early start. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava took a sip of her coffee, then continued. “I will try to operate with more… Seriousness. Although personally, I think my attitude gives my work a little bit of…” She did an odd hand gesture. “Flare.” 

“That’s exactly what we  _ don’t  _ want!” 

That night, Ava breezed into the Russian embassy without any hassle. She stepped into the warm building, grateful to be out of the cold, even if she was in a staggering amount of danger. There were dozens of dignitaries and other key members of society floating about, socialising as waiters weaved between them with drinks and appetisers. For the tiniest moment, Ava thought she saw Judith in a back corner, but it must have just been a trick of the light. 

Gracefully, Ava worked her way towards the north end of the main hall, chatting as needed. On her way in, Ava had paid off a bellboy to drop a tray of hors d'oeuvres at exactly  _ 8.25pm.  _ A quick glance at the clock in the front hall confirmed she only had a minute left to wait. Just as Ava reached the door, a beautiful metallic clatter rang through the cavernous hall, drawing everyone’s attention. She used the moment of distraction to slip through to the other side. 

Unburdened by the presence of others, Ava took off at a run, aware that her time could be limited. Earlier, in her file, Camila had made special note of the building’s floor plan. This was helpful, since Ava didn’t have time to search every office. After a flight of stairs and a run down an empty hallway, she found the right office. Locked. With a grumpy sigh, she pulled out her hairpin and picked the lock. Except, when she swung open the heavy oak door, there was someone already going through the files. 

“Judith?”


	2. Hairpin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice work as a team - perhaps better than either of them expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, you guys didnt hate the garbage, so here's EVEN MORE OF IT!

“Who do you work for?” Beatrice asked dangerously as she drew her weapon and pointed it at Ava. With surprising calm, Ava held up her hands, though she closed and locked the door first. 

“Who do  _ you  _ work for?” Ava countered, though part of her was undeniably happy to see the beautiful woman once again. Beatrice only stared, refusing to answer the question. After a few tense moments, Ava acquiesced, since she didn’t have the speed or foresight to pull out her own weapon. “The Americans. CIA.” 

“Oh.” Beatrice lowered her gun and holstered it beneath the black dress she had on. Despite the high stress situation, Ava blushed slightly when Beatrice lifted her hemline to put the weapon away.

“Are you going to answer my question, then?” Ava crossed the room towards a bank of filing cabinets. “Since you haven’t shot me, I’m going to assume you’re an ally.”

“MI6.” Beatrice answered quietly. “What are you here for?”

“I could ask you the same question.” Ava retorted as she flipped through files. There was an unmistakable tension in the air between them, though neither woman was sure if it was a rivalry or something else.

“According to our sources, there is supposed to be a transfer of Soviet state secrets between high ranking officials tonight.” Beatrice set one file aside and began sorting through another. “That’s what I’m here to intercept.”

“Well, this is awkward.” Ava almost laughed, but remembered what Camila had said about being more serious. “I’m here for the same reason.” 

“Of course. I almost suspected it when we were…” She trailed off, compelled by the paper in her hand. “This is it.” Beatrice looked up at Ava. “I win.” 

“I didn’t realise it was a -” Ava was interrupted by a shout in the hallway and the sound of the door unlocking. The pair exchanged a worried look, before preparing to fight. 

Two burly guards burst into the office a moment later. Ava threw an elbow into the first man’s nose and forced him aside before he could regain his footing. In the confusion, the second guard didn’t notice Beatrice behind the desk, an opening that she took advantage of by throwing a letter opener through his eye. Not wasting a moment, she slid across the desk as the man dropped to his knees. With a swift punch, she knocked him out, leaving him bleeding on the floor. 

While not as graceful as Beatrice, Ava dispatched the other guard, using her hairpin and fists as a silent weapon. A moment later, he was unceremoniously draped over a cabinet. She wiped the blood on his jacket and fixed her hair with a smile. 

“Are you planning on sharing your discovery, or…” Ava asked as they hurried into the hallway. Both women were slightly out of breath, but otherwise gave no indication of having just been in a fight. 

“You fight well.” Beatrice observed quietly as they worked their way through the building. It wouldn’t be long before those men either woke up or were discovered. 

“Thanks, but that doesn’t answer my question.” Oddly enough, Ava seemed oblivious to the sense of urgency, though she kept pace with Beatrice regardless. “Am I going to have to follow you all the way back to London?”

  
Beatrice stopped, despite her instincts screaming at her to run. She faced Ava, shifting her feet slightly, should the American give her a reason to attack. Ava didn’t miss this subtle change, however, and adjusted her own posture accordingly. It was almost imperceptible, but the tension between them flared again. 

“If we can get out of this building without being discovered, you can do whatever you please, alright?” Beatrice whispered sharply, before turning down another corridor. 

“Sounds like a deal.” Ava grinned, choosing to ignore Beatrice’s frustration. She walked faster and turned, only to come face to face with a set of patrolling guards. “Not this way.” She muttered, taking Beatrice’s hand and sprinting back the way they came. 

It was a dead end. Beatrice realised first. In terms of security, it was brilliant, because it left infiltrating parties with no room for escape. Four guards had now congregated in the hall and were unstrapping the weapons from their belts.

“Well, it’s a bit unconventional…” Ava breathed, as she threw a decorative plant through a window. With a graceful dive, she threw herself out it, sliding across the slanted, wet roof. 

“Bloody Americans…” Beatrice muttered, before doing the same. Sure, it was unorthodox, but there wasn’t any other option. Right?

After a short drop, Ava and Beatrice found themselves on a balcony one floor below. The lights inside were dark, but they could hear the party below them, and the guards above. Ava’s daunting move had bought them a few minutes, maybe, but nothing more.

“You look nice tonight.” Ava mumbled as she picked the lock on the balcony door. Beatrice raised an eyebrow, unsure if she should be flattered or frustrated. 

“Your superiors must find you…  _ Frustrating. _ ” 

“You have no idea.” Ava grinned as the door popped open. She carefully strode through the dark room, careful not to make any noise. Beatrice followed closely behind. At the far end of the room, there was a dimly lit fire escape. They both released a breath on the landing, feeling as though they were in the clear. Ava pried open the fire door, only to be grabbed by a guard waiting on the other end. 

“Nayti tebya!” He exclaimed as he pulled Ava into a ferocious headlock. Beatrice, thankfully, managed to escape his notice for a few seconds. 

“Pokhozhe... Na eto…” Ava choked from within his grasp, at least, until Beatrice fired two silenced rounds into the man’s chest. He sunk to the rainy cobblestones in a moment, while Ava stayed bent over to catch her breath. This time, Beatrice took Ava’s hand and led her down the street. 

“You speak Russian?” Beatrice asked as they walked, careful to speak quietly and blend into the Parisian crowds. To any onlooker, they appeared as two friends out for a night on the town. 

“I try my best. Don’t you?” Ava thought it was standard practice for most people in their line of work. 

“Eto trebuyetsya.” Beatrice replied, with a much more consistent intonation than Ava. 

“Well, no need to show off…” Ava grumbled lightheartedly, still painfully aware that they were walking hand in hand. 

“Are you really going to follow me back to London?” She couldn’t help but ask, though Beatrice wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about the idea.

“Unless you’re willing to hand over the documents you have hidden in the lining of your coat, I see no better idea. My superiors wouldn’t accept a handwritten copy of my notes… It’s not really the sort of thing you’re meant to copy.” 

“That’s true.”

“So, I have no choice to but to follow a beautiful woman to London.” Ava paused to chuckle as the pair entered the lobby of the hotel. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“Do I want to know?” Beatrice questioned, preferring to keep the levity in the conversation, lest she expose her growing fascination with the woman she’d met the night prior. 

“Perhaps not.” Ava smiled as the elevator doors closed. “What time are you leaving?” 

“Nine. Tomorrow.” 

“Should I trust you not to leave without me?” Ava raised an eyebrow while the elevator rose around them. 

“Should I trust you to not be secretly working with the Soviets and preparing to double cross me at any second?” Beatrice retorted, earning a hearty stare from Ava. For a moment, Beatrice was almost scared she was right, given the intensity with which Ava watched her. Of course, the tension dissolved a moment later when Ava began to laugh. 

“This is my floor.” Ava stepped off the elevator when the doors opened. The hallway was empty. Beatrice held a hand on the mechanism to keep the elevator from closing. “I promise I’m not going to double cross you.” 

“I’ll see you in the morning, then, Ruth.” 

“Actually, it’s…” The elevator doors had closed before Ava finished her sentence. 

Ava found Camila in her room, just as they had arranged earlier that morning. “How was your night?” Camila asked once Ava closed the door. 

“So… Funny story…” Ava began nervously as she sat on the bed and pulled off her shoes. 

“Ava.” 

“Last night, I had a conversation with a stunning woman who I met at the bar downstairs. I mean, well-dressed, beautiful, the whole -”

“How is this relevant?” Camila interrupted, forcing Ava to think about Beatrice’s comment earlier. 

“I’m getting there!” Ava replied, slipping out of her dress and into pajamas. She and Camila had grown up together; she thought nothing of changing in front of her. “Anyways, I just got a… Feeling from her, a suspicion. I can’t describe it more than that, so don’t ask.” Ava continued, earning a hearty eye roll from Camila. “Imagine my surprise when I found her in the very office I was supposed to be stealing secrets from.” 

Camila’s hand flew to cover her mouth. “You’re joking.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Is she an ally or does she work for the Russians?” 

“MI6. Allegedly, at least.” Ava replied.

“Alright…” The covert agencies didn’t always maintain a good working relationship, even if they shared a common enemy. “What of the documents?” 

“Therein lies our second issue.” 

“Oh, no.” Camila groaned. 

“I need you to cancel my flight tomorrow. I need to make a detour to London for a series of meetings. Then, I’ll fly back on my own and meet you in Virginia in a few day’s time.” Ava explained, barely hiding how oddly excited she was at the prospect travelling with Beatrice. 

“I don’t know if I like this…” To be fair, Camila had every right to be skeptical. These were dangerous times. 

“Do you see a better option?” Ava laid languidly across the bed. “In some ways, it makes sense. Incredibly sensitive documentation gets double the protection on it’s journey to London, plus I ensure we get the data. Maybe it will foster a better relationship between the agencies, too?” 

“That’s awfully optimistic.” Camila could see Ava’s point though and had to admit that there was some sense there. “Alright. When will you be back? I’ll need to file the paperwork when I get back.”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Ava smiled, thankful that Camila was at least willing to consider it. If Mary were still her boss, that might not be the case. “I can call once I get there?” 

“That will have to do.” 

Camila rose from her chair and gave Ava a massive hug. “Seriously, be safe, okay?” She told Ava, for what seemed like the hundredth time, before heading for the door. 

“You too. You’re one of my best friends and you’re in almost as dangerous a job as I am.” 

“That’s fair.” Camila nodded. “Okay. Love you, be safe, and I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you too.” Ava called before Camila left the room. 

Meanwhile, Beatrice laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. She felt confused. It wasn’t an emotion she had a particularly strong relationship with - rather, it was something she barely felt. Tonight had been successful, even if it was less smooth an operation than she preferred. For all of Ava’s glib, she couldn’t deny that the woman was skilled. Not only skilled, but her beauty was difficult to ignore. Had Beatrice been a less focused woman, it might have become an issue. 

She turned onto her side, restless. Was this a good idea? There were a dozen arguments she could make that said yes, but a dozen more that stated the opposite. Beatrice exhaled sharply, frustrated. Try as she might, she couldn’t deny her growing curiosity to Ava. Stated blunty, Beatrice felt overwhelmed by the attraction that she refused to acknowledge. 

Eventually, Beatrice must have found sleep, because she awoke to a hazy morning. Low clouds hung over the city, though there was finally a break in the rain. With a yawn, she rose, with little to do. She had already packed the night prior, leaving only today’s outfit (and a handgun) folded neatly atop the dresser. 

Quickly, Beatrice pulled on her clothes, an outfit not dissimilar to the one she’d worn the night she met Ava. Of course, if questioned, she would defend this as a coincidence. It was not. Her fingers shook slightly as she buttoned up her shirt. Beatrice sighed. She hadn’t been nervous in a long time, it was a telling emotion. Last night, she’d infiltrated a secure embassy and stolen secrets that could get her killed. Today, she was nervous about a train ride.

Surprisingly, Ava beat her to the lobby. She stood with her back towards the elevators, looking out of the building’s tall windows at the busy street outside. Beatrice immediately recognised the hairpin that held back Ava’s loose waves - the sight of it made her smile. Which was an oddity in itself, since Ava was partial to using the accessory to not only pick locks, but also as a weapon.

She paused for a moment, watching Ava carefully. Beatrice could have snuck out then, but some part of her felt compelled to keep her promise. Only then, did she realise that Ava was watching her in the window’s reflection. 

“Good morning.” Ava smiled as she turned to greet Beatrice. 

“Are you ready?” Beatrice skipped the morning pleasantries, keen to get down to business. Perhaps, this strategy would prevent Ava’s rampant compliments and help keep Beatrice focused.

“Yes.” Ava answered simply, seemingly unbothered by Beatrice’s sharpness. “I had to make some arrangements with my employer, but I am ready to make the  _ exciting  _ journey north.” 

“I don’t know if I would call it that…” Beatrice muttered as she walked outside, followed closely by Ava. 

“You look nice again today.” Ava whispered as they continued towards the train station. 

“As do you.” Despite every part of her body screaming for her to stop talking, Beatrice couldn’t  _ not  _ acknowledge Ava’s beauty. Not to mention her surprisingly chic fashion sense. 

“Oh, you make me blush.” Ava spoke as though she was joking, but Beatrice wasn’t blind to the colour in her cheeks. 

“This is us.” Beatrice mumbled as they arrived in front of the train station. It was unwise to talk about work in public. Since they knew virtually nothing of one another, they had very little to discuss. Perhaps over the hours of their train ride, this could change. 

“So, Judith…” Ava began as she relaxed into the booth, seated across from Beatrice in the train car. 

“Actually…” Beatrice stood and closed the sliding door that separated the compartment from the hallway. “That’s not my name.” 

“I figured as much… I’m Ava.” Ava introduced herself again, extended a formal hand to shake. 

“Beatrice.” She said, shaking Ava’s hand with a firm grip. 

“Why pick Judith?” Ava was admittedly curious - it was a question she often asked. Aliases are rarely meaningless. 

“That’s… A bit of a long story.” Beatrice watched as the city passed through the window while the train slowly picked up speed. “A personal story.” 

“Sorry…” Ava showed a surprising amount of remorse. “I didn’t know.” 

“That’s alright.” Beatrice could barely admit to herself that, had Ava pressed her, she would have explained further. Something about the woman that sat across from her made Beatrice want to reveal all her secrets. 

They sat in silence after that, at least for the next hour. Eventually, Ava spoke up again. 

“I didn’t have time for breakfast. Would you like to accompany me to the dining car?” She asked with oddly formal language, though the crooked grin gave away her humour.

“Sure.” Beatrice barely considered the question before agreeing. She could deny it with every breath, but she wanted to spend time with Ava. Plus, she was also hungry. 

The first class dining car was all but deserted, save for the staff. Oak tables were bolted to the carpeted floor and leather chairs clustered around them. Ava led Beatrice towards a smaller table, with two chairs that faced one another. By this point, they were long out of the city, and the countryside sped past the window. 

“What can I get for you two ladies?” The waiter asked, in English this time.

“Coffee for me, please.” Ava answered first. “With cream.” 

“And for you?” He looked at Beatrice.

“English breakfast tea, please and thank you.” 

“I’ll have that out for you shortly.” He responded politely and headed back to his station. 

Ava watched the autumn scenery fly by, with the tiniest of smiles across her face. Meanwhile Beatrice watched her, instead of the scenery. It was curious to her, the way Ava seemed to always be enjoying herself. Even the night prior, when they were in danger, Ava was almost genuinely happy. Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder if there was a story behind that - though it was clearly too soon in their  _ whatever  _ to ask. 

“You can stay with me, if you want.” Beatrice whispered after a few minutes. 

“Hmm?” Ava turned back towards her, as if her thoughts had been a thousand miles away. Or, perhaps this was just Beatrice being hopeful, Ava was just as flustered as she was. 

“In London. Since you’ll need to come into work with me daily as part of our security protocol, it’s easier if you just stay with me. I have an extra room, anyhow.” Beatrice spoke too quickly, a rarity in itself. 

“Oh.” Ava paused for a moment, her expression entirely unreadable. “Thank you, that would be nice.” She added, though Beatrice noticed the tiniest tremble in her voice. Maybe she was reading into this too much…

“Here you are!” The waiter returned with their drinks, breaking the awkward tension that had enveloped them. 

“Thank you.” Ava and Beatrice echoed simultaneously. 

“What are a pair of beauties doing in the city? Without your husbands no less?” He asked, with the genuine belief he was making polite conversation. Ava had to squeeze her leg to keep from laughing. 

“We were there for work.” Beatrice answered. Granted, it was rare for women to work and travel without the accompaniment of a man. “In the fashion industry, as you can see.” She gestured to their outfits with a confidence that made Ava blush. 

“Oh, of course!” He nodded and grinned. “Can I get you anything to eat? We still have a few hours left before we hit the Channel.” For the first time since they’d entered the dining cart, Ava gave the menu a quick glance, while Beatrice ordered a light breakfast of traditional French pastry and fruit. Unable to decide, especially with the newfound nerves that seemed to congregate in her stomach, she ended up ordering the same. 

“Being a woman makes this job easier.” Ava mentioned once the waiter was out of earshot. 

“It’s perhaps one of the few things in life that is to our advantage.” Beatrice understood immediately where Ava was coming from. Both of them had gotten away with operations that would have killed most men six ways from Sunday. But in the world of international espionage, it was a great advantage to be underestimated.


	3. Unconventional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice make their way to London, although the journey isn't without adversity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more garbage for all 3 people who are reading this

With a curious gaze, Ava watched Beatrice daintily eat her breakfast. “Can I help you?” Beatrice muttered, with the tiniest of smirks playing across her lips.

“Sorry…” Ava looked back out the window. It was undeniable now, she was absolutely taken with Beatrice. Completely distracted. 

“We obviously can’t talk about work here.” Beatrice was nervous. Or excited? She couldn’t quite tell. “Would you prefer to spend the rest of the ride to Calais in silence?” 

“Silence would be quite awkward, don’t you think?” Ava raised an eyebrow. Was Beatrice as flustered as she was? 

“You say that as though conversation will be any better.” 

“I’m pretty good at conversation.” Ava grinned, in a charming way that made Beatrice’s cheeks burn. “Would you prefer to speak  _ en français _ ?”

Beatrice watched Ava for a moment, unsure if it was a tense challenge between rivals, or something else entirely. “You’re not like most people in this business.” She said, finally, though she left her true sentiment unsaid. Ava wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met. 

“Is it because I’m fun?” Ava teased as she ate.

“Fun might not be the right word…” 

“Hey! Rude!” Ava protested, though she was anything but mad. “I’m definitely more fun than you!” 

“You don’t even know me.” Beatrice leaned back in her chair slightly. Her banter with Ava was clearly superficial, but her heart beat excitedly all the same.

“You could tell me something about yourself?” 

“I hate London.” Beatrice muttered after a few seconds of hesitation.

“Really?” Ava seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. “Why?” 

“It’s cold. Grey. The people are often unkind and…” She trailed off, realising she had never spoken the next part aloud. “It holds a lot of bad memories for me.” 

“Ah. That’s understandable.” Ava whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of the train’s massive engine. “No one gets into this line of work without their own fair share of emotional baggage.” 

“Is that so?” Beatrice couldn’t imagine Ava being weighed down with anything; she seemed so free.

“I’m more than a dashing set of outfits and a killer sense of humour.” Ava replied, watching Beatrice’s face closely for a reaction. “I’m also a great dancer.” 

“That, I’ll have to see.” 

“Well, maybe you’ll take me out on the town once we reach the big smoke.” Ava suggested. Her apparent subtext gave Beatrice goosebumps. 

Several minutes later, they found themselves back in the relative privacy of their cabin. Ava had ordered another tea and coffee, which were now balanced precariously on the deep windowsill, dancing with the movement of the train. 

“How long have you been working?” Beatrice asked, opting to stay vague, just in case.

“A few years…” Ava answered carefully. It had been drilled into both women during training to never,  _ ever  _ trust anyone. Yet, they both seemed to be breaking the rules. “You?”

“The same.” Beatrice stood, carefully taking off her overcoat and hanging it on the door. Being in such a confined space alone was making her warm. Being in such a confined space with Ava… That just complicated matters. 

“How did you get into this line of work?”

“I was recruited.” Beatrice was content to leave it at that, but Ava’s expression made it clear she wanted to know more. “From university. MI6 often taps…” She hated to sound like a braggart. “Noteworthy students - in their words.” 

“Were you a noteworthy student?” Ava wondered, feeling as though she already knew the answer. 

“In some ways, I guess…” Beatrice trailed off once more. Of course, she was being more than slightly humble. Yet, in a world such as theirs, paper achievements barely mattered. 

“You’re going to have to give me more than that.”

“I was top of my class at Oxford.” A quiet admission crossed her lips. “And a skilled fighter. A few intense months of training, and…” She made a flourish with her hand. “The perfect covert operative.” 

“I wouldn’t bash the training too much, you speak lovely Russian.” Ava leaned back against the seat, trying to appear at ease. In reality, she thought of her own training, the harsh abuse that was meant to prepare her. It made Ava feel slightly sick to think of Beatrice going through the same, even if she seemed more than strong enough to handle it. 

“Yours isn’t terrible either. How did you find yourself here?” 

“That’s… A bit of a long story.” 

Beatrice gestured around them. “It appears we’ve got time.” Ava looked out the window, then back at Beatrice. It seemed as though her façade had cracked ever so slightly. 

“I was recruited too. Like you, I suppose.” Ava sighed, trying to think of a funnier way to explain the circumstances that led her to this situation. “The agency likes to look for people without families - without connections. That way, it’s less risky. There’s no collateral that the enemy can hold over you and you don’t have to explain your erratic schedule to anyone.” 

“That makes sense.” Beatrice knew this, of course, but she wanted to be respectfully careful. “So you don’t have a husband waiting for you back home?” She added the last part as a joke, since Beatrice was certain she knew what Ava would reply. 

“Ha! No.” Ava grinned, slightly surprised to hear Beatrice speak with such levity. “No family to speak of. Just a best friend, though she has the unfortunate pleasure of working with me. Actually, I suppose in technical terms, she’s my boss.” 

“Your best friend is your boss?”

“It didn’t start out that way! We started out at the same level, but she recently got promoted over me.” Ava explained.

“And why is that?” Beatrice asked with a smirk.

“Believe it or not, I’m a bit of a polarising asset.” Ava replied, though Beatrice disliked the way she called herself an asset. It was one of many ways that both their agencies tried to dehumanise the agents that risked their lives daily. 

“I can’t say I’m surprised.” Though in fairness, Beatrice was growing more fond of Ava by the minute and found it increasingly hard to believe anyone would dislike her. 

“Yeah, I figured you would say that. I’m not bothered by it, if I’m being honest. I have enough people who like me that I can keep my job. Besides, I’m currently leading in successful operations, so even my detractors can’t bash my methods too harshly.”

Before they could continue their conversation, the sound of a train horn and screeching brakes interrupted them. Beatrice stood, despite the jostling in the cabin, to grab her jacket. 

“And to think, I was just starting to like the train.” Ava muttered as she slid her own coat back on. 

“I prefer the ferry.” Beatrice replied as they carefully threaded their way through the crowded hallway to disembark at the station. 

It was a short walk from the platform and outside to the dock. Cold wind whipped off the water and through Ava’s hair, a mess of blonde that she was unable to tame. The sight of it made Beatrice’s heart pound. A few minutes later, they found themselves standing beside the railing, on the ship’s rear deck. Granted, it would have been a more comfortable journey had they chosen to sit inside the heated cabin. But, between the wind and the engine noise, the back deck allowed them to speak more freely. As freely as two guarded women could, at least. 

“Is there anything you  _ do  _ like about London?” Ava asked once the ship had left the harbour and began crossing the English Channel.

“People mind their own business. That might be British people in general… No offense, but Americans tend to be chatty.” 

“Oh, you’re right.” Ava smiled at Beatrice’s observation. “Though you are chatting with me now.”

“At great personal risk, I might add.” Beatrice replied, though Ava didn’t make her feel unsafe in the slightest. If anything, being with Ava made her feel safer than she had felt in a long time. 

“It’s good you’re aware of that.” Ava’s hands were gripped around the freezing metal railing, her knuckles had gone white. Beatrice wondered if that was nervousness or something else. “I am very dangerous.” A wide grin did little to accentuate her point. 

“I’m sure.” Beatrice nodded, thinking for a moment. Her instincts screamed at her, but she chose to ignore them. With gentle movements, she wrapped a hand over Ava’s and carefully threaded their fingers together around the railing. Even from that tiny point of contact, Beatrice could tell how nervous Ava was. She might put on a calm face, but she was anything but. At the motion, Ava raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn’t outwardly acknowledge it.

They stood in silence for several minutes, content to watch the boat’s wake as it cut through the dark water. Ava’s thoughts wandered for a while, though Beatrice’s presence was a clear constant. Meanwhile, Beatrice couldn’t help but watch Ava. She wondered where her mind went in the quiet moments between their vague and tense conversations. Eventually, Ava spoke, her voice slightly raspy from the cold silence. 

“It’s a lonely job, isn’t it?” 

“Immensely.” Beatrice was used to being lonely, though she was loath to admit it. In some ways, it was the perfect career. A lonely job following a lonely adolescence. 

“And it’s not anything like I expected it to be.” Ava refused to meet Beatrice’s gaze as she spoke. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know…” Ava shook her head and plastered on a slight smile, though it never reached her eyes. Beatrice could sense that her false personality had just slid back into place. “I suppose it’s not as…  _ Intriguing  _ as I would have hoped.”

“I’m still not sure I know what you mean.” Beatrice’s cheeks burned from the cold, though she was acutely aware of her continued contact with Ava. 

“There are crazy nights, of course, like last night… But then there is a lot of waiting and travelling, which can be interesting, but often isn’t. The pay is decent, too, though I’m still not entirely sure if it's worth going through the awful training for. I don’t know - maybe your training was less terrible? I’m not sure how they do it here.” Ava rambled slightly, a telltale sign of her own nervousness. It was curious that two high-ranking and internationally-operating spies would be so nervous about sharing a simple conversation. 

“It’s not.” Beatrice shuddered as she thought of her own experience in training.

“I hate to hear that.” Ava replied quietly. And she truly did. Despite having met Beatrice only two days ago, she felt oddly protective. 

“I -” Beatrice’s eyes widened as she saw four large men working their way through the containers that crowded the lower deck. Using her grip on Ava’s hand, she pulled her down, hiding them both behind a wooden box of life jackets.

“This is less than ideal…” Ava whispered as the men grew closer. “What’s the plan?” 

“Take them out silently.” Beatrice explained with an urgent speed in her voice. “We might be out of view of the cabin, but a gunshot wouldn’t be. My silencer is in my bag…” She felt angry about her lack of foresight - a stupid mistake. 

“I’ll take the two on the left.” Ava breathed, her muscles tensing for action. 

Time seemed to stretch as they waited for the men to draw closer. A few interminable seconds later, their stilted Russian was audible, even as they tried to whisper amongst themselves. 

“Gde zhenshchiny?” One of the men asked, obviously frustrated. Beatrice and Ava exchanged a look, it was obvious that the men were talking about the two of them.

“My ne mozhem uyti, poka ne naydem ikh i fayly.” Another one replied. 

“ _ The files! _ ” Ava mouthed as she made a few panicked hand gestures. Beatrice rolled her eyes and vaulted over the box, ready for a fight. Thankfully, Ava followed suit a millisecond later. While the man closest to Beatrice had immediately thrown a punch, she ducked beneath it, causing him to punch his fist through a supply closet instead. He tried to extricate his now broken hand while Beatrice traded blows with the other man.

Simultaneously, Ava climbed onto a storage container before jumping onto one of the Russian’s backs, choking him with her legs. In his panicked rage, he slammed her into a wall, a hit that  _ had  _ to have hurt. His friend eventually managed to pull her off, though Ava kicked him in the nose on the way. With a frustrated grunt, she pulled out her hairpin and held it in her fist like a spiked knuckle. 

In watching Ava’s odd methods, Beatrice took a sharp fist to the rib cage, which threw her off balance. She recovered quickly, though, and managed to knock one of her assailants painfully into an empty container. His head smashed against the metal and he fell heavily to the floor. The other Russian she was fighting grew angrier after that, which Beatrice was grateful for. It made him sloppy. She let him force her back, or rather, Beatrice let him think that he was forcing her backwards. In reality, she wanted him close to the railing, so she could deftly maneuver him over the edge and into the water. 

Once Beatrice had liberated herself of attackers, she stepped forward with the intention of helping Ava - who didn’t seem to need much aid. Somehow, she managed to lock both of her targets into the nearby boiler room. Just in case, she wrapped a thick length of ship rope around the locked handle, tying the door shut. As she had the night prior, Ava cleaned her hairpin off and restrained her wild waves. 

“Are you alright?” Ava asked as she rejoined Beatrice by the railing. She wore a tiny smile, despite the pain radiating in her body. Even with the violence they both just witnessed, it seemed to break the tension between them, rather than amplify it. 

“Are you?” Beatrice had seen and heard Ava take a few hard hits, even if she seemed at ease. 

“All par for the course, I suppose.” Ava looked around cautiously, though there seemed to be no more interlopers, at least for the moment. “Do you think there will be any more?” 

“On the ferry, I doubt it.” Beatrice was fairly confident that, had the Soviets sent more men aboard, they would have all attacked at once. “Though I can’t say for certain that there won’t be more waiting on the train.” 

“I’m almost happy I came with you, then.” Ava joked. At least, she spoke as if she were joking, but there was a definite hint of truth behind her words.

“Had you made less of a scene at the embassy, they might not have sent anyone after us.” Beatrice retorted.

Ava pressed a hand to her chest in feigned indignance. “I feel like I was, at the very least, adequately helpful.” 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.” Beatrice replied with a smirk. She liked their banter. But, she had to work hard to ignore how worrying it was that Ava was as desensitised to violence as she was. It was a condition that didn’t come with ease. 

“Hey!” Ava laughed gently. “I saved the day in the office. You would have had to fight two men, otherwise.” 

“You say that as though you think I couldn’t manage.” 

“Oh, I know you could have.” Ava didn’t hide how highly she thought of Beatrice and her abilities. “I’m just saying that I wasn’t  _ totally useless. _ ” 

“You’re right.” Beatrice patted Ava on the shoulder. “You weren’t totally useless.” 

Of course, Beatrice was impressed with Ava too, even if her methods were a step beyond unorthodox. In a way, that made her a stronger agent. The KGB had entire divisions dedicated to analysing allied fighting techniques, that worked to isolate different training methods. Since Ava fought like no one but herself, it made her all that much harder to beat. Beatrice was quickly starting to realise why Ava referred to herself as a ‘polarising asset.’

Just as the restrained Russians began to stir, the ferry docked in Dover. Ava and Beatrice hurried off the deck and into the train station. A conductor took their tickets without incident and led them to a first class cabin aboard the train. 

“You… Have a bit of blood…” Beatrice whispered once they were behind closed doors. She reached out, gently wiping Ava’s cheek with the pad of her thumb. The gesture made them both blush furiously. 

“I… Thank you.” Ava mumbled as she tried to collect her messy thoughts. After a few tense seconds, she spoke again. “Did you see anything suspicious when we were coming in?” 

“No, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be another incident.” Upon retrieving their bags from the ferry’s cargo hold, both women had retrieved the silencers for their weapons.

“Is it too much to hope for a few hours of calm?” Ava grumbled as she leaned against the seat. While her levity was endearing, Beatrice noticed for the first time how tired Ava looked. 

“In this line of work? Yes.” 

“Ugh…” Ava moaned under her breath as the train began to pull out of the station. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m going to go grab another coffee, do you want anything?” She rose from her seat.

“Actually, do you mind if I accompany you?” Beatrice wasn’t sure if she was worried about the Soviets, or just wanted to be near Ava. Maybe both. 

“Do you not trust me?” Ava asked playfully as she slid open the cabin door. Her tone made Beatrice’s pulse quicken in a way that the earlier attack hadn’t. She sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to retain her composure.

“It’s not you I distrust.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Ava smiled as she walked towards the dining carriage. 

Instead of staying in the open, they both ordered a beverage and returned to the cabin. The dining carriage had been more crowded than during their morning journey and neither of them wanted to risk being overheard. 

“That hits the spot.” Ava whispered as she gratefully sipped her coffee and looked out the window. The sun was setting as they rolled through the countryside, painting the sky with vibrant hues. It was a stark contrast against the dull landscape of late autumn.

“You don’t smoke, do you?” Beatrice observed quietly. It was a rarity in their line of work. Hell, it seemed to be a rarity amongst the general adult population. 

“No, why?” Ava turned away from the window to face Beatrice.

“Just wondering…” 

“Do you?” Ava asked with a curious expression. 

“No.” 

“Do you drink coffee?” Ava followed up with another question, since to her, coffee was nearly as critical to survival as air. 

“Sometimes. Not often.” Beatrice smiled. These odd, rapidfire questions were strangely comforting. And if she got to learn more about Ava, then that was just an added bonus. “Do you drink tea?”

“Same answer, rarely…” Ava’s face darkened slightly as she thought. “If it’s my only form of caffeine, I’ll make do.”

Beatrice intuited that there was more to the story than Ava was telling, but she didn’t push the issue. Ava had respected her boundaries thus far and she was determined to do the same. 

“Do you…” Beatrice’s words died in her mouth. It was too morbid a question to ask so callously. 

“What were you going to say?” Ava asked. Beatrice wasn’t the only one who was curious about her newfound companion. 

“Do you keep track of… Your kills?” She hesitated, trying to think of a gentler way to phrase it. “It’s common amongst some of my colleagues.” Beatrice added, lest Ava think she was totally unhinged. 

“No.” Ava lied to Beatrice. It wasn’t that she  _ wanted  _ to, moreso she couldn’t seem to detach herself as easily as others could. “It’s not uncommon for us either. You?” 

“No.” Unlike Ava, Beatrice wasn’t lying. She decided early in her career not to fixate on it. The people that came after them were aiming to kill too, she was just faster. Of course, there were a few incidents that would likely haunt Beatrice forever, but she neglected to mention them. She had to imagine Ava felt the same. 

Silence settled around them for a couple minutes. It wasn’t as tense as before, almost if they were starting to enjoy each other's company. Eventually, Ava asked another question, though the topic had veered so sharply away from work, Beatrice wondered what steps her mind took to get there. 

“What are you doing for Christmas?” 

“What?” Beatrice was sure that she had heard Ava wrong. 

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Ava asked again. “It’s only a month away.” 

“I…” Beatrice racked her brain for an answer that wasn’t there. Like always, she was doing nothing. “Nothing of note, I suppose.” 

“Nothing?” Ava couldn’t believe it.

“You’re not the only one without a family.” Beatrice muttered sharply, though she immediately regretted her tone as she said it, even if Ava seemed not to mind. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Ava didn’t know Beatrice’s situation, since she barely knew Beatrice, but she could tell that there was pain in her words.

“Sorry, I… Didn’t mean to snap at you.” Had she bit at anyone else, Beatrice would have barely cared, but something made her feel compelled to apologise.

It was dark by the time they reached London and the city was blanketed in a familiar fog. Beatrice sighed as they disembarked the train, the familiarity almost more painful than the growing bruises beneath her jacket. Ava walked beside her as they cautiously exited the train station and hailed a cab. 

Beatrice muttered instructions to the driver, though Ava could tell they were intentionally roundabout. It was clever, a smart way to deter anyone who may be following them. London’s streets were famously complex, but it never hurt to convolute matters further. The ride was silent, though Ava watched Beatrice check for a tail several times. She admired Beatrice’s thoroughness, doubly so since it was one of several qualities that Ava didn’t seem to possess. 

After a long and stressful day, Beatrice and Ava finally found themselves on the sidewalk adjacent to Beatrice’s building. 

“My flat’s on the fourth floor.” She whispered as they crossed through the lobby and towards the elevator. She was nervous again, though it had nothing to do with Ava’s presence next to her. That would be ridiculous.


	4. I'm In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shannon has a proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired idk

Ava awoke in a cold sweat, despite the radiator that hummed beside her. It was still nighttime and the lights from the street below painted bright squares on the ceiling. She laid as still as possible, while trying to catch her breath. A sigh escaped Ava’s lips and she fervently hoped she hadn’t shouted in her sleep.

Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness while she calmed down. Beatrice’s spare room was, like Beatrice, inordinately tidy. Of course, like Beatrice, Ava had to wonder if there was more beneath the surface. Try as she might to deny it, Ava couldn’t help but acknowledge the marked difference between the past few days and those that preceded them. Meeting Beatrice already held such a significance in her mind, a significance that made Ava burn with curiosity. 

There was a clear tension between them, that much was obvious. Despite Beatrice’s kindness, Ava knew there was always a possibility that she could be a double agent, feeding information to the Russians as she laid helpless in bed. Angrily, Ava tried to shake the idea from her mind. True, she still barely knew Beatrice, but she had a good intuition. Somehow, she knew it wasn’t a possibility. A smile then crossed her lips - did Beatrice think the same of her? 

Beyond the distrust that seemed to taint anyone who worked in intelligence, Ava couldn't escape her curiosity. She wanted to know everything about Beatrice. Her stories, her dreams, the fears that kept her up at night - just as Ava was being kept up right now. And if those were too big of questions, Ava would have settled on knowing Beatrice’s favourite food. Perhaps there was a name to this borderline rabid curiosity, but Ava couldn’t seem to put a finger on it. Or  _ wouldn’t.  _ Instead, she fell asleep, albeit much calmer this time, as her thoughts were focused on Beatrice. 

At six, the alarm clock blared through the room. Had it not belonged to Beatrice, Ava might have thrown it out the window. Instead, she begrudgingly slid out from under the warm covers, flinching as her feet met the cold floor. She groaned grumpily and dug through her suitcase for something to wear. Unfortunately, she hadn’t anticipated staying in Europe this long. Hopefully, Beatrice would be willing to lend her something professional. 

“Good morning.” Beatrice greeted her calmly as Ava shuffled into the kitchen. It was a modest room, though well-appointed. And neat, of course. Beatrice clearly thought carefully about every item she brought into her home. 

“Good morning.” Ava replied as she tentatively sat at the table. She was surprised to see Beatrice still in her pajamas.

“Coffee?” Beatrice offered from behind a steaming mug of tea. 

“Please.” Ava was beyond grateful for the offer and doubly grateful that Beatrice even had a coffee machine. 

“Did you sleep alright?” Beatrice asked as they waited for the machine to brew. It was an unfair question though, since she had heard Ava’s distress in the night. Part of her wanted to run in and comfort Ava, though Beatrice’s more logical instincts had dissuaded her. 

“Yes, fine. Thank you.” Ava lied, a falsehood exaggerated by the heavy bags that hung beneath her eyes. “Did you?” Perhaps a stupid question, seeing as Beatrice was in her own home, but Ava was curious nonetheless.

“As good as could be expected, I suppose.” Beatrice answered cryptically. She had a restless night and she would be lying if she denied her thoughts of Ava. 

Another minute passed before Beatrice handed Ava a warm cup of coffee. “You take it with cream, right?” She withdrew a carton from the fridge. 

“You remembered…” Ava almost smiled, but it seemed as though whatever warmth they had cultivated yesterday had re-frozen overnight. 

“It’s literally my job to remember the small details.” Beatrice whispered. “All of the Russians I’ve met take their coffee black.” 

“I’ve noticed the same, actually.” Ava added between grateful sips.

“I think every nation’s operatives have their own quirks.” Beatrice mentioned as she sat across from Ava at the small table. 

“Is that so?” Ava raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, what are the oddities of British intelligence?” 

“We’re all surly bastards, for one.” Her sudden vulgarity made Ava laugh, doubly so since Beatrice wasn’t wrong. 

“I don’t think you’re a surly bastard.” Ava smiled. “Though, I can’t say the same for some of your compatriots I’ve met along the way.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Beatrice offered Ava a tiny smirk. Perhaps their tiny spark of warmth could be rekindled after all. 

“Speaking of annoyances…” 

“Oh, no.”

“I know you’ve already been a gracious host, for which I am immensely appreciative.” Ava’s preamble was slightly ridiculous. “But I need to ask another favour.” 

“Shoot.” Beatrice nodded, curious more than anything. 

“Can I borrow something to wear? I wasn’t planning on being gone this long and I haven’t -” 

“You may.” Beatrice interrupted Ava’s rambling. 

“Thank you.” Ava’s cheeks burned slightly in embarrassment. She was not as smooth as she might have hoped. 

“I can’t have you going to headquarters in your pajamas.” Beatrice gestured to Ava’s wrinkled bedclothes and messy hair. “Think about how bad it would make me look.” She added cheekily, as a bit of banter between tentative friends. 

“I see how it is.” Ava grumbled, crossing her arms. In truth, she was anything but offended. Ava liked when Beatrice’s guard lifted enough for levity. It was like seeing behind the mask. Although, Ava suspected Beatrice might have more than one mask. Ava certainly did. 

“Do you want to come pick something out?” 

“Hm?” Ava had been lost in thought, though Beatrice’s question snapped her back to reality. “Yes. Please. If I can look half as beautiful as you, it would be an achievement.” 

Beatrice struggled to hide her blush as she led Ava into her bedroom. “How do you do that?” She asked, unable to contain her curiosity. 

“Do what?” Ava was looking around the room, her dark eyes seemingly surveying every detail for later analysis. 

“Say what you mean.”

“I have my moments.” Ava shrugged, though Beatrice knew her humorous apathy was a defense. “It’s not always… Only sometimes.”

Instead of pressing Ava on the issue, Beatrice moved on. “Here are pants.” She gestured to a set of hangers. “Followed by shirts. Dresses and skirts are at the end. Everything is organised by colour.” 

“Thank you.” Ava gently flipped through the hangers, while admiring Beatrice’s organisation. Her bed was already made, too. Upon seeing that, Ava made a mental note to make the bed in the spare room before Beatrice saw it. 

After a few minutes perusal, Ava settled on an outfit. “May I borrow this and this?” She held up a pair of black linen pants and black sweater. 

“The jumper’s a bit warm, but sure.” 

“I’m a bit cold.” Ava turned to address the piece of clothing in her hand. “I think we’ll get along fine.” 

“They already know you’re a spy though, you don’t need to wear black on black.” Beatrice teased as Ava left the room to get dressed. 

“Funny!” Ava retorted, though Beatrice could hear her chuckle as she walked down the hall. 

Half an hour later, they stepped back outside into the frigid air. Beatrice led Ava towards the train that would take them into the city proper.

“Are you nervous?” Beatrice asked quietly as they walked down into the station. 

“Should I be?” Ava wondered. She was plenty nervous already, but not about their destination. 

“I’m not sure…” While Beatrice was nearly always able to predict the outcome of a situation, Ava was a bit of an unknown. She’d phoned ahead, of course, but Shannon’s enthusiasm about Ava was lackluster at best.

“I haven’t seen Shannon in awhile.” Ava muttered while they stood side by side on the platform.

“Wait, what?” Beatrice stared at her. “You know Shannon?” 

“Yes?” 

“May I ask why?” 

“It’s a long story.” The screech of an approaching train filled the tunnel. “But it seems our ride is here.” 

Beatrice gave her a frustrated look, but climbed aboard without comment. She hated the Underground. Between the dark, sickening swaying of the train and the enclosed space… There wasn’t much to enjoy. Ava didn’t seem to mind though, since Beatrice watched her try to balance on a single foot while the train moved between stations. Her entertainment with it was almost juvenile - an odd juxtaposition from yesterday’s violence. 

At Lambeth North, they disembarked for a short walk down the road. The imposing MI6 building was just around the corner. It was always busy, with well-dressed employees rushing in and out. Few of them were operatives, though, most people worked in the data analysis or translation departments. With ease, the two of them slipped through the crowd towards the north end of the building. 

“ID?” The guard asked at the heavily guarded door. Beatrice withdrew the black and silver badge from her pocket and passed it to the guard. He nodded her through. “And you?” 

“Hopefully this is okay.” Ava grinned, producing her own badge, complete with the hideous golden eagle. 

“Go on through.” He nodded again, gruff and straight to the point. Most likely, Shannon had notified the staff of her arrival. 

Ava followed Beatrice down a grim series of hallways, with no distinguishable markings between them. It was a mystery how anyone got around here - they must all have to memorise the floorplan. The thought made Ava laugh, earning her a confused look from Beatrice. Eventually, she stopped in front of an unmarked door. 

“Ava, long time no see.” Shannon greeted her from across the table. The room was entirely windowless and Ava suspected it was soundproof as well. She was tempted to scream just to test the theory. 

“Shannon.” Ava nodded coldly, before sitting down. Beatrice silently followed suit, still painfully curious how the two knew each other. 

“This is Lilith, one of our top operatives.” Shannon introduced Ava and the two of them politely shook hands. “Now, Beatrice, what  _ exactly  _ happened in Paris?” 

“I infiltrated the embassy, as directed.” From within the lining of her jacket, she withdrew the files. They were not only written in Russian, but also in code. It could take weeks to translate them. “Which I did.”

“Yet you were followed here by an… American.” Lilith’s hesitation was almost insulting. “Who figured out who you were - or was told?” 

“It’s kind of a funny story.” Ava smiled, though no one seemed to agree with her. “I was on the same mission, Beatrice only beat me there by a couple of seconds.” 

“How interesting…” Shannon looked over the files, only half listening to Ava. “Did Mary know we would be there as well?” 

“Not that she told me.” Ava replied quietly. 

“So you followed Beatrice in hopes of stealing the files?” Lilith suggested, much more suspicious of Ava than anyone else had been.

“What? No!” Ava seemed genuinely offended, which Beatrice thought was odd. She had snapped at Ava a couple times in their travel together and Ava had barely noticed. Yet at the slightest provocation, she seemed ready to argue with Lilith. What was different?

“Are we supposed to  _ trust  _ you on that?” Lilith continued her questioning. The influence of her training was obvious. 

“Lilith, enough.” Shannon told her firmly. “Mary called ahead of Ava’s arrival. She is only here to ensure that our allies across the pond have access to the same information we do. Perhaps, this can be the start of a better relationship between two agencies with a common enemy.” 

“See, told you.” Ava whispered to Beatrice, who shot her a frustrated look in reply. 

“While I was on the phone, Mary actually made an interesting suggestion…” Shannon continued. 

“Did she?!” Ava looked excited, though neither Lilith or Beatrice understood why. 

“Not like that…” Shannon blushed slightly as Ava’s comment threw her off focus. “She proposed working towards more inter-agency collaboration.” 

“Are you joking?” Lilith didn’t seem pleased. 

“I am not.” 

“Just to clarify, does that mean we will get the information from the Paris files too?” Ava wondered, since she’d only come to London for that reason. Well, maybe two reasons. 

“Yes.” Shannon nodded. “Once they are translated and decoded, of course.” 

“With no censorship?” Ava needed to clarify further. There had been several incidents in the past where both groups had tried to keep key information from the other.

“No redactions. I promise.” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice chimed in. Shannon was being more accommodating than she had initially expected, though that might have something to do with Mary’s influence - whatever that may be. Beatrice made a mental note to ask Ava about it later. 

“What exactly does inter-agency collaboration look like?” Lilith wondered. Internally, of course, she was praying she wouldn’t have to work with Ava. Even after a few minutes, Lilith had no idea how Beatrice could deal with her. 

Shannon held up a hand, a nonverbal gesture requesting that Lilith hold her question. “I got a report about four Soviet hitmen that were found… Dispatched on the ferry yesterday. You two wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?” Ava shivered slightly at Shannon’s description, but only Beatrice noticed.

“We didn’t instigate the conflict.” Beatrice began, turning her focus away from Ava for a moment. “They were trying to recover the files.”

“Did the men fight well?” Lilith asked in a whisper. 

“Yes.” Ava answered with surprising brevity. 

“Yet you two took them out without injury or discovery…” Shannon sounded mildly impressed. Ava and Beatrice exchanged a look, but they nodded without comment. “What about the three dead guards at the embassy?” 

“That’s my fault.” Ava claimed, before Beatrice could contradict her. “Beatrice likely would have led a smoother operation if I hadn’t been there.” 

“So the truth comes out…” Lilith seemed determined to dislike Ava, an observation that made Beatrice more angry than it should have. 

“Is this true?” Shannon was trying to stay on task, she had other meetings to get to. 

“It’s impossible to know for certain.” Beatrice explained, though she was grateful for Ava’s willingness to take the blame. “Sending four agents out to kill us in broad daylight suggests that the data we stole is more important than initial reports suggested.” Her use of the word ‘we’ didn’t escape Ava’s notice. “It’s likely that they would have done regular rounds past the office, which would have led me into trouble regardless.” 

“Sometimes, I wonder if I should take you out of the field and stick you in the analysis office…” Shannon muttered as she looked over the files once more. “Be that as it may… It’s obvious you two work well together.” Lilith rolled her eyes at Shannon’s statement. “I need to make a few calls, can you two meet me in my office, say… Two hours?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice nodded.

“In the meantime, you should both consider going down to the cafeteria and getting some food. You’re both looking a little rough around the edges.” Shannon stood and left, followed quickly by Lilith. 

“I don’t look rough…” Ava grumbled as rose from her chair. “Though I am hungry.” 

“Me too.” 

Silently, the pair traced their steps through the monotone hallways. “I hate it here.” Ava whispered after a few minutes.

“Why?” Beatrice didn’t necessarily disagree, but she was curious what Ava’s reasoning was. 

“It’s creepy and dark. There’s no windows. Everyone seems pale and stressed.” Ava mumbled, careful not to be overhead. Beatrice didn’t want to tell Ava that she looked pale and stressed too.

“There’s no windows for security, though I’m sure you know that.” Beatrice led Ava into the cafeteria. “I don’t like it either. It’s one of many reasons I prefer being in the field.” 

“Do you have other reasons?” Ava wondered while grabbing a tray from the stack. They arrived at an odd hour, the large room was nearly empty save for the kitchen staff. 

“I do.” Beatrice replied cautiously. 

“May I ask what they are?” Ava continued the conversation once they were seated at a small table. Fervently, Beatrice wished for a window they could sit by. The lack of natural light made her feel enclosed.

“It’s lonely, as you know. But I do  _ like  _ this job. Sometimes, at least.” 

“As do I.” Ava immediately understood where Beatrice was coming from. 

“I like travelling. There is a certain freedom in existing outside the confines of traditional society. No one knows you, no one cares what you are doing or where you are going. Of course, this inspires loneliness too.” Beatrice explaining, painfully aware that she had never discussed this aloud. 

“It’s a double edged sword. I know exactly what you mean.” 

“I wish you didn’t.” 

“Why?” Ava raised an eyebrow and took a sip of coffee.

“I just…” Beatrice sighed and looked away from Ava’s sharp gaze. “I don’t like to think of you suffering.” She whispered, finally, with a blush across her cheeks. 

“I understand.” Ava replied with equal, shy reverence. “I feel the same about you, believe it or not.” 

“Really?” Beatrice wasn’t sure if she was surprised or not. 

“Really.” Ava’s confidence returned in a flash, her mask returning. “The food here is better than the garbage they serve in Virginia.” She added casually while spreading butter across a piece of toast.

“That’s a low bar.” Beatrice had been a few times and knew the truth behind Ava’s statement. She was frustrated, however, with Ava’s sudden change from serious conversation to flippant small talk. 

Ava didn’t reply after that, content to work her way through food in silence. The meeting with Shannon and Lilith had been interesting, though she had a million questions she wanted to ask. If their agencies were going to work together more in the future, would that mean that Ava had a greater chance of seeing Beatrice? Even after only a few days together, Ava was sure that she would be sad to say goodbye. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hm?” Ava met Beatrice’s curious eyes. 

“When there is silence between us…” Beatrice hesitated, unsure if she wanted to reveal her observation. “It seems like you’re somewhere else. In your thoughts, I mean.” 

“Oh.” The corner of Ava’s mouth twitched, as if she was resisting the urge to smile. “It’s not always the same. So, I don’t have a good answer for you. I’m sorry.” 

“May I ask another question?” Beatrice mumbled as she picked at her food.

“You may.” 

“What is Shannon and Mary’s relationship, exactly?” She hadn’t missed Ava’s curious excitement in the office. 

“Oh…” Ava looked around the empty room. “I’m not sure if it is my place to tell you. Although I guess you can keep a secret…” She laughed for a second at her own joke. “They’ve been having a secret affair for the last few years.” 

“How do you know?” Beatrice wondered - it was the most tame of her sudden rush of thoughts. 

“Mary alluded to it a few times by accident and…” Ava tapped the side of her head with a grin. “I might not be as dumb as everyone thinks I am.” The wink she added at the end made Beatrice’s heart race. That, and her casual perception of non-traditional relationships. She didn’t know, did she?

“I doubt anyone thinks you’re dumb.” Somehow, Beatrice managed to continue their conversation, even as her thoughts raced out of control. 

“Mmm… You might have to come to Langley before you can confidently say that.” 

“Why do I feel like there is something you’re not telling me…” 

“Well…” Ava’s grin widened. “There have certainly been incidents. “That might be a story for another day.” With the smile that adorned her face, Beatrice could almost ignore the exhaustion that hung on Ava’s face and the sound of her screams. Almost. 

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Beatrice replied quietly. 

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” 

Somehow, their quick chat ended up stretching well over an hour. With a start, Beatrice looked up at the clock and realised the time. 

“How have we been talking so long?” She stood, empty tray in hand. “We better get going, Shannon will be annoyed if we’re late.” 

“Time flies, huh…” Ava mumbled as she followed Beatrice from the room. 

Outside Shannon’s office, they stood, awkward and nervous. After an interminable couple of minutes, the door cracked open. 

“I just got off the phone with Mary.” Shannon told them as they walked into the finely appointed office. “She was less than pleased at first, but ultimately is impressed with your dedication to follow this mission through.” 

“Thank you.” Ava nodded, grateful for the recognition. 

“She also agrees that you and Beatrice work well together.” Shannon added. “With the upset you two caused, I worry about either of you working alone - at least for the next few months. Andropov will not take the loss of state secrets lightly.”

“What are you suggesting?” Beatrice asked. It was obvious that Shannon was winding up to something. 

“It’s unorthodox, I know, but would you two consider working as partners?” Shannon’s words seem to hang in the air as a panicked quiet enveloped both women. 

“In what capacity?” Beatrice managed to choke after a pregnant pause. 

“Our planning is still in its infancy, but we’re looking at…” She glanced down at the page of notes in front of her. “At least four missions, maybe more.” 

“What about Lilith?” Beatrice had worked several missions in tandem with her.

“She’s meeting Camila in a few days for a different series of operations.” Shannon explained. 

“She’s meeting Camila?!” Ava couldn’t help but feel excited about that. Camila might be the only person who could temper Lilith’s bitterness. 

“Yes?” Shannon raised an eyebrow at Ava’s sudden outburst. 

“Sorry.” Ava hung her head. “Please continue.” 

“My superiors and contacts at the CIA think that small teams, working in collaboration, might be an effective tactic. The combination of resources and training seem to be, at least in the case of you two, inherently synergistic.” Shannon flipped a page in her notes. “If you both agree, of course, you’ll be needed in East Germany in less than a week’s time.” 

“I’m in if Beatrice is.” Ava barely considered it. She didn’t need to. 

“I’m in.” Beatrice whispered. Nothing would have compelled her to answer otherwise.


	5. The River Below

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ava go out to dinner and then take a walk. But there might be danger lurking around the corner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i crave death

“Is Lilith always so grumpy?” Ava asked Beatrice quietly. It had been a long day of meetings for the both of them and the kettle was heating quietly atop the stove. 

“I wish I could say no…” Beatrice replied. “It’s been a stressful few months, I think she has taken it harder than most.”

“Why is that?” 

“I’m not entirely sure.” The kettle screamed and interrupted her thoughts. Beatrice quickly poured two cups, setting one in front of Ava. “Her parents were both high-ranking operatives during the war, she was basically groomed for this job from childhood.”

“That’s quite sad.” Ava whispered, staring at the cup of tea. She hadn’t asked for it, but Beatrice’s hospitality was decidedly English. The gentle seeping of the teabag was almost hypnotic…

“Ava, are you alright?” Beatrice inquired as she sat across from her. As usual, Ava’s mind had wandered away from the conversation, though she seemed less happy than Beatrice had observed previously. 

“Yes, sorry.” Her dark eyes met Beatrice’s. “I feel bad for her. It sounds like a hard life.” 

“I’d avoid telling her that, if I were you. I don’t think Lilith would take it well.” Beatrice advised. 

“I believe you.” Ava hesitated for a moment. “She’s pretty, though.” 

“Beautiful.” Beatrice agreed in a murmur. 

Ava turned her attention back to the tea, which was now fully steeped. Curiously, Beatrice only looked on.

“Do you want milk or sugar?” She offered carefully.

“Hmm?” Ava returned to reality once more. In her painful exhaustion, she was finding it harder to remain focused. “No. Thank you.” To be polite, Ava took a sip of the warm beverage and tried to ignore the memories that rushed through her skull. 

“You agreed quickly today, in Shannon’s office.” 

“So did you.” Ava countered. “Wait - you didn’t feel compelled just because I -”

“No, no.” Beatrice interrupted. “I agreed with Shannon.”

“So do I. We’re a good team.” Ava smiled slightly. “At least, I think so.”

“You’re a bit unpredictable… But I’m inclined to agree.”

“Speaking of unpredictable… Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? With me, preferably?” 

“With you, I don’t know…” Beatrice smirked, making Ava laugh. 

“I suppose I walked into that.” Ava grinned crookedly. “Somewhere quiet though, I don’t think I have the energy to get wild tonight. You’ll have to wait another day to see my stunning dance moves.” 

“I am waiting in sheer anticipation.” Beatrice joked, except she wasn’t joking. The thought of seeing Ava dance made her heart pound.

“I’m happy to hear that.” Ava retorted. Following her words, she forced herself to not only drink more tea, but keep a neutral expression as she did so. Despite Ava’s efforts, Beatrice was observant. She noticed Ava’s stiff discomfort, but didn’t comment on it. 

“There’s a good Italian place down the street. It’s relatively quiet, especially during the week.” Beatrice told her. 

“I’ll never say no to pasta.” Ava looked past Beatrice, towards the clock that hung on the wall. “What time should we leave? Six thirty?” 

“Sounds perfect.” In all honesty, Beatrice didn’t care. 

In true Ava fashion, her next question was a complete abandonment of their current topic. “Do you feel guilty?” 

“About?” Beatrice asked after a short hesitation. There was a lot that haunted her, but Beatrice wasn’t eager to jump into that, least of all with Ava. 

“The men at the embassy. Or on the ferry.” 

“Honestly? Not really.” Beatrice wondered if Ava would be judgemental of her answer, but she didn’t want to lie. Especially at the embassy, when Ava had been in danger, Beatrice had reacted almost without thought - a terrifying rarity. 

“You don’t?” Ava’s expression was neutral, unreadable. 

“No. Perhaps you think less of me, I don’t know…” Beatrice looked down. “But they would have killed us just as readily - or worse.” 

“You’re right.” Ava whispered. “But I don’t think less of you for that.”

“You don’t?” Beatrice prompted, hoping Ava would explain her reasoning. 

“No. Of course not. In fairness, I think there is very little you could do right now to make me think less of you.” Ava paused, watching Beatrice’s reaction carefully. “Your view makes sense, I think it’s probably the healthiest way that someone in our line of work could reasonably look at it.”

“How do  _ you  _ look at it?” 

“What’s to say I feel any different than you?” 

“I just have a feeling…” Beatrice whispered. The familiar tension had enveloped them once more.

“I’m not sure how I see it, if I’m being truthful… I think my answer might change, depending on the day. The men who attacked us probably believed that they were doing the right thing, for their nation and their fellow countrymen.”

“We believe the same on our side, too.” Beatrice added, earning a small nod from Ava. 

“At least, that’s what we are taught to believe. Which side is truly  _ right  _ though?” Ava nervously tapped the handle of her mug. It was distracting, Beatrice wondered if she was making Ava nervous, or if it was the conversation between them. 

“I suppose the answer is neither, or both?” 

“I don’t even know if there is an answer. Everyone has done horrible things in the fervent belief that they are truly righteous. Maybe we’re all the same…”

Beatrice shuddered at the thought. The talk of righteousness and belief rang eerily similar to the religious teachings of her childhood. Teachings which she had no desire to think about.

“You’ve thought about this a lot.” 

“I have.” Ava admitted shamefully, as if she was worried Beatrice was going to judge her for it.

“I’ve never considered it like that before.” Beatrice told her. It made sense, though, given what she knew of Ava. 

“I think most people haven’t. In training, they try to indoctrinate everyone into thinking that  _ we  _ are the heroes and the Soviets are the villains. Nothing is ever that simple.” The contempt in her voice was clear. 

“I suppose not…” Beatrice mumbled. Desperately, she wanted to reach across the table and take Ava’s hand in her own. She resisted the temptation, but only just. “We should get going.” 

“Oh!” Ava looked at the clock. “Time seems to be moving quickly today.” 

As Beatrice had promised, the Italian restaurant was quiet, a welcome respite from the aching cold. The waiter sat them by the window, a relief for both women. Outside, the dark river and the glowing, foggy city. 

“This is nice.” Ava mumbled, nervous, as though this were a date. 

“It’s one of my favourite parts of the city. Albeit, there aren’t many.” Beatrice replied, equally nervous. They couldn’t speak as freely in public, obviously, which left few topics for conversation.

“Do you have a favourite city, if not here?” 

“I don’t know if I’m much of a city person. Someday, I would like to live somewhere in the country, maybe on a farm.” Beatrice paused in shock. She’d never admitted this to anyone. “I don’t know how to run a farm, mind you, but it seems… Nice.” It was a weak conclusion to her sentiment, but Beatrice couldn’t seem to find a better word. 

“I understand.” While Ava didn’t know if she agreed, she respected Beatrice’s opinion. Additionally, she was delighted to learn more about the woman that sat across from her. 

“Do you? Have a favourite city - I mean?” 

“A favourite city…” Ava repeated slowly, as though she were weighing each word in her mouth. “I’m not sure if I do. Should one stand out to me, I promise you’ll be the first to know.” 

The waiter interrupted with two beautiful plates of pasta. “For you.” He told them with a flourish, setting the warm plates on the table. “Two beautiful dishes for two beautiful women.” 

“Oh, you flatter me.” Ava smiled, her natural charm forcing the waiter to blush as he returned to work. Beatrice understood how he felt. “Oh my  _ God,  _ this looks and smells amazing.” She said, turning her attention back to dinner. 

Both women sat in silence for a few minutes, content to eat their pasta. After a couple of long, stressful days, the meal was beyond comforting. Ava gazed out the window, watching the occasional ship pass, though she snuck the occasional glance at Beatrice. 

“It was amazing. I was right.” Ava reported.

“I’m glad you think so.” Beatrice followed Ava’s line of sight to the river below. “We can take the long way home, if you want. After being trapped inside all day, it might be nice to walk by the river.” 

“I’d love that.” Ava smiled slightly as she looked back at Beatrice. She was beautiful, without compromise. It was hard for Ava to watch her for too long, lest she become completely distracted. At least, more than she already was. In Ava’s mind, today couldn’t have gone better. She had already been dreading the eventual departure from Beatrice - but their new partnership was more than promising. 

Following dinner, the two of them walked beside the Thames with icy breaths hanging in the air. Beatrice walked close beside the railing and Ava was a step or two away. The gap she left between her and Beatrice was only a few feet, but it might as well have been a mile. Compared to their prior travels, it was odd. 

“What’s wrong?” Beatrice asked as they strode in silence, their steps gentle on the path.

“Why do you ask?” Under the streetlights, Ava looked golden, at least to Beatrice. They highlighted her wildness, her unpredictability, with which Beatrice was taken.

“Have…” Beatrice trailed off, she’d figured it out. “You’re scared of the water, aren’t you?” It was a bit forward, perhaps, but Beatrice remembered Ava’s tense grip on the railing of the ferry.

“You’re very observant.” Ava whispered, answering the question in a roundabout way. “I suppose I am.”

“Why?” Beatrice could sense her curiosity, the way it blurred her perception of boundaries, of manners. But she couldn’t bring herself to care, to stop asking Ava questions. 

“When I first began my training, I couldn’t swim. Obviously, that’s not an acceptable deficiency for someone in our line of work.”

“Of course.” Beatrice breathed, remembering the brutal water-based training exercises that she had gone through. Even as a strong swimmer, they stood out as particularly harrowing.

“I excelled at every other training modality, so it wasn’t a question of dismissal.” Ava sighed heavily. “Well, I can swim now. I guess that’s what matters.” Instead of replying right away, Beatrice stepped away from the railing and closer to Ava. With the darkness as a protection, she took Ava’s cold hand in her own, a tiny comfort between friends. 

“This job creates fears in all of us, even if it gets rid of others at the same time.” Beatrice said eventually. 

“I can’t imagine you being scared of anything.” Ava mumbled, revealing how highly she thought of Beatrice, albeit not for the first time. Beatrice exhaled sharply, almost in humour. 

“I’m glad you think so highly of me.” Her grip on Ava’s hand tightened slightly. “But there is a lot in this world that frightens me - though I’ll admit some of it is… Unusual.” 

“Such as?” Ava couldn’t help but ask, desperately curious about Beatrice.

“Well, not violence, nor death.” She chuckled dryly. “Not anything of the things you’re supposed to be scared of.”

“I understand what you mean.” 

“I don’t like confined spaces.” Beatrice told her after a few seconds of hesitation. “If they have a window, it’s manageable, but… There’s several parts of the building at work that I can’t make myself enter, no matter how hard I try.” 

Ava had, in their travels, picked up on Beatrice’s claustrophobia. She didn’t mention it, though, for fear of being rude. 

“It’s why you prefer the ferry to the train.” Ava replied. It was obvious, in hindsight. The open, breezy deck must have seemed attractive to Beatrice after the hours on the train.

“And why you prefer the opposite.”

“And here I was, thinking we were two similar people.” 

“I don’t think there’s anyone like you, Ava.” Beatrice whispered. She liked how Ava’s name felt in her mouth, a realisation that led to a complex web of related thoughts. Her eyes slammed shut for a second as she struggled to remain focused. 

“You know, I get that a lot.” Ava grinned, seemingly oblivious to Beatrice’s internal struggle.

Silence enveloped the pair once more, though there was less tension now. It was surprisingly desolate outside and the cold, foggy city seemed to ache in its emptiness. Their hands stayed linked together the entire time, with neither woman having the strength to let go. 

“Had I known my stay would be longer, I would have brought some warmer clothes.” Ava tried to make conversation once more, about a lighter topic, this time. 

“You can borrow anything you need.” Beatrice told her at once. She had more than enough clothes, but Beatrice would be lying if she denied how much she liked seeing Ava in her clothes. 

“Really?” Ava raised an eyebrow. “Someone as put together, as proper as you… I’m already staying with you for the time being and you’re willing to lend me your clothes too?” 

“You sound surprised.” 

“I  _ am  _ surprised.” If it weren’t for Camila, and sometimes Mary, it’s likely that Ava would have never known kindness. “I will do my best not to get stabbed or shot, then.” She added with a cheeky smile. 

“I appreciate the effort.” Beatrice replied with equal levity, even if the thought of Ava getting injured made her sick to think about. 

“There’s a man, there.” Ava breathed, suddenly. She didn’t change her stride, though, in an attempt to appear oblivious. Beatrice did the same, an unspoken instinct between them. 

“I saw him earlier, too.” Beatrice carefully watched him. His clothes were dark, helping him blend in amongst the shadows on the other side of the river. 

“That’s almost never a coincidence.” Ava said what they both already knew. 

“Let’s continue to walk and see if he follows us.” Beatrice suggested, earning a nod from Ava. They were both tired, and cold, but there wasn’t another option. With painstaking effort, they both maintained an even, calm pace - despite the interloper. After several minutes, Beatrice led them down a narrow street, convinced that the man was now gone. Perhaps she and Ava were both being paranoid, it wouldn’t be too far a stretch. 

“Do you think…” Ava trailed off, as she caught sight of a silhouette at the end of the street. Her panic rose as she turned around and caught sight of a few more men. 

“What the  _ fuck? _ ” Beatrice whispered, pulling the gun from her coat. Two more men emerged from nearby buildings, making an even six. Time stretched as they crept forward, the time for subtlety long over. 

“I take three, you take three.” Ava muttered, before diving behind a car. Beatrice followed suit. A moment later, the plinking noise of bullets hitting metal began echoing through the street. With a full complement of silenced weapons, it was an oddly quiet exchange of fire. Ava and Beatrice did their best to find their targets, but with the amount of gunfire directed at the car, it was near impossible.

“I’m out.” Beatrice whispered, frustrated with herself that she hadn’t thought to bring any more ammo. Then again, it was a complete rarity to see a full, Soviet hit squad in London. 

“Me too.” Ava lamented, withdrawing the clip from her weapon. Confidently, the men moved closer to the car and holstered their weapons. It was this hubris that gave Ava an opening. 

To everyone’s surprise, she stood quickly, throwing her now-useless firearm at one of the men’s faces. His nose burst with crimson and he fell to the ground. While the other two tried to draw their weapons, she kicked them from hand, evening the fight. Grateful for the distraction, Beatrice hooked her foot around one of the men’s ankles, knocking him heavily to the ground. On her way up, she kicked him in the head for good measure. Two on one was much better odds. 

Frantically, the remaining men tried to reload their weapons, but Beatrice moved too quickly. Their guns clattered to the ground in a metallic symphony, a pile of wasted bullets. Despite their clear size advantage, the men seemed fearful. Beatrice pulled a small knife from her belt, holding it within her clenched fist. It made each strike that much more dangerous. 

Ava ducked beneath heavy punches, grateful for her small frame and speed. Deftly, she caught the wrist of one of the men and drove her hand up into his elbow. The sickening snap of the joint breaking made the man scream, before the pain hit. A moment later, he dropped to his knees in agony. 

Beatrice chanced a quick glance at Ava, happy to see that she was holding her own. The second of delay, however, allowed the remaining hitman to toss her against a parked car. Her back connected heavily with the metal, knocking the wind from her lungs as she fell to the pavement. She laid on the ground a moment, watching the man walk forward, a creepy grin on his face. At the moment before impact, Beatrice rolled out of the way, positioning herself behind him. With all the strength she could muster, Beatrice forced his head through the car’s window, smashing bloody glass onto the sidewalk. Brutal, but effective. 

Meanwhile, Ava continued to dodge heavy punches, but she was getting tired. Her assailant, however, was anything but. Ava carefully withdrew her hairpin, intent on finishing this fight quickly. She looked at Beatrice for a split second before attacking, just to ensure she didn’t need help. It was a dangerous risk, but Ava couldn’t seem to stop herself. 

After catching a punch to the shoulder, Ava’s stance was thrown off. Still, she used the change in momentum to her advantage and stabbed the man in the leg. He howled in pain, but didn’t stop attacking. With angry movements, he grabbed Ava’s arm as she moved towards a second attack, forcing the pin back into herself. She resisted the urge to shout as it pierced her abdomen and instead used the moment to her advantage. 

Ava knocked her head back, breaking the man’s nose and forcing him to release her. As fast as she could, Ava pulled the hairpin from her stomach and drove it through the man’s neck. He died a minute later, a horrible choking gurgle. Carefully, she wiped the accessory clean and pinned back her hair, ignoring the pain that bit through her. 

Sirens, which had once been a tiny noise on the horizon, now cut through the air. Beatrice released her grip on the hitman and ran to Ava, grabbing her hand. 

“We need to go.” She urged, leading Ava into a narrow maze of alleyways. MI6 would likely cover up the crime, but it was still better that they weren’t found here. Ava followed in breathless silence, with a firm hand pressed to her abdomen. 

Once they were certain that they were in the clear, they slowed to a walk. Beatrice’s flat was only a few blocks away. 

“We’ll have to call this in, once we get back.” Beatrice mumbled under her breath, her thoughts already flying to the mountain of paperwork they would likely have to do. At the very least, she could work on it with Ava. 

Without warning, Ava stumbled, fiercely catching Beatrice’s arm to steady herself. “Ava? Are you alright?” Beatrice turned, reaching to steady Ava with her free hand. 

“I’m sorry…” Ava whispered, her face paler than it had been. “I ruined your sweater…” She pulled her hand away from her wound, a slick crimson under the streetlights. The sight of it made Beatrice’s blood turn to ice.


	6. Deflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice helps Ava in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sad and nothing matters. heres some garbage i dont fucking know

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Beatrice asked as she retrieved her first aid kit from the cabinet. Her frustration was evident. 

“It’s not that bad…” Ava whispered from the couch. Beatrice crossed the room and knelt beside her. 

“Ava…” Beatrice sighed. “May I?” She grasped the edge of the sweater nervously in her fingertips. 

“Yes.” Ava mumbled, removing her stained hand from the wound. Carefully, Beatrice rolled up her shirt, revealing Ava’s taut stomach. “See?” Ava said weakly, looking down at the injury with a small smile. “I told you it wasn’t that bad…” 

“I’m not sure if I agree.” Beatrice pressed a gauze pad to the wound. Despite the gravity of the situation, it was hard to stay focused with Ava’s midriff exposed. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava breathed after a few seconds of silence between them. 

“Why?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow while she worked. Ava had apologised before, but in honesty, Beatrice had barely heard it over the rushing of blood in her ears. 

“I ruined your sweater.” Ava seemed genuinely sad, moreso about that then the stab wound.

“Jumpers are replaceable.” Beatrice removed the gauze and sanitised the wound. “You’re not.” 

Beatrice’s fingers grazed Ava’s warm skin, making her shiver. “Sorry, are my hands cold?” 

“No.” Ava replied carefully. She couldn’t explain what she felt, but it was far from cold. Without another word, Beatrice delicately stitched the wound shut. It only needed a few sutures, thankfully. During training, she learned a lot about first aid - though she would have preferred to use the knowledge less often. 

“I’m done.” Beatrice finally spoke as she cut the string that held the wound closed. The other scars that littered Ava’s torso hadn’t escaped her notice, but chose not to comment on them. For the time being, anyhow. 

“Thank you.” Ava sat up with the tiniest of winces. 

“You’re welcome.” Beatrice felt numb. It was unlike her to be so fearful and worried over another agent. Of course, Ava wasn’t  _ just _ another agent. “I’m going to call Shannon. Do you need anything?” 

“No. I’m good. Thank you.” 

“Stay still. Please.” Beatrice instructed before walking back into the kitchen. She lifted the phone from the receiver and spun in Shannon’s home phone number. 

“Hello?” Shannon answered on the second ring. 

“It’s me.” 

“What happened?” Shannon’s tone immediately betrayed her worry. She knew Beatrice wouldn’t have called this late for a chat. 

“We were ambushed on our way home from dinner.” Beatrice dug through the cabinet beside her while she explained. “Soviet team. Highly trained.” 

“Team?” 

“Six of them, yes.” 

“ _ Christ,  _ it’s amazing you two made it out alive.” Shannon was clearly impressed, but apprehensive. This wasn’t a good sign. 

“We don’t normally see teams like this in the city…” Beatrice muttered as she withdrew a bottle of painkillers from the cabinet. Ava hadn’t said anything, but Beatrice knew an injury like that wasn’t painless. 

“No, we certainly don’t.” Shannon paused for a moment, in thought. “Stay inside for the rest of tonight and tomorrow. I’ll send a few operatives out to keep an eye on your neighbourhood. You two should be brushing up on your German anyhow.” 

“There’s one more thing…” 

“There always is, huh?” 

“Ava got stabbed.” Beatrice’s tone was icy. 

“She  _ what?!”  _ Shannon shouted, making Beatrice flinch. “Why didn’t you lead with that? Is she alright?!” 

“She’s fine.” Beatrice was more than relieved to report that. “It wasn’t too terrible of a wound. With a couple of stitches and a few days of rest, she should be ready for our mission. Provided, of course, that we aren’t attacked again.” 

“I’ll make sure you aren’t.” Shannon was determined. It was one of her greatest assets and one of the traits that made her stand out in the agency. “I couldn’t stand to lose you. Irrespective of our friendship, you’re one of my best agents. I know Mary would say the same of Ava.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice’s cheeks burned slightly at the compliment. “We’ll stay inside until you give us the all clear.” The thought made Beatrice feel woozy. Could she handle being trapped inside with Ava for an entire day? Especially after seeing her…

“Glad to hear it.” Shannon interrupted Beatrice’s trainwreck of intrusive thoughts. “Hopefully, you two won’t need to stay locked up forever.” 

“Hopefully…”

“Alright, I need to go make several calls. Stay safe.” 

“Will do.” The line went dead. Beatrice hung up the phone and took a deep breath to calm her fraying nerves. It didn’t help. She filled a glass with water and took the painkillers back into the living room. Ava was still on the couch, her gaze firmly fixed out the window, with a faraway look in her eyes. It was becoming a familiar expression to Beatrice and one that filled her with a burning curiosity. 

“I brought these in for you.” Beatrice murmured, hating to interrupt Ava’s thoughts. 

“Oh.” Ava turned around to face Beatrice. “Thank you. Again.” 

“You’re welcome.” She sat down, across from Ava. Maybe the coffee table between them could provide mental distance, as well as physical. Beatrice could feel herself growing more distracted by the minute. 

“What did Shannon say?” Ava asked once she had swallowed two pills. 

“To stay inside until she can ensure our safety.” Beatrice summarised. 

“It’s unusual to get ambushed like that in the city, isn’t it?” Ava wondered, though she knew the answer. “We might have found something in Paris that was more serious than we realised. 

“I came to the same conclusion, as did Shannon.” Beatrice watched Ava carefully across the table. “Between the ferry and the attack tonight… That’s a lot of hitmen.” 

“The ones we fought tonight were better trained than the ones on the ferry.” 

“Agreed.” While Beatrice was less injured than Ava, the myriad of painful bruises on her body were impossible to ignore. 

“We really have to stay inside?” 

“Yes. There will be a few operatives watching the flat. Just in case.” Beatrice added quietly. “Shannon wants us to brush up on our German while we are cooped up.” 

“Klingt lustig.” Ava replied with a smile.

“Ihre aussprache braucht arbeit.” Beatrice retorted, matching Ava’s easy smile for once. 

“Hey!” Ava feigned offense. “My pronunciation is immaculate.” 

“I can see why Shannon told us to practice.” Beatrice giggled. Her worry seemed to dissolve when she joked around with Ava. It made her feel lighter, in a foreign way, a way she’d never experienced. 

“We should be working on our fighting. My showing tonight was pathetic.” Ava grumbled, the grin falling from her face in an instant. 

“Why do you say that?” 

“I got stabbed with my own weapon. Embarrassing.” Ava looked down. 

“You fought off three well-armed and well-trained men. Without a gun. Each of whom had  _ at least  _ six inches and four stone over you.” 

“You didn’t get stabbed.” Ava countered.

“No… Though I did get tossed into a car rather painfully.” She shifted uncomfortably, unable to tell Ava  _ why  _ she got hurt. 

“Are you okay?” Her concern was palpable.

“Yes.” Beatrice was no stranger to injury. 

“I was checking to see if you were alright.” Ava mumbled, almost inaudible, after a few seconds of silence between them. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I was doing alright, in the fight, I mean.” Ava stumbled over her words, she had grown nervous in the last minute. “I looked to see if you were alright and he used the momentary distraction to turn my attack around on me.” 

“Oh…” Beatrice’s heart began to race. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to -”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Ava held up a hand. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I’ve never worked with a partner before, I supposed there would be some growing… Pains.” 

“Funny…” Beatrice looked at the table, then back up at Ava’s dark eyes. “I faltered too. For the same reason.” 

“Really?” Now it was Ava’s turn to feel flustered. 

“Yes.”

“Maybe we both need a little bit more time to get used to each other.” Ava’s smile returned.

“Maybe…” Beatrice didn’t know if she could handle it, yet there was nothing she wanted more. Her thoughts were almost as distracting as Ava herself. 

“I’m sorry again.” Ava said, as she looked at the bloody hole in Beatrice’s sweater. “Once we are allowed to leave again, perhaps I can pick up a few pieces of clothing? It’s only going to be colder in Germany.” 

“It’s alright, again.” Beatrice exhaled as she considered her next sentence. “I still don’t mind letting you borrow anything you’d like. Honestly.” 

Ava leaned back and regarded Beatrice carefully. “You are a kind person, more than most, especially in our line of work.” 

“Am I?” Beatrice was genuinely curious, she never thought of herself as particularly nice, nor particularly mean. Just average. Of course, Ava’s perception was drastically different. 

“I think so.” Ava shrugged, though the sudden movement made her wince.

The phone rang, interrupting their conversation. Beatrice rose with an apologetic look.

“Hello?” She was all but certain it was Shannon. 

“Hi, it’s me.” Shannon muttered. “You’re in the clear with the police, don’t worry, neither of you will be wanted murderers.” 

“That’s good to hear.” 

“Stabbing or not, I’m pretty impressed that you and Ava managed to take out six men on your own.” 

“Without our guns, no less.” Beatrice added, proud of Ava more than herself. Ava’s unpredictable attack had provided enough distraction for Beatrice to even the odds a bit. 

“I think Mary and I made a good call teaming you two up.” Shannon told her. Beatrice thought about what Ava told her, but didn’t comment. “Anyway, I’m looking into any remaining threats. I just thought you would appreciate the update.” 

“I do. Thank you.” 

Beatrice returned to the living room to give Ava the good news. “Shannon cleared everything up with the police.” 

“That’s good.” Ava replied, still a world away in her thoughts. Beatrice thought she looked more tired than she had a few minutes ago. 

“Did you kill all three?” Beatrice hated to ask, but she couldn’t keep the words from her mouth. 

“No.” Ava continued to look out the window, but Beatrice watched her face in the dark reflection. “Just the one who stabbed me.” 

“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“We do what we have to do.” Ava stood, slightly unsteady, and Beatrice stepped forward to help. “It’s part of the job, right?” 

“I suppose… Do you need help?” 

“No. I’m alright.” Ava whispered as she stepped closer to Beatrice. “I feel like I owe you a million more thank you’s and a million more apologies.” Her smile returned, though Beatrice knew it was only a mask this time - far from genuine. 

“You don’t owe me anything except rest.” Beatrice told her firmly. 

“You’d do well to take your own advice.” 

“I intend to.” Beatrice retorted. Though, in truth, she wasn’t sure how she would be able to sleep. Exhaustion hung on her like an anchor, but her mind crackled with electricity. Between thoughts of Ava and adrenaline from the attack, her thoughts raced. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Ava walked towards Beatrice’s guest room, but stopped in the doorway. “Sorry and thank you.” 

“Enough!” Beatrice chuckled as she shut the door. It was a false laugh, but it was better than nothing. Right? 

Ava tenderly changed into her pajamas. She took a moment to examine her new wound, a fresh injury amongst a myriad of scars. Beatrice’s stitch work was unsurprisingly immaculate. At the memory of her touch, Ava shivered once more. She shook her head and climbed gently into bed. This was the last thing she should be thinking about. Simultaneously, Ava knew she wouldn’t be able to resist the distraction forever.

Just as she had the night prior, and most nights, Ava woke up from a nightmare. Sweat clung to her shirt and her chest shook with ragged breaths. The door creaked open, painting a narrow swath of light across the floor. Ava’s first reaction was to push herself against the headboard and brace herself for a fight. She wasn’t entirely cognizant of her surroundings - her mind was still half trapped in a nightmare. 

“Ava? Are you okay?” Beatrice’s calm whisper tempered Ava’s frantic panic. 

“Beatrice?” Ava rubbed her eyes as she tried to separate reality from the terrifying fiction. “Did I wake you?” 

“No.” Beatrice half-lied. She had been tossing and turning most of the night, though she had been partially asleep when she heard Ava’s shout. On this occasion, she couldn’t resist checking in. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava mumbled, despite Beatrice’s answer. 

“No more apologies.” Beatrice stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. With slow, deliberate movements, she sat on the edge of the bed. Her silhouette was dimly illuminated from the streetlamp outside. “What’s wrong?” 

“I was just…” Ava was going to make a joke, but couldn’t quite muster it. “I was having a nightmare.” 

“Same as last night?” 

“You heard that too?” Ava’s cheeks burning in embarrassment, thankfully invisible in the dark. “I will have to add that to the list of apologies I owe you.” 

“Your humorous deflections are frustrating sometimes.” Beatrice muttered nervously. Ava didn’t answer immediately, but she knew Beatrice was right. 

Even with the dark distance between them, Ava could feel Beatrice’s tension. “Lay down. Beside me.” Ava requested gently, breaking the silence that had settled around them. 

“I… Okay.” Beatrice hesitantly agreed, carefully climbing into bed. She left a few inches of space between herself and Ava, yet the closeness was still intoxicating. 

“I really am sorry for waking you.” Ava breathed, so quietly Beatrice had to strain to hear her. “And I’m sorry for the deflection.” 

“Why do you do it?” 

“I don’t know. It’s been a habit as long as I can remember.” Ava sighed. “I thought, and I was mostly right, that people don’t actually  _ care. _ No one really wants the answers to the questions they ask - so why provide them? It’s easier and more charming to throw some funny platitude out into conversation.” 

“I actually want the answers to the questions I ask.” Beatrice reported. 

“You’re not like most people.” 

“I could say the same to you.” 

“Do you regret agreeing to Shannon’s proposition?” Ava asked.

“What?” Beatrice could barely believe the question. “No.” 

“Even though I am a frustrating person to deal with?” 

“I don’t think you’re frustrating in the slightest.” Beatrice answered. Under the heavy layers of blanket, Ava found Beatrice’s hand and took it in her own. The darkness had emboldened them both, but only just. 

“You’ll have to tell Mary that when you meet her.” Ava retorted, only to drop her voice to a guilty murmur. “Sorry. That was another deflection.” 

“What were you dreaming about?” Beatrice inquired, her curiosity only driven on by Ava’s warm hand in her own.

“It’s not always the same, though there are a few moments that seem to occur more regularly. There was an incident several months ago, an operation gone wrong in Saigon.” Ava’s heart pounded as she thought of it.

Able to sense her discomfort, Beatrice turned onto her side and wrapped an arm around Ava. Their faces, still cloaked in darkness, were barely separated. 

“Is that where your other scars are from?” 

“Some of them.” Ava shuddered, though she was beyond grateful for Beatrice’s closeness. “It’s weird…” 

“What is?” Sometimes, at least to Beatrice, Ava’s thoughts were oddly fragmented. 

“Normally, it takes at least an hour before I can calm down enough to even think - let alone talk.” 

“Oh?”

“Yet, it's been only a few minutes with you, and here I am.” Ava smirked slightly. “Stringing together full sentences.” 

“I’m happy I could be here.” Beatrice replied genuinely. Being this close to Ava felt holy. It felt like a blessing. 

They fell asleep like that, tangled up together, until late the next morning.


	7. A Lucky Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice are stuck in the flat together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk :(

The shrill, ringing phone woke Beatrice with a start. Gently, she slid from the bed, careful not to disturb Ava. She shivered as the cold floor met her feet, but hurried across the apartment anyhow. 

“Hello?” Beatrice answered the phone on the last ring, her voice thick with sleep. A quick look at the clock confirmed it was past nine, later than she’d slept in… Years, probably. 

“Beatrice,  _ Jesus,  _ I was getting worried.” Shannon sounded understandably exasperated. “I’ve called four times now.”

“Sorry. I was asleep.” 

“Really?” 

“It was a late night.” Beatrice supplied a shadow of an answer, hoping that Shannon wouldn’t pry. Thankfully, she didn’t. 

“Lilith is coordinating a team right now and looking for other Soviet operatives in the city, but she hasn’t had much luck thus far.” Shannon offered a grim report. 

“Do you really think they have the manpower to spare right now?” Beatrice wondered as her mind slowly woke up. “Realistically, how many trained men are the Soviets going to send after us?” 

“At least ten, it seems.” Shannon’s worry was clear. “I have a team working around the clock to decode the data you acquired in Paris. So far, no cracks.” 

“It must be important.” Beatrice mumbled quietly. 

“Evidently.” A heavy sigh was audible through the line. “Stay put today. I’ll call with any updates, alright?” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Shannon answered before hanging up. 

Beatrice hung the phone back on the receiver and rubbed her eyes. Not only had she slept later than normal, but she felt surprisingly well rested. Hopefully Ava felt the same. As silently as possible, Beatrice put on the kettle. While the water heated up on the stove, a bedraggled Ava appeared in the doorway. 

“Guten morgen.” Ava muttered as she joined Beatrice in the kitchen. 

“Good morning.” Beatrice answered, pouring Ava a cup of coffee and a cup of tea for herself.

“Thank you.” Ava whispered. “And sorry, too.” The bags that hung under her eyes were less dark today than they were yesterday. 

“Why?” 

“I…” She seemed more bashful than usual, or at least, what Beatrice thought was usual. “I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep.” 

“Actually, I slept quite well.” Beatrice sat across from Ava at the table. 

“Really?” Ava raised an eyebrow curiously. 

“Yes? Why would I lie?” 

“Maybe you’ve been lying this whole time and you’re actually a Soviet operative!” Ava retorted, though the smile on her face gave away the jest.

“Ty poymal menya.” Beatrice chuckled, holding her hands up in feigned surrender. 

“I knew it.” Ava grinned and took a sip of coffee. “What did Shannon say? On the phone?”

“Nothing positive. Lilith’s team hasn’t found any more Soviet cells waiting to kill us, at least not yet. Plus the analysts haven’t decoded the data we acquired in Paris.” 

“That is unfortunate.” Ava mumbled, looking out the window as she spoke. It was a typical winter day in London. Grey, rainy, and cold. “We should have picked up a board game or something.” 

“We’re meant to be practicing our German today…” Beatrice mumbled, though she was far from excited about the prospect. “We’re leaving in four days.” 

“You want to practice German all day? With me?” Ava’s disbelief was obvious. “ _ All day? _ ” 

“I mean…” Beatrice knew that an entire day of study might be extraneous. “I have a deck of cards.” 

“Now you’re talking.” Ava’s light laugh filled the room. It set Beatrice’s heart ablaze. 

“But we have to practice at least a bit.” 

“Fine, fine.” 

A few minutes later, Beatrice stood over the stove, preparing breakfast for the both of them. “Can I help? Please?” Ava felt useless, helpless. 

“Ava, you got stabbed yesterday. Just sit, alright?” 

“It’s not that bad!” Ava stood suddenly, though the movement made her wince.

“You’re only proving my point.” Beatrice muttered, barely taking her eyes from the pan.

Defeated, Ava sat back down. “Why did you come in last night? Really.” She asked suddenly, catching Beatrice off guard completely - a rare feat. 

“I was worried you were in trouble.” It was a half truth at best, but Beatrice didn’t know if she had an honest answer. At least, she didn’t have an honest answer that she was willing to consciously acknowledge. 

“In trouble as in…?” Ava was stubborn in her pursuit of an answer.

“As in…” Beatrice echoed carefully. “Maybe someone had broken in.” 

“There’s eight locks on the door.” Ava gestured to them, ugly metal metal blocks on her wooden door. “I think you’re lying.” Of course, Ava  _ knew  _ Beatrice was lying. 

“I suppose I am.” She set a plate of food in front of Ava.

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Beatrice rejoined her at the table with a second plate in hand. “I was worried about you. I just… I wanted to help.” She admitted quietly.

“You did.” Ava whispered with her gaze fixed on the tabletop. They ate in silence after that, but Ava didn’t miss the tiny smile that played across Beatrice’s lips.

Right as they finished breakfast, the phone rang. Ava reached for it with a mischievous look, before Beatrice had a chance.

“Hello? Who is this?” Ava answered in a surprisingly apt mockery of Beatrice’s accent.

“Ava?” Shannon wasn’t fooled, especially since Ava could barely contain her laughter. 

“You got me.” Ava tried to compose herself. “What’s the situation?” 

“Nothing too exciting, I’m afraid.” Shannon could sense Ava’s nervousness, despite the humour she tried to inject into the conversation. “An operative will drop off a briefing for the both of you soon. Other than that, sit tight. Practice your German. I’ll let you know if Lilith turns up anything or we have a break in the code.” 

“Sit tight. Not the most exciting of directives, but you got it boss.” 

“I’m serious. You’re both too valuable to lose.” 

“Alright, alright.” Ava acquiesced. 

“Speaking of which, how’s your stab wound?” Shannon asked, hoping for an honest answer. 

“It’s fine.” Though the pain was ever-present, it was bearable. For Ava, at least, though her training had skewed her perception of pain - just it had for Beatrice. “Should be fine in a couple of days.” 

“That’s good, because we only have a couple of days.” Shannon sighed. This could be a stressful job at the best of times. “Stay safe, okay?” 

“We will.” Ava agreed, seriously, for once. Shannon hung up without any further pleasantries. “A briefing is coming our way, but no other updates.” She told Beatrice.

“That’s… Better than nothing.” Beatrice replied as she washed the dishes from breakfast in the sink. 

Following breakfast, the pair sat in the living room, conversing in German. Despite each woman’s curiosity about the other, they kept the conversation light. Pronunciation and word selection was the prime focus, they needed to fit in. After two hours of this, Ava grew restless.

“Can we take a break now? Or be done with this for the day?” She asked, sinking into the couch. A half night of good sleep was not enough to fully alleviate her seemingly chronic exhaustion. 

With a surprisingly devilish and confident grin, Beatrice held up the deck of cards. “Fancy a hand?” 

“What’s your game?” Ava perked up, excited at the prospect. 

“Gin rummy.” Beatrice replied, already shuffling the cards with a deft hand. 

“If I win, can I ask you a question?” 

Beatrice paused, watching Ava carefully. Her confidence seemed to ebb and flow throughout the day. Most likely, Ava wasn’t used to spending this much time alone with someone, she couldn’t keep up the act indefinitely. 

“ _ When  _ I win, may I ask you one?” She replied. Beatrice couldn’t help but respond to Ava’s confidence, it was infectious. 

“You talk a big game.” Ava grinned while Beatrice dealt out the cards. 

“I’m pretty good.” Beatrice was being modest. 

“I’d hope so. You must do something to occupy your time, especially since you don’t have a TV.” Ava teased from behind her cards. 

“Americans are so obsessed with television.” Beatrice returned the taunt with a smile. Granted, she had considered purchasing a television set, though she wasn’t going to give Ava the satisfaction of admitting it.

A fast-paced game followed and the jests quickly dropped away. Unlike the tense air that enveloped their prior time together, the new tension was more playful. Competitive, even.

“Told you.” Beatrice whispered several moments later, as she laid down her cards. She’d won, of course, though not by the margin she might have hoped. 

“That you did.” Ava didn’t seem particularly upset. “What’s your question?” 

“What happened in Saigon?” Beatrice asked before she could stop herself. The conversation from last night was still fresh in her mind. 

“I was there tracking a Soviet team, a contingent from a larger group. Alone, since it would be harder to detect a single person than a full military outfit.” Ava began her explanation and Beatrice clung onto every word. 

“The war there… Well, I’m sure you know how complicated it is.” Ava continued and Beatrice gave her a quick nod. “I had only just gotten to South Vietnam a day prior and was instructed to work my way north. There was a building on the edge of the city, that a group of locals told me was being used by the Russians.” 

“Oh no…” Beatrice hated where this story was going, despite her painful curiosity about Ava.

“It was a trap. I walked right into it… Like a  _ fucking  _ idiot.” There was a contempt in Ava’s voice that Beatrice had never heard. 

“Ava…” 

“The building exploded. Four civilians were killed. People who had nothing to do with this conflict, with no allegiances to spare either way.” A tear fell onto the table. 

“I’m sorry…” Beatrice didn’t know what else to say. Ava’s sudden honesty, and the brutality of the story, was shocking. 

“I was stuck in the rubble for more than a day.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I wept the entire time. Not for myself, but…” Ava didn’t finish her sentence.

“Hey, hey.” Beatrice rose from her chair and joined Ava on the couch. “Next time I ask a question this upsetting, just tell me to shut up, okay?” 

“No, it’s okay.” Ava wiped her eyes. “It’s weird, I don’t know… I’ve never really talked about it before, but for some reason, I want you to know.” 

“Really?” Beatrice was surprised, but felt the same way. Ava’s reciprocation was what surprised her. 

“Is that so shocking?” Ava answered Beatrice’s question with a question. “You’re an easy person to talk to.” 

“Most people wouldn’t agree with you on that one.” She considered taking Ava’s hand in her own, like they had last night, but she moved back to her chair instead. 

“Maybe I just know the  _ real  _ Beatrice.” Ava countered with a smile. 

“Maybe…” Beatrice tepidly agreed, trying not to show Ava just how right she was. A few days with Ava and Beatrice had already revealed more than she had to anyone else.

“Another game?” Ava mumbled, clearly wanting to change the subject. 

“Sure.” Beatrice quickly shuffled the cards. Ava watched her hands carefully, almost transfixed by the deft movements of Beatrice’s capable hands. She wanted to reach out and hold one. A moment later, the spell was broken, as Beatrice dealt out the requisite ten cards. The second game stretched longer than the first, though the pace wasn’t much slower. Beatrice won again, by a narrow margin.

“Damn.” Ava playfully tossed her cards down. “You are good.” 

“I only barely won that time.” Beatrice countered, impressed with Ava’s skill. 

“Do you have another question? Fair’s fair.” 

“Hmm…” Beatrice thought for a moment. She didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to get to know Ava more, but at the same time, she wanted to ask something less dark. “What’s your favourite part about the job?” 

“Other than the lovely time I’ve gotten to spend with you?” 

“Be serious.” Beatrice’s blush betrayed her. 

“I am.” Ava grinned, but continued. “I like the freedom. There aren’t many jobs that would take you to as many places as I’ve been - even less for women.”

“I agree.” Beatrice whispered.

A folder slid under the crack in the door and Beatrice rose to retrieve it. She brought it back to the table a moment later. On the front, the iconic MI6 insignia and a confidential stamp. With delicate movements, Beatrice ripped through the tape that held the bundle shut. Thankfully, Shannon had included two copies of the briefing. She silently passed one of the packets to Ava. 

“We’re meant to be students?” Ava mumbled, long after the quiet had settled around them. 

“British students.” Beatrice clarified.

“Oh great.” Ava shook her head. “I’ll either get to speak German or in an accent. How  _ fun. _ ” 

“It’s funny how that’s the element of this briefing you’re focused on…”

“Why, what are you worried about?” Ava wondered, so genuinely, that Beatrice stared at her for a minute without comment. Was Ava insane?

“We’re meant to sneak across the inner German border, meet a contact for intel, and then sneak back across it in the same evening.” 

“Yes?” 

“Does that not worry you?” Beatrice wasn’t necessarily stressed, but it wouldn’t be an easy mission. If another Soviet team showed up while they were there, though…

“It doesn’t  _ not  _ worry me.” Ava’s voice softened. She could sense Beatrice’s nerves. “But the plan is outlined quite thoroughly.” She flipped through the pages. “Call me crazy, but I trust you. I’m not anticipating any problems.” 

“I trust you too.” Beatrice replied, in disbelief at her own words. “Have you memorised the details?” 

“Yes.” Ava handed her the second packet knowingly. Without another comment, Beatrice strode into the kitchen and turned on the stove. She stuck the packet into the flame, before tossing it into the oven. A minute later, their confidential information was reduced to ashes, rendered useless. 

“Another cup of coffee?” Beatrice asked, as if she hadn’t just burned a record of state secrets and espionage. 

“Please and thank you.” Ava answered, following Beatrice into the kitchen with a slight wince. 

“You should let me look at that wound afterwards.” Beatrice muttered as she put the kettle on. 

“It’s fine, really.” 

“I think I’d feel better with a second opinion. Especially knowing the danger we’re exposed to nearly constantly…” Beatrice’s worry for Ava surprised her, more than it should.

“Okay, alright.” Ava agreed, if only to keep Beatrice from fussing. Yet simultaneously, she appreciated the care. It was a rarity in her life, especially since she spent most missions alone in a foreign country. Being with someone, even in a strange predicament such as this, was nice. Comforting. 

“Thank you.” Beatrice sighed, before passing Ava a mug.

“Thank you!” She retorted, grateful for the warm caffeine. The radiator had been running all day, but the damp London cold seemed to soak through the walls regardless. Ava feared she might never be warm again. 

“I’m placing a one hour moratorium on saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry.’” Beatrice joked as she sat down.

“Well, what am I supposed to say then?” Ava grinned. Beatrice watched her, Ava’s gentle levity made her angry. Not at Ava, necessarily, but at the hardships Ava had been through. It was painfully unfair, that such a light person would be made to suffer so brutally. 

“We could sit in silence by the phone and wait for Shannon to call.” Beatrice suggested in jest, careful to keep her thoughts and expressions as shielded as possible. 

“I’d rather get stabbed again, actually.” Ava retorted, earning a frustrated look from Beatrice. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Beatrice told her.

“You’re certainly not the first person who’s told me that…” Ava mused as she looked out the dreary window. Her focus drifted elsewhere, fried after a tiring morning. 

“I can see why.” Beatrice replied gently.

A few moments of silence passed before Ava asked a question. “Do you think we’re friends?” 

“Friends?” Beatrice repeated, feeling caught off guard by Ava  _ again.  _

“As in, if we weren’t forced together by circumstance, would you want to spend time with me?” Ava expanded on her question slightly.

“I don’t know…” Beatrice whispered, though her mind was screaming  _ yes. _ “What do you think?” 

“Well, I was going to say yes, but now I feel awkward.” Ava smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes. It was false, hollow. 

“Ava, I -” Beatrice began, trying to explain the force that kept her from being honest, kept her from telling Ava how she truly felt. The incessant ringing of the phone interrupted her explanation. Maybe, at least Beatrice thought, for the best.

“Hello?” Beatrice whispered into the receiver, nervously wrapping the cord around her fingers. A fidgeting that Ava didn’t miss.

“It’s me again.” Shannon said, sounding decidedly happier this time. “We managed to track down a few operatives in the city, so make sure you thank Lilith next time you see her.” 

“I’ll be sure to do so.” Beatrice’s answer was sardonic, but not unwarranted. She and Lilith had butted heads on numerous occasions. 

“Just in case, try to keep inside the rest of the day and tonight. We are conducting a few more sweeps, to be safe.” Shannon explained, ignoring Beatrice’s jab at Lilith.

“Alright.” 

“But tomorrow, I expect to see both of you in my office.” She continued. “Preferably intact, with well-practiced language skills.” 

“I’ll see to it.” Beatrice didn’t know why she was being so cold to Shannon, when her frustration was only with herself. 

“Thank you.” Shannon’s smile was audible in her voice. “And thanks for not letting Ava die last night. I wouldn’t have heard the end of it from Mary.” 

“I didn’t do much.” Beatrice mumbled. She felt dishonest, she would have done nearly anything for the woman that sat across from her. “But you’re welcome.” 

She hung up a moment later. “What’s happening?” Ava asked, with her earlier question put out of mind. 

“We should be free tomorrow.” Beatrice summarised. “Lilith’s team found a contingent of Russian operatives in the city, but managed to flush them out. Shannon advised us to stay in tonight - as a precaution. But we are expected in the office tomorrow.” 

“Yes!” Ava jumped from her chair in juvenile celebration, only to press a hand to her wound a moment later. 

“Let me look at it now. Please.” Beatrice gestured towards the couch and Ava followed without a word. Beatrice retrieved the first aid kit and met her in the living room, trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible. 

Slowly, Ava rolled up her sweater, without meeting Beatrice’s sharp gaze. Thankfully, she hadn’t ripped out any stitches, but the wound was angry and red. Wild, purple bruises had settled around it - the injury looked almost otherworldly. Beatrice knelt beside her, exceedingly careful in her movements. She couldn’t help but notice Ava’s other scars, particularly a long one that sank beneath her waistband. Before Beatrice could stop herself, she ran a delicate thumb over the scar, making Ava shiver.

“Sorry…” Beatrice mumbled, withdrawing her hand nearly at once, as she wondered what had come over her. She rubbed her hands together, as if to warm them, a fiction they both participated in. By force, Beatrice readjusted her focus and cleaned Ava’s current wound. “It’s a small miracle this didn’t get infected…” She whispered, wondering when Ava had last disinfected her hairpin. 

“Especially since I stabbed him with it before he stabbed me.” Ava breathed.

“You  _ what? _ ” 

“I stabbed him, then he stabbed me.” Ava explained, surprisingly nonchalant beneath her racing thoughts. “Then I stabbed him again.” 

“ _ Christ. _ ” Beatrice continued to work. “You’re a lucky woman.” 

“In more ways than one.” Ava retorted in an unreadable tone, leaving Beatrice to guess what she meant.


	8. Strangely Competitive and Oddly Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice make their journey north.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like, my stories arent good, but i update daily so.... does that make up for it??? idk

Shannon saw them off at the train platform. Ava wore one of Beatrice’s scarves over her hair, while Beatrice hid beneath a hat and a pair of round glasses. 

“It’s nice to see you both alive.” Shannon told them, giving each woman a surprisingly warm hug. 

“Let’s hope it stays that way.” Beatrice replied, aware of the operatives that were stationed around the platform.  _ Just in case.  _

“Here.” Shannon handed Beatrice an envelop of German marks. 

“Thank you.” Beatrice mumbled, tucking the packet away in the pocket of her jacket. The oppressively loud train was approaching, marking their departure time. 

“Good luck.” Shannon told them over the din. “And Ava?” 

“Yes?” 

“Mary and Camila should be here when you get back, so try not to get stabbed again.” 

“Really?” Ava’s face lit up, in a happy, juvenile way - which Beatrice admired greatly. 

“Really.” Shannon grinned, before giving them a quick wave and disappearing into the crowd. 

“Are you ready?” Beatrice asked, as she and Ava walked towards the idling locomotive. In truth, she was more so asking herself. It would be a long day confined in a small space, a more terrifying prospect than the Soviet hitmen.

“Are you?” Ava seemed to sense her nervousness and carefully took Beatrice’s hand in their own as they climbed aboard the carriage. 

“Tickets?” The attendant at the door asked. With a grin, Ava produced them. “First class is towards the end of the train.” He pointed. “And might I say, what a lovely couple you two make.” 

Before he realised that Beatrice was, in fact, a woman, Ava pulled her aboard and into the narrow passageway. Her hysterical laughter filled the space, making Beatrice feel slightly less on edge. 

“He thought you were a  _ boy. _ ” Ava managed, through giggles.

“I realise that.” Beatrice answered coolly, unsure if Ava was teasing or not. 

“What an idiot…” She whispered while sliding open the door to their cabin. “I’ve never seen a man as beautiful as you.” Ava added in a tiny voice, making Beatrice’s cheeks burn.

She sat across from Ava, as close to the window as possible. A few minutes later, the train began to move again, a soft rumbling beneath their feet. 

“This feels familiar, doesn’t it?” Ava wondered quietly.

“It does.” 

“It’s been a crazy few days…” Ava continued, before leaning back against the bench seat and closing her eyes. 

And indeed, it had been a crazy few days. Somehow, though they always started in separate rooms, Beatrice ended up in Ava’s bed by morning. Strictly in a platonic manner, of course, but their continued nights of surprisingly good sleep were more than welcome. Even in the office, the pair were nearly inseparable, through bleary early morning briefings and late afternoon security meetings. Thankfully, Beatrice removed Ava’s stitches the night prior. While she was far from healed, she was in a lot less pain.

“Do you remember when you asked if I considered us friends?” Beatrice inquired after several quiet minutes between them. Ava opened her eyes and regarded Beatrice for a careful moment before answering.

“Of course.” 

“I do. Consider us friends, I mean.” 

“I know.” Ava’s wide grin was almost teasing. Beatrice wasn’t sure whether she wanted to throttle Ava or hug her. Maybe both. 

“You’re frustrating.” Beatrice muttered as she slipped off her coat. Beneath it, she wore a simple black shirt, of which she rolled up her sleeves. “I might have to take it back, now.”

“No!” Ava protested, largely joking, but her gaze was fixed on Beatrice’s newly exposed forearms. “That’s not fair.” 

“I suppose you’ll have to find a new husband.” Beatrice shrugged, setting her hat on the seat beside her. A single loose strand of black hair hung in front of her face. 

“Well, now that’s just cruel.” Ava chuckled, while Beatrice smiled. Ava made it easier for her to forget her fears in the oppressive train cabin.

Another hour had elapsed before they disembarked to board the ferry. Beatrice was grateful to be off the train, though there was another waiting on the other side of the Channel. Upon climbing aboard the ship, it was her turn to send Ava’s discomfort. With as much confidence as Beatrice could muster, she took Ava’s hand, leading her to the secluded back deck of the ship.

“We could go inside, if you like?” Beatrice offered once the ship had unmoored and begun to work through the icy waters. The cabin was heated, and away from the water, but enclosed in a way that made Beatrice sick. 

“No, that’s alright.” Ava’s hands were wrapped around the railing with a surprising fortitude, but she wouldn’t dare to make Beatrice uncomfortable. “The fresh air is nice.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Do you think we’ll be attacked again? On the way?” Ava asked suddenly, with a furtive glance around the empty deck.

“It would be naïve to dismiss the possibility.” Beatrice replied as she watched England’s coastline shrink before her. “But I would hope not. You’re not fully healed.” 

“Neither are you.” Ava retorted. Beatrice sported a sizable collection of bruises from their last altercation.

“Fair point.” Beatrice conceded. While she was lucky enough to avoid getting stabbed, her shoulder blade ached from getting thrown against the car. 

“You have a scar.” Ava said, without warning, a moment later. “On the outside of your wrist.”

  
“I do.” Beatrice nodded, Ava had likely noticed it earlier on the train.

“What from?” The curiosity that burned inside Ava flared, as it so often did. 

“It was a botched training exercise.” Beatrice’s voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “A simulated capture.” 

“Oh.” Ava mumbled, her syllable getting lost in the wind that whipped around them. She wasn’t sure if she regretted asking or not. 

“I was locked in a crate, the training teams like to make situations as stressful as possible, to desensitise new recruits.” 

“It’s the same in the States.” Ava reported, remembering her own awful experiences. 

“I couldn’t keep calm, at all.” Beatrice seemed almost ashamed to admit it. “I was pounding my fists into the wooden - I must have caught my wrist on something…” She pulled up her sleeves and revealed the odd, curved scar. “To be honest, the memory is a bit of a haze.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologise.” Beatrice wore the faintest of smiles. “It’s kind of our thing, isn’t it? Asking curious questions, only to find that the answers are quite horrific.” 

“It definitely seems like it.” Ava matched Beatrice’s smile, though it felt false. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about that isn’t so dark?” 

Beatrice looked out at the water, deep in thought. Of course, focus didn’t come easily. It never did, around Ava. She was acutely aware of the woman beside her, whose thoughts seemed just as far away as her own, if not further. Their predicament was beyond strange, yet they both enjoyed the other’s company. As friends, of course. 

“We have a full day tomorrow, in the city.” Beatrice began cautiously, unsure of Ava’s reaction. “Before our evening… Rendezvous. Maybe we could do something… Fun?” 

“Fun?” Ava repeated, her expression brightening. “Who are you and what have you done with Beatrice? Miss,  _ let’s just sit in silence,  _ Beatrice?” 

“Now I regret asking.” Beatrice told her in jest. 

Several seconds of silence passed before Ava spoke again. “I’d like that.” She was more serious, more nervous, than she had been moments ago. Beatrice thought it was odd, yet endearing, the way Ava seemed to slip through different moods like water. Her confidences were ever-changing. Was it her influence or was Ava always like this? Was she vain to even wonder? 

The rest of the ferry ride passed without consequence thankfully. Ava was more than happy to be back on solid ground in Calais, whereas Beatrice was less than thrilled. They climbed aboard another train, into a surprisingly large cabin at the back of the carriage. 

“Thank you again for letting me borrow your clothes.” Ava slid out of Beatrice’s jacket and hung it on the hook. 

“You’re welcome.” Beatrice replied, doing the same. She couldn’t bear to keep her coat on inside the carriage, though she knew it wasn’t particularly warm. 

“Have you been to West Berlin before?” Ava asked as the train began to chug.

“Yes.” Beatrice didn’t elaborate. “You?” 

“No, actually.” 

“I’m surprised.” Beatrice told her, raising an eyebrow. “You seem like you’ve been everywhere.” She wasn’t trying to be complimentary, her conversations with Ava had revealed her to be a well-travelled woman. 

“Everywhere except West Berlin, I suppose.” Ava laughed. “I’ve never been to East or West Germany, actually.” She fiddled mindlessly with the edge of her head scarf.

“Why are you still wearing that?” 

“It’s called a disguise, Beatrice.” Ava quipped with a grin. 

“I still recognise you.” Beatrice reported. Of course, she had studied Ava so thoroughly since their meeting, she’d likely recognise Ava from the way she walked, or a single glimpse of her hand.

“Well, I’m not trying to fool you.” Ava bit, though there wasn’t a hint of anger in her voice. “I know it’s a bit early for lunch, but do you want to go get a cup of coffee? Or tea?” 

“That would be nice.” Beatrice agreed, rising to meet Ava. “Remember, you’re meant to be English.”

“Blimey, can you believe it?” Ava replied in a perfect mockery of Beatrice’s accent, completely sarcastic. Beatrice only scowled as Ava opened the door.

Just as Ava slid the door open and popped her head out, she withdrew back into the cabin. With shocking speed she took Beatrice’s hand in her own. 

“Follow me.” Ava whispered, low and serious. Beatrice followed her into the corridor without a word. Behind them, she saw a pair of well-dressed men, crossing the gangway into their carriage. They might as well have been wearing shirts that said ‘Assassins.’

Beatrice struggled to breathe as Ava dragged her down the narrow hallway, though not due to the exertion of the ordeal. At the end of the corridor, Ava pulled Beatrice into a tiny storage nook.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Ava breathed, critically aware of Beatrice’s discomfort in the small space. The assassins’ footsteps grew louder and louder, until Ava jumped from her hiding spot. 

With the element of surprise, she managed to knock one of the men into the exterior door, busting it open. Cold wind filled the hall as snow blew in from the tiny, railed platform of the rear carriage. The assassin didn’t fall off, tragically, he managed to catch himself awkwardly on the icy railing. Ava used the opportunity wisely and leveled a kick across his face. Blood sprayed across the frozen metal.

Meanwhile, Beatrice traded blows with the other assassin. She was grateful to be out of the nook, though the narrow corridor wasn’t much of an improvement. Her assailant got a lucky strike, due to Beatrice’s distraction more than anything, and knocked her into a thankfully empty cabin. At least it was more spacious than the hallway. She recovered quickly and managed to return several strikes, breaking a few of the assassin’s ribs in the process. 

On the tiny metal platform, Ava was holding her own, despite the incessant pain in her side. She fought somewhat lopsided, trying to guard her wound. Between that, the movement of the train, and the freezing cold wind that buffeted her, she was having a hard time finishing this fight in a timely manner. Unfortunately, she caught an unlucky kick to the side, setting her wound ablaze. Ava stumbled backwards, back into the train. Her head slammed against the floor and her vision swam, while the assassin climbed on top of her. Ava panicked in her confusion, doubly so when he withdrew a precisely sharp blade from his jacket. 

In a reversal of momentum, Beatrice used the man’s attack against him, forcing him to smash a fist through the window. He shouted in pain, but Beatrice clamped a hand to his mouth and slammed his head into the wall. Couldn’t risk discovery in a state like this, right? The assassin collapsed in a heap on the floor. Beatrice turned then, only to realise Ava was in quite the predicament. 

Just as the man moved to slit Ava’s throat, Beatrice grabbed him by the collar, forcing him up. Ava stood a moment later, despite the spinning in her head. She slid past Beatrice, intent on finishing the fight for herself. A confident kick into his chest forced him back out the door and onto the icy metal platform. Ava didn’t allow him a moment to recover, instead whipping the scarf from her head and catching his neck with it.

He choked as she tightened her grip, before swinging his weakening form aside. On the slick ice, he slid to the ground. With a final push, Ava managed to knock him from the train entirely. He fell heavily into the snow, unmoving. The momentum of the toss threw her off balance too, though, and for a moment, Ava thought she would succumb to the same fate. 

A strong pair of hands caught her, righting Ava before she met a grisly end. Beatrice wrapped Ava tightly in her arms, shaking for fear of losing her friend. 

“Thank you.” Ava whispered from within the embrace. Beatrice released her then, as if coming to her senses. She cupped Ava’s cheek in one hand and held her shoulder with the other. 

“Are you alright?” Beatrice asked, her breath heavy from the exertion and her proximity to Ava. 

“Are you?” Ava countered, barely able to utter the words. Despite the cold, she felt surprisingly warm. The pain she had felt a moment ago seemed to disappear, at least for the moment.

“I -” Beatrice seemed to realise how intimate her hold on Ava was and took a respectful step back, severing the contact between them. All at once, Ava felt the cold pain once more. “I took a few hits, I suppose.” Beatrice, like Ava, was trapped in a sort of stupor.

They stood for a moment, as the chugging of the train and the whistling of the wind filled the awkward silence. Somehow, Ava managed to find her voice again. 

“So, coffee then?” 

“Yes… Yes.” Beatrice replied, leading Ava back into the train. She closed the door as best as she could, though the latch had been broken in two.

“You’ve got a real penchant for destruction of property, huh?” Ava asked as they sat together in the dining car. 

“Hmm…” Beatrice looked up, still half lost in her thoughts. “I guess… Wait, you did some of it!” She smiled, still intoxicated with the moment of nothing she shared with Ava.

“That’s fair.” Ava muttered with a grin. 

“What can I get for you two today?” A waiter approached their table politely.

“A coffee for me, with cream. Please.” Ava ordered. Her accented English sounded odd to Beatrice. 

“Tea for me.” Beatrice looked up at the waiter, though it pained her to remove Ava from her gaze. “Please and thank you.” 

“Of course.” He nodded and retreated from the table, leaving them alone once more. 

“If you wanted to seem more English, you should have gotten tea.” Beatrice teased, but Ava’s face fell.

“I would never, not if coffee is an option.” Ava replied, stony. 

“I’ve made you tea before…” Beatrice met Ava’s eyes.

“I remember.” 

“And you drank it?” 

“Yes.” Ava sighed and looked out the window. The snow was getting higher the further north they travelled. “I didn’t want to be rude, so I drank it.” 

“Ava! You should have said something!” Beatrice was frustrated, with herself more than Ava. 

“I don’t dislike tea, necessarily...” She turned back towards Beatrice. “It reminds me of a time that I’d rather forget.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What happened to your moratorium on apologies?” Ava questioned slyly, clearly trying to deflect from a serious topic. 

“Oh, you’re right.” Beatrice wasn’t sure if she preferred their banter to the tense moments that sometimes occurred between them. Her feelings were a complex mess.

“Your drinks, ladies.” The waiter returned, steaming drinks in hand. He set them on the table and the liquid inside stirred slightly with the moving of the train.

“Thank you.” Ava told him with a smile.

“Thank you.” Beatrice echoed, without the effortless and light charisma that Ava seemed to carry into every interaction she had. 

“ _ God  _ bless…” Ava whispered, taking a sip of the coffee. Beatrice nearly laughed at the absurdity of it all. They were nearly killed minutes ago, yet Ava insisted on coming down to get a coffee anyhow, like nothing even happened. 

“I don’t understand you.” Beatrice mumbled, while drinking her tea in a markedly less dramatic fashion.

“Who does?” Ava shrugged.

Back behind the closed door of the cabin, they could speak freely once more. “Why do they keep coming after us? They have to know that we don’t have the files on us any longer.” Ava lamented as she slid the door shut. 

“Maybe it’s not the data they’re after…” Beatrice mused from beside the window. She tapped her fingers nervously on her leg, hating to be confined once more. 

“Here.” Ava reached over and opened the top hatch on the window. “Does that help?”

Cold air flooded the cabin, but Beatrice visibly relaxed, making Ava smile. “A bit, thank you.”

“Mhm…” Ava sat down, content to stare out the window and get lost in her thoughts. 

“Maybe the Soviets think we know what the files contained?” Beatrice suggested, thinking through the issue now that her mind had started to function once more. “Or perhaps their motivation is purely revenge focused?” 

Ava didn’t reply, she didn’t even hear Beatrice talking, she was a world away. “Ava?” 

“What? Sorry?” Ava jumped slightly. “Sorry, what were you saying?” 

“I was just…” Beatrice trailed off. “Your face is red here.” She reached out despite herself, running a gentle thumb over the angry mark that adorned Ava’s cheek.

“It hurts.” Ava mumbled, distracted by Beatrice’s touch. “But at least it’s not bleeding.” 

“At least it’s not…” Once again, Beatrice failed to finish her sentence. 

“This has been a painful journey so far.” Ava whispered, as she tried to resist the fire that burned through her limbs. 

“It has.” Beatrice remembered herself and sat back against the seat, putting as much distance as possible between herself and Ava. Fervently, she wondered why the open window was doing so little to cool her.

“Thank you.” 

“What?” Beatrice was surprised by Ava’s sudden apology. 

“Thank you.” Ava repeated herself, more adamant this time. “For not letting me fall off the train.”

“Oh.” Beatrice wanted to take Ava’s hand in her own, but resisted the urge to do so. “You’re welcome.”

“And thank you for pulling that assassin off of me.  _ And  _ for stitching up my stab wound.” Ava’s easy smile brightened the grey cabin. “I owe you a lot of thanks.” 

“I’m sure I owe you just as many.” Beatrice tried to remain calm, even as her thoughts raged within.

“I doubt that.” Ava replied, strangely competitive and oddly tense.


	9. Ich Bin Ein Berliner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice reach the city and enjoy several hours of relative calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kill me

“Wir haben eine reservierung für Ruth und Judith.” Beatrice told the front desk attendant at the hotel. 

“Oh, it’s alright dear.” She smiled warmly. “I speak English.” 

“That’s good to hear.” Ava grinned, perfectly in character. The woman looked at her papers, shuffling through them to find the reservation Shannon had made several days prior. 

“Two rooms, then.” She passed them the keys over the counter. “Adjacent to each other, of course.”

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded, passing one of the keys to Ava and pocketing her own.

“You’re here for the symposium at Freie Universität, correct?” 

“Yes.” Ava answered first. 

“Be careful there, okay?” Her concern seemed genuine. “It’s been quiet the last few days, but there are constant demonstrations in that part of the city. Students, mostly, though less behaved than you two lovely women, I’m sure.”

“I don’t know…” Ava winked at the attendant, but Beatrice felt her ears burn. “Judith is quite the troublemaker.” 

“Is that so?” The woman laughed and clapped her hands, delighted for some banter after an exceedingly boring day. 

“It is, but you didn’t hear it from me!” Ava replied, before walking to the elevator with Beatrice. 

“Was that necessary?” Beatrice grumbled once the elevator door had closed.

“I dunno, I thought so.” Ava muttered, leaning her head on Beatrice’s shoulder as the elevator continued to rise. It was a tiny display of affection, but Beatrice was worried her heart would leap from her chest. Maybe that was  _ just  _ from the elevator, though… 

Thankfully, the metal doors slid open a few seconds later, revealing a wide hallway. It was dimly lit and empty, save for the decor that adorned the corridor. Beatrice looked down at the key in her hand and strode to the appropriate door. Meanwhile, Ava stood at the one beside it. Without comment, Beatrice unlocked the door and began to step over the threshold when Ava interrupted her. 

“Beatrice?” 

“Yes?” 

“I…” All the confidence Ava displayed downstairs must have gotten lost along the way. “Once you’re ready for bed… Will you come stay with me?” Her voice dropped to a shy whisper.

“Oh?  _ Oh. _ ” Beatrice froze for a moment, unsure of how to reply. “If you want, I can. Yes.” 

“Thank you.” Ava mumbled before disappearing into her room.

Beatrice strode across the room as Ava’s words echoed in her head. Earlier, she had considered their sleeping arrangements, secretly disappointed that they would be separate for the next two nights. Ava, unsurprisingly, had been braver than she was. While she had initially gone to Ava out of selflessness, Beatrice couldn’t deny that she felt more rested too. Ava might claim to be a ‘dangerous woman,’ but Beatrice knew that she had never felt safer.

These thoughts didn’t come without internal strife, they never did. Shivering slightly, Beatrice turned on the shower, as hot as it would go. Steam billowed into the room as she stripped down, removing the layers of warm clothes she’d spent the day in. Beatrice turned in the mirror, looking at her bare back, and the deep bruising that ran along her shoulder blade and down her spine. Just as it had begun to heal, they were attacked again, a fresh pain.

Timidly, she climbed into the shower, wincing slightly as the hot water burned her exposed skin. After a moment, she grew used to it, the scalding punishment for her messy thoughts. It was amazing how fully Ava had impacted her life over less than two weeks. Her influence, though Beatrice was hesitant to admit it, was beautiful. She  _ liked  _ who she was around Ava. The familiar self-loathing and regret lessened whenever she was around. 

Following her shower, Beatrice changed into her pajamas. From within her bag, she retrieved her weapons. Three pistols, a silencer, and an assortment of knives. She loaded and unloaded each firearm, before checking the action. The robotic obsession of her movements provided some distraction, or perhaps comfort, in her anxious mind. Usually, at least, though tonight it reminded her of Paris. Of the mission there. Of Ava. 

The night wore on and Beatrice knew she couldn’t wait much longer. She was tired and Ava probably was too. For a few moments, she considered not going over, but the prospect of it made Beatrice sadder than she cared to admit. So, with a gentle step and a nervous heart, she exited her room and knocked on the door beside her own.

“Guten abend.” Ava whispered as she opened the door. Beatrice stepped inside without a word, content to let Ava speak more, should she wish to. “I was scared you weren’t going to come.” 

“I told you I would.” Beatrice replied quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking out the window. Below, she could clearly see the division that marred the city, an ugly wall that divided Berlin in two.

“I know…” Ava sat on the other side of the large bed, leaving plenty of space as a buffer between them. “But normally…” She didn’t finish her sentence. 

“Normally we don’t  _ start  _ in the same bed.” Beatrice filled in the blank, though it made her more than a little nervous to do so.

“Exactly.” Ava leaned her head against the wall. It was late and she was exhausted. 

“Are you okay? After today’s fight, I mean…” Beatrice clarified quickly. 

“I suppose.” Ava answered cryptically, though pain radiated through her body. “I got kicked right in my side, though.” She added in a tiny voice. “I was fighting cautiously, I think he could tell that I was guarding it.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice’s worry slipped into her tone despite her efforts to conceal it. 

“It’s fine, really.” Ava reassured her with a weak smile. “It didn’t start bleeding again, thankfully. I would hate to ruin another one of your shirts.” 

“If we could go more than a couple days without being attacked, I think it would do a lot for your healing.” Beatrice laid down on the edge of the bed as she joked.

“I think it would do a lot for my mental state too.” Ava remarked darkly, while switching off the lamp on the nightstand. 

A familiar darkness filled the room, making each woman slightly bolder in her words and actions. “Thank you.” Ava whispered from her side of the bed, with more than a foot of space between her and Beatrice. 

“For what?” 

“For coming. I know… Well, maybe you didn’t want to. But I appreciate it. A lot.” 

“To Germany or…” Beatrice was being intentionally obtuse, she knew what Ava meant. Yet she needed to buy a moment at least, since she wasn’t sure if she could cope with Ava’s words.

“To here. This room. This bed.” Ava shifted slightly beside her. “With me.”

“I…” Beatrice drew in a deep breath. “I like being able to help you.”

“Really?” Ava sounded surprised. 

“Is that so shocking?” 

“A bit, yes.” 

“Why?” Beatrice couldn’t help but ask, though she wanted to do more than just talk. She wanted to hold Ava’s hand, to hold  _ Ava,  _ to keep her safe and warm. There was no use denying it, Beatrice realised with a bitter start.

“I don’t know…” Ava began, though it was an abject lie. After a few moments of silence, she continued. “It’s not often I let others into my life, as I have with you. Camila is my best friend, I’ve known her since I was young… Yet you’ve seen more of me than she ever has.” 

“I don’t believe that.” 

“It’s the truth.” Ava wasn’t sure if she should feel guilty or not. What was it about Beatrice that made her feel so honest, so forthcoming?

“Really?” 

“Yes.” Ava rolled onto her side to face Beatrice, who’s silhouette was faintly outlined in the darkness. “I don’t know why. It just…  _ Is.  _ Not everything needs to have an answer, or needs to be logically dissected. Sometimes, people feel how they feel.”

“Very eloquent.” Beatrice teased, too terrified to say anything else. 

“I try.” Gently, Ava found one of Beatrice’s hands and took it in her own. Both women blushed, thankfully invisibile in the dim room. “And I’m sorry about your scarf, by the way.” She added suddenly, catching Beatrice off guard. 

“That’s alright. I’d rather you survive the journey than the scarf.” Beatrice replied. In truth, she had all but forgotten about the accessory. In thinking about the train ride, all she could focus on was Ava and how they clung to one another on the platform. It made her head spin. 

“No, don’t say that.” Ava chuckled. “Tomorrow, in our rare hours of free time, I’ll replace it for you. I’m sure there is somewhere to shop in the city. Oh! And I’ll replace the sweater I ruined, too.” 

“You really don’t need to do that.” 

“I want to.” Ava sighed heavily. “You’ve been kind to me since we met, kinder than I deserve, all things considered.” 

“I don’t know if I agree with that.” Beatrice wasn’t sure how to tell Ava that she deserved the world and maybe more.

“It would have been a lot easier for you to tell me off and leave with the data. You could have left me at the embassy, or ditched me once we got back to the hotel.”

“If I left you at the embassy, you might have died.” 

“Maybe.” Ava didn’t sound overly concerned. 

“I considered leaving.” Beatrice admitted. “That night, as I laid in bed. I knew I could do it, I knew I could get away without consequence.” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“I’m not sure.” Beatrice moved slightly closer to Ava and their hands were still firmly clasped together. “It made me feel surprisingly guilty.”

“Maybe you  _ do  _ have a conscience after all.” Ava joked lightly. “But seriously, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Beatrice ignored the jest entirely.

“I sleep better when you’re around.” 

“I’ve noticed.” 

“It’s been nice.” Now it was Ava’s turn to creep closer, though there were still several inches of space between them. “I’m going to miss it when I eventually return to America… I’m going to miss  _ you. _ ” 

Beatrice had thought about Ava’s departure before, many times in fact. It always made her feel sick.

“I think I’ll miss you too.” No, that wasn’t right. “I know I will.” 

“Lucky for you, we still have this mission, and a few more.” Ava’s grin was audible in her words. “But we could still be friends?” 

“Of course.” 

Ava released Beatrice’s hand, only to reach over and pull her into a hug. Instead of letting Beatrice go after a moment, Ava stayed wrapped around her, as she quickly fell asleep. Beatrice, after spending several minutes in shock, put an arm around Ava, with overzealous care. Her panic fell away, leaving only Ava’s calm breathing and the cold dark night. A few minutes more and Beatrice found slumber too. 

Morning found the pair tangled up together still, having barely moved from the night prior. Beatrice woke up first, slightly flustered at Ava’s proximity. She calmed, after a second, content to savour the moment. Ava seemed so still, far more peaceful than Beatrice had ever seen her. 

“Good morning.” Ava whispered eventually, without opening her eyes. 

“Good morning.” Beatrice replied.

Ava stretched beside her, only to wince at the movement. “Everything hurts.” She muttered, frustratedly. “I hope tonight goes more smoothly.” 

“You and I both.” Beatrice answered quietly. Her body ached, even beneath the warm blankets. One more hit and Beatrice worried she might crack into pieces. 

“We have…” Ava sat up and her hair was adorably messy. She looked at the clock on the bedside table. “Fourteen hours before tonight’s operation. What an exciting prospect!” 

“What do you want to do?” 

“I’d like to start with coffee.” Ava could, sometimes, be predictable. “Well, first I should get dressed. Then we can get coffee.” 

“You have a one track mind.” Beatrice told as she stood. The room was cold and a look behind the curtains revealed a fresh snowfall. It must have blanketed the city overnight. 

“That’s hardly fair.” Ava retorted, joining Beatrice at the window. 

“You’ve bruised your face.” She reached out, halfway, then dropped her hand. 

“ _ I  _ didn’t do it.” Ava seemed… Disappointed? “I’ll cover it up before we go out, don’t worry.” She retreated into the bathroom and Beatrice took her cue to leave. 

Half an hour later, they regrouped in the hallway. “You look nice.” Ava mumbled as she stepped into the corridor. Beatrice had been waiting for a few minutes already, standing by the wide window. She wore a linen shirt, tucked neatly into her slacks, and a fancy pair of leather dress shoes. A thick, woollen jacket hung loosely in her hand.

“Thank you.” Beatrice watched Ava carefully, before continuing. “I could say the same to you.” 

She did an odd sort of curtsey, amidst her laughs. “Why thank you, I am quite the fashion icon.” Ava’s outfit was wholly opposite of Beatrice’s monochromatic and boyish affair. A red pair of pants was met with a sharp pair of boots, which she had borrowed from Beatrice’s closet. “Though it wouldn’t kill you to wear a colour sometime.” She added as Beatrice followed her to the elevator. 

“I wear navy. Sometimes.” Beatrice retorted weakly, nervous behind the sliding metal doors. Ava didn’t reply, but took her hand, a friendly sign of comfort more than anything else. She released it once they reached the lobby.

“There’s a café around the corner, I saw it last night.” Ava mentioned as they crossed the lobby. Now that they were back in public, she’d seamlessly switched back into her accent, though it was jarring for Beatrice. 

The cold hit them both like a truck. “ _ Jesus. _ ” Ava mumbled, feeling as though the freezing air had pushed the air from her lungs.

“It’s not that bad.” Beatrice teased, though she was barely able to keep herself from shivering in the stiff wind. 

“Maybe for you!” Ava grumped, leading her down the frosty sidewalk. 

Only a minute or two later, they found refuge in a small café. It was thankfully much warmer inside and the pair found a cozy table tucked into the corner of the shop. Only a few minutes later and they each had their steaming beverage of choice; a necessary addition to the morning. 

“Do you feel better now?” Beatrice asked with a smirk, while Ava worshipped her mug.

“I don’t judge you.” Ava quipped.

“Don’t you though?” Beatrice laughed despite herself. Their mission tonight would be a dangerous one, but in Ava’s presence it barely bothered her. Normally, Beatrice would be much tenser at a time such as this. “You were  _ just  _ teasing me about wearing colours.” 

“Oh, yeah.” Ava smiled. “I forgot about that.”

“How convenient…” 

The unbothered, busy sounds of the café filled the space between them, for a few minutes, anyhow. Once Ava’s caffeine began to kick in, she spoke again. 

“Are you nervous?” 

“About?” 

“Tonight.” Ava didn’t elaborate, given that they were in public. She didn’t want to risk being overheard. 

“Not as much as I probably should be.” Beatrice admitted, though she left out her reasoning. “Are you?”

“Can I be honest?” Ava asked, looking down at the table as she did so.

“Of course, though you haven’t needed to ask before.” Beatrice replied carefully. 

“I was more nervous to ask you… You know… Last night.” Ava inhaled sharply. “Than I am for tonight. It’s a bit odd, I know.” 

“I understand.” And Beatrice did understand, at least. She felt the same, though unlike Ava, she wasn’t quite ready to say it aloud. Ava’s hand sat idle on the table beside her and it was everything Beatrice could do to keep herself from grabbing it. Instead, she tucked her free hand into her coat pocket. “There’s a shopping district, towards the river. If you wanted to go there…?”

“Yes!” Ava’s smile reappeared. “I owe you a scarf and a jumper.” 

“No, you don’t.”

“Agree to disagree, then?” Ava gulped down the rest of her coffee.

“You’re incredibly frustrating.” Beatrice finished her own drink and stood, ready for a bracing walk downtown. 

“How?” Ava threw her hands up in feigned frustration. “Literally, how?!” 

Beatrice only laughed as they began to walk, but appreciated the newfound energy and warmth between them. On the busy sidewalks, plenty of women held hands, to keep from being separated from their friends. Given that social permission, Beatrice took Ava’s hand, earning a curious look, but no comment. Easy conversation bounced between them, but none of it was of particular consequence. 

Several hours later and Beatrice regretted making the suggestion. Ava, somehow, managed to shop like a madwoman. To avoid the chaos, Beatrice had retreated across the street, to a small cafe. Eventually, Ava would be done shopping, right? In the meantime, she could attempt to catalogue her messy thoughts and work through all that plagued her. At least, in theory, that was what Beatrice wanted. In reality, she found herself all but lost in thoughts of Ava. 

Every detail was distracting. Ava’s golden hair, her hands, the way she’d bravely wrapped herself around Beatrice last night. Was her nervousness a result of the same turmoil Beatrice felt? Or was she bad at honest socialisation, like most spies? Both? Even Beatrice’s brilliant mind struggled to make sense of it. All she knew for certain was how much she wanted to k -

“Hi! Sorry!” Ava had returned without Beatrice realising, interrupting her thoughts. “I took a while, I know.” She grinned and held a bag out towards Beatrice, who still seemed a world away. “I got these for you.” 

“What?” 

“A replacement scarf and jumper.” Ava looked down, then met Beatrice’s eyes. “And something else, as a thank you.” 

Beatrice carefully lifted the paper, as Ava watched in anticipation. “Ava, this is…” She lifted out a finely made pair of dress slacks,  _ men’s  _ dress slacks.

“Oh, no!” Ava put a hand to her mouth. “You hate them, don’t you!” 

“No!” Beatrice grinned while Ava’s cheeks grew redder than they already had been. “They’re perfect, thank you.” 

“Oh…” Ava seemed relieved, if still slightly on edge. “I thought they would look nice on you, especially with the tapered leg and -”

“Thank you.” Beatrice interrupted to say thank you a second time, though Ava’s fretting was adorable. 

“There’s also…” Ava took a moment to breath, then continued. “I tried to find a scarf and jumper most like those I lost.” 

“I appreciate the effort.” Beatrice told her, though she barely cared about the clothing, as long as Ava was okay. 

“And sorry again for taking so long.” 

“Enough apologies!” Beatrice chastised as they headed back towards the hotel. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“That’s what  _ you  _ think.” Ava retorted, stubborn to the last moment.


	10. What Are You Going to Do, Shoot Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission goes... Somewhat to plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much respect for giselle defending this CRUMB of representation for us

Beatrice and Ava crept along the frozen path. They had purposely chosen a lesser-patrolled section of the wall, though a snowy park. It was late and the atmosphere was more than a little tense. There were several political posters plastered over the graffiti that adorned the wall. 

“What do these say?” Ava asked in a tiny whisper, running a hand over the oppressive concrete surface. Her spoken German was more than passable, but she could barely read it.

“Students against the Shah…” Beatrice read different posters as they continued. “Justice for Benno… Back the APO… Get out of Vietnam…” She trailed off.

“Who’s Benno?” Ava wondered, scared to seem stupid, but curious nonetheless. 

“A student. He was shot during a protest by the police.” Beatrice explained carefully. “Some of those in…. Our line of work suspect that the officer was actually a Stasi operative or KGB, but I’m not sure that’s been proven.” 

“Oh…” Ava shivered, but not from the weather. “The woman at the front desk was right, then. About the demonstrations?” 

“I suppose.” Beatrice paused for a moment, then continued. “There’s demonstrations in every major city on the planet right now, not just those that are as painfully divided as Berlin.” 

“There’s a lot wrong, right now.” Ava responded darkly. “With the world, I mean.” She’d witnessed it first-hand, too many times. 

“Agreed.” Beatrice stopped, ducking behind a small plot of bushes. Ava followed without comment. Up ahead, two Stasi officers walked out of a small door in the wall - the only crossing point for miles. They stood disdainfully in the snow and the tiny orange light of their cigarettes were all that lent colour to the scene. 

“Do you want to take the one on the left?” Ava breathed as they watched the men talk.

“Sure.” Beatrice replied quietly. “Follow my lead?” 

“Always.” Ava stood, as did Beatrice. They continued down the path, walking as though they were simply two friends, out for an evening stroll. 

“Halt! Wohin gehst du?” One of the guards commanded as they drew closer. Beatrice stopped and raised her hands, a false expression plastered on her face. 

“Oh! I’m sorry.” Her fake innocence almost made Ava laugh. “We’re not from here, we didn’t know…” The guard seemed remorseful and removed the hand from his weapon. 

“Are you lost?” He asked, his voice thick with an accent. Meanwhile, the other guard didn’t speak at all. 

“Yes.” Beatrice took a step closer, as did Ava. “Our hotel is…” She pulled a wrinkled map from her pocket and both the guards bent over to look at it. “Here.” 

She pointed to a marked location on the map to draw their attention, before punching one of the guards squarely in the face. Ava followed suit a moment later. They both fell to the ground, in near unison. 

“Let’s drag them into that shed.” Ava gestured to the gardener’s shed several yards away. “I don’t want them to get hypothermia out here.” 

“I… Okay.” Beatrice didn’t want to question Ava’s motives. Instead, they took two trips, dragging the men into the shed. Carefully, Ava took all the bullets from their guns, and threw them into the pond outside. 

“Just in case.” She told Beatrice, who was sweeping the drag marks away with her foot. 

“I understand.” Beatrice moved towards the checkpoint door with the guard’s keys in hand. “But we’re a few minutes behind schedule now, we need to make haste.” 

“Okay. Sorry.” Ava mumbled, feeling slightly guilty as Beatrice unlocked the door. 

“Don’t apologise.” She snapped, just as the door sprung open. There was a small room inside, thankfully empty, but well-stocked with weapons and other supplies. 

“I know we’re already late…” 

“What?” 

“Can we spare another two minutes?” Ava inquired, her eyes glinting under the dim, artificial light in the room. 

“Fine, but hurry.” Beatrice instructed. With manic energy, Ava pulled the firing pin out of every single gun on the rack and dumped them in a wastebasket. She didn’t anticipate trouble, but lately luck hadn’t been in their favour. Should their operation go south, Ava wanted to have a few aces up her sleeve this time. 

On the other side of the wall, the city looked drastically different. Gone was the graffiti that decorated the other side and there were no political posters. Thankfully, they were alone, and hurried into the maze of concrete buildings.

“How far behind are we?” Ava asked as they ducked around a desolate corner. Beatrice checked her watch as they passed under a dim street light.

“Six minutes.” 

“Oh. That’s not so bad.” Ava muttered.

“It’s not  _ good. _ ” Beatrice countered in a hoarse whisper.

“Eh.” Ava shrugged, surprisingly casual, considering their circumstances. 

“I don’t understand you.” Beatrice told her while they crossed an icy street. 

“You’ve said that before.” 

“Yes, I know.” Beatrice looked up at the building in front of them. “I think this is it.” 

“It’s half-rubble…” Ava glanced around. “Actually, a lot of the buildings are still rubble. Why?” 

“East Berlin hasn’t been as quick about repairing after the war, I suppose.” She replied, carefully opening the door. It nearly fell from its hinges at Beatrice’s touch. 

“This doesn’t seem right.” Ava mumbled, cautious for Beatrice more than herself. 

“It’s where our contact wanted to meet. It was in the briefing. Obviously, it would have put them in danger if we went right to their flat.” Beatrice explained as she picked her way through the dusty hallway.

“I know that, but…” Ava bristled in nervousness, she felt as though her hair was standing on end. Maybe it was just her apprehension about being in a bombed out building? 

“In here!” A voice whispered from one of the intact rooms. Beatrice and Ava exchanged a quick look, and they both had a hand on their weapon.

“Odd place to meet.” Ava remarked callously as she entered the room. A couple stood before them - clearly nervous. 

“Sorry, sorry.” The man remarked. His dark hair and beard were peppered with grey, despite his young appearance. “These are dangerous times. We didn’t want to risk being overheard.” 

“Understood.” Beatrice was as nervous as Ava, but she didn’t show it as openly. “Do you have the data?” 

“Yes.” He pulled a thick parcel from inside his jacket as his wife shifted listlessly beside him. She seemed distracted and watched snow slowly fall through a hole in the roof. 

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded politely. “We’ll be on our way now, lest we bring any trouble to you two.

Ava followed Beatrice from the room, but turned back, catching one last glimpse of the couple. The woman met her gaze, and mouthed a single word.  _ Sorry.  _

“Take the back door out.” Ava muttered under her breath as they walked down the hallway. 

“What? Why?” 

“Just do it.” Ava took Beatrice’s hand and turned down a different hallway, in the opposite direction. 

“Ava, you’re scaring me.” 

“Please. Trust me.” Ava replied, as she kicked open a half-blocked and broken door. It yielded, finally, revealing a snowy courtyard. It was thankfully empty. Around the front of the building, where they should have exited, there was audible shouting. Hyper aware of the footprints they were leaving in the snow, Ava pulled Beatrice onto an icy pathway and led her down the narrow alley. 

Behind a rickety fire escape, Beatrice stopped. “What the  _ fuck? _ ” 

“It was a set-up. I think…” Ava ran through the possibilities. “Or, we’ve been double-crossed. Perhaps the information is legitimate, but they sold us to the Stasi anyway.” She seemed surprisingly calm about this.

“How did you know?”

“The woman, his wife… She said sorry, as we were leaving…” Ava explained. “Their clothes were ragged and they both looked older than they were. Either Stasi officials or KGB operatives offered them a substantial payout. A well-needed one, by the looks of it. I…” She hesitated, feeling Beatrice’s gaze on her face. “I don’t blame them. But, we’re definitely wanted targets now, if we weren’t already.” 

“Good catch.” Beatrice conceded, though she was frustrated with herself for not noticing what Ava had. She could have walked them both into a trap. 

“This might make getting back a  _ tad  _ more complicated…” Ava added with an odd smile. 

“I might have an -” Beatrice was interrupted by heavy engine noise and a bright light at the end of the alley. Without thinking, she pressed herself against Ava, holding her tightly to the icy brick. A moment later, the truck passed, having not caught sight of them. 

“You… You were saying?” Ava whispered, clearly flustered as her cheeks burned in the freezing air.

“I…” Beatrice stepped back, just as flustered as Ava, if not moreso. It took her a few minutes to catch her breath. “If we can cause a distraction to pull them away from the wall, we should be able to get back the way we came. In theory, at least.” 

“In theory…” Ava echoed. “If only it were that simple.” 

“I know, I know.” Beatrice’s chest ached, all she wanted was to keep Ava safe. “Follow me.” 

She began to climb up the icy fire escape, with surprising speed, given its condition. Ava followed closely behind. 

“You’re wearing the pants I got you.” Ava observed quietly around the second story of the building.

“I am.” Beatrice blushed, though thankfully Ava couldn’t see her face.

“They look nice.” Ava replied.

“Thank you.” Beatrice reached the top of the building and reached out a hand to help Ava. She didn’t need it, but Ava took the help anyhow.

“You’re welcome.” Ava smiled then followed Beatrice’s gaze out towards the building of their meeting and towards the wall. “Good thing we’re not scared of heights, huh?” 

“Good thing.” Beatrice echoed sardonically. 

Armed men swarmed around the building and surrounding areas. Ava was right, it would be significantly more difficult to get back now.

“Any bright ideas?” Ava inquired as they stared at the dangerous scene below. 

“How many bullets do you have?” Beatrice answered with another question. In response, Ava emptied her pockets. 

“Two mags spare, not counting the one in my gun.” 

“Perfect.” Beatrice reached inside her jacket and ripped out one of the interior pockets. “Dump them in here.” Ava raised an eyebrow, but emptied her bullets into the cloth pouch. Gently, Beatrice set the pouch onto the brick edge of the roof. Without comment, Beatrice reached over the side and ripped a flag from someone’s pole. 

Below, an officer caught the movement and pointed upwards. “Wer ist da oben?!” He shouted.

“That’s not good.” Ava remarked as the men worked their way through the streets and towards their building. 

“Hold them off.” Beatrice was busy ripping the flag into strips. 

“She says, having taken most of my ammo.” Ava grumbled, while crouching into position behind a low wall. 

“I’m sure you’ll manage.” Beatrice retorted while she worked, though her faith in Ava was greater than her reply illustrated. 

“We’ll see.” Metallic clanking filled the air as the Stasi officers began to climb up the fire escape. “I’m sorry.” Ava whispered, to herself, though Beatrice overheard. From her concealed position, she shot the rusty bolts that held the apparatus to the building. In a cacophony of grinding metal and shouts, it tumbled into the alley below. Unfortunately, some of the men climbed the fire escape of the building next door instead, and they were loading their weapons to fire. 

Ava looked at them, then back at Beatrice who was completely exposed. With the few silent seconds remaining, she dove from her hiding spot and tackled Beatrice behind the roof entrance.

“ _ Christ,  _ Ava.” Beatrice choked, as she struggled to regain her breath. Loud gunshots ripped through the air, chipping the bricks where Beatrice had just been crouched. “Oh.” She mumbled, as she watched the red dust billow into the snowy air.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just…” Ava trailed off, opting to climb off of Beatrice instead. Her stab wound ached, but she barely felt it through the adrenaline.

“Understood.” Beatrice coughed. It was surprisingly difficult for her to focus on the gunfire that pinned them down, but surprisingly easy to focus on how Ava had just been on top of her. 

“Are you almost done with… That?” Ava asked, gesturing to the odd, cloth sack in her hands. 

“Yes.” Beatrice scanned their surroundings. They could slide down the roof behind them and jump onto the fire escape across the alley. “This will buy us a few moments. We’ll slide down the eaves there.” She pointed to the icy surface and Ava nodded. “Can you make the jump across?” 

“I think so.” Ava answered. She didn’t really have a choice, anyhow. 

“Alright. Get ready.” Beatrice pulled a slim, metal lighter from her pocket. With a swift movement, she lit a strip of the flag aflame. A moment later she tossed the odd bundle towards the far edge of the building’s roof, closest to the officers. Ava pressed a hand to her ear and braced for impact, as did Beatrice. 

A surprisingly large explosion shook the building beneath beneath them and sent a cloud of dusty smoke into the air. Ava shuddered, as the proximity of the blast was too reminiscent of her time in Saigon. She didn’t have time to fixate on it though, as Beatrice had already begun her sprint across the rooftop. 

Beatrice jumped over the low wall and slid down the eaves with shockingly graceful movements, pushing off to the adjacent fire escape at the last second. Ava followed closely behind, though her wound was starting to ache more than she was comfortable with. Still, she didn’t have a choice. Just as Beatrice had done, she prepared to make the jump. Just as she pushed off the icy roof, her injury flared in pain, ruining her momentum.

Time seemed to slow for a moment, as Ava hurtled through the air. She hadn’t jumped hard enough, she wasn’t going to make it. Desperately, she reached a hand up, trying to catch the edge of the frozen metal. Instead, two firm hands grabbed her forearms, lifting her onto the platform with surprising ease. 

“Thank you.” Ava whispered, half bent over in pain. 

“Mhm.” Beatrice only hummed as she hurried down the remaining steps. Her worry for Ava and their constant contact was insanely overwhelming. But, if they wanted to make it back alive, she had no choice but to focus.

Once on the ground, they frantically ducked through the narrow streets, which were now absent of Stasi officers. Those that hadn’t been stuck on the fire escape were congregated around the explosive and they lost Ava and Beatrice in the chaos. Exactly as intended, sort of. 

“There’s an exposed stretch from here to the wall.” Beatrice panted, her breath coming heavy after sprinting back the way they had come. “Are you okay to run?” She wasn’t blind to Ava’s pain.

“Yes.” Ava leaned up against the building, clutching her side. It had definitely re-opened, she could feel the blood dripping down her stomach. 

“Ready?” Beatrice grabbed her hand. She would drag Ava back to safety if she had to.

“Ready.” Ava nodded. A moment later, they pelted across the snow and hurtled through the checkpoint door. 

Inside the small room, there thankfully weren’t any officers. Ava helped Beatrice tip a large filing cabinet in front of the door, just in case they were pursued. With no other opposition, they crossed through and opened the other door, leading them back into West Berlin.

“Na bitte!” A guard shouted, smashing his gun across Beatrice’s face and knocking her to the ground. It was the same guard that they encountered on the way in, though he was without his partner. Ava couldn’t help but wonder what happened to him.

“Hallo, entschuldigung.” Ava mumbled, holding her hands up in surrender. He pointed his gun at her, though she could see his hand shaking. Meanwhile, Beatrice laid near Ava’s feet, unmoving.

“I’ll shoot you.” He threatened, switching into English.

“And here I thought you were the good guys.” Ava quipped, unmoving. 

“Don’t joke!” He cried, sounding upset. And he was, of course, upset. Even if it was part of his job, he didn’t want to shoot a beautiful woman.

“Sorry, sorry.” Ava was shockingly calm. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Beatrice stir, which made her feel a million emotions that she couldn’t admit. She reached down, offering Beatrice a hand up, which she took.

“Hey, hey!” He protested while Beatrice stood, albeit shakily. Blood dripped from her face and onto her jacket. “Stop!” 

“What are you going to do, shoot me?” Ava teased, suddenly smiling. 

And he did. Or at least, tried to. Of course, Ava had emptied his gun earlier. With a swift kick, she knocked the useless weapon from his hand. He stumbled backwards, partially from shock and partially from the impact. Gently, Ava released Beatrice’s hand and followed him across the snowy path. He righted himself, but not in time to avoid catching a second fist across the face. He tumbled into the icy grass, and this time, Ava didn’t bother to drag him to safety. 

“Are you okay?” Ava asked earnestly, returning to Beatrice.

“That was risky.” Beatrice replied, taking Ava’s hand once more. Her head and vision swam slightly, which was compounded by the newfound pain in her head.

“Maybe.” Ava muttered, leading Beatrice through the park. It didn’t seem like they were being followed, but she ducked back into the busy city as soon as it was feasible. 

Ava desperately wanted to make a beeline for the hotel, but it would have been unwise. Instead, they spent forty minutes trawling about, taking an abstract route back. They barely spoke. Between the cold and the pain between them, conversation seemed like way too much effort. Yet, their hands stayed locked together the entire journey.

Having managed to sneak into one of the hotel’s side doors, they crept upstairs. Being inside a warm building again was beyond welcoming. Upon arrival, Ava unceremoniously collapsed into bed, still fully clothed and bloody. 

“Ava.” Beatrice, who had gone into her own room first, returned after a few minutes. 

“Shh…” Ava was facedown in a pile of blankets. “I’m sleeping.”

“No, you’re not. Turn over.” 

“Fine.” Ava pouted, rolling onto her back, though she didn’t open her eyes. With practiced movements, Beatrice unpacked the first aid kit. She almost hadn’t brought it, but Ava’s recklessness made her wary. Genly, she unzipped Ava’s jacket, only to gasp at what she saw.

“You were going to go to sleep like this?” 

“I’ve had worse.” Ava whispered, still unmoving.

“That’s not… That doesn’t make it alright.” Beatrice chastised her. Blood had soaked thickly through her jumper and into the top of her pants, as well. In revealing Ava’s wound, Beatrice found it looked almost as it did when she had first gotten it. Tonight’s insanity had undone whatever healing had occurred over the last few days. “You need stitches. Again.” 

“I can do them in the morning.” Ava moaned. “You don’t need to do it for me.” 

“Ava.”

“Yes?” Finally, Ava met Beatrice’s concerned gaze. 

“Can you let me help you? Please?” Beatrice asked earnestly, almost desperate in her desire to help. 

“If you let me clean up your face afterward.” Ava countered, earning a nod from Beatrice. Immediately, she threaded a needle and prepared to suture the wound for a second time. 

“Earlier, you said you didn’t blame the informants.” Beatrice sighed as she worked. It had been an excruciatingly long day. “Even though they set us up.” 

“Yes, I did.” Ava winced slightly as the needle pierced her skin.

“Why?” 

“They didn’t  _ ask  _ for any of this.” Ava shook her head, trying to explain something that she’d never said aloud. “This is a harsh place. They were born into Nazi Germany, only to have the country defeated when they were quite young. The buildings are  _ still  _ destroyed, even after two decades. Now, the city and country is divided into two and controlled by opposing forces. Their opportunities are probably a quarter of what they could have been.” 

“I hadn’t thought about it like that…” Beatrice whispered. It wasn’t a sentence she uttered often. 

“It’s the same in Vietnam, just as it was in Korea.” Ava sounded pensive, but angry. “More places than I can list, really. There are so many people caught in the middle and I don’t blame them for doing what’s best for their family.”

“You’re a good person.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.” Ava exhaled sharply in pain, despite her attempts to hide it. “I did kill several people today.” 

“So did I.” Beatrice muttered, though in honesty, she wasn’t even sure if she felt guilty.

“To save us.” 

“You did the same.” It was an impossible argument, with no concrete answers, yet they indulged anyhow. 

“And you saved me.” Ava’s tone turned to reverence. “Twice.” 

“You saved me, too.” Beatrice replied, with equal honour in her voice. Gently, she taped a clean square of gauze to Ava’s wound. “Please, please, try not to rip this open again. You’re not doing yourself any favours.” 

“I’m not sure I had much of a choice tonight…” Ava answered as she sat up. “Now, let’s see about this lovely face of yours.” 

Beatrice blushed, but she didn’t move. Ava pulled herself closer, sitting only a few inches away. Her hand was warm as she tucked a few stray strands of hair behind Beatrice’s ear. Beatrice could have sworn that Ava’s hand lingered on her cheek for a few seconds longer than was strictly necessary. 

“Hold on, for a moment.” Ava stood, a hand pressed to her side, and hurried into the bathroom. A second later, she returned, warm cloth in hand. 

Carefully, she wiped the dried blood from Beatrice’s face and neck, way more gently than she would have done for herself. All the while, Beatrice sat as still as a statue, though her thoughts were anything but. 

“You need stitches too.” Ava finally said, after what seemed like an eternity of silence. There was a deep, crescent shaped gash across Beatrice’s forehead and through her eyebrow. “How does your head feel?” 

“Thick. Painful.” Beatrice answered honestly. 

“And you say  _ I  _ need to be careful.” Ava teased as she threaded a fresh needle.

“You do.” Beatrice retorted, hardly able to think through both her head injury and Ava’s proximity to her face. “That guard could have loaded his gun, yet you told him to  _ shoot you. _ ” 

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t my brightest moment.” Ava breathed as she gently stitched Beatrice’s wound. 

“That’s an understatement.” She didn’t necessarily want to banter, but it was the only way she could disguise her sickening worry for Ava. Had anything happened…

“I’m sorry.” Ava interrupted her thoughts with an apology. “I’m used to working alone and I’m clearly not good at predicting how my stupid actions will affect you. Or our partnership.” 

“That’s…” Beatrice trailed off, unsure of what to say. Perhaps Ava’s apology was warranted, but she had saved Beatrice twice that evening.

“We don’t need to talk about it now.” Ava replied as she finished working. She looked just as tired as Beatrice felt. “We need to be awake in a few hours for another long journey back in London. We can talk more then, if you want.” 

“I’d like that.” Beatrice answered. For the first time in her life, she was looking forward to a train ride.


	11. Casualties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice head back to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to the people who comment on every chapter, youre the best and your comments genuinely make me want to continue writing.

Ava sat down at the rickety table. Her exposed skin burned in the sunlight and her clothes were soaked with sweat. After a few moments alone, an informant appeared from around the corner and joined her. 

“You’re Ruth, right?” He asked, his eyes cautiously darting around the busy patio. 

“That’s what they call me, sure.” Ava replied. “You must be Tai.” 

“I am.” Tai nodded, clearly nervous, whereas Ava was shockingly calm. A kind-faced waitress joined them, setting a pot of tea and two cups on the table. Out of habit, and anxious respect, Tai poured a cup for Ava, then himself. 

“Thank you.” Ava smiled, though it wasn’t returned. 

“Mhm…” He hummed, opting to sip his tea instead of converse further. 

“You’re nervous.” Ava remarked, earning no more than a nod. “That’s okay. I know you’d just like to hand me the information and run. But we’ve met in public, so we’ll have to stay and talk for at least a few minutes. Sorry about that.” She laughed.

“It’s alright.” 

“Tell me about yourself.” Ava prompted charismatically, while she drank her tea. South Vietnam was a thirsty country, she spent more time sweating than working. 

“Not sure that there is much to tell.” Tai didn’t meet her gaze. 

“Do you have a family?” 

“No.” He shook his head. “Not anymore.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry…” Ava hadn’t expected that answer and felt a gloomy macabre settle over them. 

“They were killed. Casualties of war.” Tai’s voice was hoarse. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava repeated, unsure of what else to say. 

“Americans and Soviets want to fight one another, but not  _ really. _ ” His disdain for the conflict was obvious, but understandable. “Vietnamese pay the price.” 

“It’s…” Ava knew this, of course, but knowing something is very different than being confronted with it head on. “A terrible situation. I’m sorry.” 

“I know you’re just doing your job.” Tai didn’t seem to dislike her personally, though that was of little comfort to Ava. 

“I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, either.” She whispered, shaken. “It’s complicated.” 

“That’s the truth.” He smiled then, in knowing that Ava understood where he was coming from. “Here’s the information.” Tai slipped Ava a thick envelope beneath the table, which she slid into her pocket. 

“Thank you.” 

“There is a lot of chaos in Saigon right now and even more beneath the surface.” Tai finished his tea and stood up. “Be careful. Seriously.” He walked away before Ava could reply. She sat alone for several minutes, thinking about what he’d said. After another solitary few cups of tea, she headed to the outskirts of town, on Tai’s information. 

The crowds of the city lessened as she reached the edges of the sprawling metropolis. Those who did pass by stared and whispered - it was clear Ava didn’t belong there. Silently, she chastised herself for not blending in more, but there was only so much she could realistically do. Eventually, she found the location that was referenced in the data. It was a dusty warehouse and it looked abandoned from the outside. 

Ava, despite her instincts, crept around the structure, hesitant to go inside. Around the back, she found another door, but this one had a surprisingly new lock. With a smirk, Ava removed her hairpin and picked the lock. She thought herself clever, though in a few moments her delusions of grandeur would be shattered. As she crept through the building, she followed several sets of footprints that seemed stuck in the dust. 

This must be a secret Russian enclave, it  _ must  _ be. Ava convinced herself, wanting to trust Tai. Especially after what he told her, Ava didn’t want a reason to mistrust him. A noise brought her attention back to reality. At the end of the hallway, there was an office. She pressed her ear to the sturdy door. Inside, a rhythmic clicking noise marked the passage of time. Or something else? Ava realised, perhaps a moment too late. 

She pelted back down the dusty hallway, just as the building imploded around her. The sound was like nothing she had ever heard; the breaking of concrete and the grinding of rebar. Underneath her, the floor shook, unable to maintain its integrity within the blast. Ava shouted, but she couldn’t even hear her own voice. Ducking behind a wall, she took cover, knowing that she didn’t have time to make it to the door before the building collapsed. 

Cement boulders whipped through the air as time slowed to a crawl. Ava tried to make herself as small as possible, but the ground cracked and crumbled, nothing was predictable. Another silent shout, a painful scream ripped from her lungs as she was pinned beneath a slab of rubble. She pushed against it with all her strength, but it didn’t budge. Her fists punched the concrete in brutal frustration, but even the frantic offering of her bloody knuckles couldn’t make it yield. 

Adrenaline can only last for so long and eventually Ava found herself resigned to the situation. Dust hung in the air, choking her and sticking to the blood. The stillness was odd, after such entropy, the scene returned to calm. Tears drew watery streaks across her dirty face as Ava wept. She felt ashamed, angry, frustrated, and every emotion in between. Hours passed like this, then a full day, as Ava slipped in and out of consciousness.

“Ava?” Beatrice shook Ava’s shoulder as gently as she dared. “Ava!” 

“Hmm?” Ava stopped shaking as she gradually woke up, safe in Beatrice’s arms.

“You were… Are you okay?” Beatrice asked in a whisper. The sky was bleary grey and morning had barely broken. 

“I…” Ava’s eyes snapped open. Her hand was clenching Beatrice’s shirt so tightly, that it hurt to release it. “Sorry, I was… Somewhere else.” She struggled to speak, her consciousness was still halfway trapped in the past. 

“I know.” Beatrice held Ava tighter then, an instinct that she didn’t have the energy to repress in her tiredness. “It’s okay. You’re safe.” She added in a tired sentence, still half asleep herself. “At least, as safe as we ever reasonably are.” Ava didn’t reply, content to lay in Beatrice’s arms until the alarm clock signaled the proper beginning of the day. She savoured the moment, the half-twilight falsehood that was an early morning in a foreign land. 

It was a cloudy day that never got much brighter, but eventually the alarm did go off. With tired movements, Beatrice turned it off and sat up. 

“Your face looks… A bit rough.” Ava mumbled, still laying down. 

“Does it?” She put a hand to her head, running her fingers over the neat stitches Ava had put in the night prior. It hurt, even under her gentle touch. 

“I mean, you’re beautiful still, but…” Ava trailed off.

“You’re going to give me an ego with the constant compliments.” 

“I doubt that.” Ava couldn’t imagine an egotistical Beatrice. 

“You don’t look that much better than I do.” Beatrice teased as she reluctantly stood. The movement made her head swim. 

“Hey!” Ava protested in jest. The makeup that had hid the bruise on her cheek had long rubbed off, though the worst of her injuries were thankfully hidden beneath her shirt. 

“We should start getting ready.” Beatrice glanced at the time. “There’s only two trains leaving today and the second one won’t have us back until tomorrow.”

“Always so mission oriented.” Ava quipped, as she painfully rose from the bed. 

“I’m not so sure that’s true.” Beatrice replied with a grim expression. If only Ava knew how much of a distraction she was.

They reconvened in the hallway, both dressed and at least somewhat ready for the day. It was obvious, from the bags beneath their eyes to the awkwardness in their gaits that both women were exhausted and in pain. 

“Can I expense my dry cleaning to Shannon?” Ava asked as they climbed into the elevator, trying to distract Beatrice with a joke. “I feel like I’ve been bleeding more than is normal.” 

“You can try.” Beatrice appreciated the effort, though it didn’t help much. “I’d just be happy to not get attacked on the train this time.” 

“You and me both.” Ava replied with a yawn.

“At least there will be coffee there, right?” Beatrice added with a grin as the doors slid open. 

“Finally!” Ava lamented dramatically. “You finally understand me.” 

They walked towards the front desk to check out and the same woman who’d checked them in was working again. “Oh no!” She looked between them and the undisguised injuries that adorned their faces. “What happened to you two?” 

“There was a bit of a tussle at the symposium yesterday.” Ava answered with natural charisma, before Beatrice could speak. “We should have taken your warning more seriously, I’m afraid.”

“Oh dear…” She wrote a few things down in her notes and Ava handed her the envelope of marks that Shannon had given them in London. “Thank you.” The woman added, counting out the bills. 

“We still had a lovely stay, so thank you.” Ava smiled. “We must be off now, though, we’ve got a train to catch!” She led Beatrice across the lobby before the woman could reply. 

“Was there any violence at the event yesterday? Beatrice wondered once they were outside. 

“I don’t know.” Ava shrugged, unconcerned. “I doubt she’ll even check.” 

“You’re awfully confident.” 

“I definitely have a sort of…” Ava did a bizarre hand motion. “ _ Je ne sais quoi. _ ” 

“You have a certain  _ something  _ all right.” Beatrice joked as they entered the station, still hand in hand. 

Coffee. Coffee was the first priority. Once they were aboard the train, Ava ducked out to get a drink, leaving Beatrice in the cabin. With the window cracked open, of course. She returned a moment later, with a coffee in one hand and a tea in the other. 

“A tea.” Ava handed Beatrice one of the mugs. “For my dearest husband.” 

“Funny.” Beatrice muttered, though her heart fluttered slightly at the prospect of being with Ava like  _ that. _

“I didn’t see anything suspicious.” Ava reported, suddenly more serious. “That doesn’t mean that we won’t be attacked, of course, but I’m just saying…” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice set a hand on Ava’s knee, resting it there for a few seconds. “For being cautious and for the tea.” 

“It’s the least I could do.” Ava leaned back in her seat. “Seriously.” 

Even with the caffeine and the cold air that swirled through the cabin, it was hard to stay awake. Ava rested her head against the icy window, struggling to keep her eyes open. She’d barely gotten any sleep, and the sleep she did get was restless. After several minutes, she eventually succumbed to a listless slumber, that ebbed and flowed with the movement of the train. 

Beatrice, however, managed to stay awake. Barely. She felt compelled to watch over Ava, just in case they were followed. Given their track record, it wasn’t an unlikely possibility. Plus, she figured she could use the down time to sort through some of her more complex thoughts. So much had happened in such a short amount of time that Beatrice struggled to catalogue it all. 

Ava’s apology last night left her feeling… Shaken? Perhaps that wasn’t the right word, but Ava’s sudden awareness had been shocking. Beatrice took a sip of her tea and shook her head, as though that would untangle the knot that tied her emotions together. At the core of it, Ava represented an unknown, a complex anomaly that was completely unpredictable. Yet she was so much more than that, too. 

She was caring, kind, and smarter than Beatrice had given her credit for when they first met. Her smile made Beatrice’s heart pound, as did her messy hair and flushed cheeks in the morning. She was brave, of course, Ava had proven that a dozen times over. They were friends, but every moment shared between them proved to Beatrice that she wanted so much more. It was an impossibility, an improper one at that, but that didn’t stop her thoughts. 

“What are you thinking about?” Ava asked suddenly, as the train crossed into Belgium.

“Good afternoon.” Beatrice couldn’t help but smile as Ava blearily lifted her head from the window and rubbed her jaw. 

“Sorry…” She stretched and yawned, though the movement made her wince. “I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, that was selfish. Had we been attacked I -”

“It’s alright.” Beatrice assured her gently. “We seem to be in the clear. For now, at least.” 

“Still…” Ava looked out the window. “I guess you can add it to the list of apologies I owe you.” 

“How about we go grab something to eat instead?” 

“Oh.” Ava pressed a hand to her stomach, which growled as if on command. “I think that’s a great idea.” 

“I figured you would.” 

At a corner table in the dining car, a hearty lunch seemed to renew both their spirits. “I am sorry, though.” Ava told her, between bites of her sandwich. “If we are going to continue to work together I should really try and be a better partner.” 

“I don’t think you’re a bad partner.” Beatrice began, eating her own lunch with significantly better table manners than Ava. “Granted, my only comparison is Lilith.” 

“Lilith.” Ava repeated. She felt slightly jealous, though she wasn’t sure why. “Was she a bad partner?” 

“No, not necessarily.” Beatrice met Ava’s eye. “She isn’t always a team player, which makes collaboration difficult. Her skills speak for themselves, but I think she works better on her own. I used to think the same of myself.” 

“Understood.” Ava mumbled through a mouthful of food. “But I think you do work well on your own.” 

“Perhaps.” Beatrice answered. “But I think you and I work well together, too.” 

“Agreed.” Ava whispered, though her sudden abashedness gave her away. 

“You apologised last night…”

“I did.” Ava looked back up. “And I meant it.” She sighed, took a sip of coffee, then began again. “I’ve worked alone for nearly every mission I’ve been on. I’m used to doing what I want and solving problems with whatever weird or unorthodox method I can think of.” 

“I know.” Beatrice nodded slightly. 

“This implicates you. It’s selfish of me not to adjust my methods, at least during our partnership.” 

“I’m not sure I see it the same way that you do.” 

“Oh?” Ava was confused now. 

“Sure, you can be… A bit unconventional, but you’ve saved my life now a few times.” Beatrice’s voice cracked slightly as she spoke. 

“And you’ve saved mine, though you might not have needed to had I been less of a… I don’t know. I just feel as though I’m the weakest link.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Does that surprise you?” Ava raised an eyebrow.

“It does.” Beatrice wanted to reach across the table and take Ava’s hand. Better yet, she wanted to get up and hug her. She did neither, instead opting to sit still. “You might be a bit frustrating, but I’ve never thought of you as anything less than extremely capable.” 

“Coming from you, that’s high praise.” A tiny smirk played across Ava’s mouth, but it quickly fell away. “Last night didn’t go as smoothly as either of us hoped. I can’t help but feel as though it's at least partially my fault.” 

“If anything, you prevented it from being even worse.” Beatrice’s head ached at the thought of last night. “There’s more to this than you’re admitting to me.” 

Ava pouted for a moment, crossing her arms and silently staring out the window. “I don’t like when you do that.” 

“You do the same to me.” 

“I know.” She sighed, but ultimately answered the question. “Yesterday’s mission just reminded me of something else, another failure, I suppose.” 

The similarities were, at least to Ava, jarring. “Does this have anything to do with your nightmare?” Beatrice asked, as her curiosity beat out her politeness. In fairness, Ava had clung onto her shirt most of the night, trembling tearfully in Beatrice’s arms.

“Yes.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright.” Ava smiled slightly. “I’ve asked you plenty of invasive questions over the last several days.”

“And you might be the only person I’d actually answer them for.” Beatrice admitted before she could stop herself. 

“Why?”

“I trust you.” Beatrice mumbled. Ava only stared, so she continued. “I don’t have many friends… You’re one of the few people I can talk to and feel like myself.” She added nervously. In truth,  _ friend  _ wasn’t all that Beatrice wanted Ava to be, but she kept that to herself.

“I feel the same.” Ava replied, just as shy as Beatrice had been. It was clear that they were struggling with similar feelings, though neither of them was brave enough to admit it, let alone act on them. 

“Really?” Beatrice was somewhat surprised. Sure, Ava had a job that naturally precluded casual friendships… But with her natural charisma and kindness, Beatrice had assumed that Ava had a whole group of friends. Several acquaintances, at least, with which she could go out on the town and party with. 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Ava wondered. “When I’m not on a mission, which these days isn’t frequently, I’m either with Camila, or alone. Sometimes, Mary will join us too. That’s the extent of my social life.” 

“Honestly, I assumed you had a much wider net.”

“It’s because I’m so charming and likeable, huh?” Ava laughed and jokingly flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

“Yes, actually.” Beatrice was adamant about that at least. 

“You didn’t even like me when we first met.” 

“I did!” Beatrice was slightly offended at the accusation. “But it would have been stupid of me not to be suspicious of you.”

“I’m teasing you.” Ava smiled. “No need to be so defensive.”

“Now I really don’t like you.” Beatrice crossed her arms in feigned indignation. 

“Yes you do.” Ava grinned even wider and Beatrice couldn’t stop herself from doing the same. 

“You’re right.” 

“I know.” Ava looked at Beatrice, then out the window. “I like being your friend. I know everything is…  _ Insane,  _ though that might still be putting it lightly, but I do. You’re a good person, even if you don’t think so.” 

“I could say the same to you.” 

“You could.” Ava’s gaze stayed fixed on the window. “Anyway, I’m sorry. We have a few more missions together and I will try to be a better partner. Okay?” 

“I really don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. Dangerous and reckless, perhaps… Well, the incident with the gun yesterday was questionable… But I think you’re great at this.” Beatrice’s sentences broke into fragments. 

“Perhaps… Nevermind, actually.” Ava inhaled deeply, trying to calm her frayed nerves. “I might be overanalysing this.”

“Maybe…” Beatrice tepidly agreed, though she was beyond curious at what Ava was going to say. 

“Cheers.” Ava awkwardly held up her mug and tapped it against Beatrice’s. “It wasn’t a smooth mission by any stretch of the imagination, but we’re alive.”

“Thank  _ God  _ for the small miracles.”

“Beatrice?” 

“Yes?” Beatrice felt her heart beat faster at Ava’s sudden change in tone. 

“Are you ever going to answer my question about the name Judith?” Ava’s words were carefully chosen, but there was no escaping the weight of the question.

“I suppose.” Beatrice sighed, before launching into an explanation. It was a story she’d never shared before, a story she barely allowed herself to think about. But for Ava… Well, Ava was different.


	12. An Illusion Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice prepare for what's next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating yesterday. sometimes daily updates, especially on these 3k+ chapters are tough. (but this chap is 4.5k to make up for yesterday's absence).

Shannon was waiting on the platform, with Camila and Mary in tow. Ava’s face lit up when she saw them, in a happy, almost juvenile way. 

“Hi!” Her grin lit up the entire platform. 

“Ava!” Camila hugged her tightly, only to pull away at Ava’s sudden exclamation of pain. “Oh, sorry.” Camila blushed slightly, embarrassed despite her excitement. 

“It’s okay!” Ava turned to Mary, who took Ava’s face in her hands and turned it side to side in examination - before hugging her gently. It wasn’t dissimilar from how a parent might care for a child. 

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive.” Mary’s tone was sarcastic, but it was clear she was being earnest. 

“ _ Christ. _ ” Shannon muttered, drawing Beatrice’s attention away from Ava’s reunion. “What happened to your face?”

“There was… Well, there was an incident. Best to not talk about it here.” Beatrice replied carefully, casting a cautious glance around the platform. 

“Very well.” Shannon nodded. “We can debrief tomorrow morning at the office. Is Ava still going to stay with you?” 

“I suppose, but I’ll ask her.” Beatrice was hopeful, of course, but didn’t want to be presumptuous. 

“Beatrice!” As if on cue, Ava interrupted their conversation. “This is Mary.” Ava all but forced their hands together to shake. “She’s my boss, but she’s a good person. Don’t let her intimidate you.” 

“I’m plenty intimidating.” Mary growled jokingly at Ava, before giving Beatrice a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Beatrice. I’ve heard good things from Shannon.” 

“You as well.” Beatrice nodded.

“And this is Camila, my best friend and I guess… Well, technically she is also my boss now.” Ava explained animatedly. 

“It’s fantastic to meet you!” Camila pulled Beatrice into a hug; she was much more affectionate than Mary. 

“You too.” Beatrice replied. She had a million questions she wanted to ask about Ava, but it wouldn’t be proper to do so. At least, not yet.

“Alright, let’s get a move on. It’s freezing.” Shannon kicked the group into gear, leading everyone into a waiting car. It didn’t escape Beatrice’s notice how close Shannon kept to Mary.

Shannon gave the driver the address of the hotel that Camila and Mary were staying at. During the ride, they kept the conversation light and inconsequential. Tomorrow, at the office, they could dig into more serious topics. At the hotel, Shannon got out with Mary, to no one’s surprise. 

“Ava, are you coming?” Camila asked as she climbed out onto the sidewalk.

“I…” Ava had figured she would go with Beatrice, but now…

“She’s coming with me.” Beatrice spoke up, despite her better judgement. Most of Ava’s things were already at her flat… Plus she couldn’t bear the thought of an evening alone. Hopefully, Ava wouldn’t be angry about that. 

“Oh?” Camila smirked for the briefest second, then composed herself. “I’ll see you in the morning then.” 

“I can’t wait to tell you about everything!” Ava replied earnestly before Camila closed the door.

Beatrice gave the driver the address to her own building and he pulled around the corner. “Sorry for assuming, I just figured that -”

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Ava looked out the window, watching the city pass by. “I wanted to come back with you but… I was…” She struggled to complete her thought.

“I understand.” Beatrice told her in a whisper. Ava’s nervousness made her face burn, but thankfully it was too dark in the car to tell.

Back at Beatrice’s flat, they moved about each other with surprising awkwardness. It was as if talking to others broke the fantasy that they had been living in. Or perhaps, in the more conscious realisation of their feelings for one another, they had trouble keeping focused. Whatever the case may be, it was clear that something had changed between them. Eventually, they can’t put off going to bed any longer.

“Beatrice?” Ava leans against the doorjamb, shivering slightly in only her pajamas. “Do you… Will you join me?” 

“I…” Beatrice looked up from her nearly empty mug of tea. “Yes. I’ll be there in a minute.” She tried to keep herself composed.

“Okay. Thank you.” Ava whispered, before retreating into the room. 

At the counter, Beatrice gripped the tiles and tried to remain calm. There was no reason why this couldn’t be like every other night. She chastised herself silently, for her improper thoughts, for her indiscretion. It was no use, not even her disciplined brilliance could keep the thoughts of Ava out. A soft sigh escaped her chest as she dumped the dregs from her mug into the sink. One more night wouldn’t hurt, right? Wouldn’t change anything?

Softly, Beatrice padded into the guest room, to find Ava staring out the window. Below her, the city sparkled in a rainy haze, distorting the lights. 

“I’m tired.” Ava mumbled, sensing Beatrice beside her. 

“I know.” Beatrice resisted the urge to put an arm around her. “Me too.”

“I wish we didn’t have to go in tomorrow. I feel like I could sleep for three days straight.” 

“Perhaps during tomorrow’s meetings I can negotiate a day off?” Beatrice suggested gently. 

“Really?” Ava raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” 

“I don’t know.” Ava shrugged. “You seem so work-focused. It’s odd to hear you talk about a day off.” 

“I’m starting to realise that there’s more to life than just work.” Beatrice answered cryptically, retreating to the bed. 

“Starting to?!” Ava sounded offended, in a joking way. 

“Yes?” Beatrice smiled, something she found herself doing much more often than she ever had before. 

“And you say you don’t understand me.” Ava quipped, sliding into bed beside Beatrice. 

In the dark, their conversations came easier, as if unbound without the conventions brought by the light. “It was nice to see you with your friends today.” Beatrice whispered as Ava timidly wrapped an arm around her. 

“They’re more than friends. They’re my family… All I’ve got, really.” 

“Ava?”

“Yes?”

“When we first met, you mentioned that you didn’t have any real family, at least when you were recruited…” Beatrice almost didn’t finish her question. “What happened to them?” 

“They died.” Ava’s answer was short, harsh in its brevity. 

“How?” 

“Car crash. When I was young.” Ava took Beatrice’s hand and brought it to her arm. With gentle movements, she guided Beatrice’s fingers over a series of scars that decorated her forearm. “These scars are all I have left of them.” Beatrice didn’t answer immediately. Instead, despite the screaming in her mind, she pressed a delicate kiss to the site. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, finally.

“It’s not your fault.” Ava answered, thankful that Beatrice couldn’t see her cheeks burning in the dark. “I barely remember them. I know that’s awful, but I was only seven when they died.”

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice repeated, unsure of what else to say as she held Ava slightly tighter. 

“It’s alright.” Ava took a deep breath. She loved how her body fit beside Beatrice’s, though it was more than slightly distracting. 

Silence enveloped them for several moments, though neither woman was even close to sleep. The faint sounds of the city were audible through the closed window, but Beatrice found that oddly comforting. 

“Shannon got out with Mary. At the hotel.” Ava mumbled after a few minutes. 

“I know, I was there.” Beatrice answered. “I feel like you’re setting up to say:  _ I told you so. _ ”

“No…” Ava smirked, making Beatrice laugh. 

“You don’t think what they are doing is… Wrong?” Beatrice asked suddenly, a divergence into more serious conversation once more. 

“No.” Ava didn’t hesitate. “Not a popular opinion, I’m aware. But what they have is beautiful. At least, I think so.” 

“It might not be a popular opinion, but I agree with you.” Beatrice was extremely careful, lest she reveal more information than was strictly necessary. “And your view doesn’t surprise me either, if I’m being honest.” 

“Neither does yours.” Ava countered, with tension in her voice.

“What? Why?” 

“Between your chosen career and your wardrobe, it’s clear you don’t put a lot of stock in society’s standards for women.” Ava explained, a succinct and apt conclusion.

“That’s funny.” Beatrice would have laughed, if not for the anxiety that coated her thoughts. “I could easily say the same of you.” 

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“Would you?”

“Yes!” Ava giggled, clearly not as upset about the topic as Beatrice was. “You stress too much. Just do whatever you want, whenever you want. That’s the  _ Ava  _ method.” 

“Oh, I know. I’ve witnessed it firsthand.” Beatrice muttered, still thinking about the gun incident the day prior.

“You should try it some time…” Ava murmured, her words slightly slurred together. It was clear that she was only minutes from sleep. 

“Maybe I will.” Beatrice replied in a tiny voice, though she wondered if the sentiment was hollow. To truly do what she wanted… In the dim, ambient light, she looked down at Ava’s fine features. She could never bring herself to do it. With a heavy sigh, Beatrice tucked herself around Ava and closed her eyes. Ava was everything she ever wanted and everything she could never have. 

Beatrice hurried into the house. She pelted up the stairs before either of her parents started a conversation. After a long day at school, that was the last thing she wanted. Instead, she took refuge in her bedroom. From within her bag, Beatrice withdrew the purchase she made on the way home. It was a men’s jacket and she tried it on while looking in the mirror. 

It was too big, unsurprisingly. She was a slight sixteen year old, the store didn’t have sizes small enough to fit her. Still, Beatrice reckoned that with some alterations, it could fit. As much as she tried to deny it, she loved how the jacket looked. The sharp lines and masculine cut were preferable to her girly, Catholic school uniform.

“Beatrice?” Her mother opened the door without warning, startling Beatrice, who’d been in a world of her own. “What are you doing!?” 

“I’m -”

“Wait until your father hears about this!” Her mother sighed angrily, gesturing for Beatrice to follow her downstairs. She left the jacket on her bed and obliged. “And after everything, too.” She sounded disappointed, but Beatrice barely cared.

“I got a call from Sister Eunice today.” Her father began, sitting at the table. He had a penchant for the dramatic and positioned himself to reflect that. 

“Oh?” Beatrice played dumb, she wasn’t going to be tricked into confessing anything. 

“Don’t start with me.” He sounded disgusted. “She told me what you said at the confessional today.” 

Beatrice felt like she might be sick. Long gone was her apathetic mask, she was panicked and it showed on her face. 

“Confessions are supposed to be confidential.” She whispered.

“Perhaps, but I’m happy that Sister Eunice decided to call me.” Her father’s face was stony. “So we can deal with your… Perversion before it gets out of hand.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” 

“She told me that you have a crush on  _ a girl  _ in your class.” He spit, revealing his anger. “Lucky for you, it's 1956. When I was a kid, women were sent to the asylum for such… Issues.”

“Do you want to tell your father about the jacket you had upstairs?” Her mother finally chimed in, her arms crossed across her chest. 

“I bought a jacket on the way home.” 

“A  _ men’s  _ jacket.” 

“ _ Christ. _ ” Her father rubbed his temples in frustration. “Had I known you were going to be such a traitor to the beliefs of this family, I would have named you Judas.” He took a deep breath. “Actually, since you seem to be confused, Judith. That way, you’ll remember that you’re a  _ woman. _ ”

“Beatrice?” Ava’s gentle whisper echoed through the dream. Telling Ava  _ part  _ of this story on the train must have brought it to the forefront of Beatrice’s consciousness. It’d been years since she’d dreamt of her parents. 

“Hmm?” Beatrice opened her eyes. The room was still dark. 

“You were the one having a nightmare this time.” Ava’s voice was raspy with sleep. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m… Yes.” Beatrice wiped a tear from her face. “Sorry for waking you.” 

“That’s alright!” Ava was even more wrapped around Beatrice than she had been a few hours ago. “I’ve done the same to you. It’s no big deal, really.” 

“Still, I just -”

“Nope.” Ava laughed. “No apologies, no excuses. Trust me, I get it.” She pressed her head into Beatrice’s shoulder. “It’s still early. Try to get some more sleep before work, okay?” 

“Okay.” Beatrice agreed, not wanting to argue. Ava’s gentle words and kind embrace made Beatrice feel safe, despite the thoughts that whirled around her mind. 

“Goodnight… Or, good morning?” Ava mumbled. 

“Good morning.” Beatrice smiled slightly as Ava fell back to sleep. Her breathing slowed down and became more even as she rested in Beatrice’s arms. Somewhere along the way, Beatrice found a more peaceful slumber too. 

Morning still hit both women like a truck. With a reluctant sigh, Beatrice got up early, at the alarm’s angry urging. Ava followed her into the kitchen, adorably wrapped in the blanket. 

“It’s so  _ cold. _ ” Ava muttered as she stood beside Beatrice and held her hands over the stove. 

“The radiator is on.” Beatrice replied, nervous with Ava’s proximity. It seemed different, in the daytime, to have her close. 

“I know but…” Ava hesitated, considering her sentence. “English cold is weird. It gets stuck in your bones and stays for months.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice whispered. Ava was right, though the sentiment applied to more than just the cold. “Here’s your coffee.” 

“Thank you.” Ava gratefully took the mug from Beatrice’s hand and waddled over the table. Her movements were awkwardly confined by the blanket but it made Beatrice laugh.

“You can’t wear the blanket to work, you know.” Beatrice joked as she joined Ava.

“That’s a shame. Truly.” Ava giggled between sips of coffee. “It should be an exciting day, though.”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Well, Camila and Mary are here!” Ava began with a grin. “Plus, the thought of Camila and Lilith having to work together is…  _ Entertaining. _ ” 

“They have quite opposite personalities, huh?” Beatrice had only met Camila briefly, but her kind exuberance wouldn’t be matched in Lilith.

“That’s an understatement.” Ava raised an eyebrow. “Unless Lilith is actually super fun once you get to know her?” 

“No.” Beatrice didn’t need to consider the question. “She’s a good person and a loyal agent. But she’s not what I’d call  _ fun. _ ”

“Am I?” 

“Well, I still haven’t seen you dance yet, so I can’t answer definitively.” 

“Oh!” Ava laughed for several seconds before finally composing herself. “At first I didn’t think you were that funny, but you make me laugh quite often… But once this wound heals, I promise I’ll dance for you.” 

“I can’t wait.” Beatrice replied, bristling slightly from the compliment. She never considered herself a particularly funny person, but her playful banter with Ava was addictive. 

“Good, you should be excited!” Ava stood, having finished her coffee. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a very hot shower and as many layers of clothing as I can physically fit on my body.” She shuffled from the room before Beatrice could say anything. 

A cold, but uneventful journey to the office left them waiting outside the door to Shannon’s office. Mary, Shannon, Camila, and Lilith were already inside. For safety reasons, of course, Ava and Beatrice weren’t privy to their briefing. The harsh lights and austere environment seemed to suck the fun from any conversation that might be had, so they stood in silence. Eventually, they were called in, and Beatrice was more than thankful to be inside the expansive office instead of the narrow corridor. 

“Good morning.” Ava greeted everyone warmly, despite the serious atmosphere. 

“Good morning!” Camila was the only one who responded, just before she and Lilith retreated into the hallway.

“Beatrice, do you have the data from our contact?” Shannon asked, not wanting to hesitate a moment longer. 

“Yes, but we might have reason to doubt its validity.” Beatrice muttered, passing the parcel across the desk. 

“Why’s that?” Mary wondered.

“We went to meet the informant, as per our briefing.” Beatrice began explaining. “But something was… Off, for lack of a better word or explanation. They sold us out to the Stasi officers. At least, that’s what it seemed like. It could have just as easily been KGB operatives disguised as Stasi forces.” 

“Hmm…” Shannon tapped her fingers on the desk, an anxious habit of hers. Mary, without speaking, laid her hand over Shannon’s. “So you two think it was either a trap, or the contact needed the money? Or both?” 

“They definitely needed the money.” Ava interjected, without further elucidation. 

“How many men were there?” Shannon asked. The size of the deployed force might provide some insight into the situation. 

“A lot.” 

“Twelve.” Beatrice answered at the same time, with a more precise figure than Ava. “Plus the two at the crossing point. So fourteen, total.” 

“That’s a lot of men to be patrolling one section of the wall, especially on the section assigned for your crossing…”

“It’s definitely not a coincidence.” Mary mumbled, her tone gravelly.

“Nope.” Shannon agreed while she opened the packet of information. “You two seem to have a real knack for attracting danger.” 

“Perhaps…” Ava hung her head, she didn’t want Beatrice to get into trouble. 

“If it weren’t for Ava, I likely wouldn’t have made it back.” Beatrice reported, with a hint of pride in her voice. 

“Is that so?” Mary looked between them curiously. 

“Yes.” 

“I could say the same, though.” Ava protested quietly. 

“I think Mary and I made a good decision teaming you two up.” Shannon allowed herself a quick smile as she scanned the papers. “These are in German, but not in code. I’ll send them down to get an accurate translation.”

“Time permitting, we should have another assignment for you both later today. Or at least, the preliminary plans for one.” Mary continued, picking up perfectly where Shannon left off. “Please come back up at…” She checked the bulky watch on her wrist. “Say, four o’clock.”

“You got it boss.” Ava grinned, standing up with a slight wince.

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded to them both, much more refined than her partner. 

In the hallway, Camila and Lilith were still waiting. “Hey!” Camila gave Ava a gentle hug this time. “Do you want to go get breakfast?” 

“ _ God,  _ yes.” Ava was overjoyed to see Camila again. “Beatrice, you’re coming too right?” 

“I suppose I am.” Beatrice kept her cool, though only just. Lilith also followed them to the dining hall, though she seemed reluctant. 

“Where are you two headed?” Ava asked, once everyone was seated around a table.

“Latvia.” Lilith answered before Camila could. “You?” 

“We don’t know yet.” Beatrice told her. “Depends on the intel, I suppose.” 

“No offense, but you both look like you could use a few days of recovery before any mission.” Camila told them, though her intentions were pure. 

“Ha!” Ava giggled. “I agree. We’re going to try and convince Shannon for a day off, at least, before we’re sent out again.”   
“If you two could just avoid the constant hit squads, it might not be so bad.” Lilith added icily. 

“That’s fair.” Ava smirked, ignoring Lilith’s tone entirely. 

“Wait, what?” Camila wasn’t fully up to speed.

“Whatever we stole in Paris has made us… Well, we’re on the KGB hitlist, that’s for sure.” 

“There’s been three teams sent after us so far.” Beatrice added. “Plus the incident in East Berlin which seemed orchestrated.” 

“ _ Jesus. _ ” Camila whispered. She’d witnessed firsthand the damage a well-trained Soviet team could do. Ava and Beatrice’s survival was incredibly impressive. “I’m glad you’re both still with us.” 

“I mean, I did get stabbed.” Ava mumbled in a tiny voice. “Plus the amount of bruises between us leaves a lot to be desired.” 

“I leave you alone for a  _ week  _ and you get  _ stabbed?!” _ Camila’s worry bled into her words. “I ought to call Langley and have you recalled back to the States.” 

“No!” Ava protested, though Camila was only joking. Her reluctance to leave Beatrice was a far greater motivator than any potential mission. 

“Is Virginia that bad?” Lilith wondered, having never been there herself. While she wasn’t particularly fond of either American, or Beatrice for that matter, she did try to make polite conversation. She wasn’t immune to the loneliness of the occupation. 

“It’s fine, I guess.” Camila answered. 

“The food is wretched.” Ava reported through a mouthful of toast. “It’s warmer, though.” 

Banal conversation occupied another hour, before the two groups split up to fill out their mandated paperwork. Mission reports and summaries filled Ava and Beatrice’s morning, and bled into their afternoon. Barely a word was uttered between them, but they were never more than a few feet apart. From the opposite side of the office, Camila noticed their closeness, but didn’t comment on it. 

At three, an aide came to retrieve them. “Shannon needs you both.” He mumbled, slightly intimidated by Beatrice and Ava’s growing stardom within the agency. 

“Hm…” Ava glanced at the clock. “An hour early. Maybe this is a good sign!” 

“I’d like to hope so…” Beatrice whispered as she stood, though she wasn’t feeling particularly optimistic. 

The mood in Shannon’s office was downright grim. Even Ava managed to take her seat without comment, a rarity in itself. 

“Are either of you compromised?” Shannon began without preamble. 

“What?” Ava hadn’t expected that.

“No.” Beatrice answered simply and honestly.

“Oh.” Ava shook her head, trying to remain serious. “No, I’m not either.” 

“Good. What I’m about to tell you both cannot leave this room, understood?” They both nodded, so she continued. “Between the intel you both brought in and a few other leads that Mary has, we have reason to believe that Vincent is not only compromised, but actively working for the Russians.” 

“Vincent, as in…” Ava seemed shocked. 

“As in the head of MI6.” Mary concluded heavily. 

“This needs to stay between us, should we want any chance of exposing him. And, obviously, this mission will be off the books.” Shannon’s worry was etched onto her face. “I won’t lie, it will be dangerous. After the gauntlet you two have been through, I’d understand if you needed a day or two to consider it.” 

“Where would we be headed, exactly?” Beatrice, unlike Ava, wasn’t quite as willing to jump into danger. 

“Leningrad.” 

“Oh,  _ joy. _ ” Ava muttered, using her sarcasm to hide her nerves. It was a deference that Beatrice was becoming surprisingly accustomed to. 

“Like I said…” Shannon ignored Ava entirely. “Take a day to think about you. Both of you look like you could use it. Mary and I will draw up a briefing in the meantime.” 

“Alright, thank you.” Beatrice stood, trying to remain professional through the fear that rose in her through. Ava hesitated, but eventually stood up, keeping her face surprisingly neutral. 

“We’ll have you an answer by tomorrow night.” She told them, before leaving the office with Beatrice. “At least we get a day off!” Ava whispered, once they were out of earshot, though her smile was false. 

The train ride and subsequent walk back to Beatrice’s flat was tense. Both women were quiet, their thoughts firmly locked on the mission. It was rare that agents would be sent into Russia proper, it was far too dangerous. Shannon and Mary’s faith in them was flattering, however, as most operatives wouldn’t even be trusted with something so sensitive. Once the door was closed and locked behind them, rapid conversation broke out.

“What do you think?” Ava asked at once while she unbuttoned her coat.

“It’s dangerous.” Beatrice replied, though she wouldn’t deny that she was intrigued. 

“Yes.” Ava nodded. “But it’s important. Maybe the most important mission we’d ever have.” 

“I know, but…” Beatrice hesitated. “We’ve run into so much trouble lately. I’d hate to see what happens when we enter the heart of the U.S.S.R.”

“Is that really what you’re worried about?” Ava’s sharp gaze seemed like it was cutting through Beatrice. 

“I… Not entirely, I suppose.” She strode into the kitchen, almost compulsively, as if a cup of tea would solve all of her problems.

“If what Shannon says is true, then wouldn’t we be terrible people to turn this down?” Ava asked, following her into the room. “I’m not sure anyone else is capable.”

“You think we’re the only people who’d be able to pull it off?” 

“I mean, maybe.” Ava exhaled sharply. “We’ve taken out a lot of men already, just the two of us, and most of the time we didn’t even use our guns.” 

“That’s true…” Beatrice couldn’t argue with that; she and Ava were a formidable team. 

“And if the  _ head of MI6  _ is actively working with the Russians, that might cost hundreds of lives - if not more!” Ava slapped her hand on the table. “It would be selfish of us not to go.”

Beatrice hung her head for a moment. “You’re right. Vincent flipping potentially compromises the entire allied network - depending on how deeply they’ve managed to control him.” 

“That’s what I’m saying!” Ava was fired up. “If there was ever a mission worth dying for, this is it!” At that, Beatrice froze. Ava’s words made her feel ill. The thought of Ava dying for this, for anything, made her feel even worse. An unfamiliar anger burned through her veins, an emotion she hadn’t experienced in years. 

She turned around fiercely, abandoning the kettle on the stove. “I don’t want you to  _ die,  _ Ava!” Beatrice barely recognised her own voice as she shouted, it was painful and desperate. 

“I mean, I don’t either.” Her flippant answer only incensed Beatrice further. “I’m just saying, as an agent, sometimes it -”

“No.” 

“What do you care?!” Ava shouted back, frustrated with Beatrice’s interruption and dismissal. There was likely more contributing to the tension between them, even if both women were adamant on ignoring it. “We will complete our missions together, then I’ll go back to the U.S. Maybe we’ll see each other again, maybe we won’t. End of story.” 

“Is that what you think?” Beatrice’s voice cracked.

“No…” Ava hung her head. “I just -”

Ava didn’t finish her sentence before Beatrice’s lips crashed into her own. It was days of emotion poured into a single moment, shattering any illusion of a platonic friendship. An illusion which, in honesty, both women clung onto for much too long. With gentle, yet strong movements, Beatrice pressed Ava against the fridge, eliciting a small moan from the blonde woman.

Beatrice wound a hand into Ava’s hair, while her other hand found a place on Ava’s waist. Meanwhile, Ava held Beatrice’s burning cheek in one hand, while using the other to keep herself upright against the fridge. The moment seemed to stretch forever, but not long enough. After only a second, and several lifetimes, they finally broke apart - blushing and breathless.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I -” 

“No more apologies.” Ava chastised.


	13. An Exceptional Woman (or Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice enjoy a few days off before they have to leave again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok im writing another christmas fic because i can. there are no rules. i have no idea what im doing.

“I… Fine.” Beatrice took a step away, still in shock at what had just happened. A happy shock, though. “Not to be forward… Though I fear I already have been…” Beatrice stuttered uncharacteristically, while Ava stayed pressed against the fridge and struggled to catch her breath. “I think I might have been waiting to do that for awhile.” 

“Well, why didn’t you?” Ava smirked, though she was clearly flustered. 

“Are you still teasing me?” Beatrice asked, her tone an odd, confident nervousness. 

“Maybe.” Ava took a step forward. “Is that okay?” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she untied Beatrice’s hair from its tight bun. 

“Just like when we first met…” Beatrice breathed while her hair grazed her cheeks and Ava drew closer still. 

“Except, nothing like that.” Ava replied, before pressing her lips to Beatrice’s. It was more gentle than before, and slower, but the passion remained in their movements. She kept a hand on Beatrice’s face once they broke apart, a gentle reminder of her presence. 

“Nothing like that.” Beatrice echoed, feeling entirely outside of herself. 

“Like I said.” Ava grinned happily, before quickly retreating to the guest room. “I’m a dangerous woman.” 

“No, you’re not.” Beatrice whispered to herself as the door gently closed. She sighed, thinking it would provide some release from the whirlwind of emotions that seemed stuck in her chest. Yet, it did little to help. With mindless movements, she finished making her tea, thinking the routine would calm her down enough to string a full thought together. And it did, somewhat. Yet all those thoughts only led to questions, questions that Beatrice didn’t know if she had answers to. 

Guilt and joy competed for the domination of her mind, but ultimately left Beatrice feeling split. She didn’t regret kissing Ava, quite the contrary. Still, her father’s words echoed in her mind - an inescapable anchor on whatever happiness she might feel. Beyond her own turmoil, what was  _ Ava  _ feeling? What was she thinking? What did this mean?

As if she was psychic, Ava appeared in the doorway. “Are you okay?” She asked, now clad in her pajamas.

“Hmm?” Beatrice looked up from her tea, which had gone cold and untouched. “I just…” She didn’t know what to say.

“Oh, no.” Ava kept her gaze fixed to the floor. “Have I done something wrong? Perhaps this was a -”

“No, no!” Beatrice protested. If their interactions were awkward before, now they were on a whole new level. “Just… What does this mean? For us? For our… Partnership?” 

“I don’t know.” Ava seemed stressed about Beatrice’s opinion, but otherwise unbothered. She wasn’t fettered with the same trauma that burdened Beatrice. “I don’t think it needs to mean anything, if you didn’t want it to…”

“I do.” Beatrice answered in a hoarse whisper. “I mean, I can’t fathom this being meaningless. At least, it wasn’t to me.” She was trying to be as honest as possible, though it was difficult for Beatrice to do so - even without the training of her occupation.

“It wasn’t meaningless to me either. Anything but.” Ava paused in thought. “We’re trained to keep secrets. There’s no reason anyone needs to know and it’s not as if we could make an announcement, anyhow.” 

“I know…” Beatrice, despite herself, wanted to scream from the rooftops. “You don’t think it will impact our work?”

“Not if we don’t let it.” Ava was resolute. “I mean… I don’t think I can ignore how I feel - maybe you can, but -”

“I can’t.” Beatrice interrupted.

“Then we don’t have a choice. It’s either, we figure it out, or we end our partnership early. I’ll return to the U.S. and you’ll stay here. Maybe we’ll meet in passing once in a while, but that’s it.” Ava had clearly thought about this, a realisation that made Beatrice feel both lucky, and a little bit sick. 

“You’ve spent time considering your…  _ Our  _ options, haven’t you?” Beatrice wasn’t accusatory, but she was certainly curious.

“I have.” 

“Before you even knew if I felt the same way.” 

“I knew.” Ava smirked and Beatrice was unsure if she wanted to kiss her or attack her. Maybe both. 

“I’m a trained spy, you didn’t know!” Beatrice protested, though she loved Ava’s cocky confidence and banter. 

“And I’m not saying you’re bad at that, because you are probably the most talented agent I’ve ever met.” Ava giggled and her cheeks burned. “But I definitely had my suspicions, even if I wasn’t sure. Or maybe…” She suddenly became more serious. “Maybe I was just being hopeful.” 

“Ava…” Her sudden change in tone made Beatrice’s heart hurt - if only because she was intimately familiar with that painful longing.

She waved a hand. “It is what it is.” Ava sighed and composed herself. “I know what I’d like to do and how I’d like to continue. The question is, what do you want?” 

“I don’t know.” Beatrice almost smiled, but decided against it. “I want you to stay. I know that much.”

“I’ll stay.” Ava mumbled.

“Well… Now what?” 

“We go to bed?” Ava suggested, though it was barely six. Beatrice looked at her, then at the clock, then back at Ava. 

“Don’t you want dinner first?” Beatrice asked, clearly confused. 

“Oh! Yeah.” Ava grinned. “I forgot about that.” 

“You? Forgot about dinner?” 

“Yes?” 

“You must have a lot on your mind.” Beatrice muttered with a smirk as she rose from the counter.

“You could definitely say that.” Ava quipped. “Do you want help cooking?” 

“No, that’s alright. Just sit down.” Beatrice opened the fridge, though her thoughts were firmly stuck on how she kissed Ava against it - rather than dinner.

“Are you sure?” Ava was hesitant.

“Yes. I’d really love for that stab wound to be somewhat healed before we get to Russia.” 

“So, we’re going?” 

“You’re right. It’s important.” Beatrice pulled out a few ingredients and turned her attention to the adjacent cupboard. 

“It is. But it will be dangerous, too.” Ava sat down at the kitchen table, though her gaze followed Beatrice around the kitchen. “It would be naïve to think anything different.” 

“Agreed.”

“What’s Shannon’s phone number?” Ava asked suddenly, removing the phone from the receiver. Beatrice told her, and Ava quickly keyed in the digits.

“Hello?” Shannon answered almost immediately. 

“Hi!” Ava sounded surprisingly cheerful.

“Ava.” Shannon mumbled and Mary’s whisper was vaguely audible in the background.

“Yes, it’s me. Beatrice and I don’t need any more time to decide. We’re in.” Ava reported, sending a nervous chill down Beatrice’s spine as she cooked.

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“I still want to hold off on sending you out immediately. Between the injuries and the back-to-back missions, I feel like you’ve both earned a few days off.” 

“That would be nice…” Ava trailed off, as her thoughts immediately turned to Beatrice. 

“Take the next two days.” Shannon instructed. “But be careful. On the third day, I’ll expect you both at the office for a full briefing.”

“Understood.” Ava nodded. 

“Glad to hear it. Have a good evening.” 

“You too!” Ava added with a slight giggle.

“What did she say?” Beatrice inquired once Ava hung up. 

“We have the next two days off, then we need to go into the office for a full briefing.” Ava relayed the message.

“Two days, not just one? That’s lucky.” Like Ava, Beatrice also thought about how they would fill those next two days. 

“I know!” Ava’s smile grew wider. “Which gives me an idea. Actually, a few.” 

“Oh?” Beatrice didn’t know if she should be excited or worried.

“Firstly, I could go shopping.” 

“Of course.” 

“But then…” Ava’s voice dropped to a low whisper. “Maybe I could take you out on a date.”

“I… What…” Beatrice stuttered. “What did you have in mind?” She tried to regain her composure but Ava wasn’t fooled. 

“Sorry, that was too forward. I wouldn’t say no to revisiting that Italian place, though.” Ava hesitated, but continued. “Preferably without the hitmen this time.” 

“I’ll ask them to reschedule.” Beatrice joked, hoping to fall into a more comfortable banter with Ava. She’d been more honest and forthcoming this evening alone than she had been in the last five years combined. 

“Funny.” Ava seemed to sense Beatrice’s discomfort and didn’t press the issue. 

“I’d like that, though.” Beatrice added in a tiny voice. “To go out, I mean… On a… Date.” 

“Really?” Ava’s wide grin was endearing.

“Yes.” Beatrice tried to turn her attention back to cooking, but it was a borderline impossible task. 

The next night, as promised, they found themselves back at the restaurant. Just as it had during their last visit, the city sat within a bright fog. Ava stared out the window, until the waiter interrupted her messy thoughts.

“You two again!” He flashed them both a friendly smile. “Welcome back!” 

“Thank you!” Ava matched his energy, despite her distractions. “The food was so good, I couldn’t seem to help myself.” 

“Oh, I get that!” He laughed, as did Ava. Beatrice stayed silent, preferring to watch the interaction than participate in it. “Can I get either of you a drink to start off with?” 

“A whiskey sour, please.” Ava grinned.

“The same for me, please.” Beatrice told him.

“Coming right up, for my  _ favourite  _ customers.” He hurried across the room, leaving the two of them alone. 

“He’s so friendly.” Ava remarked once the waiter was out of earshot. 

“I think he’s flirting with you.” 

“What? No, he’s not!” Ava seemed perplexed at the very notion. “Why?” 

“Because you’re beautiful?” Beatrice reported. It was obvious to her and the answer required no thought. “And you’re quite charismatic, when you care to be.” 

  
“I suppose I have my moments.” Ava smirked, but grew more serious a moment later. “This feels  _ different  _ than last time.”

“It is different, I suppose.” Beatrice sighed and followed Ava’s gaze out the window. “Well, it’s the same, but different.”

“Very eloquent.” Ava teased, if only to alleviate the tension. “I didn’t mean this to be awkward, I just… I don’t really know what I’m doing, if we’re being honest here.” 

“Neither do I.” Beatrice found Ava’s admission heartwarming and relatable. She felt the same. “I’ve never been on date before, with anyone.” 

“I have once or twice… But it was meaningless, there was no spark.” Ava turned and made eye contact with Beatrice. “With you, I find myself caring a lot more.  _ Feeling  _ a lot more.” 

“Me too.” Somehow, Ava had managed to explain what Beatrice could barely acknowledge, let alone find words for. 

Silence enveloped them for a few minutes, only to be shattered when the waiter returned. “Here we are!” He set a cocktail in front of them both. 

“Thank you!” Ava replied happily.

“Thank you.” Beatrice echoed without the enthusiasm. 

“Of course!” He nodded and retreated as quickly as he appeared. 

“We could just get really drunk.” Ava suggested offhandedly. “To help with the awkwardness.” 

“While I am curious what drunk Ava has to say, I can’t imagine it’s a good idea.” Beatrice looked out the window, then back at Ava. “Especially since we seem to get attacked nearly daily.” 

“That’s true.” Ava smiled humourlessly and took a sip of her drink. “It’s been a rough few weeks.”

“That’s an understatement.” Beatrice felt as though the last few missions had aged her beyond her years. Beneath her coat, her body ached - not to mention the brutal gash that adorned her face. It had bruised tremendously over the past few days, leaving an angry wound amongst a sea of purple. 

“We did get to sleep in today, though. Which was nice.” And it was nice, though Ava neglected to mention how they’d spent the first hour after waking cuddled in the warm bed. The odd kiss may or may not have been exchanged. 

“It definitely was.” Beatrice smiled at the memory, though she felt clouded with worry. Their journey to Russia would be undeniably dangerous. The incident in Berlin had already been a perilous affair and Beatrice wasn’t keen to relive it. “Do you think you’ll be healed by then?”

“Not fully.” Ava pressed an inconspicuous hand to her wound. “But even after I ripped it back open, it doesn’t hurt as badly. That has to be a good sign, right?” 

“I’m not sure it works like that…” 

“You know what will help?” 

“What?” Beatrice let herself get fooled by Ava’s excitement; she thought that Ava was going to offer a genuine idea.

“Pasta!” She laughed, diffusing the tension that seemed to ebb and flow between them. 

“I’m amazed that you’ve kept this position with how infrequently you take matters seriously.” Beatrice told her a couple minutes later, once the requisite dishes of pasta sat before them. 

“Just because I’m joking doesn’t mean I’m not also serious.” Ava retorted. “Sorry. That came off a bit sharper than I intended.”

“That’s alright.” Beatrice conceded, realising her own observation was slightly harsh. 

“I know you’re only saying it because you’re worried about my safety, which is sweet, and makes me feel emotions that I cannot describe.” Ava paused to take a few bites of food. “This job can be demoralising and terrifying and scary and awful and whatever other words you care to throw at it. Sometimes, a little injection of humour is the only way I feel as though I can cope with it.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice whispered. Ava was right, of course, though Beatrice had never considered it in the same way she had. Which, with Ava, was a common occurrence. 

“I worry that, should I lose my levity, I would quickly become… I don’t know…” Ava’s hands trembled slightly as she continued. “I think it would be easy to fixate on how I nearly lost a fight and got stabbed with my own weapon. Had I made one wrong move, it could have cost me my life. Or yours. And there’s dozens of these occurrences - hell, we’ve had at least five!” 

“I think most of us have coping mechanisms.” Beatrice thought about her own nervous habits. “Yours sometimes… Frustrates me.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologise, especially since we’re both trying not to do so.” Beatrice allowed herself a slight smile. “I just worry that you aren’t taking your own safety as seriously as I wish you would.” 

“I am, despite the jokes. Believe it or not, I’m not ready to die yet.” Ava reported through mouthfuls of pasta. 

“Good.” Beatrice felt greedy, selfish. She wanted to spend a  _ lot  _ more time with Ava - which wouldn’t be a possibility if either of them perished.

“Good.” Ava agreed as her grin returned. 

Another surprisingly restful day passed before they found themselves back in Shannon’s office. “I know it’s sudden, but can you both be ready to leave tomorrow? I wish I could give you more time but… Well, that’s not a luxury we have right now.” 

“We can.” Ava answered first. 

“Good.” Shannon turned to Mary, who handed her a thick file. “These are for you.” She passed a packet to each of them. 

“We’re… Flying?” Beatrice whispered, feeling herself tense at the prospect. The first page of the packet were two plane tickets to Helsinki. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Shannon was genuinely sympathetic. “From there, you’ll take a train into Russia proper, and onto Leningrad.” 

“We’ve had fake papers made up for you both.” Mary continued where Shannon left off. “Everything is in those packets.”

Ava rifled through them. There was a fake passport, with her photo in it, as well as a letter from Cambridge. It explained the research project she was undertaking with Beatrice.

“Why do you keep making me an  _ English  _ student?” Ava asked. “I hate having to talk in an accent. I sound like an idiot.” 

“Hey!” Beatrice objected, though she was thankful for the distraction. 

“Americans draw too much attention.” Mary told her.

“We have a contact who seems to be willing to meet with you, though they might take some convincing.” Shannon explained. 

“Convincing as in…?” Ava raised an eyebrow. 

“Beat them up.” Mary suggested. 

“Or have a rational discussion.” Shannon countered, giving Mary a  _ look.  _ “There’s also an extra allowance of Rubles, should you need to grease the gears a bit.” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded, hoping that violence would only be a last resort. 

“I’m sure you’re both aware how dangerous this mission will be.” Mary grew more serious. “Stick to your stories and take extra precaution. Seriously.” She looked at Ava when she said this. 

“I will, I will.” Ava sensed that she was being singled out. 

“If anything goes wrong, just retreat and get somewhere safe.” Shannon told them both. “I don’t care if we lose the data, but I’d hate to lose either of you. If the KGB managed to get ahold of you…” She didn’t continue. Everyone in the office knew what happened to agents that were captured on mission. It was a fate to which death was far preferable. 

“Understood.” Beatrice replied with gravel in her tone. If she wasn’t nervous before, she certainly was now. 

“Good news though, you’ve both been approved for some of the more…  _ Fun  _ weapons in the armoury.” Mary added with a tiny smile. “I hope you don’t have to use them, of course, but they will definitely be nice to have.”

“Agreed.” Ava answered. She didn’t want their mission to turn violent, but it seemed like an inevitability. 

That night they laid in bed, together, of course. “I’m sorry we have to fly.” Ava whispered. Her voice was tired.

“It’s not your fault.” With Ava’s warmth in her arms, Beatrice could barely find the energy to worry. 

“I’ll hold your hand the entire time, if that helps?” 

“It does.” Beatrice smiled in the dark. It was odd that she’d be so frightened, especially since her luggage was full of weapons. Sometimes, fear isn’t logical.

“It’s a short flight, at least.” Ava added; a small comfort. “Three hours isn’t terrible.”

“It’s the train ride I’m more worried about.” 

“Oh.” 

“The border crossing would give an assassin time to slip on undetected, or even with the help of the Soviet forces. We’ll need to be ready for the eventuality.” Beatrice hated how coldly logical she sounded, but she couldn’t help herself. Part of her felt as though, if she went over the plans enough, she could guarantee Ava’s safety.

“I know. I read the same briefing as you did.” Ava told her, though she was sympathetic to Beatrice’s stress. 

“Sorry, sorry.” 

“It’s okay! I’m stressed and scared too, I get it.” Ava gently pressed her lips to Beatrice’s shoulder. “We need to make sure we’re hyper aware and careful at all times. But we’re not going to be able to do that if we can’t calm down enough to fall asleep tonight.” 

“Even if it weren’t for the mission, I think I might have trouble with that…” 

“What? Why?” Ava missed Beatrice’s implication entirely. 

“Because there’s a beautiful woman laying in my arms.” Beatrice explained, slightly breathless. “A beautiful woman who, astoundingly, feels the same way towards me that I feel towards her.”    
“There’s nothing astounding about that.” Ava placed several more kisses across Beatrice’s collarbone. “You’re an exceptional woman.”


	14. The Honeypot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ava arrive in Leningrad. Some things go according to plan, others do not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not getting this up yesterday, but this is chapter is a quite bit longer than normal. also i was working on the upcoming christmas fic simultaneously. still, sorry for the delay.

Beatrice sat by the window, wishing desperately that she could force it open. Ava, true to her word, sat beside her, holding Beatrice’s hand in her own.

“What’s your favourite food?” Ava asked suddenly, distracting Beatrice from her panic. At least, slightly. 

“I’m not sure I have a favourite…” Beatrice answered quietly. In not wanting to disappoint Ava, though, she continued to think about it. 

“Okay, what if we were talking about desserts  _ only? _ ” Ava followed up with a more specific question. Her motives were about as plain as they could be, but Beatrice appreciated the effort nonetheless. Between her claustrophobia and the cigar smoke that clouded the plane’s cabin - she was finding it increasingly hard to stay calm.

“If it’s winter, then my answer is sticky toffee pudding.” 

“Oh, good choice.” Ava smiled gently. “But what about in summer?” 

“Knickerbocker glory. Or just ice cream in general.” Beatrice had very few happy memories of childhood, but she distinctly remembered many a summer day in Cornwall - and the ice cream shop at the beach there. 

“Both good and respectable choices.” Ava sounded pleased with her answers, as if they were of great significance. 

“May I ask you the same question?” 

“Of course.” Ava laughed, then moved in alarmly close, to whisper her answer. “I hope this doesn’t blow my cover… But a good apple pie is second to none.” Beatrice couldn’t help but smile at Ava’s caution, though she wasn’t entirely wrong. Few Britons would have such an affinity for such an American dish. 

“I can’t say I’m overly surprised by that.” Beatrice replied.

“I didn’t think you would be.” Ava didn’t seem bothered. “If you could tame any animal and have it as a pet, what would you pick?” 

“How do you think of these insane questions?” 

“I’m quirky like that.” Ava giggled. 

“I mean… If it was  _ any  _ animal… I’d have to pick some type of big cat. A jaguar, maybe.” Beatrice reasoned.

“You might have to move, then.” Ava thought briefly of Beatrice’s compact flat being occupied by a massive cat.

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Beatrice rubbed her temples at Ava’s ridiculousness. “What animal would you choose?” 

“Oh, a bear. I’ve thought about this before.” 

“Why am I not surprised by this?” 

“Bears are so  _ cute! _ ” Ava retorted. “And we could cuddle and it would keep me warm.”

“I could keep you warm…” Beatrice whispered, basically inaudible, but Ava could read her lips. 

“I mean this with the utmost respect, but you’re not that big. Nor are you entirely covered in hair. You can call me once you weigh eight hundred pounds and stand nine feet tall.” 

“I better get eating, then.” Beatrice quipped, happy to fall into easy banter with Ava. Before she could reply, the pilot’s voice echoed through the cabin’s crackly speakers. 

“We’re beginning our descent into Helsinki. The local time is ten thirty and the weather is currently negative two degrees and snowy. Please refrain from moving about the plane until we have reached our destination.” 

Beatrice tore her gaze from Ava and looked out the window. Below them, a stark white landscape drew closer. A sense of relief washed over her, despite the increasing danger of their mission, she couldn’t wait to get off the plane. 

“Negative  _ two?! _ ” Ava shivered just thinking about it. “I’m going to get hypothermia.” 

“Maybe you should find your bear friend to keep you warm.” Beatrice told her, making them both laugh.

It was only an hour later when they found themselves aboard a bustling train, heading into the heart of the Soviet Union. While tucked away in their cabin, Ava and Beatrice watched the snowy wilderness fly past the window. 

“Are you nervous?” Beatrice asked. Ava, for all the frustration her flippancy could bring, was usually unbothered by stressful situations. It was one of many qualities that Beatrice envied. 

“Yes.” Ava answered quietly, surprising Beatrice. “Though, not as much as I probably should be.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I am nervous.” Ava began carefully. “But I am worried about… Well, I feel more stressed about the less essential aspects of this mission.” 

“That barely answers my question.” Beatrice told her. 

“I worry about you.” Ava snapped. She wasn’t harsh, necessarily, it was clear that her frustration was internal. “Sorry. I just… I care more about how you make it out of this mission than the data or its impact. I know that means my priorities are out of order, or whatever… But I’m trying to be honest with you.” 

“I appreciate that.” And genuinely, Beatrice did. She admired the ease with which Ava revealed her emotions. “And I think I would be lying if I told you I didn’t share some of the same concerns.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes! Is it so unbelievable that I might care about you?” 

“Kind of, sometimes.” Ava didn’t look away from the window. “You’re just…  _ Wow. _ And I’m… Not?” 

“That certainly wasn’t your most eloquent of descriptions…” Beatrice teased, though she was grateful Ava wasn’t looking at her, lest she see the blush that crept across Beatrice’s cheeks. “But once again, you might be surprised to learn that I feel the same about you.” 

“Weird.” Ava smiled, still unable to believe her fortune. 

“Do you want to know what’s even weirder?” Beatrice’s voice was unmistakably tense and slightly competitive. 

“What?” Now Ava’s curiosity was piqued. 

“I’m going to go buy you a coffee.” Beatrice stood and the breeze from the open window blew her hair around. 

“No.” Ava rose, leaving very little space between them. 

“What? Why?” Beatrice was genuinely confused, as Ava’s tone had been surprisingly harsh. 

“I don’t want you to go alone, is all. Not now.” 

“Oh.” Beatrice sighed, unsure of how to feel. “Okay. Well, let’s go then.” She slid open the cabin door and Ava quickly followed her to the dining carriage. 

“This is starting to feel really familiar.” Ava remarked as they sat in a secluded booth at the end of the car. 

“It is.” Beatrice agreed with a nod. “I don’t hate it, actually.”

“Me neither.” Ava paused as the waiter brought them their drinks, only to continue once he departed. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already have, but go ahead. Normally, you don’t give me such a preamble, so this must be a heavy one.” 

“Other… People on our career path - they all have vices. Smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, what have you. You don’t, at least, not that I’ve witnessed. Why?” Ava asked, with surprising seriousness. 

“I don’t know.” Beatrice didn’t have an answer, not anything concrete, at least. “I’ve seen others tear their lives apart with such things, when combined with how stressful this job can be. I guess I just didn’t want to follow that same route.” 

“I understand.” 

“What about you?” 

“Oh, I’m a raging alcoholic.” Ava kept a straight face, but Beatrice knew she was joking and stifled a laugh. “But, I feel the same as you. Well, I think smoking is just gross, but that’s beside the point.” 

“Actually, you’re wrong.” Beatrice argued, with a sudden realisation. 

“Oh?” 

“Your vice is humour.” Beatrice smiled slightly. “And that terribly frustrating and flippant deflection you seem so fond of.” 

“I didn’t realise you felt so strongly about it.” Ava crossed her arms, though her pouting was clearly false. 

“When we first met, I wondered if you were a little bit insane…” Beatrice admitted from behind her mug. 

“Wow…” Ava laughed. “Just because I’m fun, I must be crazy. I see how it is.” Her smile made Beatrice’s heart pound. “You know what, maybe I will try and meet a bear while we’re in Russia. I’m sure it will appreciate my humour.” 

“Maybe he’ll laugh at your jokes while he’s mauling you to death.” Beatrice whispered, before bursting out into giggles. It was the most she’d laughed in years and she didn’t even care if other passengers were staring at them. 

“Shhh...” Ava suddenly shushed her, with surprising intensity. “Keep calm.” She mouthed, just as the door to the dining cart slid open. Ava had been watching the reflection of the door in the window, Beatrice quickly realised. Both women sat quietly, as two burly men traipsed through the carriage. They looked around, but didn’t seem particularly interested in any of the passengers.    
  


“Do you think they’re here for us?” Ava asked, once the men had left through the other door.    
“Maybe.” Beatrice considered the issue. “But maybe not. They didn’t  _ seem  _ like they recognised us. It might be standard practice for any trains crossing into the Soviet Union.” 

“Best to be extra cautious, then.” Ava mumbled, fiddling slightly with the ring on her finger. Her usual confidence seemed slightly deflated. 

They were back in their cabin when the train stopped at the border crossing. It was an arduous affair, as Soviet officers spoke with the passengers of each cabin individually. Eventually, a tired-looking man slid open the door to their cabin.

“Pochemu ty zdes?” He asked, without expression. 

“Uhh… Sorry, do you speak English?” Ava inquired, though she understood what he had said. 

“Yes.” He shook his head, slightly disgusted at the prospect. “Why are you here? In Russia.” His speech was heavily accented, but understandable enough. 

“We’re here for uni.” Beatrice chimed in, passing him the falsified letter from Cambridge, explaining their ‘research project.’

“Very well.” He barked. “Your papers?” 

Both Ava and Beatrice handed him their fake passports, which he gave barely more than a cursory glance. “Good.” He nodded. “Enjoy your trip.” And with that, he roughly slid the door shut and continued on his way. 

“That went better than expected.” Ava whispered once they heard him walk down the corridor. 

“Thank  _ God  _ for that…”

Ava leaned back against the seat. A few minutes later, the train began to move once more. 

“Of course, there’s still those two mysterious men who may, or may not, still be aboard.” Ava added.

“I don’t want to have to kill them…” 

“Neither do I.” 

“But if they  _ are  _ here for us, I don’t see another choice.” Beatrice hated her logical assessment of the situation, but she wasn’t wrong. “If we were to subdue them, they’d wake up and report what happened. Of course, if they go missing, there will be an investigation, but hopefully we’d be gone by then…” 

“Do you know if this train turns around in Leningrad?” 

“It does, why?” 

“Well, if it comes to it, we could find a way to keep them subdued long enough to catch a return journey to Helsinki.” Ava began, trying to find a less violent and permanent solution. “That’ll buy us at least a few hours, provided that they can find a way to call in from there.” 

“We need more than a few hours, Ava.” Beatrice hated to shoot her down like this. “We’re not leaving the city until tomorrow morning.” 

“I know, I know…” Ava sighed heavily and looked out the window. “What if they didn’t see us?” 

“That could work… Unless they already know what we look like.” 

“They didn’t seem to while we were in the dining carriage, although that could have been all an act.” Ava knew she would have done the same. “Ugh…” She sank lower in her seat. “I hate this” 

“Maybe it won’t be an issue?” Beatrice tried to be hopeful, though her tone betrayed her. 

“If they are here for us, that means Soviet forces are aware that we’re entering the country…” Ava muttered. “So much for the element of surprise.” 

“Operatives and their handlers like to talk a big game, but I think surprises are quite rare these days. Every mission between nations is like an orchestrated dance, where both sides play their scripted part.” Beatrice replied, perhaps overly cynical, but not wrong.

“While that was beautifully described, I’m not sure if I would agree with you. What happened in Berlin was definitely a surprise to everyone.” 

“Fair point.” Beatrice pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to will away the frustrated headache that was growing beneath her brow.

“I guess the best we can do is hope that they are routine installations aboard this route - and that they’re not here for us.” Ava muttered, clearly wanting a more defined solution to their problem. 

“I suppose…” Beatrice whispered, though any further conversation was interrupted by the door to their cabin sliding open. The universe sometimes has a sense of irony. 

“You two.” One of the burly men grumbled, pointing between them. “With us. Now.” 

“Speak of the devil.” Ava whispered, standing to follow them. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Beatrice told her, in a murmur. 

They followed the guards down the narrow corridor, through several different carriages. Eventually, they found themselves in an odd little office at the back of the train. It was here that the guards gestured to the two chairs positioned in front of a massive desk. Ava and Beatrice sat without protest. One of the men sat on the other side of the desk, while the other watched the door. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, folding his massive fingers together on the wooden surface. 

“Do you have a name, sir?” Ava asked with a surprisingly casual smile. 

“Alexei.” He told her, slightly confused. “Now, why are you here?” 

“Wait, I didn’t get his name!” Ava pointed to the guard at the door. Beatrice, meanwhile, did everything in her power not to roll her eyes.

“He is Dima.” Alexei reported, growing frustrated. “He doesn’t speak any English, so please, answer my question now.” 

“We’re travelling to Russia for our research.” Beatrice spoke up, unwilling to let Ava do…  _ Whatever  _ it was that she was doing.

“Yes, that is what the border patrol officer told me.” Alexei seemed to be winding up for something. “But Leningrad Polytechnic Institute isn’t currently accepting any international students.” 

“We’re not here for a full semester.” Beatrice replied, working hard to stay calm. “Only for a brief visitation with a few experts in the field.”

“Is that so?” Alexei looked skeptical. Beatrice exchanged a glance with Ava, who gave an imperceptible nod towards Dima, as if to say:  _ I’ve got that one. _ “Zaderzhite ikh!” Alexei shouted, spurring all four of them into action.

Beatrice sprang from her chair and dove across the desk, hoping to catch Alexei off balance as he stood from his chair. When fighting someone much bigger than yourself, it is important to retain any advantage that you can. Thankfully, she managed to knock him to the ground, though her own landing was less than ideal. She stood before he could and quickly snapped a leg from the chair - since all their weapons were still in the cabin.

Ava jumped up as fast as Beatrice did, though she turned her attention to Dima. With a practiced hand, she smacked his head against the sturdy door, making his vision swim. Dima fell to his knees a moment later and Ava leveled a sharp kick across his face. He was unconscious before he even hit the floor. Meanwhile, Beatrice smashed Alexei’s head with her ‘weapon,’ achieving the same result. 

“Now what?” Ava asked, as they stood above the two unconscious men.

“They didn’t know about our mission - but they thought our cover was suspicious. That’s… Surprising, I suppose.” 

“I don’t want to kill them… But…” Ava tried to reason her way out of further violence. 

“I know.” Beatrice stood without moving, preferring to wait for Ava to make a decision.

After a few moments of silence, Ava gestured to the radiator in the corner. “We can tie them to the radiator and lock the door from the outside. With any luck, they won’t be discovered or able to escape until the train is back in Finland. Plus, the first place they’d likely look for us is at the university… I  _ know  _ it’s not ideal, nor as clean as if we just killed them… But I can’t make myself do it in cold blood. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I understand.” Beatrice dragged Alexei over to the radiator and removed his belt, threading it around his thick wrists and then through the wrought iron of the radiator. In truth, she would have killed them both, but she didn’t want to make Ava upset. Her reasoning was sound enough, and the guards wouldn’t have much of a lead - provided they remembered everything after the head trauma. 

While Beatrice restrained the men, Ava took apart the interior door lock. Using her hair pin and a slim blade she had concealed in her boot, she took apart the entire mechanism. 

“Okay, this can only be locked from the outside now.” Ava mumbled, nervous that Beatrice was frustrated with her mercy. 

“Good.” She shoved the men’s socks into their mouths, to keep them from shouting for help. Then, Beatrice hung one of their jackets over the tiny window on the door. “I can’t wait to get out of this tiny room.” 

In the corridor, Beatrice stood beside Ava while she tinkered with the lock once more. After a few minutes, she straightened up with a grin. 

“That should do it.” 

“Why do you look so happy?” 

“Well, it’s not  _ just  _ locked from the outside.” She smiled as they walked back to their cabin, trying to seem nonchalant. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” This part was added with a wink. “I might have  _ accidentally  _ broken the mechanism. They’ll likely need a professional to get them out.” 

“An accident…” Beatrice mused, sitting back down in their chilly cabin. The influx of fresh air, icy or otherwise, calmed her more than she cared to admit. Ava sat across from her, cheeks slightly flushed from the exertion of a few minutes prior. 

“I’m sorry.” Ava whispered suddenly, her face turning to stone.

“Why?” Of course, Beatrice knew why, but she wanted Ava’s full explanation. 

“I know that we should have killed them.”

“Oh?” It was brutal, but Beatrice didn’t necessarily disagree.

“They’re just doing their jobs! As misguided as it may be…” Ava stared out the window and her hair blew in the wind. Beatrice thought she looked slightly wild; untamed and beautiful. “Once we had subdued them, I don’t know… I don’t think I could have made myself do it.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice murmured. And she did. “I don’t know if I agree, but I understand.”

“You would have done it then?” 

“To protect you?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow. “Absolutely.” She knew she’d kill more than two guards if it came to protecting Ava. 

“Even in cold blood and not during the heat of battle?” Ava still seemed shocked.

“Yes.” 

“Hmm…” Ava looked down at her shoes, then back out the window. Anywhere except at Beatrice’s face, really.

“Do you think less of me now?” Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder, couldn’t help but fear.

“No.” 

The rest of the journey was unremarkable, if not tense. They spent the next hour in near silence, though Beatrice kept close watch over Ava. Her thoughts were a thousand miles away and her eyes seemed clouded as they watched the wintery scene pass by. Eventually, the train reached the platform in Leningrad, signalling the end of another shared train journey - which true to form, was marred by violence. 

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Ava whispered as they disembarked onto the platform. “It’s so cold.” She shivered beneath her numerous layers. 

“You’ll survive.” Beatrice quipped, taking Ava’s arm and leading her across the station to a secondary platform.

“Barely.” Ava muttered sardonically, though she savoured the feeling of Beatrice leading her. 

It was dark by the time they reached their hotel. “Registratsiya?” The front desk attendant asked with a kind smile. 

“You don’t, by any chance, speak English - do you?” Ava wondered with a charismatic smile. 

“A bit.” The woman laughed slightly.

“We have a reservation.” Ava reported, sliding her a packet of papers. 

“Da. Very good.” She flipped through the various approvals and reservations - all of which were made by Shannon and Mary. It wasn’t what Beatrice usually dealt with, but she knew that this could be a lot of work. For missions in Soviet countries there were a lot of hoops to jump through when making bookings by, and for, westerners. “Here are the… Klyuchi.” She handed Ava two keys with an apologetic smile.

“Spasibo bol'shoye.” Ava thanked her, intentionally butchering her Russian, as well as speaking with an English accent beneath that. It was an impressive piece of linguistic work and Beatrice was, once again, taken with Ava’s skill. 

“Ah!” The attendant threw up a hand. “You’re learning, then!?” 

“I’m trying!” Ava replied, before heading towards the building’s elevator. 

Once they were safely tucked away in Beatrice’s hotel room, she scrawled a message out on a pad for Ava to read.  _ Room might be bugged. Don’t mention anything sensitive aloud.  _ Ava nodded and silently admired Beatrice’s flawless handwriting. A moment later, she scrawled out a note of her own.  _ I’m well aware of the precautions.  _ In contrast, Ava’s handwriting was sharp and edgy, clearly less practiced. 

Beatrice shot her an apologetic look. This was no way to have a conversation. Vehemently, Beatrice wrote out one more message.  _ I don’t mean to be a jerk - just trying to be careful.  _ Ava read it and gave Beatrice a gentle smile, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Message received, then? The two of them darted about, making preparations and changing their outfits. 

At six thirty, Beatrice knocked on Ava’s door. It swung open a few moments later. 

“Are you ready for dinner?” She stuttered, taken with Ava’s beauty for the umpteenth time. Her face was free of makeup and her wild blonde waves were only barely contained. She looked more rested than Beatrice had ever witnessed, likely a result of their time off and continued nights spent together in calm slumber. 

“Are you okay?” Ava asked with genuine concern, unaware of the effect she was having on Beatrice 

“Hmm? Yes.” Beatrice smiled and took Ava’s hand in her own as they walked down the hallway. “You look really nice tonight.” 

“Thank you.” Ava gave Beatrice’s hand a squeeze. “You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” 

Beatrice didn’t reply, though the ferocious blush that crept across her cheeks spoke for her. She barely even panicked during their brief time in the elevator, since her mind was still locked on Ava. Back in the lobby, they released their grip on one another, but still crossed the cold room in close proximity. 

“Our meeting is just north of here.” Beatrice said, once they had reached the snowy sidewalk. “We’ve got time though. Where do you want to eat?” 

“I can’t say I’ve been here often.” Ava replied, having only visited Russia on one other occasion, albeit to a different region. “You?” 

“Same.” Beatrice had a similar lack of experience about the enigmatic city of Leningrad. “But I did read the odd and slightly stilted visitor’s brochure that the hotel leaves in every room.” 

“Oh?” Ava’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did it recommend any good restaurants?”

“A few… But Russian cuisine leaves a lot to be desired.” She sighed and began walking. Their shoes crunching through the icy snow. “The country is crippled with shortages, so the food culture isn’t as rich as it once was.” 

“This conflict seems to affect every aspect of life.” Ava observed quietly, as she strode beside Beatrice and took in the city around her.

They ducked into a reportedly popular establishment, about midway between their hotel and the location where they would later rendezvous with the contact. The waiter led them to a table by the window, with polite, yet cold mannerisms. He left them for a moment, only to return with two small shot glasses of vodka. 

“Cheers, then?” Ava laughed, clinking her glass against Beatrice’s. Her mouth burned and her eyes watered; she wasn’t even close to used to the severity of the drink. Still, the waiter seemed pleased and took their drink orders without forcing another shot upon them. “There aren’t many people out, for a Friday night.” Ava observed once they were alone. 

“Most people can’t afford to eat out, or choose not to. It’s a lot different to  _ our  _ culture.” She bent the word just slightly, a subtle nod to Ava’s true heritage. 

The waiter returned before they could discuss further, bearing thankfully non-alcoholic beverages this time. Ava and Beatrice both thanked him in kind.

“What would you like to eat?” He asked, with shockingly good English.

“Umm…” Ava hummed, looking between Beatrice and the waiter. “We’re clearly not from here - nor do we know what we’re talking about.” She grinned, in a wild way that made Beatrice excitedly nervous. “Just bring out what you think is best. I trust you.” 

He smiled widely, clearly intrigued by the proposition. “You got it!” He replied, before speeding back towards the kitchen.

“You’ve really set out to make this quite the experience, haven’t you?” Beatrice remarked, though she wasn’t nervous. They were barely able to read the Cyrillic menu anyhow and neither of them were well-versed in Soviet cuisine. 

“I like to have fun, what can I say?” Ava quipped. 

“Oh, I’m well aware.” Beatrice retorted. Her words were loaded, of course, and earned her a wink from Ava. It made her heart pound. 

“I hope tonight goes smoothly.” Ava muttered, after a short quiet between them. 

“Me too.” Beatrice replied, following Ava’s gaze out the snowy window. 

A few minutes later, the waiter returned with their first course. “Here we are.” He laid a dish in front of each of them. “It’s traditional to start with a salad.”

“Thank you.” Ava nodded, looking down at the dish. “This looks… Interesting.” She added once the waiter was out of earshot. 

“Pickled beetroot and…” Beatrice stabbed into it with her fork. “Onions. How lovely.” 

Reluctantly, Ava took the first bite. “Actually…” She struggled to hide her grimace. “It’s not that bad.” 

“Really?” Beatrice didn’t seem convinced. 

“I mean… It wouldn’t be my first choice, but…” Ava trailed off as she continued to eat. She didn’t like wasting food, even if it was oppressively vinegary. 

“I can’t say that I agree.” Beatrice mumbled, though she soldiered through her own dish as well. It’d been a long day for them both and they were hungry. Plus, Beatrice hoped a solid meal would ease the burning vodka that seemed to sit in her stomach. 

“Don’t tell the waiter that. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” Ava whispered as he wound his way back to their table. Beatrice shot her a look but remained silent.

“How did you like it?” He asked, with a big grin, as he removed the plates from their table. 

“It was delicious.” Ava lied, though she wore a charismatic smile as she did so. 

“Oh, I am glad to hear it!” He returned a moment later with a bowl for each of them. “We usually have soup next - it is nice to have something warm this time of year.” 

“Agreed.” Ava answered, thankful that the soup smelled appetising. 

“This is better.” Beatrice decided after a few timid spoonfuls of the dish. 

“What  _ is  _ it, do you think?” Ava wondered, though it didn’t stop her from emptying her bowl. 

“I’m not entirely sure I want to know.” Beatrice continued to eat, fearing she would need her strength for that evening’s mission.

“You can be quite the pessimist.” Ava grumbled, crossing her arms in a false anger. 

Dinner continued like this for another hour and a half. Thankfully, most of the dishes were at least palatable, if not always tasty. Ava slid the waiter an extra couple of bills on the way out, despite his protests. He had been surprisingly friendly, though, and Ava only wanted to thank him for the experience. 

“Alright.” Beatrice’s breath froze in the air above her. “Are you ready?” She felt warmer now, with a belly full of food, despite the absolutely frigid evening.

“Yes. Lead the way.” Ava commanded, taking Beatrice’s mitten clad hand in her own. “That was fun.”

“It… Was.” Beatrice was a bit hesitant to admit it, but she couldn’t deny that it had been an interesting experience. 

“And, as far as second dates go, it was certainly out of the ordinary.” 

“Date?” Beatrice felt as if, for a moment, she had short circuited.

“Yes. You don’t need to sound so awkward about it.” Ava jokingly chastised as they rounded a corner. It was obvious that the playful banter that existed between them was a poorly fitting mask for their nervousness.

“You’re frustrating sometimes.” Beatrice mumbled, barely able to hear her own voice over the pounding in her ears. 

“I get that a lot, actually.” Ava laughed.

“Alright.” Beatrice looked up at the street sigh. “We’re close. Just down that alley and there should be a small plaza.” 

Ava glanced around. It wasn’t that late, but the icy streets were all but abandoned. “Let’s go then, Mr. Bond.” 

“Ava.” Beatrice’s voice was sharp. “Focus!” 

“Okay, okay.” Ava grumbled as they crossed the street and headed into the alley. As promised, there was a nervous young man waiting for them at the end of it. They could barely make out his facial features in the dark.

“Do you have the coffee I ordered?” He asked in a tired whisper.

“Yes.” Beatrice handed him the envelope of rubles and he passed back a thin folder. She tucked it into her jacket. 

“Thank you.” Ava told him. “This could save a lot of lives.”

“Be careful.” He warned. “There’s eyes everywhere.” Before either woman could ask him for clarification, he turned around and fled.

“Well, that was comforting…” Ava muttered as they retreated back through the alley and towards the street. Beatrice looked at Ava and stopped dead in her tracks. “What -” Ava’s question was interrupted by a kiss, a proper one this time. With confidence in her movements, Beatrice wrapped a hand around Ava’s waist, and pressed the other to Ava’s cheeks. Time and reality seemed to drop away for a moment and Beatrice was beyond grateful that this mission had gone smoothly. Until their embrace was interrupted by the unmistakable flash of a camera.

“Oh. No.” Beatrice gasped as they broke apart. She and Ava looked around, but were ultimately unable to find the source. Both equally spooked, they ran most of the way back to their hotel, trying not to throw up their dinner on the way. 

“Fuck.” Ava panted as they slowed to a walk. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ fuck. _ ” 

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice felt a single tear slide down her cheek as they crossed into the lobby. She batted it away.

“No.” Ava pressed the elevator buttons and the doors slid shut. “Don’t apologise. What happened was… Unfortunate, but…” Her optimism seemed in short supply. 

“Ava…” Beatrice began, once they were alone in the room. “We can’t do this anymore.” 

“What?” Ava hoped that she was misunderstanding,  _ prayed  _ that she was misunderstanding Beatrice’s meaning. 

“We’re risking too much…” Tears fell more freely now, between them both. “Even if…” Her sentences broke into emotion fragments. “We’re risking a lot more than our careers. We both know that. It’s… We just can’t.” 

“Please…” Ava didn’t want their relationship to end any more than Beatrice did. “I’ll quit my job, I’ll do anything, I’ll -” 

“No.” Beatrice shook her head, hating herself for every sick word that would come next. “It’s over. It has to be. I’m sorry.” 

“I…” Ava stuttered and Beatrice watched her heart break in real time. “I can’t force you to do anything that you don’t want.” Without another word, Ava retreated from the room, with a worrying calm. 

It was only minutes before Ava found the bar downstairs. She never claimed to be a drinker, but the call of more painful vodka seemed to lure her down. With lead in her limbs, she sat down at the end of the bar, though the similarity of this to her first meeting with Beatrice didn’t escape her thoughts. 

A brunette approached her, once Ava was a few shots deep. “Kak dela?” She asked, sitting beside a slightly drunk and rather distraught Ava.

“I’ve had better nights.” Ava muttered, though she still had a wherewithal to maintain her fake accent. 

“So I can see.” The woman had an intoxicating drawl and a sex appeal that might have attracted Ava, had she been less focused on Beatrice. 

“Sorry.” Ava downed another shot with an almost comical wince. “I don’t mean to be rude.” She swiped a tear from her eye, determined not to cry in front of this attractive stranger. “I’ve…  _ Lost  _ someone today.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The woman leaned closer and ran a gentle hand up Ava’s leg. Ava shivered despite herself. “Maybe I could distract you from that?” She was as suggestive as one could be in public.

“I don’t know…” Ava was hesitant, though the vodka was doing a fair job of taking down her walls. “I might need to be a bit drunker…” She meant this as a joke, but the brunette waved to the bartender, who quickly arrived with more shots. 

“That can be arranged.” She whispered, with a voice as smooth as silk and the looks to match. 

“Oh?” Ava’s pulse quickened and her mind grew foggier. 

It wasn’t much later before Ava led the woman back upstairs. She could barely stand and the room seemed to spin around her. Now that they were in private, there were no social conventions binding their behaviour. With shocking confidence, the brunette woman, whose name Ava didn’t even know, pushed her onto the bed. Ava blushed at the forwardness, but didn’t complain. Perhaps this was exactly what she needed to forget about what happened with… No. Ava wouldn’t think of her right now. She couldn’t.

Thankfully, at least depending on your point of view, the brunette woman quickly peeled off her evening wear, while Ava looked on with a crooked smile. The night only took increasingly regrettable turns from there - though thankfully the hotel walls were thick. Beatrice, who spent most of the night crying, didn’t hear any of the raucous behaviour occurring next door. But maybe, that was for the best.


	15. Hope, but Just a Little Bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets come to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> christmas fic coming tomorrow

Ava woke up with a start. Her head pounded and she blearily ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Following that dreadful affair, she stood, desperate for water before anything else. With a gasp, shattered fragments of last night came rushing back, each of which only making her sicker. She wasn’t sure if she should cry or throw up again, but Ava ended up doing both.

Eventually, she managed to leave the bathroom. The room was empty and the woman from last night was gone. Ava sat on the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands. She was an  _ idiot.  _ Her self-loathing was interrupted, however, when she noticed a folder sitting on the bedside table. She didn’t remember leaving that there…

With shaky hands, Ava empty the contents onto the wrinkled bedspread. Inside, a note and two photographs. The first photo made her sick. She didn’t even remember it being taken, but it was unmistakably her - wrapped around the woman from last night. In bed. Nude. Ava tossed it aside in disgust. Still clutched in her hand was the second photo, one of her and Beatrice last night. Kissing, in the alleyway. 

Ava knew it would be dangerous to carry and knew the potential consequences, but she couldn’t help herself. She folded up the photo and tucked it into her pocket. Her short-lived relationship with Beatrice might be over, but Ava would be damned if she ever forgot about her. Finally, Ava turned her attention to the note. 

_ Try to run and she dies. Try to alert your superiors and she dies. Leave your agreement with MI6 and she dies. You belong to us now. More instructions to follow.  _

“Fuck!” Ava shouted, crumbling the note in her hands. She took it and the horrible photo and lit them both aflame, scattering the ashes out of the window. After that, she managed to crawl into a clean outfit, though tears quickly darkened the fabric of her shirt. Ava felt trapped in a way she could barely comprehend - and she hated it. Yet, this failure was different from her others. Drunk or not, she  _ fucked up  _ terribly, and created a situation that she might never be able to remedy. 

Beatrice’s knock came a few minutes later. “Ava, are you almost ready to go?” Her voice sounded strangled and tense, but Ava didn’t blame her. She opened the door, saddened but not surprised to find that Beatrice looked almost as awful as she did. It was clear they’d both been awake most of the night. 

Not a word was exchanged until they reached the train. Back in a cabin once more, the familiarity of their…  _ Whatever  _ took over, and they couldn’t help but talk. 

“Are you hungover?” Beatrice asked, though she knew the answer. Ava reeked of vodka, despite brushing her teeth several times that morning. 

“What of it?” Ava snapped before she could help herself. It wasn’t Beatrice’s fault that she had created a mess.

“Do you think I’m not  _ also  _ upset about this?” Beatrice wondered, raising an eyebrow at the thought. Her words trembled and cracked, revealing the tumultuous emotions that hid just below the surface. 

“I know you are.” Ava softened. She was sympathetic towards Beatrice. 

“But I didn’t go get plastered last night.” 

“No. You didn’t.” Ava closed her eyes to ease the pounding in her head, but only saw the face of the brunette woman. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s  _ dangerous,  _ Ava.” Beatrice’s worry was clear. “You think the Russians don’t know we’re here? Especially after last night… Something terrible could have happened.” 

“I know that.” Ava retorted. If only Beatrice knew…

“I still think that we could work together.” Beatrice looked away from Ava, unable to focus if she didn’t. “But maybe that’s naïve of me.” 

“Maybe it…” Ava froze, remembering the note. She couldn’t return to the U.S. yet. If she wanted Beatrice to stay safe, she had to stay in London. But it was also her presence that put Beatrice in danger. Ava rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can be professional.”

“Alright…” Beatrice didn’t sound like she believed her, but didn’t push the issue. “We’ll have to tell Shannon what happened when we get back.” 

“Oh. Great.” Ava could already hear Mary’s lecture.

“Why?” 

“What?” Ava was confused now. 

“Why did you get drunk? That’s not like you.” Beatrice clarified darkly. 

“I don’t know.” Ava sighed. “I wanted to… Forget, I guess.”

“Oh.” Beatrice stared out the window. It was the best decision to end their relationship. Right? She didn’t know anymore, but the guilty, sick feeling that ate away at her heart seemed to disagree. “You don’t think we could stay friends?” 

“Honestly?” Ava seemed defeated. “No. I wish I could answer otherwise. But Beatrice?  _ God… _ ” She shook her head. “Even being in the same space as you is difficult right now. But being without you… Both options seem unbearable.” 

“I know what you mean.” Beatrice had spent the night crying, but even when she stopped, she found it impossible to sleep without Ava nearby. 

“You look tired and sad. All I want to do is hold you in my arms and tell you that it’s going to be alright. But I can’t. So instead, I’ll just sit here, like a  _ fucking idiot,  _ and try not to throw up all over your shoes.” Ava’s words were venomous. 

“I’m sorry…” Tears sprang to Beatrice’s eyes as she spoke. It was her fault last night, if she had just waited until they had gotten back, everything would be different right now. 

“I thought we weren’t doing apologies?” Ava mumbled with a sappy smile, though she was still crying. Beatrice humoured her with a laugh, though it was far from convincing. 

“Sometimes they are warranted.” Beatrice whispered. She hated herself right now, hated how she felt about Ava. Overwhelmingly, she hated how she couldn’t seem to shut out her feelings for Ava.

“I don’t know if I agree.” 

“You don’t have to.” The moment of warmth froze just suddenly as it had thawed. Neither woman was angry with the other, not really, but they both resented the reality of their situation. Ava rose, suddenly, though she swayed slightly on her feet. Beatrice didn’t miss the trembling of her hands and had to forcibly resist reaching out and taking Ava’s hand in her own. 

“I’m going to go grab a coffee.” Ava announced as she slid open the door. “Do you want tea?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice nodded solemnly. “Please.” 

A few minutes later, Ava returned, beverages in hand. While they’d both taken the brief time apart to breathe and collect themselves… It did little to help.

“Thank you.” Beatrice told her, clutching the mug as though her life depended on it.

“Mhm.” Ava hummed, sitting across from her. “If the Russians already know… Why can’t we just… I don’t know…” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Beatrice didn’t want to logically work through the situation. She didn’t even want to think about it. 

“What if I infiltrate the KGB and burn all the files?” Ava suggested, half-kidding, though she knew she would do it if it meant she could be with Beatrice. 

“No agent has ever done that and lived to tell the tale.” 

“Maybe I’ll be the first, then…” Ava mused. The gears in her mind were working. The note that they’d left her had been clear, but that wouldn’t stop her from figuring out a way around it. Nothing would stop her. She wouldn’t allow it. 

“Ava, be serious.”

“I am!” Ava was adamant. “I want to be with you! I don’t care!” Her voice cracked. “I’ll quit my job and we can move to a little farm like you wanted.” 

“You do that?” Beatrice was surprised.

“Of course.” 

“We can’t.” Beatrice shook her head. This conversation was torture. “They’d be monitoring us for the rest of our lives - we know too much. Maybe once this…  _ Vincent  _ ordeal is sorted out…” She was allowing herself to be hopeful but couldn’t help it.

“I intend to see our missions through.” Ava’s determination was admirable. “Regardless of what it means for us, he’s a traitor.” 

“Agreed.” Beatrice nodded. 

The rest of their journey was enveloped in terse silence. It was awkward and painful, especially on the plane back to London when all Ava wanted was to help Beatrice. Eventually, they found themselves back on solid ground. Night had long since fallen, but their news was urgent. Thus, they caught a cab to Shannon’s flat on the edge of the city. Unsurprisingly, Mary was there too. 

“Beatrice? Ava?” Shannon was surprised to see them standing at the door. “Uh oh…” She whispered, leading them inside. “I take it you have bad news, since you’re here.” 

“You could say that.” Ava muttered. 

“What happened?” Mary met them in the kitchen and immediately sensed the tension between them. “You both look like shit.” 

“Hey!” Ava protested, though she knew Mary wasn’t wrong.

“She’s right.” Shannon agreed, putting on the kettle.

“We have good news, too…” Beatrice began. She was more than slightly reluctant to deliver the news. 

“Oh?” Shannon raised an eyebrow. From within her coat, Beatrice withdrew the information that the contact had given them.

“We secured this with surprising ease - of course, that’s no guarantee of its accuracy.” Beatrice explained quietly. 

“It never is.” Mary agreed. “But what’s the bad news?” 

“Beatrice and I… Were…” Ava hesitated. She couldn’t reveal what happened with the  _ woman  _ \- she had to be extremely careful. 

“We were photographed.” Beatrice took over. 

“Is that… Bad?” Shannon seemed understandably confused. 

“We were…” Beatrice took a deep breath. “Kissing.” 

“What?!” Mary slapped the table. “I called it! Told you!” She addressed Shannon with a smile. 

“Mary.” Shannon put a hand on Mary’s shoulder, though she could barely contain her smile. “I think you’re making them uncomfortable.” 

She was right, of course, as a ferocious blush had spread across both Ava and Beatrice’s cheeks. “It might matter more if you two had bosses who cared about such things….” She added with a smirk. “But as it stands, neither of you will be fired.”

“The world is a changing place.” Mary noted. “McCarthy’s scare tactics don’t hold nearly as much weight as they used to - of course, that doesn’t stop the Soviets from trying to capitalise on it.” 

“So… We’re not compromised?” Beatrice was cautiously hopeful, though Ava felt as though she was sinking.

“I think the Soviets would struggle to use that information against either of you - at least the way it stands. Unless, there’s something else?” Shannon looked between them.

“No.” Ava lied. “That’s it.” 

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it. Honestly.” Mary was almost maternal in her reassurance. “You two can do what you want, though I’ll be honest Beatrice, I’m not sure how you deal with Ava.” 

“She’s definitely… Something.” Beatrice flashed Ava a smile, though it wasn’t returned. Ava wished she could disappear from this conversation entirely. 

“I’ll get this intel to a trusted contact of mine as soon as possible.” Shannon announced as she set a cup of tea in front of everyone. “Obviously, I can’t bring it into the office proper.” 

“Understood.” Beatrice could barely contain her relief. “When should we expect our next assignment?” 

“Within a day or two.” Mary replied. “Once Camila and Lilith get back I’ll have a more concrete answer for you both.”

“For now, head home.” Shannon looked them over once more. “You both look like you could use a good night’s sleep.”

“But don’t think we aren’t talking about…” Mary pointed between them. “This.” 

“Oh my  _ God. _ ” Ava muttered. At first glance, Beatrice thought she was embarrassed by Mary’s teasing, but there was something under the surface. 

“Once I can verify this intel, plus whatever Lilith and Camila have hopefully managed to secure…” Shannon pondered their dilemma. Obviously, the MI6 office was flush with resources, but she couldn’t risk Vincent catching wind of their operation.

“Well, Mary and I will figure something out.” Shannon concluded. “And we’ll get word to you on our next move. But I’d really like you two to be both well-rested and healed. Just in case this escalates.” 

“Are you expecting it to?” Ava sounded serious. “Escalate, I mean…?” 

“Maybe.” Mary’s tone turned dark. “Either the Russians have some horrible dirt on him, or he is an immoral man. He might turn desperate when backed into a corner.” 

“All the more reason we need to keep this lowkey.” Shannon’s worry bled into her voice. “I know caution is advised at all times in this line of work, but especially now… Be careful!” 

“We will.” Beatrice grabbed Ava’s hand under the table and Ava felt a fresh wave of guilt begin to eat away at her. 

“Glad to hear it.” Mary smiled at them both.

On their way back to Beatrice’s flat, she could barely keep calm. She was the happiest Ava had ever seen her; Beatrice bounced slightly in her seat during the short cab ride. Ava was unsurprisingly stiff, though Beatrice couldn’t quite piece together why. She’d been devastated because she thought they couldn’t be together, but Ava didn’t seem to feel the same relief about the situation. 

Finally,  _ finally,  _ they were alone again. Beatrice wasted no time in pressing her lips gratefully to Ava’s and winding her hands through Ava’s untamed mane. Still, the stiffness remained. 

“What’s wrong?” Beatrice whispered as they broke apart. Ava refused to meet her eye. 

“Nothing I just…” She didn’t know what to do. Nothing in the note said she couldn’t tell Beatrice - but would that be putting her in more danger? Ava’s sudden failure to reciprocate feelings was hurting Beatrice too. 

In her delay to answer, Beatrice studied her face. Pensive guilt was etched into Ava’s fine features. Unfortunately, Beatrice figured it out before Ava could provide any explanation. 

“What have you done?” Beatrice mumbled in disbelief. “You’ve been compromised.” 

“How did you -?” 

“I’m not an  _ idiot,  _ Ava!” Beatrice’s voice raised in pitch, making Ava flinch. Of course, hearing Beatrice say her name with such venom didn’t help either. 

“I didn’t say that you were…” 

“What  _ happened?!”  _ Beatrice’s hands shook and Ava stepped away from her.

“I… I don’t want…” Ava closed her eyes, only to see the brunette woman that had been haunting her. “You could be in danger…”

“I could be in danger?!” Beatrice felt unhinged, she couldn’t believe how angry she was, yet she had no power to control it. 

“Yes…”

“This entire  _ fucking  _ job is dangerous. Being with you is dangerous!” She forced herself to take a deep breath. “It’s not your decision to make.” 

“I know.” Tears fell freely from Ava’s face. 

“Tell me. Now.” 

“If you’re not angry about my… Failure… Well, once you hear what happened, I don’t think you’ll want to be with me either way…” Ava choked on her words. 

“Please, tell me.” Beatrice softened slightly.

“After our… Breakup?” Ava paused and leaned against the counter, only to slide to the floor a moment later. Her wound ached and her head was still pounding. “I did go down the bar.” 

“I know.” Beatrice sat down beside her. She was bracing for the worst, but she couldn’t help but feel not only sympathetic, but protective. Ava had made a grave mistake and Beatrice still wanted to be there for her. Whatever that looked like for them. 

“I got pretty drunk, pretty fast.” Ava put her head in her hands and sobbed. “I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m just trying to explain what happened.” 

“Okay, go on.” Beatrice urged, placing a tentative hand on Ava’s back. 

“There was this woman… I don’t even know her name.” At this, Beatrice froze, hating the sudden jealousy that coated her insides. “Somehow she ended up back in my room. I don’t know… I barely remember what happened after that - I could barely stand.” Another sob shook Ava’s chest. “There’s only flashes but… I don’t know what the  _ fuck  _ was wrong with me… I’m sorry…” 

“You heard what Shannon and Mary said, though?” Beatrice tried to remain impartial. “They wouldn’t fire us for…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. 

“It’s not that I’m worried about.” Ava breathed, retrieving the picture of her and Beatrice from her pocket. “They said if I don’t comply - it’s you that becomes the target.” 

“Oh.” Beatrice felt cold.

“Their instructions told me that if I ran, you’d be in danger… I never wanted to hurt you, but I’d give all of this up if it meant that you would be safe.” Ava turned to face Beatrice, who sat extraordinary still as she tried to process everything Ava was telling her. “I can’t tell Mary or Shannon and I can’t leave MI6 and return to the States. I have to stay here with you. Or else….” 

“I can handle myself.” 

“I know that!” Ava wiped the tears from her eyes, but it was a lost cause. “I wouldn’t have told you otherwise. You’re the most capable person I know…” Ava trailed off and suddenly rose from the floor with a wince. “The sick irony of this doesn’t escape me. I’m forced to stay close to you, yet I’m what’s putting you in danger. All because of my  _ stupidity. _ ” She threw a fist against Beatrice’s cabinet, but her knuckles broke before the wood did. Ava barely felt the pain, even as her blood dripped onto the counter. 

“Well, what are we going to do?” Beatrice asked in a tiny voice. She was still sitting on the floor. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You can’t tell anyone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fight this on your own.” 

“I don’t know…” Ava paused. Everything felt like it was moving too fast, but she was moving too slow. “I was pretty sure you would hate me after I told you - so I hadn’t planned that far ahead.” 

Beatrice rose to face Ava. “I won’t lie. I’m not pleased.” She saw the blood coating the counter and was distracted for a moment, pressing a towel against Ava’s hand. “This was a stupid,  _ stupid,  _ mistake for you to make. And… Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.”

“I’m sorry.” Ava repeated.

“But… And maybe I’m the idiot for thinking this, but I’m not ready to lose you to this conflict yet. If you and I have to take on the entire KGB for me to keep you, then so be it.” There was a fire in Beatrice’s eyes that gave Ava hope. At least, a little bit.


	16. Something Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice talk about... Well, a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not getting this out yesterday - between this and the new xmas fic, there is a lot of writing to be done!

“You’re being nicer than I deserve.” Ava whispered as they laid together that night.

“Maybe.” Beatrice replied, though she couldn’t deny that she was grateful for Ava’s presence beside her. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt or -” Ava’s voice broke and she felt a fresh round of tears dampen the pillow beneath her. “Because of my  _ fuck up. _ ”

“Well, lucky for you, I don’t want to die.” Beatrice tried to sound lighter than she felt, but wasn’t successful. 

“You’re deflecting. Like I do.” 

“I know.”

“I am…  _ Slightly  _ hopeful that I can find a way out of this somehow.” Ava sighed heavily. “If you really want to help, I’d be all the better for it.” 

“I do.” Beatrice turned onto her side so she could watch Ava’s silhouette in the dark. “It’s a complicated situation. Actually, that’s an understatement. We’d basically be running an off the books operation under the nose of an operation that’s already off the books.”

“Yes.” Ava faced Beatrice, though there was a painful space between them. “And I don’t doubt that your personal feelings make it all the more difficult. I would understand if you didn’t want to be involved in this.” 

“That’s the thing…” Beatrice reached out for Ava’s hand. “I’m angry at you. And frustrated. But… If anyone can understand how upset you were - it’s me.”

“You didn’t make any stupid mistakes, though.” Ava felt beyond ashamed of herself. 

“No. I didn’t.” Beatrice paused. “I can’t watch you get torn apart by this. I can’t. Yes, my feelings are complicated, as is this situation. But I guess we’ll figure it out as we go.” 

“Why?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” 

“Why are you so determined to help me?” Ava squeezed Beatrice’s hand. “Not that I’m not grateful, of course, because I absolutely am. It’s just… Well, it will be dangerous.” 

“This job is dangerous. Plus, aren’t you a self-proclaimed dangerous woman?” Beatrice found herself resorting to humour in a way that was normally more within Ava’s purview. 

“I meant dangerous in a…” Ava waved her free hand in an odd flourish. “I don’t know, sexy woman spy, don’t fall in love with me, sort of way. A joke, really.” 

“Perhaps I should have heeded your warning…”

“About being dangerous?” A sharp exhale escaped Ava’s lips. “I’m sorry.” 

“Not exactly.” Beatrice didn’t pause long enough for Ava to consider what she was implying. “When we get our next assignment and the Russians inevitably make contact, we’ll figure out a plan. Okay?” 

“I… Yes… Okay…” Ava stuttered, clearly still thinking about Beatrice’s words, despite her weak attempt at redirection. 

“But until then, I really do think we could both benefit from the rest. It’s been… A lot.” Beatrice took command of the conversation. 

“That’s an understatement. I think tomorrow you might be ready to get those stitches out of your head.” Ava was still freaking out internally, but she tried to hide it. 

“I think…” Beatrice steadied herself. “I think I’ll let you be the judge of that.” 

“You’re trusting me with such a decision? This is your  _ face  _ we’re talking about.” Ava was taken aback.

“Well, you’re the one who stitched it up in the first place. I trust that you’ve had at least some first aid training during your storied career.” 

“Nah.” Ava chuckled. “I’m just really into needlepoint.” 

“You suck.” Beatrice muttered, though she matched Ava’s laugh. She’d inspected Ava’s handiwork in the mirror and the stitches were almost as neat as hers. 

“I know, I know.” Ava relaxed slightly and pressed herself closer to Beatrice. “I’m sorry again. I’m sorry a million times over and a million times after that.” 

“I know.” Beatrice tucked an arm around Ava’s small frame. “While I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you completely, I don’t think I’m ready to be super angry either.”

“That’s… Cryptic.” 

“Yes… Well… I’m sorry too.” 

“Don’t apologise.” Ava was adamant about that. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” 

“Okay, okay.” Beatrice acquiesced almost immediately. “But in seriousness, I promise that I’ll be by your side through this. Okay?” She pressed her face closer to Ava’s. “And maybe I’m an idiot for doing so, but I am quite determined to help you fight through this. Whatever that may come to mean.” 

“You’re far better than I deserve.” Ava repeated sleepily. 

Their conversation petered out quite quickly after that, as both women fell asleep. After a stressful two days and a restless night prior, they needed all the sleep they could get. Being together again was just an added bonus. Unsurprisingly, they were still warm and tangled up when morning came.

Beatrice woke first. She couldn’t help but savour the calm between them - it was unlikely to last. Still, Ava seemed to attract what little sunlight shone through the window. Or at least, Beatrice’s perception made it seem as though she was brighter than her surroundings. 

“It’s rude to stare…” Ava mumbled, eyes closed. Her voice was still raspy from sleep, but she wore a small smile. 

“Terribly sorry, my dear.” Beatrice replied, her words dripping in sarcasm. 

“Funny.” Ava rubbed her eyes and forced them open. “How do you always look so pretty and put together in the morning.” She sighed. “I look like roadkill.”

“You can’t even see yourself.” Beatrice retorted, ignoring the warmth she felt from the compliment. 

“Yes. But I  _ know. _ ” Ava insisted. Instead of getting up, she wrapped herself tightly around Beatrice. It was much too cold to get up right away. 

“I have to disagree.” 

“Duly noted.” Ava chuckled lightly. 

“You’re impossible.” Beatrice muttered, though Ava’s sleepy affection made her face burn and her heart pound.

“So you’ve said…” A tense pause accented their otherwise calm conversation. “Maybe I could make you breakfast today?” 

“Honestly, you don’t have to.” 

“I want to.” Ava backpedaled suddenly. “Not because I feel guilty, though! Well, I do feel guilty but…” She stuttered awkwardly. “That’s not why I want to, I mean.” 

“Alright, alright.” Beatrice felt understandably conflicted, but her attraction and sympathy for Ava were impossible to ignore. “But slow movements, okay? If we’re going to be taking on the entire Russian intelligence force, I’d like that stab wound to be fully healed.”

“Ugh…” Ava placed a hand across her face. “No espionage talk before coffee, please.”

“You have such a one track mind. Seriously.” 

With exaggerated slowness, Ava slid from the bed and shuffled into the kitchen. She kept one of the blankets wrapped around her, as a bastion of warmth. Beatrice followed and sat at the table, watching Ava move about the kitchen. Ava’s hands shook slightly as she worked, but Beatrice didn’t comment on it.

“A cup of tea for my dear husband.” Ava smiled when she handed Beatrice a warm mug. 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Ava sat across from Beatrice, coffee in hand. She still wore the blanket wrapped around her, pulled tightly around her head.

“You look ridiculous.” Beatrice whispered, though she neglected to tell Ava that she looked cute, too. 

“Perhaps, but I’m  _ cold. _ ” Ava retorted. She took a sip of coffee before continuing. “I don’t know how people live like this.” 

“We were just in Russia.” 

“I know, but this is somehow worse.” 

“I think you’re being a touch overdramatic.” Beatrice told her quietly.

“I know.” Ava’s face darkened. It was clear she was trying to deflect and avoid talking about what plagued her. Beatrice reached across the table and wrapped her hand around Ava’s. 

“I can see what you’re doing. You don’t need to pretend to be strong and careless all the time. I know it’s eating at you.” 

“It  _ should  _ be eating at me.” Ava whispered. “I fucked up on an international scale.” 

“Yes, you did.” While Beatrice was determined to help Ava, she was still beyond frustrated about what had happened - which was more than fair. “But letting the guilt soak through you won’t help you… Won’t help  _ us  _ escape this predicament.” 

“You really want to be included in this?” Ava avoided Beatrice’s gaze. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to run away from this. From me. It could very well be a suicide mission.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice looked down at the table and took a deep breath. “I’m not always good at being forthcoming - but you’re important to me. Plus, a bit more selfishly, I think I’d blame myself for the rest of my life if I left you alone to face this.” 

“You’re important to me too.” Ava squeezed Beatrice’s hand in her own. “And I know I’ve apologised a dozen times already, but I’m sorry.” 

“Enough!”

“Okay, okay.” Ava finished her coffee and stood up. “Do you have a preference for breakfast food, or can I have free reign.” 

“If you make me a second cup of tea, you could even recreate that awful beet and onion salad.” Beatrice quipped, trying to inject some levity into their conversation. She didn’t want the entire day to be infected by the danger that hung around them. Maybe, if she tried, they could live outside of time. Just for today. 

“Good to know.” Ava laughed, turning the kettle on once more. Beatrice watched her move about the kitchen. She seemed at least somewhat competent, even if she was awkwardly wrapped in a comforter. Comfortable silence settled around them as Beatrice enjoyed her second cup of tea, and Ava, her second cup of coffee. There was a surprising focus in Ava’s movements as she cooked, as if she was trying harder than she normally would. 

Beatrice was all but lost in her own thoughts by the time Ava slid a plate in front of her. It was comically presented; a massive pancake with a bacon smile and two globs of jam for its eyes. 

“You didn’t have any syrup…” Ava reported dismally as she sat back down. Beatrice was quiet for a moment, looking between her oddly childish breakfast, and Ava. She’d seen Ava kill people and risk death on multiple occasions, but her cooking was… Juvenile. There was no other way to put it, really. 

“That’s…” Beatrice stuttered, on account of her blaring thoughts. The bizarre sides of Ava were jarring, but Beatrice found it endearing. “Syrup isn’t really a thing here.” 

“What an atrocity.” Ava replied. Carefully, she sliced into the smiley breakfast, as though there were nothing odd about it. 

“This is…” Beatrice didn’t know how to answer. “Thank you for breakfast.” 

“I kind of expected you to tease me about the presentation.” Ava reported. Sometimes, it was as if she could read Beatrice’s thoughts.

“It’s definitely something.” She ate a few forkfuls of food before continuing. “But I can’t fault you too much, because it is quite good.”

“Quite good.” Ava repeated with a smile. “You heard it here first folks.” 

After breakfast, Beatrice sat nervously on the couch while Ava inspected the wound on her face. “It’s healed well.” Ava whispered. Weak sunlight broke through the windows, though it was still impressively cold and dark. “I think I was right. These can come out.” Beatrice handed Ava a tiny pair of tweezers from the first aid kit.

“Will you? Please?” 

“Yes.” Ava answered quietly. Without another word, she gently began to pull out the thread. The bruising had faded somewhat, though it was still quite a gruesome injury. Carefully, Ava worked as gently as she could. Her face was surprisingly close to Beatrice’s, making them both more nervous than they cared to admit. Tension rose as the minutes passed, until Ava announced her completion. “I’m done. Though, if I were you, I’d -”

Beatrice interrupted Ava’s suggestion with a kiss. A fully passionate affair that started on the couch and ended with Ava pressed against the coffee table.

“Sorry, I -” Beatrice released the hand that held Ava down. 

“No apologies.” Ava replied in a growl, before pulling Beatrice back down on top of her. The moment grew increasingly heated, until Ava winced quite painfully.

“Okay, okay.” Beatrice sat up in a hurry, her cheeks burning with anxious excitement. “No more of this, at least until you’re healed.” 

“I’m better, really.” Ava insisted, though her movements to join Beatrice back on the couch were surprisingly laboured.

“May I?” Beatrice lifted the hem on Ava’s shirt, waiting to get a nod of approval.

“You may.” Ava couldn’t help but wink. “You don’t need to ask next time.”

“You’re… Impossible.” Beatrice couldn’t think of a better word for it. Upon inspecting Ava’s injury, however, her face darkened. “This hasn’t exactly healed well.” 

“I know.” Ava was slightly breathless, though not from the pain of the injury. “Something about having to fight every other day, you know the drill. Really puts a damper on the healing process.” 

“The life we live is not for the faint of heart.” Beatrice muttered, cleaning the wound with practiced hands.

“Hell, I’m not sure this job is for anyone.” Ava laid her head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “At least, not forever. Once you start, I think you have an expiration date. You can extend that date, say if you work in analysis instead of in the field. Or, you can make it come faster, by only taking the most dangerous assignments.” 

“What does that say about us, then?” 

“We’re fucked up, I suppose.” 

“What happens when your time is up?” Beatrice asked. Ava had a unique way of rationalising their work; their non-traditional lives. 

“It depends on the person.” Ava sighed. “I’ve seen colleagues who lose their spark for survival and get killed on routine operations. Others just walk away, never to be seen again.” 

“What are you going to do? When your time is up, I mean?” Beatrice pulled Ava’s shirt back down.

“I don’t know…” Ava rested her head on Beatrice’s shoulder. “Maybe it already is. Would explain what happened in Russia.”

“Well, I’d need you to turn back the clock, then. You’re going to have to be at your best, should we have any hope of succeeding.” 

“I know.” 

Further conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Ava began to stand up but Beatrice pushed her back onto the couch. 

“Stay still. This is why you don’t heal properly.” She chastised as she crossed the living room. Before unlocking the door, however, Beatrice checked the peephole to make sure it was a friend. A moment later, she unbolted the numerous locks and let Camila into the flat. 

“Hi.” Camila gave Beatrice a quick hug. “Hopefully I’m not…  _ Interrupting  _ anything.” 

“Why do you say it like that?” Ava asked from the couch with a suspicious expression. “Did Mary say anything to you?” 

“No.” Camila walked over to Ava and hugged her as well. “She didn’t have to. I’m not blind.” 

“Oh,  _ God. _ ” Beatrice put her head in her hands.

“Anyways, I’m sure you’re both wondering why I’m here.” She reached over the radio that Beatrice kept on a shelf and turned it on. Just in case. “Lilith and I found some interesting data - and I heard you both did as well. Shannon and Mary are tying up a few loose ends, but they want to meet tonight. Obviously, these are conversations that can’t happen in the office.” 

“Of course.” Beatrice nodded. 

“At six, they’ll be a black car outside.” Camila explained quickly. “Dress nicely, we’re going out to dinner. The mission is  _ only  _ to be discussed while we are inside the vehicle, which will take approximately twenty minutes each way. Got it?” 

“Got it.” Ava was as serious as she could be. 

“Glad to hear it.” She turned the radio off. “Now, how are you both doing?” 

Beatrice and Ava exchanged a look, knowing that they obviously couldn’t tell Camila about everything that happened. “How are  _ you,  _ Cam? Couldn’t have been easy spending that much time alone with Lilith.” Ava countered. 

“You’re deflecting.” Camila told Ava, with a firmness that made Beatrice respect her even more. “But it was fine. Lilith isn’t as bad as you think.”

“Really?” Even Beatrice was surprised by that.

“Yes!” Camila threw her hands up. “She’s actually really nice.” 

“Umm…” Ava laughed. “Maybe there’s a different Lilith and I actually met her evil twin sister.” 

“Or you are just a frustrating person who lacks the seriousness for this line of work!” Camila snapped, though she wore a wide smile.

“That’s a fair point, you’ve got to admit.” Beatrice chimed in. It was interesting for her to see Ava and Camila interact.

“I can admit it.” Ava crossed her arms in a feigned pout. 

“You still haven’t answered my question, though.” 

“We’re okay.” Beatrice spoke for them both. “I won’t give you the details because it’s safer for you not to know. We ran into a little bit of trouble, but it’s all worked out. More or less.” 

“More or less.” Camila repeated. “Sounds like Ava.” She turned for the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been an exhausting few days and I’d like to get some rest before dinner. But, I am looking forward to getting to know you better, Beatrice.” 

“You as well.” Beatrice replied, with a genuine grin. 

“Bye, Camila!” Ava waved as Camila ducked back out into the hallway. 

Beatrice sat beside Ava on the couch once more. “It’s like a triple date.” Ava whispered, as she rested her head against Beatrice’s shoulder. 

“This is a highly sensitive exchange of information, first and foremost.” 

“I know, I know.” Ava exhaled and then took a deep breath. “But it’s  _ also  _ a triple date.”

“I don’t think Camila and Lilith are a… Couple.” Beatrice hesitated. “I don’t even know if you and I are.” 

“I think, like everything else going on right now, it’s complicated.” 

“What an understatement.” Beatrice sighed. She held Ava’s hand as she spoke. “But earlier… That was… Something.” 

“Something… Good?” Ava had a hopeful glint in her eye. 

“Better than good.”


	17. The Envelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are several exchanges of information - but much is left undiscovered. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pee pee poo poo

Ava got dressed quickly. It was too cold for her to be without clothing for any length of time. She pulled on her dress and shoes with efficient movements, before making a cursory effort to restrain her hair. Being alone made it easier for the awful guilt to creep back into her mind. Granted, Ava knew she should feel guilty, but it wasn’t a helpful emotion. If she wanted to operate on the highest level, she couldn’t allow herself the distraction. Besides, should the Russian threat be a serious one, Ava’s failure could cost Beatrice her life. 

A soft sigh escaped Ava’s lips as she opened the door. Beatrice was already waiting in the living room. She looked beautiful, no surprise there. Ava’s heart pounded at the sight of her - clad in a navy blue dress.

“You look beautiful.” Ava mumbled before her brain could stop her. 

“You do too.” Beatrice reached out and Ava quickly took her hand. “And you’re wearing the dress from the day we met.” 

“I am.” Ava nodded as they walked down the hallway. “I can’t help but wish I could go back to that night. A fresh start would solve pretty much all of my problems right now.” 

“ _Our_ problems.” Beatrice corrected. They stepped outside then and the freezing air hit them both like a truck. Thankfully, there was a car waiting for them, just as Camila had promised. 

“Secret meeting, here we go!” Ava exclaimed once Mary had pulled away from the curb. There was a collective groan throughout the vehicle. Shannon turned around in the passenger seat to address everyone in the car. 

“We’ve verified most of the information that you’ve all brought in. Thank you, by the way. I know it’s stressful to work an off the books mission - especially for something so high risk.” 

“It’s the right thing to do.” Camila told her, earning a nod from Ava.

“Vincent was never compromised by the Soviets. He is, however, actively working for them. Mary and I couldn’t discern how long he’s been feeding them allied secrets, though we know it’s at least the last five years. How he managed to ascend to MI6’s top position is a testament to his skill.”

“Or a testament to MI6’s poor personnel management.” Mary whispered. Shannon gave her a quick scowl before continuing.  
“It’s going to be exceedingly difficult to force him into revealing himself. I’d like to give you all a choice to stop now, if you wanted. This is going to be dangerous. I’m not going to force these operations, should you not want to continue.” 

“I’m in.” Beatrice answered first. 

“Me too.” Ava was hopeful. Perhaps, dealing such a devastating blow to the KGB would alleviate the threats they made against Beatrice. Or, at the very least, get her close enough to their base of operations that Ava could strike in her own way.

“I’ll need to make a few calls to Langley, to authorise Camila and Ava to stay here.” Mary reported.

“I’d like to stay.” Camila told Mary.

“And I’d like to work with Camila again on this.” Lilith added. 

“Really?” Shannon was clearly surprised. “What happened to: _I hate having a partner, just let me do my missions alone?_ ” 

“My opinion has changed.” Lilith whispered. In the dark vehicle, no one could see the blush that covered her cheeks.

“Alright. As much as I want to, I don’t have the time to tease you about this.” Shannon took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. “There are two old wartime monitoring stations. Up north. They were abandoned several years ago, but all of our recent intel confirms that the Soviets have repurposed them to have bases closer to London. If that was going to be under anyone’s purview, it would be Vincent’s.” 

“So, you want us to put on a show?” Ava asked, colloquial but not wrong.

“Yes. But _do not_ get seen.” Shannon turned to look at the road. She only had a few minutes left before they reached the restaurant. “Obviously I’ll provide more details tomorrow morning. There are a lot of moving pieces in this plan and I don’t want to risk anyone’s safety by explaining more than is strictly necessary.” 

“Your caution is understandable.” Beatrice mumbled. She felt Ava stiffen beside her a moment later.

“I’ll have you stay in your current teams, of course, but I’d like you to check out cars from MI6 instead of your personal vehicles. I just feel better about the extra protection. Of course, the superiors think that you’re going on a different mission, so keep the details minimal when you go pick up the cars.” 

“We’re here.” Mary announced as she pulled into the parking lot. 

“Thank you.” Camila put a kind hand on Shannon’s shoulder. “You’re putting yourself at risk too and no one is naïve to the amount of work you’re doing behind the scenes.” 

“You’re welcome.” Shannon seemed surprised, but gave Camila a warm smile. “Of course, you’re putting yourself at risk too.” 

“It’s all part of the job.” Camila laughed, as did everyone else. Well, except Ava. 

Inside, they sat at a large table, positioned comfortably next to a window. Everyone looked beautiful and well-dressed - though no onlooker would guess that they were a group of highly trained intelligence agents. Instead, they seemed like a group of ladies out for a fun night without the influence of their husbands. It was a reality that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Ava sat beside Beatrice, surprising no one. They kept a point of contact between one another the entire night. A waiter attended to their table with surprising efficiency and it was only a few minutes before each woman had a drink in hand. Ava, after what happened in Russia, decided to avoid alcohol for the evening.

“Your face looks better.” Shannon told Beatrice as she lazily swirled the ice cubes in her whiskey. 

“Thanks.” Beatrice looked between her and Ava. “Ava took the stitches out this morning.” 

“Did she now?” Mary muttered with a mischievous smirk. 

“Mary!” Shannon chastised her. “I thought you said you weren’t going to tease them.” 

“I’m not! Honest!” Mary held up her hands in surrender. 

“Is there something I should know?” Lilith seemed thoroughly confused.

“Beatrice and I are…” 

“Somewhat together.” Beatrice completed Ava’s sentence for her. 

“Really?” 

“Wait.” Ava held up a hand. I know what you’re going to say.” 

“Okay, what am I going to say?” Lilith was admittedly curious. 

“That I’m annoying or frustrating and you don’t know how Beatrice even deals with me as a mission partner, let alone anything more.” Ava spoke quickly, but she wasn’t wrong. 

“Actually, yes. That is what I was going to say.” 

“Ava’s not that bad.” Camila interjected, though Ava gave her a frustrated glance. 

“Not _that_ bad?” Ava echoed. “I’ll have you know I’m not only amazing at my job, but a total fashion icon.” 

“My apologies.” A rare smile crept across Lilith’s face as she spoke. 

“Does anyone have something to talk about that _isn’t_ bullying me?” Ava wondered, though she hardly seemed offended. 

The rest of the evening passed with similar banter. Food and drinks flowed freely, and before the end of the night, the waiter had slipped Lilith his phone number. She was polite to his face, which in itself was surprising, but she ultimately threw it away. Everyone’s mood shifted almost immediately, as Shannon delved into further explanations. Sure, the evening had been more fun than everyone expected, but the time for fun was over. 

“I’ll provide a fake MI6 badge in one of your briefing packages. Leave it at the site - as if you had _dropped_ it. We need to ensure that Vincent is called about this, without making our involvement too obvious.” 

“Don’t tell me the details, but I assume you and Mary have put a plan in place to catch Vincent in the act?” Lilith asked. Shannon gave her a quick nod before continuing. 

“If you can, but don’t risk discovery, destroy as many records in these locations as possible. It would be stupid to think that the Soviets don’t have copies, but the more we can set them back the better. Two birds, one stone.” 

“I know it’s a brutal instruction…” Mary chimed in. “But if someone sees you, make sure they _don’t._ ” 

“Understood.” Beatrice’s voice was gravelly and she held Ava’s hand as she spoke. 

“And, _for the love of God,_ be careful.” Shannon’s worry couldn’t have been overstated. “This is uncharted territory for the lot of us. If anyone gets killed on assignment, it’ll be… Well, let’s not get off topic. Don’t die. Got it?” Everyone nodded. It was amazing how fast the buzz from dinner wore off. 

It was late by the time Beatrice and Ava returned to the flat. They’d barely been more than a foot apart the entire time and the sudden several feet between them as they changed into pajamas was almost unbearable. A few minutes later, Beatrice padded back to Ava’s room and joined her in the cold bed.

“So, road trip tomorrow…” Ava began. It was obvious they were both thinking about the mission… And each other.

“The Soviets haven’t tried to contact you yet?” 

“No.” Ava sighed as nestled into Beatrice, wishing she could be as safe as she felt. “I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of this one.”

“Maybe, at these bases, there will be records. About us.” Beatrice suggested, trying to stay hopeful. 

“Copies of them, at least.” Ava perked up slightly. “It might give us a better picture of what they know, or what their plans are!” 

“Exactly.” Beatrice tried not to let herself get too excited, lest she be devastated all over again. 

“I think… As much as I’d prefer to plan this out, I think we’ll need to play this by ear.” 

“Since when do you plan?” Beatrice was incredulous. “You are the queen of improvisational tactics.” 

“Well, at least I’m a queen.” Ava laughed slightly, but then her tone changed. “Tonight, at the restaurant, I mean… It was nice.” 

“It was.” 

“We were like a big group of friends. Or a family, even.” 

“Agreed.” Beatrice wrapped an arm around Ava and held her close. 

“I’ll do whatever needs to be done to ensure your safety.” Ava whispered, on the brink of sleep. “You know that right?” 

“I know.” 

“It’s because…” Ava trailed off as she fell asleep. Of course, that only left Beatrice more confused - more nervous. What had Ava been about to say? Was she overreacting? Probably. Questions flew through Beatrice’s mind with insane speed… For about five minutes. Being warm and in Ava’s arms was too safe and too comforting. Thus, she promptly joined Ava in slumber. 

The following day was brisk and rainy, as most winter days in London. Occasionally snowflakes mixed with the rain, but the weather was still inexplicably grey. Ava’s sunny presences, however, lightened Beatrice’s mood considerably. It was odd, how happy she was, all things considered. She and Ava were driving along the English countryside, which was beautiful, though they were on their way to carry out a dangerous mission.

That, along with the KGB threat that hung over her head should have turned Beatrice into a stressed out disaster. Even less high stakes missions made her anxious, or used to to. This wasn’t to say she didn’t care, quite the opposite. Her feelings for Ava grew by the day and she was not only hopeful, but determined that they could escape all the haunted them. Though Beatrice wasn’t ready to admit it out loud, Ava made her feel braver than she had ever felt before. As if, when Ava was by her side, she could handle anything. 

“Beatrice, did you hear me?” Ava asked, for a second time, interrupting Beatrice’s thoughts. 

“Hm? Sorry.” Beatrice shook her head. She couldn’t allow herself to get this distracted while driving. 

“I asked if you wanted to listen to the radio. There should be Christmas music on a few of the stations.” 

“This car doesn’t have a radio.” 

“What?” 

“The MI6 engineers take them out to make room for other stuff.” Beatrice explained.

“Oh?” Ava looked closely at the dashboard. “Should I not press random buttons then? Will the car start shooting missiles or something?” 

“This isn’t a movie, Ava.” Though Beatrice wore a light smile. “There’s a few extra switches that let me toggle the brake lights, send emergency signals - the standard fare, really.” 

“That’s just -” Ava stopped mid sentence, her eyes fixed on the mirror outside her door. “Beatrice?” 

“Yes?” Beatrice felt a sudden wave of worry. She wasn’t blind to the sudden change in Ava’s tone.

“There’s someone tailing us.” Ava muttered.

“Of course.” Beatrice replied, chancing a look over her shoulder. “Should I try to lose them?” 

“I’m not sure that’s possible out here.” Ava had a point. They were on a single lane road out in the country, with barely any other traffic to blend into, let alone a busy city. “Pull into that gas station.” She added, pointing to the tiny service station that was slightly off the road. 

“Are you packing?” Beatrice asked as she pulled into the small parking lot.

“Always. You?” Ava watched in her mirror as the car followed them into the lot.

“Yes, though hopefully it doesn’t come to that. Act natural.” Beatrice was incredibly tense, mostly due to her worry for Ava rather than herself. 

“I’m going to walk inside. I could use another coffee for the road. Stay here. If they want to make contact, now’s the time.”

“Are you sure?” Beatrice was skeptical about Ava’s plan.

“Yes? I’ve only had one coffee today, so -” 

“About the _Russians,_ Ava.” Beatrice snapped. “I don’t care how much coffee you drink.” 

“Oh.” Ava laughed, though her nervousness was abundantly clear. “I’m worried that avoiding their attempts to make contact would actually be more dangerous.” 

“That’s fair.” Beatrice turned her attention back to the car. It was parked ominously behind them, but the windows were too tinted for Beatrice to see inside. “Alright. I might as well top off our petrol while we’re here. Be careful.” 

“I will.” Ava nodded and gave Beatrice’s hand a quick squeeze before leaving the car. With as much calm as she could muster, Ava headed into the small shop. 

In the glass door, she saw the reflection of her pursuer. He was an average looking man, though a trained eye could see how dangerous he was. There was a slightly odd fold around the left leg of his pants, likely a concealed weapon. Ava was willing to bet that there was a pistol in his coat, too. This, combined with the sharp, observant look in his eyes, made it clear that he was a threat. Thankfully, he was several paces behind her, though that would change once they were both inside. 

The shopkeeper barely looked up from his newspaper as Ava walked in. She headed over to the coffee machine and busied herself, though she was hyper alert of the man’s presence. A few seconds later, he was beside her. 

“You’re not always an easy woman to find.” He whispered in a growl, as he slyly slid an envelope into Ava’s jacket pocket. His voice carried a slight slavic accent, but it was barely noticeable, had Ava not already been listening for it.

“Really?” Ava breathed, trying not to betray her nerves. “You’d think someone with your resources would have no trouble finding little ‘ole me.” 

“Enough jokes.” He rubbed her temple and Ava could see the bags beneath his eyes. “There is a briefing for you in that envelope. Don’t screw this up. You know the consequences.” 

“I love it when a man tells me what to do.” Ava joked darkly.

He only sighed before leaving the store. Ava allowed herself a smile. She was oddly satisfied about her ability to get under his skin, even if it was totally meaningless. After she fixed a cup of coffee, and a cup of tea for Beatrice, she picked out a few snacks and headed to the counter. 

“You know that man?” The shopkeeper asked with surprising interest while Ava paid.

“We were in school together, back in London.” Ava replied, in a sudden accent that sounded almost completely natural.

Beatrice was waiting in the car by the time Ava returned. “I got you a tea.” Ava announced, handing her the cup. “I also got a few snacks. I didn’t know what you liked, so I got a selection - but I figured it wouldn’t be proper to -”

“Ava, please. Focus.” Beatrice wasn’t sure why Ava’s rambling seemed worse than normal, though she had a definite hunch.

“Sorry.” Ava hung her head and took a deep breath. Then, she pulled the envelope from her pocket. “He gave me this.” 

“What does it say?” Beatrice asked as she maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. The Soviets were still watching, making Beatrice feel trapped. Once they were back on the road, and without an obvious tail, she felt herself calm down. At least, somewhat.

Ava’s hands shook slightly as she pulled the folded papers from the envelope. Her eyes scanned the pages quickly, looking for anything that might give her an edge, or a helpful detail. There wasn’t a lot to work with - likely by design.

“Ava, say something.” Beatrice begged as she drove. The continued silence was deafening. 

“It’s less scandalous that you might expect.” Ava replied, finally. “They want us to go about the mission as normal.” 

“Really?” Beatrice's surprise was clear. “Why?” 

“I’m not sure…” Ava looked through the packet a second time. She couldn’t be sure if the lack of details were due to the Russian’s reticence with information, or that they didn’t have much information to begin with. 

“What do you want to do?” 

“You’re asking me?” 

“Yes?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow. “I respect your intelligence and ability in this field. I know that you’re more concerned about my wellbeing than your own, but you might be shocked to find out that I care about you.” 

“I care about you too.” Ava spoke seriously and watched Beatrice’s reaction carefully. 

“I know.” Beatrice couldn’t resist the opportunity to flash Ava a smile - an increasingly common occurrence.

Ava rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide the grin that crossed her face. With a short laugh, she looked back down at the papers. On the last page, there were a few lines of text she missed during her first read.

“Um… Beatrice?” Ava’s pulse accelerated. “We might have a bit of a lead after all.”


	18. The Bunker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ava's mission goes exactly according to plan. Not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO DAYS to update? man i am off my game!

“What is it?” 

“Surprisingly, the Russians don’t want us to intentionally ruin our mission. But, they asked to save one file. For someone named: A. Kuznetsov.” Ava reported quietly. 

“How does that help us?” 

“Well, it might not.” Ava took a second to collect her thoughts. “But here’s a thought. If there were copies of these files elsewhere, why would they want us to save one?” 

“Maybe there aren’t copies?” Beatrice suggested. “Or they  _ want  _ us to see what’s in the file.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Ava folded up the papers and stowed them in her pocket. “Maybe we can track down this Kuznetsov and see what he knows.” 

“Wouldn’t he be expecting that?” 

“It’s likely. We just need to be more convincing than his employer.” Ava replied, her tone darker than Beatrice would prefer. 

“I’m just happy they didn’t ask us to intentionally sabotage our own mission.” 

“Me too.” Ava leaned back and watched the rainy countryside pass by. 

“May I ask you something?” 

“Hmm?” Ava had gotten lost in her thoughts with surprising speed. “Yes, of course.” 

“How far are you willing to go? To escape this, I mean.” Beatrice sensed Ava tense up beside her.

“As far as I have to.” Ava replied grimly. “I don’t care about myself, but the Soviets have threatened your safety. If anything were to happen to you, because of my  _ stupid fucking  _ mistake… Well, I don’t know what I’d do.” 

“Alright. Thank you for answering honestly.” 

“Why do you ask?” 

“It’s complicated.” Beatrice hated to be so vague but she wasn’t exactly excited to explain her reasoning either. 

“Please, Beatrice. Make it simple for me. I can’t take anymore ‘complicated’ right now.”

“As much as you might doubt me on this, you’re a good person, Ava. I don’t know if you have the soul to be as ruthless about this as you might deem necessary.” 

“You think I can’t handle myself?” Ava was almost offended.

“No. I know you can.” Beatrice sighed and tried again. “I know you can, but I worry about what you’ll feel. Afterwards, I mean. This is already bad and it has the potential to get a lot uglier. You’re not the type of person who can just kill and torture with impunity. I worry about the effect it would have on you.” 

“Oh.” Ava kept her gaze fixed out the window. A single tear slipped down her cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. Beatrice wasn’t wrong, far from it. But Ava resented this reality, resented the qualities that made her human in an inhuman profession. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt this way, but the stakes had never been so high. 

“I’ll be by your side through all of this, though. Remember that.” 

“I will.” 

The rest of the drive was nearly silent. Beatrice wasn’t ignorant to Ava’s emotions, quite the opposite was true. She could tell how stressed and nervous Ava was without even looking at her. With a sigh, Beatrice pulled off onto a dirt road. Fields stretched to either side of them, oddly hilly and disformed. Remnants of a war that didn’t end, but instead morphed into another. 

In the distance, there was a low, concrete bunker built into the side of a hill. The dirt road that carried them didn’t stretch all the way there, instead it turned to mud. 

“Is that it?” Ava asked, serious and alert. 

“Yes.” 

“It looks abandoned.” 

“That’s the point.” Beatrice pointed into the mud in front of the car. “You can see the imprints of tire tracks there. Just one vehicle, though. Shouldn’t be too many people inside.” 

“I think we should turn around and come from a different direction.” Ava wasn’t keen about walking across an exposed field in daylight. 

“I couldn’t agree more.” Beatrice put the car in reverse and turned around, careful to avoid the muddy trenches on either side of the road. “On the map, there’s a road that crests around the other side, we could climb the hill and come from behind.” 

“I like that idea.” Ava nodded. She loaded her handgun and tucked it into the holster hidden in her jacket. Then, since all their missions seemed to go sideways, she pocketed a few extra magazines and a concealable blade. 

“Are you expecting that much resistance?” Beatrice wondered as she watched Ava pack away considerably more firepower than normal. 

“I’m just trying to be prepared. I don’t want this to be another Berlin situation.” Ava’s dark mood broke for just long enough to make a joke. “We really have a way of making a scene, don’t we?” 

“I think that might have more to do with you than me.” Beatrice smiled, grateful for the tiny break in their dismal conversation. 

“Hey!” Ava objected, falsely offended. 

A few minutes later, they found themselves atop the hill, looking down at the bunker below. From here, signs of life were more obvious. 

“There’s a small ventilation shaft there, we could slip in that way.” Beatrice pointed towards a spot on the roof. 

“Definitely could work.” Ava agreed. Beatrice began to creep towards it, but Ava pulled her back. “I’ve just had a thought.”

“Oh?” Beatrice looked at her intently. “What is it?” 

“If the Russians contacted us about getting this file, what’s to say they didn’t warn the men inside that we were coming - and the file could be a ruse.” 

“Fuck.” Beatrice whispered, angry that they hadn’t realised sooner. “How likely do you think it is that they know our entire plan? Shannon was incredibly careful.” 

“Maybe…” Ava paused in thought. “If there were tailing us, it would be a fair assumption to think we were coming here. I’m not sure what other points of interest are this far north, especially that we would visit in an MI6 car.” 

“So you think they made an assumption and asked for the file based on that, hoping that we’d think the Soviets know more than they do?” 

“That’s the gist of it.” 

“What should we do then?” Beatrice had an idea, but she wanted Ava’s input as well. 

“Sneak in. Do what we came here to do.” Ava looked at Beatrice, then back down at the bunker. Rain started to fall more steadily. “You?” 

“The same.” Beatrice exhaled sharply. “I don’t love this, but I don’t see another option.” 

“Me neither.” Ava started moving towards the building, as did Beatrice. “And had I know it was going to be so rainy and muddy, I might have worn a different outfit.” 

“Is that really what you are concerned with right now?” 

“I mean…” Ava shrugged. “I can have more than one concern at a time.”

“Oh, my  _ God. _ ” Beatrice whispered, though part of her found Ava’s cavalier attitude charming.

With silent movements, especially beneath the sound of the rain, they crept onto the concrete roof. The ventilation shaft cover had a lid over it, which was unsurprisingly locked. Ava removed her hairpin to pick it, as Beatrice had seen her do before. It was open in less than a minute, and Ava carefully climbed down. Beatrice followed a moment later. 

They found themselves in a storage room, dusty from disuse. It was dark, but light from the room next door illuminated the crack beneath the door. Faint voices could be heard from the other side. Quietly, Ava and Beatrice crept to the door so they could listen. If their suspicions hadn’t already been confirmed, the Russian words that were audible certainly did. 

“What should we do?” Ava mouthed in the dim light.

“We don’t have many choices.” Beatrice breathed while pulling out her weapon. With a sigh, Ava unsheathed her pistol, though she wanted nothing more than to not have to use it. Upon getting a nod from Ava, Beatrice threw open the door and quickly entered the room, ready to make several quick shots. 

Except, the room was empty. On the table was a radio, with a Russian conversation playing. Ava and Beatrice exchanged a silent look - this was not what they expected. The gas that loudly began to pour from the vents was doubly unexpected. Almost immediately, Ava felt her head swim and her throat burn. 

Thinking quickly, she pulled her scarf over her nose and mouth. Then, she pushed Beatrice back into the storage room and shut the door. Ava pulled off her jacket and shoved it into the space beneath the door. 

“So, this seems like a trap.” Ava whispered as she knelt beside Beatrice, who’d leaned against the wall and promptly slid to the floor. “Are you alright?” 

“Definitely…” Beatrice paused. Her head felt heavy and foggy. “Have felt… Better.” 

“Here, let me help you.” Ava helped Beatrice up and all but carried her to the far corner of the room. With deft movements, she climbed up on a dusty cabinet and popped open the hatch they’d entered through. Rain fell through the newly open hole in the ceiling, but it also let in some much needed fresh air.

Before Ava could do much more than that, she heard heavy footsteps in the other room. A moment later, the radio turned off. She knew she only had seconds before they’d check the storage room, so she searched the immediate area for anything that could be useful. Other than a heavy glass paperweight, she didn’t find much of note. 

Just as the door swung open, she ducked behind one of the cabinets. Beatrice was still tucked in the corner, so Ava needed to do all she could to lead the men to her side of the room. And take them out without injuring herself too much more. No problem. She gently tapped her nail on the side of the cabinet, making just enough noise to announce her general presence.

“Ona von tam.” One of the men whispered as he pointed his gun near where Ava was hiding. She counted their footsteps while they crossed the room - there were four of them. Silently, Ava crept backwards, just as they drew closer. The time came to be decisive. With shocking speed, Ava stood and hurled the paperweight into one of the men’s heads. It made a sickening thud and he dropped to the floor. By the time the other men turned, she’d ducked behind another row of cabinets and discarded furniture. 

“Strelyay v neye, kak tol'ko uvidish!” One of the Soviets yelled. Ava shivered slightly as she heard one of them cock his weapon. She needed to be careful, less she wanted to add a gunshot wound to her growing list of injuries. As Ava crept around another row, she pulled the knife from her jacket. She hadn’t wanted to kill anyone today, if avoidable, but that was clearly not an option anymore. With a sigh, she deferred that emotional labour for a safer, calmer time.

For several interminable seconds, Ava led them around the packed room. Popping up a second time, she chucked her knife into one of the agents. It hit him squarely in the neck, though she’d been aiming for his chest. She’d never been a particularly gifted knife thrower. Blood sprayed spectacularly through the air, though it wasn’t enough to distract Ava from the man standing beside him. Where had the fourth one gone?

She got her answer a moment later, when a strong arm wrapped around her. “Poluchil yeye!” He called to his associate on the other side of the room, getting his attention. Ava struggled within his grip, trying to free herself in the sparse moments before the other Soviet arrived. With a ugly grunt, Ava threw her head into the man’s nose. She heard the sound of it breaking and the man released his grip on her enough for Ava to slide from his grip.

A series of fast punches rendered him unconscious, but they weren’t executed fast enough. The final agent stood behind her, his gun loaded and pointed at Ava. 

“I don’t suppose you’d consider  _ not  _ shooting me?” She asked with her trademark flippancy, despite the desperate situation. 

“Chto s toboy ne tak?” He asked.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with  _ you? _ ” Ava countered as she stared down the silencer of his weapon. He lowered his gun slightly, pointing it at her chest instead of her face, while his face seemed to show a modicum of doubt. “That doesn’t make me feel much better, but thank you.” 

Despite his apparent doubt, his finger wrapped around the trigger, in preparation to shoot. A moment later, the signature click of a silenced weapon echoed through the concrete room. Ava looked down at her chest in shock, expecting to feel the pain of the wound any moment. Instead, her assailant crumpled to the floor. Beatrice stood behind him, half leaning on a nearby cabinet, but gun smoking all the same.

“Thank you.” Ava whispered as she stepped over the man’s body and helped Beatrice to the door. The gas had dispersed mostly, though Ava could still feel a slight burn as she breathed. She had to imagine Beatrice felt the same - most likely worse. As they crossed into a third room, they found what they were looking for. Dozens of cabinets of records, with labels. Granted, the labels were written in Russian, but Beatrice read Russian almost as well as she read English.

“We should find Kuznetsov’s file.” Beatrice whispered, still clinging onto Ava. “And check for our own.” 

“Agreed.” Ava nodded and led Beatrice to the cabinets. She poked through them quietly, while Ava’s mind raced. Had this been a trap? Or a test? 

“Ava?” 

“Hmm?” Ava returned to reality just as quickly as she’d left it. 

“I think I can stand on my own now.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Ava took a step back and began poking around on her own. Her movements were more painful now than they had been before, an unsurprising result of yet another fight. Hopefully, Lilith and Camila were having an easier time. 

“Here. I’ve found it.” Beatrice pulled the requisite file from the cabinet and handed it to Ava. 

“Have you found ours yet?” Ava asked, as she looked over the documents.

“They should be…” Beatrice paused, flipping through folders. “Here.” She withdrew two more folders. “They’re empty.” 

“That’s concerning.” 

“It is.” Beatrice discarded the folders. “We should get out of here.” It wasn’t like her to be so serious, nor so focused when she was around Ava, but she was desperate to leave this bunker. More desperate still to be back to safety. 

“Agreed.” Ava grabbed a ton of folders from the cabinet and scattered them across the floor. Then, taking the lighter from her pocket, she lit them aflame.

Smoke was pouring from the building by the time they reached the car. Without comment, Beatrice put the car into gear and pulled back onto the main road. 

“Are you okay?” Ava mumbled, after several minutes of silence between them.

“I should have reacted faster.” Beatrice muttered. She coughed a few times, then continued. “I wasn’t much help to you in that fight.”

“You helped when it mattered. We’re both alive, aren’t we?” 

“Ava.” Beatrice turned to look at her for a moment. “He was  _ maybe  _ a second away from pulling the trigger. Does it not bother you how close that is?”    
“It does! Of course it does!” Ava could feel the familiar threat of tears stinging her eyes. “I’ve only just met you and the thought of my life ending so soon after that makes me sick to think about.” 

“It does?” 

“Yes!” Tears fell onto her shirt, but she made no move to wipe them away. “But I don’t blame you either and I don’t want you to feel bad. How could you have expected that? It was a clever trap.” 

“I should have been smarter than that.” Beatrice whispered hoarsely.

“Can you pull over?” 

“What, why?” Beatrice looked in the mirrors, but there was no one tailing them. At least, not yet. 

“I want to have a proper conversation with you and I can’t do that if you’re driving.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Beatrice pulled off onto the shoulder, but left the car running. Ava had left her coat in the bunker and shivered even despite the blaring heat. 

“Look at me.” Ava pressed a hand to Beatrice’s cheek. It was coated with tears much like her own. “We’re both alive, we’re both alright. That’s what’s most important to me.” 

“I’m sor -” 

“No apologies!” Ava snapped, though she laughed a moment later. “No more apologies. You’ve done nothing wrong and I refuse to hear it.” 

“Alright…” Beatrice kept Ava’s gaze, despite the sick guilt in her stomach.

“Whatever  _ that  _ was, it was probably a result of my indiscretion and stupidity. For you to blame yourself for that would make me sadder than I care to admit.” Ava placed a gentle kiss on Beatrice’s forehead, then the tip of her nose, then finally her lips. “I know that we need to have a proper discussion about this. And we will, in time. But right now, let’s get this folder back to the Soviet contact and then get back to London.” 

“How did you know?” Beatrice asked as her cheeks flushed slightly from Ava’s affection.

“About what?” 

“The gas. What to do?” Beatrice’s lungs still hurt, but she’d felt truly awful back there. 

“I’ve seen that trick before.” Ava answered darkly and didn’t provide any further details. Beatrice decided not to push her on it. At least, not right now. It had been a long day. 

“Ava…” Beatrice swiped a stray tear from her cheek. “I was terrified in that moment that I had been too slow, that I wouldn’t get there fast enough to save you.” 

“But… You did.” Ava tried to smile but it looked and felt unbelievably hollow. 

“I was terrified because I thought I was going to lose you - and we’ve only just…” Beatrice knew what she wanted to say, but she didn’t know if she was brave enough to say it. An odd nervousness for someone trained in international espionage. 

“Maybe I could have just -” 

“Ava, I love you.” Beatrice blurted it out before she could stop herself. Ava only stared for a moment, her mouth slightly ajar. She seemed almost frozen, save for the tears that continued to streak down her face. 

“I love you, too.” Ava  _ finally  _ replied, in the slightest whisper.


	19. Everything Else and Nothing Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice make it safely back to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i have new ideas maybe ill start tonight fuck it

It was long dark before the Russians began tailing them. Their headlights flashed twice and despite every screaming instinct in her body, Beatrice pulled over. They were still an hour outside the city and the country roads were all but abandoned. 

“Stay here.” Ava whispered.

“What? Why the  _ hell  _ would I do that?” 

“This is my mistake. Plus, I want to be ready to make a fast getaway. Just in case.” Ava pulled a spare gun from the glovebox and pressed it into Beatrice’s hand - letting herself hold Beatrice’s hand in her own for longer than was necessary. “An extra bit of insurance never hurt anyone.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice began, but Ava stepped out of the car to face the Soviets with a confidence that Beatrice could tell was false. 

The man from the petrol station met her between the two cars, both of which kept their headlights on. It was a dramatic scene and Beatrice kept her window rolled down so she could keep the gun aimed at the man. 

“Here.” Ava spit, handing the contact the file. As he reached out to grab it, Ava caught his wrist tightly. From the other car, Beatrice heard the familiar cocking of a gun. “What’s to keep me from killing you both right now?” Ava growled, with a ferocity that Beatrice had never seen.

“Honestly?” The man seemed completely calm, despite the threat. “I’m replaceable. You kill me, then I’ll be replaced with someone else.” At that, Ava released her grip and let the man tuck away the folder. “I have to admit, I’m a bit surprised to see you.” 

“It was a cute attempt, but I’m difficult to kill.” 

“Kill, perhaps. But that was not the goal.” He replied, before heading back to his waiting vehicle. 

“Wait, what?” Ava’s façade fell away in an instant, replaced by the worry she’d been carrying for days. “What does that mean?!” 

“We’ll be in touch.” The contact smiled and climbed into the car. A moment later, it pulled back onto the road, to be swallowed by the darkness.

Ava slid back into the car without a word. Beatrice didn’t speak either, though she returned the gun to the glove box, desperately thankful she didn’t have to use it. The calm hum of the engine was the only conversation between them during the entire ride back into London. Even as they checked the car back in at headquarters and caught the train to Beatrice’s flat, Ava still didn’t say a word. It wasn’t until bedtime that they finally had a much needed conversation.

“Ava?” Beatrice had changed into her pajamas and returned to the guest room. She knocked lightly on the open door before pushing it open. Ava was facing away from her, perched on the edge of the bed. “Are you ready for bed?” 

“Hmm?” Ava stood up, clearly startled by Beatrice’s arrival. Hastily, she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay?” Beatrice stepped forward, unsure why Ava was apologising. “Come lay with me, alright?” She climbed into bed and gestured for Ava to join her. Timidly, Ava joined her, leaving a painfully large space between them. 

“Are you okay?” Ava asked, in a quiet voice. 

“I’ve definitely had better nights. You?” 

“I’m okay.” Ava lied.

“No. You’re not.” 

“There are so many thoughts running through my head that I’m not even entirely sure where to begin.” 

“Start with the simplest.” Beatrice suggested gently, as she turned onto her side to face Ava. 

“I’m not sure any of them are  _ simple,  _ but…” Ava paused. “I didn’t want to have to kill anyone today. To say I hate it would still be an understatement.”

“Perhaps this only complicates matters, but if I might ask… Why did you join the agency in the first place? You had to have known this was a possibility…” Beatrice didn’t want to be condescending, but Ava wasn’t naïve enough to ignore such a key drawback of the job.

“I didn’t go right into the CIA. In 1958 I started working for the Red Cross, providing humanitarian relief. Camila, meanwhile, worked for the CIA - as an analyst.” Ava closed her eyes as she explained, recounting a story she’d never told aloud. “I loved it, but I hated it. I hated what I saw, hated the violence, hated the death. But, and maybe this is stupid of me, I felt like I was helping. The team I worked with was well-liked, we were helping in Korea following the war there.” 

Beatrice didn’t reply, sensing Ava was far from finished. “There was a landmine explosion.” Ava choked on her words slightly and Beatrice took her hand; a small sign of comfort. “It killed all of my teammates, my friends. Except me.” Her grief and guilt were clear. “The hairpin I wear everyday belonged to Chanel, one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice whispered. 

“When I came back to the States, I was a mess.” Ava allowed herself a tearful smile. “Camila witnessed it firsthand, and helped me through a lot of it too. She convinced me to interview at the CIA - said I’d be decent at it.”

“I think you’re more than decent.” 

“Perhaps.” Ava replied, noncommittal. “We both started doing missions at the same time, reconnaissance mostly. Back then, I still bought into the belief that we were helping people.” 

“Do you not believe that anymore?” 

“I mean, we’re helping  _ some  _ people, I suppose. Not those who need it.” Ava took a deep breath. “Training was like an indoctrination. They teach you that it’s us versus them, and the Soviets are the ‘bad guys’ who are trying to hurt Americans. You’re probably taught similar, some overly simplified black and white description.” 

“We are.” Beatrice agreed with a slight nod. 

“All of the agencies seem to ignore the people caught in the middle. People who didn’t ask for this conflict and aren’t involved in it, yet had their lives dragged down because of it. I stayed because I thought that, if I and those close to me - like Camila and Mary… Maybe if we rose through the ranks and gained enough influence, we could change that.”

Ava stopped and roughly wiped her tears away. “I see now, obviously, how foolish it was for me to cling onto such a belief.” 

“I don’t think it’s foolish.” 

“Really?” Ava didn’t sound like she believed Beatrice in the slightest. 

“Yes, really.” Beatrice sighed. “But I also think you’re a good person. Maybe too good to be in a position like this at all.”

“So you’ve said…” Ava’s walls came back up, just as quickly as they’d come down.

“I don’t mean that as an insult, you have to know that.” Beatrice worried she’d hurt Ava’s feelings and felt guilty for it. “People who are successful, really successful, in this line of work… They aren’t good. People like Vincent, for example. He doesn’t care who he hurts, what impact his actions have, as long as he is gaining power.” 

“I know. I know.” Ava pulled herself into Beatrice with sudden, desperate movements. Beatrice was surprised, for a minute, but put her arms around Ava. “I don’t want to be like Vincent. I don’t even want to wake up in the morning and face the mess I’ve created.” Her sobs came heavily now, shaking against Beatrice’s chest. 

“Shh… It’s okay.” Beatrice laid a hand on the back of Ava’s head. “We’re going to get through this.” 

“We?” Ava echoed. As much as Beatrice repeated it, Ava still couldn’t believe it. 

“Yes, Ava.” She emphasised. “ _ We  _ are in this together.” 

“I… Alright.” Ava didn’t have the energy to protest and she didn’t think Beatrice was willing to budge on this. “I’m lucky to have you.” 

“You are.” Beatrice held Ava tightly. “But I’m lucky too.” 

“That’s another thing…” 

“Yes?” 

“In the car… You said…” Ava couldn’t seem to find a complete sentence. 

“And you said it back.” Beatrice’s cheeks burned at the thought, though it wasn’t in an unpleasant way. 

“I did.” 

“I meant what I said, Ava.” Beatrice whispered. 

“As did I.” Ava felt a fresh wave of emotions, but this time, not all of them were negative. “Which is part of the reason I’m so  _ fucked up  _ about all of this. If it were just me implicated, I wouldn’t be so upset.” 

“I understand.” 

“But now…” Ava sighed and lifted her head from Beatrice’s arms. “You’ve given me something to fight for, something to care about… I just hope that I’m strong enough to get through this.” 

“You are.” Beatrice watched Ava’s face carefully, knowing that she’d never tire of looking at it. “But you might have to talk to me about how you feel every once in a while. You can’t keep deferring your emotions.” 

Ava crossed her arms, stubborn to the last word. “I’m not deferring anything.” 

“I know that’s a lie.” 

“ _ God! _ ” Ava huffed, frustrated, but at herself more than anything. “It was a trap today. Or was it? I keep second guessing myself, but whenever I try to run through the memories in my head, all I see is the men I killed.” 

“Our contact, he said that it wasn’t meant to kill us.” Beatrice reminded Ava, earning a nod. 

“It definitely seemed like it, in the moment.” Ava replied. “Or was at least made to seem that way? Maybe it was a test…?” 

“Or they wanted us as captives.” Beatrice suggested.

“I don’t know why they would feel the need to test us, they know what we’re capable of, I’m sure.” Ava rubbed her face. “There is a piece of the puzzle that’s missing.” 

“Agreed.” It was a feeling Beatrice was familiar with. Everything would make sense if they had that last piece - it would allow the various bits of data to fit together. 

“What would they have to learn from an interrogation?” Ava wondered aloud. 

“Maybe they think we know more than we do?” 

“Ugh…” Ava rubbed her eyes. 

“Ava…” 

“Yes?” Ava turned to look at Beatrice’s gentle silhouette in the dark. Despite everything, her skin still burned when Beatrice said her name.

“What else is bothering you?” Beatrice knew that she was far from discovering all of Ava’s stressors. 

“Who’s to say that’s not everything?” Even in the dark, Beatrice could tell Ava was grinning as she asked. 

“I’m saying that’s not it, because I know you.” 

“Well, I still feel guilty and awful about what happened in Russia. I feel like a damn idiot.” Ava paused and sighed heavily. “And in the car. We said… You said…” 

“I did…” 

“And you meant it.” 

“I did.” Beatrice repeated. Never, in her life, had she meant anything more. 

“Wow.” Ava felt the air leave her lungs. She tried to speak again but couldn’t find the words. 

“Perhaps it wasn’t the  _ right  _ time to say it, but lately, it doesn’t seem like there’s a right time for anything.” 

“Is there a right time for this?” Ava wondered cheekily, before pressing a soft kiss to Beatrice’s lips. 

“Mmm… Yes.” Beatrice whispered after they broke apart. “I think I can allow it.” 

“I think we should tell Shannon and Mary.” Ava said suddenly. “And Camila. And Lilith. I know the Soviets told me not… But… If we could ensure security…” 

“I agree.” Privately, Beatrice had considered this before, but hadn’t wanted to force the idea on Ava. 

“How long?” Ava asked sharply, as if she knew Beatrice had thought about it.

“What?” 

“How long had you considered telling them. As a legit option for us?” 

“Since you first told me.” Beatrice admitted in a murmur. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ava wasn’t angry, not exactly, but she didn’t sound pleased, either. 

“I don’t want to force you into a decision or try to drive you in a certain direction because it’s what I think you should do.” Beatrice explained. It felt hollow. 

“I could get fired for this.” Ava muttered. “I’d deserve it, of course, but it’d leave me vulnerable. Probably you, too.” 

“If we could convince Mary  _ not  _ to fire you, though…” 

“That might be a bigger ‘if’ than you realise…” Ava began to cry once more and covered her face in shame. She felt trapped, as though the walls were closing in. Even getting in a full breath was exceedingly difficult. “Maybe it’d be better… If I were to leave. You are more than capable, and if they kill me, well, you’d be better off.” 

“Ava!” Beatrice surprised herself with the sharpness of her voice. “How can you even say such a thing?” 

“Because!” Ava bit back, though it wasn’t Beatrice she was angry at. Not even close. “Literally  _ all  _ of this is my fault. Can’t you see how quickly this is spiraling out of control? There aren’t any safe answers, no options for me. If I leave, you and everyone else might actually stand a better chance.” 

“I think we’re long past that point.” Beatrice forced a deep breath in and tried to compose herself. “What’s happened has happened. End of story. You can either let me help you, or… No, that’s it. Maybe I’m stupid and maybe I’m selfish, but I’m not giving you up. If I have to go to Moscow and take the entire KGB out myself, I will.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I  _ love  _ you!  _ Jesus,  _ Ava! You’re smart but you’re  _ bloody  _ thick sometimes!” Even in saying it for the second time, Beatrice still got goosebumps. 

“I love you too.” Ava replied in a shadow of a whisper. “But if you got hurt… Again… Or worse…” Tears continued to coat Ava’s cheeks. “Or if anyone else… I just…” Her words were as fragmented her thoughts. Between the overwhelming exhaustion and the pain of her injuries, their already tenuous situation was seemingly impossible to cope with. 

“You keep acting like there is an option besides me helping you. There isn’t.” Beatrice was nothing if not extremely determined. 

“I… I…” Ava stuttered. “I feel guilty. No, that’s not strong enough of a word.” 

“I know.” Beatrice wrapped her arms around Ava, pulling her in tightly. “But that doesn’t change the facts.” 

“Would you change it? If you could go back in time?” Ava wondered quietly.

“Change what?”

“Us. Our meeting…” 

“No. Not a chance.” Beatrice didn’t hesitate in her answer. Instead, she pressed a gentle kiss to Ava’s forehead. “Let’s try to get some sleep. I think these problems might seem a bit less intimidating in the morning.” 

“You think so?” Ava’s tired hopefulness was evident in her voice. 

“I mean, they can hardly get worse.” Beatrice joked, reminding herself of Ava. 

“Okay…” Ava nestled into Beatrice rather adorably. “I love you.” She breathed tiredly. “ _ Love. Hmmm… _ ” 

“I love you too.” Beatrice replied, trying not to laugh at Ava’s words. 

Surprisingly, despite everything, they both found peaceful slumber that night. Neither woman moved, too tired to even turn in their sleep. Without an alarm, they’d likely have slept straight into the afternoon. As it was, Beatrice’s alarm blared painfully at eight, earning a furious groan from Ava. 

With a frustrated hand, Beatrice turned off the device. She swung out of bed and flinched as her feet hit the freezing floor. Between the cumulative lack of sleep and the accumulating injuries, she was hard pressed to remember a time where she’d felt worse. Similarly, Ava stretched and began to rise, only to wince at the severity of her pain. 

“Coffee. That’ll fix it.” Ava whispered to herself, earning a surprisingly light laugh from Beatrice. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you think of anything else.” Beatrice retorted before walking into the kitchen. 

“I think of plenty else.” Ava mumbled, entirely to herself, before joining Beatrice at the counter. 

Routinely, Beatrice put on the kettle, and busied herself. Meanwhile, Ava watched her closely. It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again. After a few warm sips of coffee, Ava finally found her voice.

“I’m sorry. About last night. I was… Freaking out a bit.” 

“No more apologies.” Beatrice retorted without thought. It was quickly becoming their personal motto. 

“I’m serious, Beatrice.” Ava set her resolve and took Beatrice’s hand in her own, with a firm grip. “I am sorry. Apologies or otherwise, I fucked up. Sure, I’m no closer to finding a way out of this, but my determination is sharper than ever. I’ll do  _ whatever  _ it takes.” At Ava’s words, Beatrice closed her eyes for a moment. Ava’s tone had been almost scary in its verisimilitude, in its raw emotion. Truthfully, Beatrice didn’t  _ want  _ Ava to have to go to extremes… But such was the world they lived in.

“Ava, don’t you -” The phone rang suddenly, interrupting her. Frustrated, Beatrice picked it up and answered. “Hello?” 

“It’s me.” Shannon didn’t, as usual, bother with the normal pleasantries. 

“And?” Beatrice could tell that Shannon hadn’t called just for a chat. 

“We need to meet. Soon. To discuss our findings and next steps.” Her voice seemed strangled and tense. 

“Of course.” 

“My house. Tonight?” Shannon asked, though it was barely a question. “It’ll be a fun…  _ Girls night. _ ” She said this as if they were simply a group of gals, hanging out together while their husbands were away. 

“Alright. We’ll be there.” 

“Glad to hear it.” There was a sound of shuffling papers on Shannon’s end. “Oh, and one more thing, Beatrice?” 

“Yes?” 

“Tell Ava that we know.”


	20. If I'm Going to Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice has an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to all 3 people who are still reading this, hi how are you?

That evening, they ventured across the city, to Shannon’s secluded flat. The blinds were drawn and the radio played, moreso to keep them from being overhead than anything else. Beatrice kept a hand on Ava the entire journey there. Since her phone call with Shannon that morning, and the subsequent news, Ava had been a nervous wreck. She’d spend most of the day pacing, or looking out the window, while Beatrice watched silently. 

In short, it hadn’t been an easy day. For better or worse, this meeting with Shannon and Mary would provide some sort of catharsis; though Beatrice hoped it was a positive one. She dreamed of an Ava that knew peace, or at least was separated from this life. With an increasing frequency, Beatrice found herself craving calm. Normally, the danger of this job didn’t phase her. But things change. 

“Ava. Beatrice.” Mary greeted them with a terse nod. Nervously, they crossed over the threshold and into the living room. Camila and Lilith were already there. “Sit.” Mary commanded, no longer disguising the anger in her voice. From underneath the coffee table, Mary pulled out a hidden handgun and put it in Ava’s hands. Despite her practice with firearms, Ava held it as though it were poisonous, with clear discomfort. 

“Go ahead.” Mary urged, forcing Ava to close her fingers around the pistol. “Just shoot us all now. Get it over with.” 

“Mary, I -” 

“Do it.” Mary interrupted Ava and forced her to lift the weapon. For several seconds, the room was still. Silent. 

“Mary, stop.” Camila finally spoke. Ava set the gun on the table with tears in her eyes. “I’m sure Ava has an explanation.” 

“I don’t.” Ava’s voice was a rough whisper. “Mary’s right.”

“What?” Camila looked at Ava with shock and disappointment in her eyes. 

“But I don’t want to shoot any of you.” Ava continued. “Please. I’d prefer to shoot myself.” 

“No one is shooting anyone. Mary, sit down.” Shannon was stern as she gestured to the empty space on the couch. “Ava. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. Angry, even. Mary and I had a meeting with Vincent, early on the morning that you four were set to go on your respective missions. We bugged his office, intent on getting proof that he’s been colluding with the Russians. Which we got, mind you.” Shannon paused to take a deep breath and run a hand through her hair. “Yet, imagine my surprise when he mentions you. Specifically, as a compromised asset.” 

Beatrice flinched. She hated hearing Ava being called an ‘asset.’ Ava was so much more than that.

“I can explain, but I don’t have any excuses.” Ava hung her head. “I know I’ve fucked up.”

“That you have.” Lilith finally broke her silence, though her face was unreadable. 

“When did this happen?” Shannon asked. “When we first embarked on this endeavor, you said you were clean.” 

“I was.” 

“It’s my fault.” Beatrice couldn’t contain herself a moment longer. “Whatever blame Ava is going to get for this should be shared with me.” 

“No.” Ava turned and faced Beatrice, with a look of shock on her face. “It’s not.” 

“Can one of you just explain what happened already?” Mary seemed understandably frustrated. “Then we can decide what to do?”

“It was when we were in Russia. We met the contact in Leningrad, which went surprisingly well.” Ava began quietly. “Until  _ someone,  _ we couldn’t find him afterwards, got a picture of us in the alley. Kissing.” 

“We already know about this.” Shannon said, though she could sense there was more to the story. 

“Beatrice was worried, rightfully so, that it could get us into trouble. Or at least, our feelings for one another could get us into trouble. We had to stop what we were doing. Be partners, nothing more.” Even in her recollection, the memory made Ava sad. 

“Understandable, I suppose.” Shannon seemed pensive. “Though given what you both know about Mary and I, I’m surprised you were as worried as you were.”

“I wasn’t thinking rationally.” Beatrice avoided her gaze. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise.” Ava told her. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” With a shaky sigh, Ava continued. “I went down to the bar, in an effort to drown my sorrows away.”

“That’s not like you.” Camila whispered. 

“No. For good reason.” Ava rubbed her eyes before continuing. “There was a woman. A honeypot. And I fell for it like the fucking fool I am.” 

“You were drunk…” Beatrice added before anyone else could speak. 

“That doesn’t excuse it!” Ava snapped, but then immediately softened. “I honestly can barely remember what happened. But I woke up in the morning, compromised.”

“I don’t understand.” Lilith’s voice was terse, but not as angry as one might have anticipated. “If Shannon and Mary wouldn’t fire you for your…” Her hesitation was telling and Lilith tried not to blush as she thought of Camila. “Preferences… What’s to say that this is any more damning than your picture with Beatrice?” 

“Soviet entrapments are often multifaceted. I bet there was more than one threat.” Mary muttered, frustrated both with Ava and their enemy. 

“Mary’s right.” Ava tried to appear calmer than she was, but the trembling in her hands gave her away. “They must have determined that blackmail would be more effective with a different threat. They threatened Beatrice.” 

“Oh, no.” Camila was clearly the most sympathetic of the group, save for Beatrice. 

“That’s about it.” Ava leaned back dejectedly, trying and failing to cover the tears in her eyes. 

“This is less than ideal.” Shannon replied, her mind already racing with the possibilities, risks, and dangers. 

“No shit.” Mary put a palm to her forehead. “Ava. I love you. I do. But you’re a  _ fucking idiot. _ ” 

“I know.” 

“I’m inclined to agree.” Lilith added, though Camila gave her a glare for saying so.

“Again, I know.” Ava repeated sadly.

“Alright.” Shannon composed her thoughts somewhat. “This could mean everything, or nothing. There are so many variables and moving parts that it’s impossible to tell. Ava, what  _ exactly  _ did the Russians instruct you to do?” 

“Stay here. Continue working with MI6. Then, they asked us to retrieve a file during this last mission, though that quickly went sideways.” 

“Sideways,  _ how? _ ”

With surprising speed, Beatrice and Ava explained the events of the day prior. It was clear that their experience wasn’t a universal one.

“So, in summary, you two had a much more difficult time than Lilith and I did.” Camila surmised, with an alarmed look on her face. 

“Once again, yes.” Ava nodded. “We can’t seem to catch a break.”

“I’m glad you’re both alright.” Shannon said. Their words were worrying, as were the implications.

“I have an idea.” Beatrice announced suddenly. “But Ava, you’re not going to like it.” 

“Oh, no.” Ava looked crestfallen, but she let Beatrice continue speaking. For better or worse, her  _ fuck up  _ was no longer her own problem, but it extended to the entire group.

“Vincent’s office is bugged. We know that for certain and we’ve already collected more than enough evidence to prove it.” Beatrice paused, but no one spoke, so she went on. “The Soviets told Ava that she wasn’t to leave her agreement with MI6, lest she wanted me to be killed.”

“No, no.” Ava shook her head. “I know where you’re going with this. No.” 

“Ava might have royally screwed up, but I’m inclined to agree.” Lilith whispered. 

“Let me finish.” Beatrice sighed heartily, but took one of Ava’s hands in her own and continued. “Ava pretends to flee the country, but doubles back. We’ll need her help. Between the six of us, we should have more than enough skill and manpower to intercept whatever assassin comes for me. A swift interrogation should provide us with some answers and maybe a few contacts. If needed, we’ll journey back into the Soviet Union.” 

“And then what?” Mary’s disbelief couldn’t have been clearer. “One of us pretends to be the agent and sneaks into the headquarters in Moscow? That would never work.” 

“No. Don’t be ridiculous.” Beatrice bit. “Sorry, that was harsh. It’s been a stressful few weeks.” 

“Understatement of the year.” Ava whispered. 

“I think, should we prove successful, Ava’s freedom can be negotiated.”

“Why?” Camila was curious.

“Ava and I alone have seriously injured or killed…” Beatrice did some quick mental calculations. “Fourteen KGB operatives and a dozen Soviet-affiliated Stasi officers. They’re spread thin, I don’t think they have the resources to keep throwing people at us.” 

“ _ Fourteen. _ ” Shannon repeated in awe. It was an impressive figure, completely unmatched by any other MI6 or CIA agent.

“Not including the two German border guards or the three Russian guards at the embassy.” Ava added in a tiny voice. “So nineteen total.” 

“That’s quite the body count.” Lilith muttered. It was unclear whether she was impressed or disgusted. Perhaps somewhere in between.

“Beatrice.” Mary addressed her directly. “This plan is risky. Almost insanely so. But do you think it will work?” 

A deep breath steadied Beatrice’s nerves. “Yes. I do.” 

“We’ll need to work as a team.” Camila mentioned. “All of us.” 

“Undoubtedly. But I’d understand if any of you didn’t be a part of this.”

“I think we’re more or less implicated already.” Shannon spoke for both herself and Mary. “We’re in this until the end, whatever that may be.” 

“I am too.” Camila didn’t need to think about it. “Ava, you’re my best friend. Mistake or not, I can’t stand idly by while this hangs over you.”

“I love you.” Ava whispered, as she crossed the room to give Camila a quick hug, before returning to her seat. Both Beatrice and Lilith watched with odd curiosity, though their thoughts were slightly different.

“And I’m definitely not Ava’s biggest fan…” Lilith added, though a small smirk played across her mouth. “But this feels like the right thing to do.” 

“Really?” Shannon regarded her carefully, wondering if Camila’s influence had anything to do with Lilith’s sudden increase in empathy. She left her suspicions unsaid.

“Yes.” 

“Ava?” Beatrice said her name gently, snapping Ava from the destructive and awful thoughts that swirling through her mind without end. “What do you think?” 

“I don’t like it.” Ava mumbled. Slowly, she looked around the room, then back at Beatrice. It was insane, to Ava, that each of these fantastically talented women wanted to help her, despite the massive mistake she’d made. It didn’t make sense. “But if everyone is  _ really  _ willing to go all in, then I’m in too.” 

“That’s good.” Beatrice squeezed her hand. “Seeing as your role is quite instrumental.” 

It was late by the time they made it back to Beatrice’s flat. With a surprisingly productive evening of planning behind them, both Ava and Beatrice felt slightly less boxed in than they had before. Sure, this plan was beyond dangerous, as was their adversary. But at least they  _ had  _ a plan now, which was a comfort in itself. Still, Beatrice could sense that Ava was leaving something unsaid. The moment they crossed the threshold, she couldn’t keep herself from asking. 

“There’s something you’re not saying.” Beatrice whispered as they hung their coats up on the rack. 

“I don’t like when you do that.” Ava replied, without any of her natural charisma. 

“You’re deflecting.”

“So what if I am?!” Ava’s temper flared from nowhere and Beatrice couldn’t help but flinch slightly. “Sorry…” She immediately calmed herself and retreated to the couch. 

“Ava, please.”

“I hate this plan.” Ava finally replied.

“I know.” Beatrice wasn’t surprised by Ava’s admission in the slightest. Yet, she wasn’t going to call it off, either. She had faith in their success as a team, and if it meant freeing Ava, then Beatrice would do whatever it took. 

“Everyone’s willing to risk their lives for me.” 

“Yes.” Beatrice crossed the room and sat across from Ava, watching her carefully. 

“It doesn’t make sense.” Ava barely kept from crying.

“Why not?” 

“I’m…” She seemed to be struggling to find the right words. “I’m not worth it.” 

“What?” Beatrice’s surprise was nothing if not clear. “Are you joking?” 

“No?” 

“Ava. I’d give my life for you a dozen times over.” 

“If I hadn’t… If…” Ava stuttered. Her mind was messy and she couldn’t seem to string a coherent sentence together. 

“I can’t imagine the guilt that you feel. I really can’t.” Beatrice began, carefully choosing her words. “But you  _ need  _ to accept that we all care about you and are willing to help. Okay? You’re not the only person in this line of work that wants to help people.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Ava didn’t meet Beatrice’s gaze. 

“No apologies, remember?” Beatrice’s smile was somber. 

It was quiet for a few minutes, as each woman got lost in her thoughts. “This might be our last night together.” Ava sighed. “At least for a little while.” 

“I hope not.” 

“I could…” Ava’s cheeks grew red in her nervousness. “I could make it worth your while.” 

“Ava!” Beatrice exclaimed, feeling her heart beat faster at the very suggestion. 

Of course, Beatrice wasn’t as offended as she initially seemed, since she was quick to join Ava on the couch. With simultaneously gentle and commanding movements, she pressed herself into Ava - their lips crashing together fervently. It was even later until they slept, despite their exhaustion, though the feeling of catharsis was unmatched. 

The next morning was a solemn affair. Ava and Beatrice shared a quiet breakfast, with barely a word spoken between them. Following this, the inevitable couldn’t be put off any longer. Beatrice rose, as did Ava. They stood by the door and exchanged a few kisses. 

“Be safe. Please.” Ava’s tone was nothing short of pleading. “I love you.” 

“You too.” Beatrice hugged Ava tightly. “I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

Before either of them could continue crying, Ava crossed the threshold, bag in hand. Despite her best efforts, a few tears darkened her shirt as she exited the building. Outside, she hailed a cab and politely asked the driver to take her to the airport. She was as calm as she reasonably could be, though nervous energy made her stomach turn. 

It was weird, travelling both alone and so openly. This was part of the plan, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier. At the airport, she quickly walked through the terminal. The journey made her skin crawl, but she was happy to be in the crowded building. At least here, she could quickly find some anonymity after being tailed to the airport. 

Meanwhile, Beatrice went to work as she normally did. Being back in a routine, even one that she had maintained for years, felt strange. What really felt strange, unsurprisingly, was being without Ava. Even if she weren’t nervous about upcoming events, she still felt as though she’d suddenly lost a limb. Dramatic? Perhaps. But Ava had quickly become a part of her, a part of her that was now missing. 

Without a word, Beatrice sped through security and up to Shannon’s office. Here, Mary and Shannon were waiting patiently, for their morning meeting. Delicately, Mary closed the door and Shannon turned the radio on. They still didn’t mention their plans, obviously, as one could never be sure who might be listening. 

“Mary has informed me that Ava has returned to the States.” Shannon began, though she subtly winked as she spoke. Even the fiction of Ava’s departure made Beatrice surprisingly sad. 

“She has.” Beatrice worked hard to keep her voice even. “She no longer felt like our partnership was beneficial.” 

“I’ve filled out the paperwork.” Mary added. “For right now, you’ll be operating alone. Is that alright?” 

“That’s fine.” 

“Once Mary and Camila return to the U.S., you and Lilith will be partnered up again.” Shannon reported quietly. “For now, I have some smaller operations I need you to complete within the city. Counter-espionage missions, mostly.” 

“I can do that.” Beatrice was nothing if not agreeable.

It wasn’t until three days later that the Soviets came for Beatrice. She’d grown increasingly reckless, in order to draw them out. This made everyone more than a little bit nervous, but Beatrice was oddly thankful that Ava hadn’t been part of the discussions. It was obvious what her thoughts would have been. Regardless, Beatrice walked alone through the alleyway, not far from where she and Ava had been attacked. Despite the violence, the thought made her sad. 

“You’re a hard woman to catch alone.” An accented voice echoed through the rainy alleyway. 

“That’s what all the ladies tell me.” Beatrice retorted, before pulling her gun from her coat and turning, pointing it at her follower. He already had his weapon trained on her, locking the two of them in a standoff. 

“Drop your weapon.” He commanded.

“Drop yours.” Beatrice was in just as advantageous a position as he was.

“I’ve got reinforcements on the way. Can you say the same?” His tone was gloating. Frustrated, though she didn’t show it outwardly, Beatrice thought of her friends. They’d been escorting her to and from work, just in case the KGB came. Of course, she’d dropped the protection in an attempt to lure them out. Which had worked, but at what cost? 

“Yes. I can.” Beatrice bluffed, hoping she sounded more confident than she did. Rain fell even heavier around them, sending a chill down Beatrice’s spine. 

“You’re bluffing.” The assassin insisted, though he didn’t seem certain. 

“Try me.” Beatrice smiled. The cold rainwater ran down her face, and she was in undeniable danger, but she felt powerful all the same. Her confidence must have given the man pause, because he turned at the sound of a car door slamming shut on the nearby street. Beatrice took her opportunity and shot him in the head, before running in the opposite direction. She didn’t want to stick around to meet the other Soviet operatives. 

The streets were all but deserted as Beatrice ran back in the direction of the MI6 building. Should anyone be following her, she didn’t want to lead them back to her flat. Furiously, her feet pounded the pavement, but she ignored the burning in her lungs and muscles. Just as she was about to turn onto the main street, a strong hand pulled her back into the alleyway and tossed her brutally against the brick.

Her vision swam slightly as she looked up. Even with the spinning in her head, Beatrice knew the barrel of a gun when she saw one. It gleamed in the slick rain and Beatrice felt time slow down. She was surprisingly calm, though her heart ached in missing Ava. If she was going to die, she wanted Ava to be with her too.


	21. The Monster I've Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion and a new plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont outline anything before i write. i literally started writing this story with only the thought 'hey what if they were spies!' 
> 
> that being said, ive only just decided on an ending for this. probably looking at 90k - 100k words by the time we're all said and done.

Ava had never run faster in her life. Rain was quickly soaking through her shirt and plastering her hair to her face. Yet she never felt cold, never felt anything beyond a blinding compulsion to keep Beatrice safe. What was she even doing? Walking alone, in this part of the city, at night? Had Ava not been so worried, she might have been angry. 

Desperately, she trawled through the back alleys, towards where she thought she saw Beatrice enter. After a few breathless moments, Ava  _ did  _ find someone. That someone, however, was not Beatrice. 

“Where is she?!” Ava threw the presumed KGB operative against the wall, knocking his head against it with surprising force. 

“Ya ne skazhu.” He muttered, with a terrifyingly creepy smile across his face. 

“Are you sure? I can be quite convincing.” Ava growled, throwing another punch into his face. Still, the man made no move to speak again. Frustrated, she looked around, trying to find a clue as to where Beatrice or the rest of the Soviet team was. The maze of alleyways was unforgiving though; and Ava was forced to turn back to the agent. 

“Please. Tell me.” Desperation bled into her voice, as much as Ava tried to hold it back. 

“No.” 

“ _ God, _ forgive me.” Ava whispered as she held the man against the wall and prepared for what she was about to do. It was undeniably brutal, but she’d do just about anything to ensure Beatrice’s safety. 

Using one arm to pin the man back, Ava removed her hairpin and stabbed in into his eye. A strangled and painful scream filled the alleyway as blood ran down his face.

“Tell me now.” Ava commanded. Her voice was cold and icy, completely unlike herself. 

“No.” He gasped, determined to keep his secrets. Angrily, Ava prepared to repeat the procedure with his other eye. Before she could, another operative, having heard the scream, pulled her away. 

Nearby, Beatrice’s assailant heard his associate’s shout, and turned his head - thinking that Beatrice was nothing more than a sitting target. He wouldn’t be the first man, nor the last, to underestimate her. Despite the painful spinning in her head, Beatrice capitalised on the opportunity and kicked his gun away. 

With a grunt, he moved to strike her, but Beatrice was fast. Instead, he threw his hand into the brick and Beatrice heard the bones break. He used his weight and size advantage to hold Beatrice to the wall, but she smashed her face into his, forcing him to release his grip. Beatrice’s nose broke on impact, sending a rush of crimson down her face, but she barely felt it in the cold. 

Using his moment of distraction, Beatrice threw a punch into his face, followed quickly by a roundhouse kick. He dropped to the ground in an instant. With a small sigh, Beatrice withdrew her own gun and shot him. It wasn’t what she wanted, and it certainly wasn’t what Ava would want, but she couldn’t take the risk. Then, without comment, she retreated back into the alleyways, hoping fervently that the distracting shout signified Ava’s return.

The man that Ava had blinded fell heavily to the soaked pavement, while Ava struggled to escape the other operative’s hold. She threw her head back into his, or tried to, but he anticipated the movement and dodged the attack. Thus, Ava dove to the ground in a reversal of momentum. Her landing was beyond painful, but it worked, as she was able to escape his hold and stand on her own.

Blood dripped from a thick cut across Ava’s face and mixed into the puddle beneath her. The man stood almost as quickly as she did, but seemed intimidated. Between what she had done to his colleague and the terrifying look on her face, his fear was understandable. Before Ava could do anything, the man crumpled back to the ground; a fresh bullet lodged in his back.

“Ava?” Beatrice wasn’t entirely sure if she was imagining Ava, or if she was really there.

“Beatrice.” Ava breathed, a moment before Beatrice crashed into her. They held each other for several minutes, completely oblivious to the blood and icy rain. Only when the blinded operative made a noise did they break apart. 

“Ava…” Beatrice repeated, looking down at the man’s gruesome injuries. 

“I was trying to find you before…” Ava didn’t finish her sentence. Couldn’t finish her sentence. As the adrenaline from fighting began to wear off, the weight of her actions seemed to settle around her. Ava could feel herself shaking, but she wasn’t entirely sure if it was from the cold or something else entirely. 

With a fervor in her movements, Beatrice lifted the man’s head by his hair. “Tell your employer we’d like to renegotiate our deal. Understood?” He made a tiny noise to show his agreement and Beatrice dropped his head back to the pavement. Then, she took Ava’s hand in her own, leading her back to the flat. 

The three days spent apart had felt like an eternity to the both of them. Dramatics aside, in their chosen profession, it was entirely likely that one or both of them could have died during that time. Their strong and continued grip on one another only added to the feeling of desperate gratitude that seemed to permeate the entire evening. 

Once they returned to Beatrice’s flat, thankfully without further incident, Beatrice stripped off her sopping coat at the door. Ava wordlessly did the same. Still plenty wet and bloody, Beatrice crossed the room and picked up the phone to call Shannon. The phone only rang twice before she picked up.

“Hello?” 

“Hi. It’s me.” Beatrice muttered, trying to keep her voice steady, but ultimately failing. 

“What happened?” Shannon could read Beatrice’s tone like a book, even without her shaky body language as an accompaniment. 

“Good news and bad news.” Beatrice was nothing if not cryptic. “How soon can you meet?” 

“Just Mary and I? Or the full team?” 

“Everyone.” 

“Give me an hour. We’ll come to yours.” Shannon replied after a few seconds of deliberation. 

“Don’t be followed.” Beatrice added, before hanging up.

During the short conversation, Ava stayed by the door, nearly motionless save for the trembling in her limbs. Beatrice, rather frantically, crossed back over to her, taking the woman she loved in her arms once more. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Beatrice whispered, holding Ava as tightly as she could. 

“That was close.” Ava finally spoke. “Way too close.” 

“I know.” Beatrice pulled away and held Ava at arm’s length. “You need stitches. Again.” 

“What else is new?” Despite everything, a tiny grin crossed Ava’s face, making Beatrice’s pulse accelerate. 

“Come on. Let’s get showered, changed, and cleaned up before everyone gets here.” 

“Together?” Ava’s eyes grew wide and Beatrice couldn’t help but laugh. 

They did end up showering together, in the end. Though, it was less of a romantic affair, and more of a sacred show of gratitude. In truth, the couple couldn’t bear to be apart after the stress of the last few days. Or weeks, really. And it was all too familiar of a scene afterwards, with Ava sitting on the couch and Beatrice stitching her back together. Idly, Ava couldn’t help but wonder if Beatrice could stitch up her heart, too.

“Your nose is broken.” Ava whispered, as Beatrice stitched the ugly gash on her cheekbone. 

“It is.” 

“You’re going to have quite the bruise tomorrow.” 

“I am.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ava’s apology came just as Beatrice was finishing her work. She set down her tools and put a gentle hand on Ava’s knee.

“No apologies, remember?” 

“You’re hurt because of me.” 

“If you hadn’t shown up, I’d be dead.” Beatrice admitted, thinking of how few seconds stood between her and death. 

Silence enveloped them as Ava watched Beatrice intently, without reply. Her eyes were fixed on Beatrice’s face, as if searching for something. An indication that she was exaggerating, perhaps. There was none to be found. 

“Why were you alone?”

“What?” Whatever Beatrice had been expecting Ava to say, it wasn’t that.

“That wasn’t what we agreed upon.” Anger flashed across Ava’s face. “You were supposed to stay with someone, at least one person… Just in case…” She hesitated for a moment. “Just in case exactly what happened today, happened.” 

“I know that, but -” 

“No.” Ava stood, suddenly, ignoring the pain that burned through her body as she did. “Can’t you see how reckless that was?” 

“Yes!” Beatrice rose too and her cheeks burned in frustrated emotion. 

“Do you?” Ava couldn’t seem to keep a handle on her temper. It was odd, Beatrice thought, to see her so upset. A rarity. “You could have  _ died,  _ today. Do you understand that? You’ve been angry at me for the exact same thing, yet you seem surprised that I’m upset.” 

“I’m not surprised.” Beatrice added in a tiny voice. 

“Oh?” Ava softened slightly.

“I’ve been with someone. Daily. I was really careful. But it didn’t seem to be working.” Beatrice explained, though she knew it sounded hollow. She knew it was reckless, borderline cocky, even. 

“So what? You thought you’d just go all out and see what happened?” Ava’s voice cracked as tears began to run down her face. 

“I…” Beatrice didn’t want to lie. That  _ is  _ what she did. “Do you remember our conversation when we first got back from Russia? About expiration dates?” 

“I do.” Ava felt like the room was spinning around her. She knew where Beatrice was going with this and she desperately wished she could change the direction of the conversation. 

“Maybe my time is up too.” 

“No.” Ava pulled Beatrice into a tight hug once more. “This isn’t a luxury either of us have right now. I’m sorry.” 

“I know, I know.” Beatrice sobbed into Ava’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, too.” 

“Why?” 

“I convinced everyone to go along with this, even though I knew the risks.” Beatrice exhaled sharply. “Even though I knew… You’d be angry.” 

“Why?” Ava repeated. She was used to Beatrice chastising her for her own recklessness. What Ava wasn’t used to was Beatrice being reckless herself.

“Because I’m sick of  _ this. _ ” 

“Of?” Ava needed clarification.

“Of running. Of being scared. Of this threat hanging over us!” Beatrice grew agitated, but calmed down again almost immediately. “I just want to live my life. Preferably, with you in it. And safely.” 

“I want that too.” Ava replied, though she felt cold. “But tonight… That was… Really dangerous.” 

“I know.” Beatrice’s cheeks burned in shame. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s my fault you’re in this position. “I’m sorry.” 

“We really need to stop apologising.” Beatrice couldn’t help but laugh, despite the tears on her face. 

“We do.” Ava agreed with a smile. 

A knock at the door interrupted any further conversation. Ava moved to answer it, though Beatrice quickly noticed the painful stiffness in her gait. 

“Hi.” Ava whispered as she ushered everyone inside. Camila wasted no time in hugging Ava, grateful to see her safe and back with the group. 

“Ava,  _ Christ,  _ what happened to your face?” Mary asked, simultaneously frustrated and concerned. 

“So…” Beatrice began, as everyone convened in the living room. “There was a bit of an incident.” 

“That much is clear.” Lilith muttered. “Beatrice, is your nose broken?” It was already starting to bruise. The tears in both her and Ava’s eyes only made them look worse. 

“Yes.” Beatrice nodded. 

“What am I going to do with you two?” Shannon asked, though the question was rhetorical. “How many more?” 

“Three.” Ava answered before Beatrice could. “Well, one of them’s not dead, but…” She didn’t finish her sentence, but the meaning was clear. The operative she blinded wouldn’t be returning to his post.

“ _ Christ. _ ” Mary repeated. 

“So you didn’t manage to interrogate one of them? Is that what I’m gathering?” Lilith’s tone was sharp, though worry motivated her more than anger. She wasn’t untouched by this conflict and Camila’s constant fretting seemed to have rubbed off on her. 

“I… Hmm… Asked one of them about renegotiating our current arrangement.” Beatrice reported cryptically. 

“That’s… Something.” Shannon ran a hand through her hair. The stress was etched into her body language. “We can’t sit on the information about Vincent forever. The longer we hold onto it, the less likely he is to face consequences. But releasing it now could have dire consequences.” She didn’t reach any sort of conclusion.

“We need a plan C.” Ava announced. 

“Ava?” Beatrice’s voice still made Ava’s heart pound. “Do you remember the file we were asked to retrieve from the bunker?” 

“Yes, why? Agent A. Kuznetsov, I think.” 

“We could -” Beatrice began, only to be interrupted by Lilith. 

“Wait, I know him.” 

“What?” Camila and Ava asked in shocked unison. 

“He’s a contact.” Shannon explained. “Lilith has met him for intel a few times. He’s a KGB defector.” 

“Oh?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow. “That’s certainly compelling.”

“It might take me a day or two, but I can get in touch with him.” Lilith reported. She too had been infected by Beatrice’s new hope. “A task that will be made doubly easier with Camila’s help.” At that, Camila smiled ever so slightly, an action noticed only by Ava. She didn’t comment on it, but filed it away to ask about a later time. A calmer time, ideally. 

“Then what?” Mary wondered. She hated the constant stressful danger. “We use the information from this Kuznetsov guy to what end?” 

“He might be able to help us get in touch with Soviet leadership.” Shannon posited with a gentle hand on Mary’s leg. “Plus, I’m hopeful that he would have information that could help us close the trap on Vincent. There was a schism within the KGB quite recently, and Kuznetsov found himself on the outs. I have no doubt that he’d be willing to help with little to no intimidation.” 

“That being said…” Lilith paused suggestively. “I’m not opposed to some intimidation. He’s not a terrible person, but he is an asshole.” 

“So that settles it then?” Mary allowed herself a spark of hope. “Lilith and Camila will contact this… Sorry, what was his name again?” 

“Kuznetsov. Adriel Kuznetsov.” Shannon answered. “Are you both alright to get in touch with him? Meanwhile, Mary and I will make some preparations for taking care of Vincent.”

“What about us?” Ava asked. She didn’t want to sit idly by while others risked their lives. 

“Just… Stay put.” Shannon told her. “Beatrice too. You’ve both been on the frontlines of this for too long. It’s not an unlikely possibility that there is more violence to come. Take the break while you have the chance.” 

“But -” Shannon’s order was the last thing that Ava wanted.

“No buts.” Mary interrupted. “Unsurprisingly, I agree with Shannon. It probably won’t be long until the ball gets rolling again. Take advantage of this break, alright?” 

“I’ll see to it.” Beatrice responded, while giving Ava’s hand a squeeze. She wasn’t thrilled about the order either, but she was significantly more professional in her handling of the matter. Besides, it would give her and Ava a little bit of time to settle down, which would undoubtedly be beneficial for the both of them. 

“Thank you.” Shannon gave her a nod and rose to leave. Mary followed suit. “Stay safe, both of you.” She added, before exiting. 

Camila stood and gave both Beatrice and Ava a massive hug. “Seriously. What Shannon said.” She whispered, before leading Lilith from the flat. A minute later, Ava and Beatrice were alone once more.

“Ava, I -” Beatrice stopped talking at the sight of Ava. She had tears in her eyes once more and seemed to be on the brink. Of what, exactly, Beatrice didn’t know. 

“Hey.” Beatrice stood to kneel beside Ava and rest a gentle hand on her leg. “It’s okay.” 

“No.” Ava whispered, before the sobs became heavier. It was painful, how hard she began to cry, but Ava couldn’t seem to stop herself. “It’s not.” She added in a choked voice.

“I…” Beatrice paused. She wrapped herself around Ava with a warm tenderness, trying to help Ava feel even a modicum of safety. “Why?” 

“Because.” Ava’s answer was nothing short of unhelpful, but she elaborated after a few deep breaths. “I love you, Beatrice. So much. More than I ever felt I could love someone before. But this… Today… Well, not just today… We’ve had too many close calls. I’m terrified of losing you. And…” She swallowed hard, trying to force herself to continue speaking. “I’m scared of the person I’ve become.”

“I love you too…” Beatrice replied in a whisper. She didn’t have an answer or adequate response to Ava’s other words. In truth, she’d seen the after effects of Ava’s violence earlier today. As much as Ava blamed herself, however, Beatrice thought nothing of the sort. Had the roles been reversed, Beatrice knew she would have done the same. If not worse. Was Ava too sensitive or had Beatrice become a monster along the way? She didn’t have an immediate answer. 

“I can handle it, though. I can.” Ava added, sounding somewhat desperate, but not dishonest. “I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes to atone for my mistakes as well as keep you safe.” 

“I might not be the one to judge this, but I think you’ve more than atoned already.” Beatrice replied quietly, while burying her head into Ava’s shoulder. She couldn’t help but think of how much Ava had already suffered, for a single mistake. Granted, it was a big mistake, but still.

“Maybe…” Ava wiped her tears away, though new ones quickly took their place. “Does it not bother you? How many people we’ve killed or injured along the way?” 

“They’ve done their best to hurt us too…” Beatrice gave a non-answer, painfully aware of the myriad of injuries that adorned both their bodies. 

“I know…”

“It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers you.” Beatrice answered properly after a minute of silence. “Maybe I’m as bad as they are. Maybe I’ve become a monster.”

“No.” Ava was nothing if not adamant. She took Beatrice’s face in her hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, before holding her there for a moment. As weird as it sounds, Ava missed her scent in the nerve wracking days they’d spent apart. 

“Revealing Vincent as the traitor he is will undoubtedly save dozens of lives, if not more. That, plus your safety and the safety of our friends is what is driving me right now.” Beatrice concluded, trying to be as logical as possible. Ava’s proximity was quickly becoming overwhelming. 

“I think…” Ava’s sudden nervousness bled into her words. “We should maybe… Consider what we want to do once this is over?” 

“We?” Beatrice echoed, with the sole purpose of teasing the woman she loved. 

“I mean…. I… Just thought....” Ava fumbled through her words, before noticing Beatrice’s sudden grin. “You’re a jerk!” 

“Sorry.” Beatrice kissed Ava a few times, savouring the contact between them. “Couldn’t resist.”

“ _ God.  _ I love you so much.”


	22. Painfully Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes smoothly and according to plan. Not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Ava spent most of the night feverishly trapped somewhere between lucidity and the hell of her nightmares. Given everything, this was unsurprisingly, but both her and Beatrice could have used a good night’s sleep. Or twenty. Still, Beatrice refused to leave Ava’s side and held her tightly until the bleary light of dawn began to break.

“I’m sorry.” Ava whispered as the room began to lighten. Her hair was matted back with sweat and she was plainly exhausted. The ugly gash across her cheekbone did nothing to soften her appearance. “You should have gone in the other room. Perhaps you could have gotten some sleep that way.” 

“I didn’t want to leave you.” Beatrice mumbled, still holding Ava tightly. As expected, her nose and eyes had bruised quite spectacularly overnight. 

“You’re a good person, Beatrice.” Ava replied while nestling her head into Beatrice’s shoulder. 

“You keep saying that.” While Beatrice wasn’t struggling as much as Ava, it would be both naïve and dishonest to say there was no discord in her heart. “I’m not sure you’re right.” Her mind flashed back to the alleyway, back to the man she shot in cold blood. It wasn’t the first time and it likely wouldn’t be the last. Yet, Beatrice felt guilty, specifically for not feeling as guilty as she reckoned she should. 

“No. I’m right.” Ava had convinced herself, even if Beatrice was less sure. “You can’t continue to think I’m a good person and then tell yourself the exact opposite. That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“I…” Beatrice stopped. Ava was right, logically, though this was far from a logical topic. “I can do what I want, thank you.” 

“You’re quite stubborn, you know that?” 

“I’m stubborn?!” Beatrice retorted. Their familiar banter crept back into conversation and it made both women feel oddly comforted. For a few minutes, it was as if they existed in a bubble. A single, safe fold of time, where none of the enemies that plagued them could be found. 

“That’s what I said.” Ava replied confidently, with a smirk upon her face. “I’m not sure why you’re arguing about it.” 

Beatrice sighed heartily, happy and grateful for Ava - despite the circumstances. With a languid stretch and a few kisses, she finally spoke.

“Do you want coffee?” 

“Beatrice.” Ava grew quite stern, then. “You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

“Why do I feel like you’re winding up to something?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow in suspicion. 

“That was a stupid question.” Ava concluded with a laugh.

Ava kept the duvet wrapped around her as she waddled into the kitchen. With a short chuckle, Beatrice put the kettle on. A few minutes later, they were seated together at the table, steaming drinks between them.

“Thank you.” Ava whispered gratefully between sips of coffee. 

“You’re welcome.” Beatrice replied. The morning felt almost routine at this point, a perfunctory dance between them. That didn’t make her savour it any less. 

A phone call interrupted their silence a moment later. “Hello?” Beatrice sounded slightly hoarse and more than slightly tired when she answered.

“It’s me.” Lilith wasted no time with polite greetings or platitudes. “We’re in business. Tonight.” 

“Oh?” Beatrice knew Lilith was being intentionally vague, seeing as they were on the phone, but she still wasn’t quite sure how to respond. 

“It’ll be a bit of a drive. We’ll pick you up at seven. Alright?” Lilith sounded stressed as she spoke and Beatrice was nothing if not empathetic. But also, surprised. It wasn’t like Lilith to get involved in a conflict that wasn’t her own. Doubly so since she didn’t seem particularly fond of Ava. 

“Yes. Alright. See you then.” Beatrice took a deep breath. “And Lilith?” 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you.” 

“Oh.” There was a moment of silence on the other end and Beatrice swore she could hear Camila whispering. “You’re welcome.” Lilith hung up before Beatrice could reply. 

“So…” Ava’s nervousness resurfaced. “What’s the plan?” 

“We’re leaving tonight to meet with this Adriel character.” Beatrice explained carefully. “At seven.” 

“Not much to go on.” 

“Lilith couldn’t say much over the phone.” 

“I know…” Ava’s brevity was telling. 

“Ava. Look at me.” Beatrice took both of Ava’s hands in her own and forced eye contact between them. “It’s going to be okay. One way or another, we’re both going to get out of this. Safely.” 

“You can’t promise that.” 

“I can.” And Beatrice was nothing if not earnest. Though, had she been able to see the future, she would have known the next few days were going to be anything but safe. 

“Alright, alright.” Ava relaxed ever so slightly. “I trust you.” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice pressed a kiss to her forehead. “What do you want for breakfast?” 

“Oh… I…” Ava shook her head. “Just coffee. I’m not hungry.” 

“Ava. You’ve barely eaten in days. You’ve got to eat something.” 

“I…” Ava looked up at Beatrice, then back down at her coffee, then back at Beatrice again. “Alright.” She didn’t have the energy to argue. 

The rest of the day passed in similar waves of fitful nervousness and distracting banter. To say that either woman was comfortable in their predicament would be a bold faced lie. Beatrice, while seeming slightly more calm than Ava, was only more collected by a small increment. They were both fretful, beyond anxious about what that evening would bring. 

Eventually, thankfully, it was nearly time to leave. They both dressed modestly, careful to choose clothing that would allow movement. Just in case, but lately, their missions seemed to be a constant collection of worst case scenarios. Thus, both women thought it fitting to just prepare for the worst from the outset. 

Ava put on a brave face as she stepped out into the freezing night. Beatrice followed suit. She was impressed with Ava’s fortitude, and her own, if we’re being honest. 

“Where we headed, hot stuff?” Ava asked Mary as she climbed into the car. At that, Beatrice only stared at Ava in the dim ambient lighting. Was this even the same woman who’d spent the night crying? Unsure of how to feel about Ava’s sudden mask, Beatrice had to be content with sitting beside Ava and keeping a tight hold on her hand. 

“Adriel couldn’t meet us in the city.” Lilith explained as Mary pulled back onto the street. “As a defector, he has to keep a low profile. There are a lot of people looking for him.” 

“So… We’re going where?” 

“Just outside of the city. Rural enough that we don’t risk being apprehended or overhead.” Lilith clarified with surprising calm. 

“What if Adriel tries to make a move?” Beatrice wondered, though she wasn’t the only one harbouring the worry. 

“It’s unlikely.” Shannon spoke up. “There’s nothing to indicate that he has the resources. Besides, you and Beatrice alone routinely take out teams of six. To apprehend all of us they’d need a small army.” 

“Famous last words.” Camila added with a smirk. Oh, the universe has a sense of irony sometimes.

It took an hour for them to make it out of Greater London and into the countryside. The land became greener and more wild. Though it still bore the scars of not only the first world war, but the second. 

“Everyone’s brought a gun, right?” Shannon inquired as they drew closer to their destination, though it was a question that reflected her own nerves. 

“Of course, Shan.” Mary laid a hand on her leg, while keeping the other on the steering wheel. “Relax, it’s alright.” 

Weirdly, this made Ava feel slightly better. Knowing she wasn’t the only one nervous about their predicament made her feel less alone. It helped reaffirm that she  _ wasn’t  _ going crazy, nor becoming untethered to reality. Beatrice gave her hand a squeeze, as if able to sense Ava’s sudden change in demeanor. 

“We’ve got a tail.” Mary said after a few minutes. The panic in her voice was poorly disguised.

“That wasn’t part of the arrangement.” Lilith whispered, turning around to look at the car that was pursuing them. 

“ _ Christ. _ ” Shannon muttered. A second car had pulled up beside them. 

“How are we handling this?” Camila seemed the calmest of everyone and she had a hand on the pistol in her jacket. 

“Unlikely that I’ll be able to lose them out here.” Mary reported as she stomped on the accelerator. 

“This feels familiar.” Ava told Beatrice, who only nodded stiffly. 

“Do I want to know what you two are talking about?” Shannon looked between them curiously. 

“You know what?” Ava flashed her a quick smile, despite everything. “I think now’s probably not the best time.” 

“Everyone hold onto something.” Mary instructed. Her voice was quiet, but authoritative.

With barely any more warning than that, she smashed into one of the cars, forcing it off the road. Unfortunately, though it was barely audible over the sound of grinding metal, one of the operatives in the other car shot out their tires. On the perpetually rainy British roads, Mary couldn’t keep the car under control and they spun out into a ditch. 

“Is everyone okay?” Mary asked. Blood dripped down the side of her face where she’d smashed her head into the window on impact.

“Are you?” Shannon retorted with a tinge of worry in her voice. 

“Look alive.” Lilith instructed, pulling the gun from her holster. Several paces away, the men from both cars were converging. All ten of them. They had maybe seconds before they would become overwhelmed. 

Quickly, everyone climbed from the vehicle, ducking behind it to use as cover. Unfortunately, this too was a predictable move. Walking over the crest of the hill was another group of men, except they brandished automatic weapons that shone slightly in the dim moonlight. 

“We can’t fight our way out of this.” Beatrice whispered, stating the obvious. Between both groups of men and the firepower advantage, there was no way they would escape this without injury - or likely worse. 

“Good evening.” Adriel greeted them with a surprisingly unnerving smile. They were completely surrounded.

“You set us up.” Lilith bit, though at least part of her anger was internal. She was the one who set up this meeting and agreed to it. Now, it might get them all killed. 

“I did.” He seemed unaffected by her rudeness. “Alright.” Adriel addressed the rather large group of men that had gathered around them. “Round them up. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” 

Mary moved to pull out a gun and fight back, but Shannon put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her. “No. We can’t. Way too risky.” Mary didn’t reply, but instead sighed. 

“Weapons. In the bag.” One of the operatives, flanked by two well-armed men, walked to Lilith and held out a black duffel bag. With a glare, she emptied her pockets, surprisingly calm for being held at gunpoint. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad. There’s no reason why this can’t be a completely peaceful transfer of information.” Adriel gloated, while the men continued to collect weapons. 

“Seems a little bit optimistic.” Lilith muttered as one of the agents forced her into a standing position and bound her hands behind her back. 

“Do you want this to be violent?” Adriel asked with a raised eyebrow. “I can certainly arrange it.” 

“Lilith, enough.” Shannon instructed as she was also restrained. She turned to Adriel. “We’ll comply.” 

“At least someone around here has some sense.” Adriel looked over the group with a disconcerting smile on his face. He walked over to Ava, seeming to take a special interest in her. 

“Can I help you?” Ava asked with barely hidden venom. 

“Miss Silva.” He said in a whisper. Their faces were so close together that Ava could see the faint stubble across his cheeks. “I’ve heard quite a lot about you.” 

“Is that so?” Ava wondered with feigned politeness. Beatrice looked on silently, though her fear was etched into her fine features. 

“I’ve heard you can be quite the chaotic woman. Is that so?” 

“I don’t know… Why don’t you tell me?” Ava’s hands were bound, but that didn’t stop her from headbutting Adriel in the nose. He fell to one knee as crimson poured down his face. Before anyone else could speak, Adriel gestured to the man standing beside him. With a swift movement, he slammed the butt of his rifle into Ava’s face, rendering her quickly unconscious. She slumped into her assailant’s arms. It was everything Beatrice could do to keep from screaming. 

“Now.” Adriel stood, looking somehow even more terrifying with the blood across his face. “Shall we get going?” 

“Lilith was right.” Camila whispered. There were tears in her eyes. “You are an asshole.” 

“Wow!” Adriel looked at Lilith with a grin. “And you said that  _ before  _ I fucked you over. How rude!” 

“Ava.” Beatrice murmured. “Ava! Are you alright?” 

“Hmm?” Ava hummed quietly. Her head was bloodied on one side and felt impossibly heavy. Slowly, she opened her eyes, taking in the dusty warehouse where the six of them were now held captive. “Oh. This sucks.” 

“That’s what you have to say?” Mary snapped at her. “You gave us a real scare, only to wake up and say ‘this sucks’?!”

“Sorry?” Ava felt like her mind wasn’t running on all four cylinders yet, but she was happy to see her friends somewhat safe. At least, for the time being. 

“For once, I agree with Ava.” Lilith spoke with surprising calm, though her anger bubbled just beneath the surface. “I’m sorry. I got us into this mess.” 

“I mean… If we’re being technical…” Ava began, before Beatrice interrupted. 

“If we could stop playing the blame game for three seconds, you’ll find that we are all in the same predicament. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. We need to find a safe way out of here. The sooner, the better.” Beatrice was nothing short of determined. 

“Agreed.” Shannon gave her a short nod.

“Umm… Sorry to interrupt your pep talk, which I agree with wholeheartedly, by the way… But where is everyone?” Ava looked around the warehouse, which was conspicuously empty. 

“There’s an office, back there.” Camila gestured with a tilt of her head. “Adriel and a few of his men are in there. The rest are scattered about, watching the exits and such. Though, I heard one of the cars start and leave, so I don’t think the full force is here anymore.” 

“That…” Ava stared at her friend for a moment with wide eyes. “Was a very astute and detailed answer. Thank you.” 

“So what happens now?” Mary wondered. “We stay tied to these chairs until we die, or?” 

“They want the data.” Shannon told her gravely. “But I’m pretty good at hiding things.” 

“Good evening ladies.” Adriel suddenly entered their conversation, as he strode across the room. “Ava, nice to see you have rejoined the land of the living.” 

“Go fuck yourself.” She spit. Lilith had never respected her more than she did in that moment. 

“Words can hurt.” He quipped. “But you know what hurts a lot worse? Torture. Who’s first?” 

“Nothing can hurt more than your ridiculous monologue.” Mary muttered. “ _ Christ,  _ you act like you’re a  _ goddamn  _ Bond villain.” 

“So it seems…” Adriel seemed to be pondering something, and as a result, barely heard Mary’s words. “Of course, Ava is the obvious choice. She’s had a rough time lately…”

“I wonder why that is…” Ava mumbled, trying to numb the fear that coated her insides. Beatrice stayed silent, though she was equally (if not moreso) fearful for Ava. 

“But you…” He pointed to Camila. “The cute one. I think you might be my weakest link.” His guards had appeared in the door and moved to drag Camila’s chair into the office. 

“No!” Lilith shouted out, startling everyone. “Take me instead.”

“I will not.” Adriel smirked. “You’ve only just proved my point.” He added, before leaving the room - conspicuously absent of one of its previous occupants. 

“Lilith, why are you so -” Beatrice began, before being interrupted by Ava. 

“You love her.” 

“What?” Shannon was beyond surprised. 

Ava turned to Beatrice. “So it  _ was  _ a triple date!” 

“Ava, shut up!” Lilith snapped. She looked wild in her anger, between the messy hair and the sheen of sweat on her face. “Camila is in there being subjected to  _ God _ knows what, and you really want to be fucking funny right now?” 

“Sorry, I -” Ava’s apology was interrupted by Mary. 

“What do you expect her to do, exactly? Use her magic powers to escape and then save the day?” Mary’s words were harsh, maybe overly so. Lilith only glared at her. 

“Enough.” Shannon intervened before an argument could get out of hand. “Suffice to say it’s been a bit of a stressful evening. But we won’t have relationships to argue about if we don’t survive this. Whoever goes in next, remember that we won’t be killed until they get what they’re looking for. It’s just like the information retention drills in training. Except probably worse.” 

“Good speech.” Mary retorted under her breath, but she relaxed slightly, as much as was reasonable in such a situation. 

“I’m not going to  _ lie. _ ” Shannon breathed.

“I appreciate that.” Ava told her genuinely. “I don’t suppose anyone has any bright ideas, though?” 

“Don’t tell them anything.” Lilith bit.

Camila’s first scream interrupted the argument, making everyone flinch in their seats. Lilith struggled and pulled against her restraints, but it was no use. Eventually she gave up, though her stray hairs clung to the sweat on her forehead. She looked beyond intimidating - dangerous even. Ava watched her the entire time. Partially due to curiosity, but also to distract herself from the rising panic in her chest. 

It was at least an hour before they brought Camila back out, though time took on an otherworldly quality in that warehouse. Still Ava was delighted to see her friend alive, even if Camila returned in less than stellar shape. Blood coated one side of her face and the fingers on her left hand were swollen and already bruising. Most likely, they were broken. 

“Maybe I was wrong.” Adriel announced as he stepped out of his office. “Camila here wasn’t the weakest link among you. But I know who is.” Ava froze. She knew it was going to be her before he even said it. Part of her was terrified, but a larger part was angry. 

“Miss Silva, would you care to join me?” Adriel ‘asked’ with a hollow smile. 

“Gee, sounds like a great time. How can I say no?” Ava muttered as the guards dragged her chair into the office. She would give him a frustrating time, even if it was the last thing she did. Right as she rounded the corner, Ava flashed her friends a cheeky grin, trying to seem braver than she was. 

The agents positioned Ava in the middle of the room and then retreated back to the door. Adriel certainly had a flair for the dramatic. 

“Alright.” He pulled up a chair of his own and sat across from Ava. “I’m nothing if not gentle hearted. So, I’ll give you a chance to answer my questions without violence.” 

“I mean, we’ve only just met, so excuse me if I’m wrong… But I’m not so sure that you’re gentle.” 

“That’s quite rude.” He paused for a moment. “Where is the cache of information about your off the books operation?” 

“Up your ass.” Ava retorted with a grim smile. In truth, she didn’t actually know, but Adriel clearly wasn’t aware of that. The Russians might know less than Shannon suspected - though it was still a muddied and complex situation. 

“Funny.” He threw a backhanded slap across Ava’s face that seemed to echo against the concrete walls. It was a weak hit, but it was only a warmup. 

“You hit like a girl.” Ava told him with a laugh. 

“I figured we’d work up to the big stuff.” Adriel retorted with equal glib. 

“That’s what she said.” 

Adriel hesitated. It seemed to Ava as though he was trying to keep his cool. That, of course, only gave her encouragement to keep being frustrating. 

“I know that you have information I want.” He said, after a loaded silence. “Maybe we can make a deal for it.” 

“Other than my freedom, I’m not sure there’s anything you could give me.” Ava met his sharp gaze. “Oh, unless you’re hiding an Italian deli somewhere in this building.”

“ _ God,  _ shut up!” He punched her squarely in the face. His form was quite sloppy but it hurt all the same. Ava’s face smarted, but she didn’t give him the satisfaction of calling out. 

“I thought you  _ wanted  _ me to talk? I’m kind of getting mixed messages here.” 

“Dmitri.” Adriel called to one of his guards. “Get my supplies.” 

“Hey, Dmitri!” Ava added. “Get my supplies too!” 

“Why is he yelling?” Shannon wondered back on the main floor of the warehouse. 

“Ava can be… Difficult.” Mary explained, earning a knowing nod from Beatrice. “While this makes her frustrating to deal with, it also makes her surprisingly difficult to interrogate. I wouldn’t be surprised if Adriel broke before she did.” 

“I don’t know…” Beatrice whispered. Ava was strong, undoubtedly, but the last few weeks had been a constant test of strength with no chance of recovery. 

Meanwhile, Lilith scooted her chair as close to Camila’s as possible. “Hey. Are you okay?” 

“I mean…” Camila tried to force in a deep breath. The adrenaline response from being tortured was slow to recover from. Her heart was beating in double time. “I’ve definitely been better. But I’ve also had worse.”    
“I’m sorry.” Lilith, regardless of what anyone said, felt guilty about their predicament. 

“Don’t apologise.” Camila urged. “We’re all in this together now. Also, just so everyone knows, I didn’t crack in there.” 

“I knew you wouldn’t.” Mary told her. 

“As did I.” Shannon added with a knowing wink. 

“There’s only two guards inside, the rest are guarding the doors.” Camila relayed her observations quickly and near silently, lest they be overhead. “Our weapons are still in a bag, in the office. If someone can create an opening, I think we can get out of this.” 

“Shall we start again, Ava?” Adriel asked, after composing himself for a few minutes. He laid a hand on her stomach, which she desperately tried to squirm away from, but had no luck. “You were in Berlin, quite recently. You picked up an important piece of intel. What did it say?” Adriel inquired with creepy politeness, while his hand froze over the barely healed stab wound on Ava’s abdomen. 

“I can’t read German. Couldn’t tell you.” Ava’s answer was actually honest, but Adriel didn’t believe her. A second later, he pressed his hand sharply into her wound. “ _ God! Fuck! _ ” She couldn’t keep herself from shouting out. 

“I see we’re making some progress.” Adriel put a hand on Ava’s shoulder to steady her against the chair. “Now, I’m going to ask the same question again. Are you going to tell me the truth?” 

“Sure.” 

“Okay. What did the intel from the German contact contain?” 

“I don’t know.” Ava repeated, once again not lying. And, once again, Adriel didn’t believe her and levelled a kick into her stomach. “Ahhhh!!” Ava made an indistinguishable noise. 

“You see the pattern we’re falling into here, right? If you just answered my questions, it’d be a lot easier.” 

“Bite me.” Ava muttered. Without a word, Adriel opened the box that Dmitri had brought over. Unsurprisingly, it was filled with blades of various sizes. Some of them were tiny, no bigger than a single joint of one’s finger. Others were massive, with blades that could probably fell a tree. 

“You might find I can be very persuasive.” 

“Knives are so passé. I wish you’d just beat me like a real man.” 

“Is that so?” Adriel set his collection of blades on the arm of Ava’s chair. Painfully close, yet completely unreachable. “Tell me, Miss Silva. Where is the information on this off the books operation you’ve been running.” 

“Look me in my eyes.” Ava stared at Adriel until he made irrefutable eye contact with her. “I have no fucking clue.” 

“Ugh!” His calm façade cracked and he kicked Ava’s shoulder so hard that she, and the chair, smashed to the ground. The knives went with it, clattering to the ground rather spectacularly. Ava’s head spun from where she’d hit the ground and she could feel fresh cuts from where she had collided with the blades, but that didn’t distract her. Thankfully so, since a moment later Adriel righted her chair. He was surprised to see tears in Ava’s eyes. 

“Not feeling as tough now, are we?” Adriel asked gloatingly. Ava could feel blood dripping from new injuries, staining yet another outfit. It’s weird, sometimes, what the mind focuses on when under stress. “Hello?” He took Ava’s head with his hand and forced eye contact between them. Ava continued to cry, her tears leaving tracks in the blood on her face. 

“Sir?” Dmitri stepped forward. “If I may?” 

“Yes?” Adriel gave him a nod.

“I think you’ve broken her, sir.” He looked pitifully at Ava, then back at Adriel. “Let her calm down, then bring her back in an hour or so. Guarantee she’ll talk. I’ve seen it a million times.” 

“You better be right.” He turned his attention back to Ava. “Seems like your lucky day.” She didn’t reply, or even lift her head as the operatives dragged her back out into the main room. 

Ava could feel her friends’ eyes on her as she stayed completely still. Once the footsteps had retreated and the office door was closed, Beatrice spoke first.

“Ava? Hey, are you alright?” 

“Ava?” Mary asked nearly simultaneously. Ava didn’t reply, but looked up at them. She finally grinned, revealing the tiny blade that she had managed to hide in her mouth.


	23. Noble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A swift escape, but then what?

Beatrice slowly slid closer to Ava. With as much grace as she could muster, Ava spit the blade into Beatrice’s bound hands. Carefully, she cut the ropes that had restrained her. Moving quickly, she freed Ava, then everyone else. Not a word was uttered during the process, a silent and surreptitious series of minutes. Once everyone was untied, Beatrice passed the knife back to Ava. It was obvious what she needed to do.

As predicted, the guards returned eventually. Ava kept her head down and tried to look as defeated as possible. She even forced a few tears to fall down her bloody face. Beatrice looked on, filled with angry concern. To her, it seemed Ava’s acting was slightly too real. Just as the operatives reached out to drag Ava’s chair into the office, she slit both their throats in impossibly quick movements. 

They fell to the ground, bloody and heavy. Mary pulled the automatic weapons from their corpses, passing one to Camila and keeping one for herself. Meanwhile, Shannon liberated their pistols, giving one to Beatrice and one to Lilith. Still wordless, the group moved towards the office. Luck, once again, wasn’t on their side. Adriel must have heard the agents’ bodies fall to the ground, as the room was empty. 

“Fuck.” Ava whispered. 

“Weapons are there.” Camila pointed towards the black duffel in the corner. 

“If we fan out, we might still have a chance.” Mary muttered.

“Umm…” Beatrice had been reading over a document that had been left on the desk. “We might have bigger issues.” 

“Of course.” Shannon mumbled. “What is it?” 

“Vincent planned this.” Beatrice held up the packet. “These are instructions for our capture. He must have suspected something was up.” 

“What was the end goal, here?” Camila asked, with sick curiosity. It wasn’t just a hit, obviously.

“He wants the data from our operation.” Beatrice turned back to the inky lines of Russian. “We must be close to something bigger. Bigger than we realise.” 

The sound of a car starting echoed faintly through the building. “What do you want to bet that was Adriel?” Lilith wondered, though the question was largely rhetorical. 

“What does this mean?” Beatrice whispered to herself, suddenly completely unaware of the other women in the room, who were conversing without her knowledge. 

“That was definitely him.” Ava replied to Lilith. “I would’ve done the same, if I were in his position.”

“What now?” Camila asked, mentally weighing their options. “I doubt it’s safe to go back into the city, but…” She trailed off, unsure of their other options. 

“If Adriel and Vincent are working together, all MI6 safehouses could be compromised.” Mary intuited, though it was a short and logical leap. 

“That doesn’t leave many options…” Shannon breathed. It was clear they were all exhausted, it wouldn’t be an easy task to spend the night running.

Meanwhile, Beatrice stood over the papers on the desk, frantically reading and translating, completely lost in a world of her own. While everyone continued to talk, Ava watched her curiously, in awe of Beatrice’s genius. 

“Alright, so if this…” Beatrice murmured, placing one file beside another. “Then that means... But if… Wait…” 

Ava silently crossed the room and joined Beatrice at the desk. “What is it?” Concern flooded her voice.

“Adriel wasn’t just after the intel about Vincent.” Beatrice announced, catching everyone’s attention, not just Ava’s. “There was a second motive to keeping us here.” 

“Which was?” Lilith looked at her expectantly. “Don’t keep us in suspense, please.” 

“There is a second team, due to arrive in the morning.” Beatrice held up a sheet up paper, though no one else could read it. “A specialty team. The kind that  _ breaks  _ people.” 

“I thought those were a myth…” Camila mumbled nervously. Of course, they’d all heard stories about the infamous teams of Soviet specialists that broke agents down and created turncoats. Most operatives dismissed them as rumour, though the few who’d had personal encounters could vouch for their verity. 

“Can you imagine?” Shannon’s tone was gravelly. “All six of us flipped? The damage on our agencies would be… Catastrophic.” 

“Yeah, that’s the point.” Mary muttered nervously, with a hand on Shannon’s shoulder. 

“This doesn’t really change my question though, does it?” Camila added. “What are we going to do now?” 

“I don’t suppose that convenient stash of files gives any insight into the Soviet master plan?” Lilith asked, looking between Beatrice and the documents. 

“I mean, I’d need more time to read through everything, my Russian isn’t as practiced as it ought to be…” Beatrice felt needlessly ashamed, as though she had failed. 

“Well, we can’t stay here. Obviously. What if more operatives show up?” Shannon stated the obvious.

“If they do…” Ava paused for dramatic effect and Mary rolled her eyes in anticipation. “Then So-be-it.” She looked around and no one laughed. “Like Soviet? Get it?” 

“Yes, Ava.” Beatrice put a gentle hand on her lower back. “Now might not be the best time.” Internally, however, Beatrice was ecstatic to hear Ava joke around. Maybe Ava had a bit of fight left in her, though Beatrice was hesitant to put that to the test. 

“Step one, we leave.” Mary decided, though it was never much of a question. “We can’t go to any of the safehouses, obviously, but we need somewhere safe to spend the night. Let’s grab a few hotel rooms outside of the city. From there, Beatrice can go over the files and everyone can rest up. I have a feeling we might have a long few days ahead of us.” 

“Way to take charge.” Shannon told her with a grim smile. 

Beatrice gathered up the papers and hastily stuffed them in her jacket. Her shoulders already felt heavy with stress but Ava’s presence by her side was both warm and comforting.

“I just feel like I should be apologising again.” Ava told the group as they headed through the freezing warehouse and out into the evening.

“Ava.” Lilith turned around as walked. “With all due respect, shut the fuck up.” 

“Ouch.” Ava laughed, with a hand pressed to her heart. 

“So, here’s a question.” Mary announced as they exited the building. There was a single van outside and they hadn’t encountered any guards on their journey out. It was truly a rare stroke of good luck. “Did anyone see the keys?” 

“Oh, we don’t need those.” Camila muttered with a grin. “Lilith, can you come back inside with me to grab a few supplies?”

“Sure?” Lilith raised an eyebrow but didn’t object, following Camila back into the warehouse. 

“Guess what.” Camila whispered once they were out of earshot of the group. 

“What?” Lilith was nothing if not suddenly nervous. More nervous, in fact, than she had been during their capture. 

“I heard what you said.” Camila stated, surprisingly calm as she dug through a drawer of supplies. 

“Oh.” Lilith didn’t know what else to say. Her heart was beating so loudly that she could barely hear anything else. 

“You’re blushing.” Camila observed quietly, with a sly glance toward Lilith. 

“Yes.” She nodded awkwardly. It was exceedingly rare for Lilith to feel so uncomfortable, yet Camila seemed to bring out the worst of it. By far.

“Say, hypothetically of course, that I felt the same.” Camila turned back to her work. She wore the slightest smile on her face and Lilith got the impression that she was enjoying this. 

“Do you?” Lilith couldn’t keep herself for asking. Camila’s casual calm was somehow both frustrating and enticing. “In a hypothetical way, I mean…” She added after a slight pause - only making the exchange even more awkward. 

Slowly, Camila withdrew a torch from the desk, followed by a flathead screwdriver. Then, she turned her full attention to Lilith. With quick movements, she took Lilith’s arm and pulled the unsuspecting woman closer, while simultaneously pressing up onto her tiptoes. The kiss between them was like nothing either woman had ever experienced. That is to say, it was  _ so  _ much more. 

“I hope that answers your question.” Camila mumbled a few moments later, slightly breathless and red in the face. 

Lilith couldn’t seem to get a word out, so Camila led her back outside, tools in hand. “We’re in luck.” Camila announced, with a grin. 

“You can start the car with those?” Shannon asked, with a look of bewilderment on her face. 

“Pretty sure, yeah.” She walked over to the vehicle. “Ava, can you come here please?” 

“Mhmm…” Ava mumbled, leaving Beatrice’s warm arms to help her friend. 

“Can you pick the door lock for me?” Camila asked, gesturing to the small metal locking mechanism. “I’d just break it, but it’s quite cold and more than a little bit suspicious.”

“Yes, no worries.” Ava removed her hairpin and a second bobby pin from her pocket and knelt beside the door. “So…” She muttered under her breath, her words only audible to Camila. “Did you two talk?” 

“Ava.” Camila’s anger was entirely hollow. “Mind your own business.” 

“More than talked. Got it.” Ava replied with a smirk. “Alright.” The lock clicked and Ava was able to open the door. “There you go.” 

“Thank you.” Camila told her with a quick wink. It was an odd and short conversation between two old friends. Yet, it couldn’t have been more obvious that they were both dancing around shared trauma. Namely, the torture they just endured. 

Their training, everyone’s training, had taught them to repress emotions until it was safe. Given the absolute fever pitch that had been the last day - or several weeks for Ava and Beatrice; a tidal wave of emotion hung ominously over the group. It was a toll that could not be skipped, not be avoided in any meaningful sense. No one can function off of training, instinct, and reflexes forever. 

With Ava’s help, Camila nimbly crawled beneath the steering column of the car. Deftly, she unscrewed the panel keeping the electrics in place and stripped the edges on two of the wires. It was hard to tell which colour was which in the dim light of the torch, but she figured it out after a few minutes of deliberation. Then, she climbed into the driver's seat and inserted the screwdriver into the keyhole. 

“Moment of truth.” Camila whispered, entirely to herself. She gave the accelerator a gentle press while simultaneously turning the screwdriver. After an agonising moment of silence, the car roared to life. “Mary, can you drive? It seems I’ve only got one functional hand right now.” Camila held up her left hand, which looked painfully swollen.

“Colour me impressed.” Mary joked as she climbed into the idling vehicle a moment later. 

“You’re never impressed when I do cool things…” Ava mumbled in a feigned pout from the back seat. 

“Remind me.” Mary turned around with a smile. “What have you done that was cool?” 

“Are you kidding me?!” Ava sharply retorted in jest. “I hid a blade in my mouth so that we could escape. That is super cool!” 

“Ehh…” Mary waved her hand. “Moderately cool, at best.” 

“Everyone’s a critic.” Ava huffed, before resting her head on Beatrice’s shoulder. Exhaustion was quickly catching up with her. 

The ride was near silent after that, save for Shannon’s quiet whispers of instruction to Mary. It was clear that Ava wasn’t the only person feeling exhausted after the horror they’d just been through. 

“There’s a town just ahead.” Shannon muttered after an hour of quiet. “It has a train station, so we can leave in the morning undetected. I think we should dump the car into the river.” 

“Agreed.” Beatrice nodded. She, like Shannon, had been working through every angle and every possible action during the drive. Being caught out by Adriel had rattled her, for more reasons than one. Without comment, Mary pulled off the empty road and onto the river bank. Carefully, she left the car in neutral, before everyone worked to push it into the depths of the dark river. 

“That was anticlimactic.” Ava whispered as the car slowly bubbled and sank beneath the murky waters. She turned towards the road, but Beatrice caught her arm. 

“You should probably wash the blood off your face. Camila and Mary, too.” Beatrice sighed, hating that this was a concern of theirs. “Might draw a bit of attention, otherwise.” 

“Fair point.” Ava conceded as she reluctantly walked to the river’s edge. 

“Oh. Fuck.” Mary breathed as she washed the sticky, dried blood from the side of her head. “That’s bracing.” 

“Definitely gets the heart pumping.” Ava agreed, shivering from the contact with the icy water. 

“Ehh, it’s not that bad.” Camila muttered from beside Ava. Both Mary and Ava stared at her like she was crazy. “I’m just kidding, relax.” 

“I don’t think any of us will be able to relax for weeks after this.” Lilith replied, a few paces away. Even in the dim moonlight, Ava thought she looked vaguely ethereal. 

“No, I imagine you’ll both be busy.” Beatrice couldn’t help but make the obvious joke, earning a glare from Lilith, and a laugh from Ava and Mary. 

“Enough jokes. Let’s get going.” Shannon nodded towards the road. 

“So…” Ava began after a few minutes of silent walking along the cold and empty road. “Does anyone have any fun anecdotes to share?” 

“Ava, I swear to  _ God. _ ” Lilith bit, though the threat behind her words was empty at best. Wordlessly, Camila took Lilith’s hand in her unbroken one. Lilith looked simultaneously happy and terrified at the gesture - but Camila was nothing short of calm. 

After a quiet half hour of walking in the exhausting cold, they reached town. It was quaint, but rather cute, with a small town square adorned with Christmas lights. The sight made Ava smile, and Ava’s smile made Beatrice happier than she cared to admit. At one end of the square, there was a surprisingly rustic inn - or their home for the evening. 

“Best to let Lilith and I go in and take care of the arrangements.” Shannon instructed as they drew closer to the building. “The injuries on you four…” She looked pointedly at each of them. “Might draw a bit of attention.”    
“She’s talking about you, raccoon face.” Ava whispered to Beatrice, who’s broken nose had bruised underneath both her eyes. 

“That’s not very nice.” Beatrice replied, though she couldn’t help but laugh. She’d seen her reflection and Ava’s insult was surprisingly accurate. 

“Alright, stay put.” Shannon reiterated as she and Lilith disappeared into the building. 

“Does she always boss you around like that, Mary?” Ava asked with a crooked grin.

“You’re being awfully cavalier right now, considering everything that’s happened.” Mary snapped. She wasn’t angry at Ava, not really, but it had been a long and frustrating evening. 

Regardless of Mary’s intentions, Ava’s face fell at her words, and she didn’t reply. Beatrice gave Mary a hard look, then wrapped an arm around Ava’s shoulders. Most likely, Mary didn’t mean any hostility, but after everything, everyone’s nerves were far beyond frayed. Thankfully, Shannon and Lilith returned a few minutes later.

“For you two.” Lilith handed a set of keys to Beatrice. “I’m assuming that you’re okay with sharing a room?” 

“Yes, that’s fine.” Beatrice answered for them both, since Ava seemed intent on staring at the ground. And, in truth, Beatrice didn’t even know if she could sleep alone anymore. “Thank you.” 

“Mhm.” Lilith nodded, as she led Camila inside. 

Once Ava and Beatrice were sequestered away in their own room upstairs, Beatrice finally spoke. “Mary didn’t mean anything by it, you know. It’s just been a long day and -” 

“No.” Ava interrupted. She was sitting at the window, looking out at the brightly lit square below. The light that extended into the dim room got caught in her messy hair and made her look wild. “Mary was right.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice didn’t know what else to say, but it was clear that Ava’s mask was slipping, if not irrevocably so.

“What?” Her anger flared from nowhere and she whirled around to face Beatrice. The new wounds on her face and the tears in her eyes only accentuated the desperate pain in Ava’s heart. “She’s right. And you know what else? I’m a fucking idiot. And, despite what anyone says, this is  _ my fault. _ ”

“Stop. Please.” Beatrice struggled to keep calm, but she couldn’t watch Ava tear herself apart for this any longer. 

“My best friend got tortured today because of my mistake. How  _ fucked  _ is that?!” 

“You also got tortured…” Beatrice reminded her, as if that was penance enough. 

“Yes, but that’s inconsequential. Deserved, even.” 

“How can you say that?” Beatrice asked in a ghost of a whisper. “ _ How can you say that? _ ” She repeated, increasingly hysterical. 

“I’m sorry, I…” Ava trailed off as she softened, hating to see the effect her words had on the woman she loved. “I’m sorry.” She reiterated in a tiny murmur.

“Stop apologising.” Beatrice took a few quick steps across the room and wrapped Ava in her arms, a long and overdue embrace. 

“Sorry…” Ava mumbled from within Beatrice’s arms, eliciting no more than a scoff from Beatrice. 

“I’m tired.” Beatrice laid her head on Ava’s shoulder. “We can’t keep living like this.”    
“I know.” Ava was grateful for her closeness and her warmth. “I’m sorry.” 

“What did I just say?” 

“Oh. Yeah.” Ava broke away from her and held Beatrice’s face in her gentle hands. “I’m  _ not  _ sorry, then. But I promise you, Beatrice. I  _ promise.  _ I will do absolutely everything in my power to ensure that you make it out of this.” 

“You’re missing the point.” Beatrice replied as she watched Ava’s carefully for a reaction.    
“What do you mean?” Ava was surprisingly oblivious. 

“I don’t care if I make it out of this, if you’re not there by my side.” Beatrice admitted; her cheeks were flushed with emotion. “I love you. Truly. And I can no longer imagine my life without you in it. So before you get any big, grand, and  _ stupid  _ ideas about nobly protecting me - and everyone… Just, remember that, okay?” 

“I love you too.” Ava whispered as a fresh tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t, or couldn’t, reply to the rest of Beatrice’s words. Not yet, at least.


	24. Covered In Cowardice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions, decisions, decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update marks half a million (500k) words of fanfic!!!! also sorry for slow updates recently, i was quite sick and the u.s. is kind of falling apart rn.

Beatrice had intended to stay up most of the night, translating the documents she’d stolen from Adriel’s desk. Truly. But by the time Ava returned from the shower, she was fast asleep, with a stack of papers tucked beneath her head. Upon witnessing the scene, Ava repressed a laugh as she gently withdrew the files and set them on the bedside table. Just as carefully, she tucked the blanket around Beatrice before also climbing into bed. While Ava would have liked to savour the relatively safe and warm contact between them, she fell asleep almost instantly. To say it had been a long day would still be a dramatic understatement. 

A knock at the door woke them both up the next morning. Beatrice blearily rose, though Ava followed closely behind her. Just in case. 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Shannon apologised as she led everyone into the room. Camila greeted both Beatrice and Ava with a hug. 

“It’s alright.” Ava told her as she returned to the bed and wrapped the blanket around her. It was too cold, as usual. 

“Beatrice, did you find anything useful in the documents?” Shannon asked, without further preamble. Mary stood by her side, with a serious expression on her face. 

“I… Um…” Beatrice looked down. “I fell asleep. I’m sorry.” She added in a tiny whisper. 

“That’s -”

“Don’t get angry with her!” Ava interrupted Shannon, with surprising ferocity. “Yesterday was a super long day and it’s not like we’ve had much rest for the last several weeks and -”

“If you hadn’t interrupted me…” Shannon interjected, pausing Ava’s mad rambling, “I was going to say ‘that’s alright.’”

“Oh.” Ava mumbled. “Sorry. Carry on.” 

“Very suave.” Lilith muttered from the corner, though she smirked ever so slightly. 

“It’s been…” Shannon’s hesitation was telling. “A rough time, lately.” 

“Understatement of the year.” Mary coughed, earning a playful glare from Shannon. 

“I don’t think what the files say, matters.” Ava suddenly chimed in. Beatrice admired the hopeful determination that burned in her eyes. “We need to get back to MI6 headquarters. Surely the Soviets couldn’t have flipped everyone, right? If we get back, we can expose Vincent. There must still be dozens of agents and high ranking officials that would be on our side.” 

“I’m inclined to agree.” Lilith added, with the tiniest nod towards Ava. “Though getting back undetected will be easier said than done.”

“The train is more anonymous than if we were to drive the car we stole yesterday…” Beatrice seemed far away, as her mind churned through dozens of scenarios. “Though I can’t say Ava and I have particularly good luck when it comes to travelling by rail.” 

“This still seems like only a shadow of a plan.” Mary replied, though she didn’t seem discouraged by that, either. “Once the information is out, we’ll need to go into hiding. I don’t think there’s any way around that.” 

“Agreed.” Camila nodded solemnly. “Vincent’s participation jeopardises the safety of all MI6 safehouses. Actually, of all MI6 operatives, too. His position gives him access to pretty much everything - which in itself is a terrifying prospect.” 

“A terrifying reality.” Lilith corrected with a grimace and her grip on Camila’s hand tightened as she spoke. Silently, Ava noted the point of contact between them with a smile. 

“Do we have a choice though?” Shannon asked, though it was largely rhetorical. “It’s not unrealistic to think that our inaction could cost lives.” 

“It’s too bad we didn’t know we were going to get kidnapped. I would have brought a change of clothes.” Ava joked with a crooked grin. 

Everyone stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to make of the quip. “First of all, you’re an adult. Technically, it was an abduction.” Lilith bit, though her anger was entirely without substance. A moment later, she returned Ava’s smile, surprising everyone except Camila. “But I have to agree, you’re looking a bit rough around the edges.” 

“Hey!” Ava protested, smoothing a hand over her bedraggled hair. 

“I still think you look nice.” Beatrice whispered, making Ava blush a quite violent shade of red. 

“Alright. Enough of this.” Shannon took a few steps towards the door. “Clean up as best you can. We’ll leave within the hour. That should have us back to London this evening.”

“Yes ma’am.” Mary chuckled as she followed Shannon from the room. Lilith and Camila exited a moment later. 

“So…” Ava turned to Beatrice once they were alone. “Sorry I didn’t wake you up last night, it’s just… I figured you needed the sleep and you looked so peaceful and -” Beatrice interrupted her with a kiss.

“Ava. It’s okay.” She smiled gently. “It’s okay.” Beatrice repeated, while tucking a messy strand of hair behind Ava’s ear. 

“I hope you’re right.” Ava kissed her again before continuing. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m slightly relieved.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, this entire infiltration of MI6 probably isn’t entirely my fault.” 

“Of course it’s not!” Beatrice could barely believe Ava’s words. 

“Well, it’s nice.” Ava looked down. “To not have  _ everything _ be my fault. Don’t worry, I’m dedicated to fighting this and seeing it through to the end… But I’m still… I don’t know.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice took one of Ava’s hands in her own. “Remember what I said yesterday, please.” 

“I’ll try.” Ava rose and began to get ready, without another word. Beatrice wasn’t sure if she should be frustrated or worried. Probably both. 

It wasn’t long before they were back on a train and hurtling towards London. Ava, unsurprisingly, sat closest to the window. She watched silently as the scenery passed by - a flurry of greens and browns. Any chance of a vibrant sunset was ruined by the thick cloud cover and overall dreariness of the day. As much as Beatrice wanted to focus on the beautiful woman who sat across from her, she forced herself to focus on translating the documents. Meanwhile, Mary, Shannon, Lilith, and Camila discussed strategy concerns. 

“What’s to say Vincent or Adriel don’t have men watching the building right now?” Camila asked, in reference to the MI6 headquarters. 

“Nothing.” Mary muttered. “Honestly, it’d be stupid to assume they weren’t.” 

“Comforting.” Lilith retorted. 

“I can’t imagine a scenario in which there is a violent insurrection at the  _ MI6 headquarters. _ ” Shannon hissed. 

“I mean, I couldn’t imagine a scenario where Ava was honeypotted while we were all on an off the books assignment, leading us to be kidnapped, only to find out that there is a much bigger plot in the works… But here we are.” Lilith added. Even at the mention of her name, Ava didn’t turn her head. 

“Enough. Please.” Camila whispered. “Not all of this is Ava’s fault. Besides, it doesn’t change the situation we’re in.”

“You’re right.” Lilith conceded, causing Shannon to gape. What a rarity. 

“Sorry to interrupt.” Beatrice looked up from her files. “There is a lot here that suggests there might be more flipped agents than we originally realised.” 

“Great.” Mary put her head in her hands. 

“Nothing specific, of course, but… Well, it could be a complicating factor upon our return.”

“Thank you, Beatrice” Shannon nodded politely. “It seems we weren’t Vincent’s only targets. I can’t help but wonder how deep this goes. Lilith, how long ago was your first contact with Adriel?” 

“Two years ago.” 

“That’s dedication to a mission.” Shannon almost sounded as though she were in awe of it, if she weren’t so angry. “To live like a pauper for years in pursuit of an ambitious mission. A dangerous mission, at that.” 

“Yeah, but imagine the pay off.” Mary countered. “If he and Vincent succeed, they’ll return to Moscow as kings.” 

“They aren’t going to succeed.” Ava chimed in, rather darkly. Beatrice watched her injured face carefully, but silently. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” Mary told Ava, somewhat missing the uncharacteristic hardness in her voice. 

While the conversation continued, as did the movement of the train, Beatrice set a gentle hand on Ava’s leg. Neither woman acknowledged the new contact between them, since Ava kept staring out the window and Beatrice returned to the files. But, somewhere in the chaos, they seemed to relax slightly. If only it was a feeling that could last. 

There was an unmistakable lurch as the train slowed down, a few hours later. “Try to keep your heads down.” Shannon instructed as they all rose. Internally, despite the danger, Beatrice couldn’t have been happier to get off the train. “The sight of injured women with no men accompanying them is sure to draw attention - espionage or otherwise.” 

No one replied as they disembarked onto the freezing platform. Upon climbing up to street level, the sound of sirens quickly filled the air. 

“So… Who thinks that’s a coincidence?” Lilith asked as they walked quickly, but not incriminatingly so, towards headquarters. 

“It’s possible.” Beatrice replied. “Though given everything we know, unlikely.” She paused for a moment, as if in thought. “Perhaps if I had translated the documents faster, we could have prevented this.” 

“I thought we weren’t playing the blame game anymore.” Ava mentioned with a stony expression.

“Agreed.” Camila gave a quick nod. “Besides, we don’t even know  _ what  _ we’d be preventing. Perhaps there was a car crash outside the building or something.” 

“Let us hope…” Shannon whispered, finding herself wishing for traffic accidents in a way she never thought possible. 

Upon rounding the corner, their hopes were dashed. There were dozens of police officers outside the MI6 building and it was completely cordoned off. 

“Fuck.” Mary muttered, both sad and terrified at the sight of it.

“We’re going in, right?” Ava wondered aloud. 

“I think our duty compels us, even if it weren’t the right thing to do.” Beatrice replied. 

Shannon had a quick exchange with the officer manning the door. After he checked their badges, he permitted them to enter the building. 

“It’s out of our jurisdiction now.” He explained. “But I’d try to avoid touching too much. Don’t want to disturb the evidence.” 

“Thank you.” Shannon answered, before opening the door and leading them inside the building. 

Immediately, it was evident something was wrong. Ava had only been here a handful of times, but it was bizarre to see the entryway so empty. The security guards were gone and only the emergency lighting was on. Something about it made her pulse quicken and thoughts grow increasingly nervous. A moment later, Beatrice took her hand, a small comfort.

“ _ Christ. _ ” Mary mumbled as they crossed through the security checkpoint. There was a dead guard in the corner, his blood had left a trail down the wall. Shells littered the floor and made metallic clinking noises when kicked. In the empty stillness of the hall, these echoed disconcertingly. 

Past the security checkpoint, the scene was no less harrowing. Agents and medical staff were working in tandem to clear injured personnel from the analysis sectors. At the sight of it, Ava felt her head swim and her knees buckle. This was too much. Thankfully, Beatrice’s strong hands held her upright, as they continued towards the senior offices. 

“Mr. Davies.” Shannon addressed him respectfully, though he seemed to barely hear her in his completely freaked out state. Papers were scattered across the desk and there were bullet holes in his door and walls. “Mr. Vice President, sir.” She repeated. 

“Shannon!” He looked up, as if suddenly cognisant. “What are you doing here?” 

“What happened?” Lilith asked, unwilling to wait for an answer for another second. Whatever it was, it had obviously been earthshaking. 

“There was an insurrection.” He whispered, clearly still reeling. Camila crossed behind the desk and put a hand on his shoulder. Mr. Davies was no longer the young man he used to be and the day had more than rattled him. “So many personnel flipped, agents and desk jockeys alike. I’ve never seen something so coordinated before - truly a testament to the diabolical Soviet plans under Andropov.” 

“Did any other senior members survive?” Mary inquired, wondering about the chain of command. MI6 was in a dire state right now, a  _ dangerous  _ state when the threats were considered. 

“Only Vincent, but…” He trailed off. 

“Vincent’s behind this.” Beatrice finished the sentence for him, earning a nod from the aging man. 

“The violence was unnecessary, perhaps.” His voice shook. “They would have crippled our organisation simply by leaving with their intel. But this…” Mr. Davies looked around aimlessly. “Might have ruined us.” 

Before anyone could speak, he suddenly rose, with a messy bundle of papers stuffed into his briefcase. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He moved towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Shannon asked, barely disguising the frustrated anger in her voice. “You need to help rebuild. And  _ lead. _ ”

“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “I’ve just tendered my resignation, effective immediately.” 

“Coward.” Ava spit. 

“I  _ beg  _ your pardon.” Mr. Davies countered. He was flustered, sure, but not so flustered that he would be disrespected by a subordinate. A female, American subordinate at that. 

“You heard me, coward.” Ava took a deep breath. “Everyone here needs leadership. The safety of this country’s intelligence literally depends on it and you’re what?  _ Running away?  _ Agents get shot at, or worse, on nearly every mission and you’re ready to abandon ship at the first sign of trouble?” 

“First of all -” 

“I think it’s best you leave.” Mary advised him, before not so gently shoving him into the hallway. 

“Sorry…” Ava apologised, to no one in particular. 

“No. You’re right.” Lilith commended her. 

“You know what this means, right?” Beatrice inquired, looking at Shannon. Of course, she was thinking of Ava’s outburst too, and a dozen other things, but a discussion about that would have to come later. 

“No?” Mary looked between Shannon and Beatrice with a confused expression. 

“I’m the top ranking officer, now.” Shannon mumbled, slightly in awe of the situation.

“Maybe Ava will call you a coward, too.” Lilith couldn’t help but whisper. 

“I won’t.” Ava secretly appreciated Lilith’s joke, though. Maybe they could be friends after all. “But I’ll help you. I think we all will. With the rebuilding, I mean. Between this and tracking down Vincent and Adriel, we’ve got quite a lot of work in our future.” 

“Fuck.” Shannon leaned against the wall and sighed heavily. Mary was quickly at her side. 

“I don’t want to step on your toes…” Beatrice began, slightly nervous if nothing else. 

“Go ahead, Beatrice. I’ve always valued your input.” Shannon replied, righting herself and trying to calm the growing panic in her chest. 

“I think we should follow Vincent and Adriel to Moscow.”

“We  _ what? _ ” Camila asked, unable to believe what she was hearing. 

“I know, I know it sounds crazy.” Beatrice retorted. “But it’s unlikely that they would have stayed in the city after this. We’re a good team, made up of great operatives. If anyone can track them down, plus the defectors, it’s us.”

“Shannon and I can call Langley, explain the situation.” Mary was starting to see Beatrice’s reasoning. “I can convince them to send reinforcements to not only secure headquarters, but also a team to back us up in Russia.” 

  
“You’re serious?” Lilith seemed genuinely surprised. “This is the  _ Soviet Union  _ we’re talking about. And you want to just, what? Waltz in on some revenge mission?” 

“What do you suggest then?” Beatrice snapped. “We let them get away with this, alongside everything else? This has gone on too long.”

“I agree, but sometimes it’s better to just cut your losses and move on.” Lilith returned Beatrice’s venom tenfold and no one else dared to get between them. 

“They aren’t just going to stop being a threat, Lilith!” Beatrice argued. “If anything, this will only embolden them. Not  _ just  _ the Soviets, our other enemies too. This isn’t going to just go away.”

“Perhaps you’re right…” Lilith acquiesced in consideration. “If we feigned acceptance, they’d be less cautious upon their return. It could be easier to pick them off.” 

“So, we’re doing this then?” Camila wondered tentatively. 

“Well, it was my idea.” Beatrice felt suddenly self conscious. “So, I’m in.” 

“Me too.” Mary was the next to answer. 

“And me. Anywhere Mary goes, I go.” Shannon still looked slightly pale, likely on account of her sudden ascendance up the MI6 chain of command.

“Well, I’m not sure I love the idea…” Lilith’s preamble garnered a sarcastic eye roll from Beatrice. “But I agree with the logic of it, if nothing else.” 

“Ava?” Beatrice asked, after a few heavy moments of silence. 

“Yes.” Ava’s voice was hoarse and there were tears in her eyes. “I’m ready for all this to be over.” What she meant by that exactly, Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder.


	25. Poetic, Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Beatrice talk. Then, they begin their journey to Moscow, alongside Camila and Lilith. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sure if i like this chapter or hate it?

“I’m happy to get a night of sleep, at least.” Ava told Beatrice as they entered the flat. “Plus, a shower and a change of clothes. It’s the little things in life. Really.” 

“Ava.” Beatrice’s voice was steely. 

“Hm?” Ava turned around. Beatrice was hanging up her coat, but the expression on her face was incredibly serious. 

“Why are you being so cavalier about this?” Worry flooded Beatrice’s words in a way that she only felt comfortable with behind closed doors. “You’re scaring me.” 

“I am?” Ava’s face fell, she seemed genuinely ashamed. 

“You could’ve _died_ last night.” Beatrice’s voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “And half a dozen nights before that. I know you’re not okay. You don’t need to pretend to be.” 

“I…” Ava’s gaze found the floor. “I’m sorry.”

“Ava.” Beatrice repeated, closing the distance between them in an instant. She put a hand on each of Ava’s shoulders. “No apologies, remember.”

“Sorry… I…” Ava refused to look up. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Honestly.” A tear fell from her face and hit the floor. 

“Ever since we met…” Beatrice shook her head and started again. “Sometimes it’s like you’ve put on a mask. It’s not the real you and I think we both know that. I…” She exhaled sharply and tried to gather her messy thoughts. “I don’t want you to have to wear a mask around me. It’s alright to be yourself. Please.” Despite Beatrice’s best efforts, she thought of her childhood as she spoke. Maybe she was so good at recognising Ava’s mask only because she’d spent so long wearing one herself. 

“I love you.” Ava mumbled, barely audible over the sound of the radiator. “And that’s me speaking genuinely.” She met Beatrice’s eyes. They were both crying now. 

“I love you, too.” Beatrice breathed, before hugging Ava tightly. It was several weepy minutes before they broke apart. Gratitude was evident in their movement, or lack thereof, after yet another dangerous turn of events. How many more times could they cheat death?

It wasn’t long before both women were showered and packed. The warmth of one another and the bed was welcome after a long day, if not slightly bittersweet. 

“I’m terrified.” Ava admitted quietly. Her words were swallowed by the darkness in the room. “And angry. And scared. And frustrated. And… Happy.” 

“Happy?” Beatrice echoed. It was the only emotion that surprised her. 

“Yes.” Ava turned beneath the blankets, so she could put an arm around Beatrice. “Despite everything, which has been absolute insanity… I’m happy to have met you. Actually, happy doesn’t feel like a strong enough word.” 

“I feel the same.” Beatrice allowed herself a smile, but it was gone a moment later. “There’s something else I’m worried about, though.”

“Yes?”

“Repeatedly, I’ve told… Asked you not to be so risky, not to be so… Dangerous, for lack of a better word. You’ve never agreed.” Beatrice struggled with her words, more so than normal. 

“I know.” Ava didn’t try to argue, she knew Beatrice was right. “I’m sorry.” 

“No. Please.” Beatrice felt a fresh wave of tears burn her eyes. “I don’t want apologies, I just want you to be safe through this.” 

“I know that…” Ava inhaled deeply. “You’re a beautiful person, Beatrice.” Gently, Ava pressed a hand to Beatrice’s chest, feeling her calm heartbeat a moment later. “In here, I mean. Not just physically. I can’t help but think that, if it came down to it, I’d rather you get to keep on living. Not that I’m going to go _looking_ for death, mind you, but if -”

“Ava, stop!” Beatrice surprised both herself and Ava with the severity of her reaction. “Just, stop.” She added more calmly.

There was silence for several seconds after that, several rather loaded seconds. It seemed the atmosphere in the room had grown immeasurably more tense. Eventually, Beatrice spoke again. 

“You don’t get to place a valuation on both my life and yours. It doesn’t work like that.” Under Ava’s hand, her heart pounded, no longer as calm as it was before. “And besides, you’ve made quite a fatal flaw in your calculations.”

“Which are?” Ava’s voice was painfully thick.

“If you died, I would die too.” Beatrice shuddered at the thought. “Even if I didn’t join you in the ground, your death would be the end of mine. I’d live a half life from then on, cursed to continue living but never find enjoyment in anything. Never find the light in anything. Living without you would be like living without sunlight. Only upon meeting you did I realise how empty my life was before. Perhaps more aptly, how empty my heart was. Or, my soul.” 

“You’re quite poetic, sometimes.” Ava murmured as she pulled herself more tightly against Beatrice. Both of them savoured the sacred way that their bodies fit together beneath the warmth of the blankets. “I’m not sure if I could have said it as eloquently…” Ava’s hesitation was incredibly telling. “I’m sorry. You’re right, as usual. Meeting you turned my black and white world to colour.” 

“Then you see my point?” Beatrice ran a hand through Ava’s messy hair, before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “We either both get through this, or neither of us too.” 

“Quite the ultimatum.” Ava whispered. Her smile was audible, despite its invisibility in the dark. “I’ll be sure to be at my best, for whatever happens… But, well… I had a thought about what happens after all of this is over.”

“Which is?” Curiosity ate at Beatrice’s heart. The thought of Ava going back to the United States was less unbearable than her untimely end - although not by a huge margin.

“Promise not to think I’m crazy?” 

“Of course.” 

“Well… MI6 has a sudden need for operatives.” Ava mumbled, more nervous that she really ought to be. “I think between Mary and Shannon’s influence, I could get approved for an inter-agency transfer. A _permanent_ transfer, if you’ll have me.” 

“You’d move to England just to be with me?” Beatrice was nothing short of shocked. 

“Yes?” Ava couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not like there’s much keeping me in the states anyhow. Besides, I don’t think it would be too difficult to convince Mary and Camila to stay as well. Then we can keep going on triple dates until we’re all ancient.” 

“Is that what you want?” Beatrice’s tone was surprisingly neutral, as she was trying not to sway Ava’s opinion either way. 

“I mean…” She took a breath. “Yes. I know it’s forward and far from traditional… But… Nothing about our situation is traditional, is it? I mean, we’re _spies._ Our lives are as far from normal as they could get, I think.” 

“You’ve been forward from the start, though, haven’t you.” Beatrice smiled. “I seem to recall you _insisting_ to follow me here.” 

“You _let_ me!” Ava countered. She was more than happy to fall in familiar banter with Beatrice, especially after the resolution of their prior conversation. Despite the massive roadblock between them and a happy future, Ava was excited for it all the same. “You were like, _oh Ava, you are so beautiful. Please come stay at my flat so I can gaze upon your lovely face all day._ ” 

“That isn’t what I sound like!” Beatrice giggled, though as always, Ava’s impersonation of her voice was nearly flawless. 

Their jokes and laughter continued on for another few minutes, before both women found slumber. It had been an exhausting few weeks and given what was coming next, they would need all the rest they could get. As always, when the alarm went off early the next morning, it still didn’t seem like nearly enough.

Daylight had only barely begun to warm the day when Ava and Beatrice stepped out of the taxi at the airport. They’d taken an overly complicated route to the airport, in an attempt to lose any tails that might be following them. With a glance over her shoulder, Beatrice led Ava into the already busy building. 

Camila and Lilith were just inside, having arrived a few minutes earlier. “Good morning.” Ava greeted them kindly, though the exhaustion in her voice was evident. She wasn’t much of a morning person. 

“Good morning.” Lilith was the first to answer, surprising everyone. In truth, Lilith’s respect for Ava had only grown since they’d gotten to know each other better. 

“We all look terrible.” Camila whispered, trying not to laugh. In fairness, she wasn’t wrong. Between Beatrice’s broken nose and the remnants of Adriel’s torture on her own face and Ava’s; they were a sorry looking lot. 

“I mean, I look fine.” Lilith quipped, with a gentle hand on Camila’s shoulder. Though Lilith’s face was free of injury, exhaustion and stress seemed permanently etched into her expression. 

“I don’t know if I’d say that.” Beatrice joked. “But we should get going. “We’ve got yet another long day ahead of us.” 

“I wish Shannon and Mary were coming…” Ava sighed. Despite the dangerous mission they were about to embark on, Ava would have loved a few quiet minutes with Mary to discuss her transfer. A bit preemptive, perhaps, but Ava could be impulsive. 

“I mean, they are.” Camila walked by her side. “Just, not right away. Shannon has a lot to deal with, basically out of nowhere.” 

“I know.” Ava rubbed her eyes, trying to force herself to be more alert. She couldn’t afford to be so careless. Not now, not here. 

“They’ll catch up soon.” Beatrice told her.

Which was, at least according to their plans, true. Shannon and Mary had stayed behind to help oversee MI6’s emergency operations, as well as help coordinate the American teams that would be arriving soon. One team would stay to protect headquarters and run counter-espionage missions within London. The other would be led by Shannon and Mary, into the heart of the Soviet Union. In two days time, they would all be reunited. At least, in theory. 

In the busy terminal, they met two freelance operatives; locals who worked strictly low-risk and local jobs. It was with them that the four women traded tickets. Another layer of security couldn’t hurt, right? The longer it took the Russians to discern their true plans, the better. Having a myriad of falsities within their itinerary only helped obfuscate the objective. 

An hour later, their plane took off, bound for Minsk. Belarus wasn’t the destination on the tickets they’d entered the airport with, but that's beside the point. In a few hours, they’d be within the Soviet bloc, only to venture even further into the den of the enemy. Beatrice, of course, was currently more nervous about the confinement within the aircraft than the threat of KGB agents.

“So this farm of yours…” Ava began, in a tiny whisper. It was obvious she was trying to distract Beatrice, as she’d done once before on a plane ride. “What kind of animals would you have?” 

“Chickens to start, obviously.” Beatrice smiled, though it never reached her eyes. Part of her was grateful that Camila and Lilith were a few seats away and likely weren’t aware of their bizarre conversation. 

“Oh?” Ava raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realise it was so obvious.” 

“I mean…” Beatrice ran a hand over her hair, which was neatly pulled back into a bun. “Like I’ve said before, I don’t actually know that much about farming. In theory, it seems nice. A calm, safe routine after living like this… It becomes more attractive every day.” 

“Just like you…” Ava breathed, causing Beatrice to only stare at her for several minutes. 

“I still can’t believe you want to stay in England.” Beatrice replied, once she found her voice again. “For me.” 

“Well, for me too.” Ava smiled softly, genuinely. It was an expression that Beatrice loved, that she would never tire of seeing. “Perhaps that sounds a bit selfish and I don’t intend it too… But despite everything, I’m still happier with you than I’ve ever been before.”

“I envy your ability to say what you mean.” Beatrice mumbled, though the ferocious blush across her cheeks gave away her true feelings. 

“If it’s any consolation, I think you’re getting better at it.” Ava grinned with her incredible charisma, which only made Beatrice’s heart pound faster. “Plus…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You say the l-word first.” 

“I did…” Beatrice paused. There was something on her mind, something that she’d been thinking about since last night, when Ava revealed her plans. Last night, Beatrice had been too tired to ask about it, but now, she desperately craved distraction. “There’s something I need to ask you.” 

“Shoot.”

“It’s…” Before meeting Ava, Beatrice rarely found herself at a loss for words. Yet, the beautiful woman seated beside her sometimes made speaking much more difficult. “It’s a beautiful thing - that you’re willing to transfer. But… Well, I’m not sure that continuing in this line of work is best for you. For either of us, if I’m being honest.” 

“I appreciate your candor, Beatrice.” Ava closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair for a moment, pensive. 

After several seconds, Ava finally spoke again. “I agree with you, of course. And I’ve had the same thought. Given what happened yesterday, I think my help… Our help will be needed. Not for the first time, our inaction could cost lives. I’d rather help rebuild, if I can, than sit idly by.” 

“You’re a noble woman, Ava.” 

“No.” Ava’s disagreement came in an instant. “I’m not.” 

Beatrice didn’t reply after that. In her mind, there was no doubt that Ava was a good person. It was as certain as the rising of the sun or the changing of the tide. Beyond her inherent goodness, there was a _light_ about Ava, an enjoyment in the small victories, ones that others might overlook. This was one of the facets of Ava that Beatrice found both alluring and fascinating, even from their very first meeting. 

“We’ve just begun our descent into Minsk.” The pilot’s voice crackled slightly through the speakers. “The local time is 10.30am and the temperature is currently -10 degrees. Please refrain from moving about the cabin until we’ve reached our destination. Thank you.” Silently, Beatrice felt Ava stiffen beside her. It was already a dangerous mission, but every inch further into Soviet territory increased said danger. 

As the four of them exited the aircraft, Lilith was the first to break the heavy tension that hung between them. “Hey, at least you get a change of clothes this time, right Ava?” The crooked smile that adorned her face left Beatrice pleasantly surprised. 

“At least.” Ava laughed. “And while I _am_ a fashion icon, you’ll be disappointed to hear that I will be hiding beneath a coat the entire time we’re here.” 

“Sorry, just to clarify…” Beatrice couldn’t help jumping into the familial banter. Beyond her relationship with Ava, the past several weeks had brought her more friends than the entire rest of her life. The beginnings of a family, maybe. “But Lilith, since when do you like Ava?”

“Ouch.” Camila whispered with a grin.

“Well…” It was clear that Lilith was just as nervous as the rest of them, but trying to keep the mood light all the same. Camila’s toture at the hands of Adriel had not been easier for her. “I’ve read her file, of course. It’s impressive. When we first met, I was suspicious of her - but I had every right to be. You should have been more cautious.” 

“Yeah, Beatrice!” Ava pretended to chastise her. “Where was your caution?!” 

“And while _some_ of our misfortune has been Ava’s fault, it’s unfair to say all of it was.” Lilith continued as they walked through the loud, confusing airport. “She stepped up and helped us escape from Adriel… Plus… When Ava yelled at Mr. Davies and called him a coward; that was really great.”   
“He is a coward.” It was clear Ava didn’t feel bad about it, as she shouldn’t.

“It’s big of you to admit that.” Camila mumbled, looking up at Lilith with a soft smile. 

“Well, maybe I’m not as cold as everyone thinks…” After a moment of hesitation, Lilith pressed a gentle hand into Camila’s back. It was a tiny gesture, a barely noticeable point of warm contact between them. Ava noticed, of course, as did Beatrice. That’s the problem with spies; they notice everything. 

It was unsurprisingly cold and grey outside, and the air smelt faintly of industrial smoke. Ava shivered beneath her coat as they met a local contact at the far edge of the parking lot. Surreptitiously, Beatrice handed him a thick envelope packed with rubles, in exchange for a set of car keys. 

“Blagodaryu vas.” She whispered, before the man hurried away from the group, as if scared. 

“Fun guy.” Ava muttered, as she opened the boot of the car. She was being sarcastic, of course, since the man hadn’t spoken once he’d identified himself. “But wow, what a ride.” And what a ride it was. A cream-coloured Trabant 601 sat before them, completely unassuming and lacking any sort of sex appeal. 

“Who wants to drive?” Beatrice asked, figuring she’d at least offer.

“Oh! I will!” Ava exclaimed, closing the boot after everyone’s bag had been put away. 

“No!” Camila objected immediately. “I will.” She took the keys from Beatrice. “After what happened in Cuba, I don’t think you should be allowed behind the wheel.”

“That’s hardly fair.” Ava grumbled before sliding into the backseat, where Beatrice promptly joined her. 

“Do I want to know?” Lilith wondered as she took the passenger seat. 

“No.” Ava sank low in her seat and crossed her arms. Beatrice thought she looked childish in her defiance. “It’s embarrassing.” 

“I’ll admit I’m quite curious as well.” Beatrice added, before flashing Ava a quick smile. 

“Ava and I were on assignment, in Havana.” Camila began as she eased the car onto the main road. It was lined with factories, all of which seemed to be operating at full tilt. “Our marks caught sight of us and we were forced to make a rapid retreat across the city. Ava was driving, of course, but in her… Let’s say, inexperience, she ran onto the sidewalk.”

“Why does everyone always default to making fun of me?” Ava asked, though the question was rhetorical, it didn’t really bother her. 

“She went on to hit a fire hydrant, which promptly began spraying water all over the street.” Camila finished her story with a laugh. “It actually was a good distraction that helped us escape, but that’s beside the point.” 

“It was a _tactical_ crash, okay?” Ava joked. “It was intentional.” 

“Good move.” Lilith couldn’t help but grin. “I’ll have to remember that one.” 

Conversation melted away after that. It had only been a momentary distraction from the nervous fear they all carried, but none of the women had the energy to keep it up forever. Listlessly, Ava stared out the window, watching the industrialised city fade to snowy farmland. Beatrice kept a hand on her the entire time, as if to anchor Ava to this reality. It was largely unsuccessful.

Just before the border crossing, Camila pulled over and Beatrice took the front seat. Her Russian was the best of the group and probably the only one that could pass for native. Thus, they’d agreed that she should be the one to talk to the border guard. A few miles down the road, there was an almost surprisingly well-guarded station, denoting the division between Belarus and Russia. Beatrice slowed down and a pair of guards approached her window. Whatever danger they had already been in was about to multiply tenfold.


	26. The Hunters or the Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A journey into the U.S.S.R. begins and gets more dangerous with each passing mile.

“Pochemu ty peresekayesh' granitsu?” One of the guards asked.  _ Why are you crossing the border? _ Ava translated in her head, with one hand stowed beneath her coat, on her gun. Just in case. A quick glance confirmed that Camila and Lilith were seated in similar positions. Though, in fairness, they all seemed to be at ease. Only a trained eye would pick up on any tension. 

“My v gostyakh u druzey v Smolenske.” Beatrice replied with a smile, while handing the guard their forged papers. Her Russian was undeniably excellent.

“Oy. Vyglyadit khorosho.” One of the guards said to the other. Ava felt herself breathe a sigh of relief. They didn’t seem suspicious. They handed the papers back and Beatrice reached for the shifter when the guard spoke once more.

“Podozhdite! Chto sluchilos' s vami, damy?” He asked, wanting to know about their injuries. Which was fair, since it wasn’t often a group of rather beat up women came through this checkpoint. Especially unaccompanied by husbands. 

“Akh. Smeshnaya istoriya.” Beatrice laughed though Ava knew it was completely false. “Nedavno probovali igrat' v khokkey. Vse poshlo ne tak.” She added.

“Khokkey?!” One of the guards echoed, in comic disbelief.

“Da.” Beatrice nodded, matching his smile. 

“Glupyye devushki.” The other guard muttered, rather rudely, before waving them through. “Preuspevat.” 

“Blagodarya.” Beatrice thanked them politely before pulling back onto the main road. 

Ava and Camila made it all of two minutes before they began laughing. “Oh my  _ God! _ ” Ava had a tear rolling down her cheek. “I can’t believe you told them we got hurt in a hockey accident.” 

“I can’t understand why they believed it!” Camila replied between her giggles. “I mean, no offense Ava, but you’re tiny.” 

“I know.” Ava crossed her arms in feigned pout. “None of us are exactly hockey material.” 

“Enough, both of you.” Lilith snapped from nowhere. “Sorry.” She apologised almost immediately. “I just… That was surprisingly nerve wracking.” 

“Agreed.” Beatrice forced herself to take a deep breath and loosen her grip on the steering wheel. It was both surprising and not that she and Lilith were losing their nerve first. While Ava and Camila were tortured by Adriel, their partners sat idly by. This was a torture in itself. 

“Sorry.” Ava whispered, pressing herself more tightly against the door. She felt guilty for her behaviour, but at the same time, it had been quite funny.

“Sorry.” Camila echoed, feeling as Ava did. 

“Neither of you have anything to apologise for.” Lilith muttered. Her gaze was firmly fixed at the snowy scenery that passed by. “I just…  _ God,  _ are you not nervous?!” 

“I am.” Ava answered first. “It’s called an unhealthy coping mechanism. Look it up.” At that, Beatrice couldn’t keep from laughing. This entire situation was deathly dangerous, but also surreal in it’s obscurity. 

“Oh, no.” Lilith mumbled, looking over at Beatrice. “Not you too.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” Beatrice wiped a tear from her eye. “You have to admit, risks aside, this entire situation is absurd.”

“Not as absurd as the four of us taking up ice hockey.” Camila added in a tiny voice. Four of the fingers on her left hand were broken and plastered together, though her thumb was thankfully unharmed. 

“What should I have said?” Beatrice wondered with a smile. “Genuinely, give me a reasonable excuse for four unaccompanied women to be so injured.”

“Car crash, mugging, circus performer mishap, we’re actually professional boxers…” Ava began listing scenarios, each of which more outrageous than the last. “We work for NASA and our shuttle crashed during a training exercise. Maybe we’re all part of a secret order of nuns that fights demons.” 

“Nuns.” Lilith finally allowed herself a laugh, spurred on by Ava’s ridiculous suggestions. “Can you imagine?” 

“Alright, alright.” Beatrice’s smile remained but Ava caught the turmoil behind her eyes. “Ava, you’ve made your point.”

“But now we’ve all had a laugh and the tension is diffused.” Camila was nothing if not hopeful. “Right?” 

“Right.” Ava nodded in agreement, though it seemed like she was trying to convince herself too.

An hour of driving passed in silence after that. The roads were nothing short of deserted, or at least, they were. Up ahead, there was a roadblock. Three heavy, black cars were parked across the street, an ominous darkness against the stark, snowy surroundings. 

“Operatives?” Ava asked, simultaneously nervous and frustrated. 

“Mafiya.” Lilith corrected. 

“When Krushchev took over in ‘53, his dedication to de-Stalinization was admirable and many thought it would be the end of this conflict.” Beatrice explained as they drew closer to the blockage. “But it had some… Unintended consequences. Consequences that Brezhnev hasn’t been able to touch, either.” 

“Well reasoned.” Camila replied with a nod. She, like Beatrice, was well-versed in the intricacies of Soviet history and current affairs. 

“Rise of organised crime. Got it.” Ava was relieved that their presence in the country hadn’t been discovered by the KGB, though the Mafiya threat remained.

“Our weapons are notoriously English, all silenced and small calibre handguns.” Lilith held her own pistol in her hand, looking at it with a pensive expression. “Any competent investigation would reveal that.” 

“You’re correct, of course, but we need a solution.” Beatrice muttered, trying to keep her face calm as one of the Mafiya men exited his vehicle. “We’re essentially out of time.”

“I have one.” Lilith stowed her handgun in the glovebox. “Don’t get out of the car.” 

“Lilith!” Camila hissed from the backseat, obviously frustrated, as Beatrice stopped the car. 

“Trust me.” Was all Lilith said before opening the door and walking towards the creepily smiling man. 

“Chto ty khochesh?” Asked Lilith upon reaching him, not bothering to hide the anger in her voice. 

“Oh, you speak Russian. Da. Very good.” His smile remained. “Me and my friends here…” The Mafiya man gestured to the two others who were only just now leaving their vehicles. “We are waiting for someone.”

“Oh?” Lilith’s expression was curious. “Well, since that someone isn’t us, can you please let us through? Ty spravish'sya?” She added a short jibe, unable to resist the temptation. 

“How do I know it’s not you?” Finally, the man’s smile cracked as his friends drew closer. Lilith’s skin crawled, she knew she was in danger. Or at least, about it be.

“Ne ona, konechno.” One of the other men added. He was clearly surprised that his boss would even consider Lilith a threat. She was, before anything else, only a  _ woman.  _

“Quiet, Sergey.” The Mafiya man closest to Lilith shushed him. “MI6 hires lots of women now.” He paused in thought for a moment, while Lilith shifted her weight upon spying the heavy gun on his hip.

“Does it?” Lilith tried to appear innocent, but the sharp look in her eyes wasn’t convincing. 

“Wait a -” His sentence got lost as Lilith struck him quickly in the throat before pulling the gun from his belt. With equally quick movements, she pulled the gasping man in front of her, using him as a shield. 

“Net!” The remaining men shouted in unison, guns raised, though they didn’t shoot. It was too great a risk to their boss. “Stop!” One of them added, sounding surprisingly desperate for a made man. 

“Or what?” Lilith bit, shooting both men fatally without further hesitation. A second later, she killed the man who she’d been using as a shield, before wiping her fingerprints from the gun and putting it back in his hand.

With as calm a walk as she could manage, Lilith returned to the car. “We’re good to go now.” She mumbled. Though she wasn’t as sensitive as Ava, Lilith was far from happy about having to kill. Even more so since having grown close to Camila. 

“That was unnecessary.” Ava whispered from the back seat.

“Just because I’m not -” 

“Because I could have helped you.” Ava interrupted what was sure to be a cutting insult. “That was dangerous and you don’t need to do everything alone. We’re meant to be a team.” 

“Oh.” Lilith breathed, her cheeks suddenly burning.

“Ava, you’d do well to take your own advice.” Beatrice added quietly as she maneuvered their small car around the Mafiya vehicles and rapidly cooling bodies.

Camila’s voice seemed strained when she finally spoke a few moments later. “I’d expect that type of recklessness from Ava…” 

“Hey!” 

“But, Lilith, if you ever do something like that again, you’ll have a lot more than the Mafiya to worry about.”

“Alright,  _ Jesus. _ ” Lilith rubbed her eyes. “I just figured that after everything, it might be my turn to take care of the violence.”

“Who  _ are  _ you?” Beatrice asked, genuinely, from the driver’s seat. 

“Ah, young love.” Ava sighed at the same time. 

“Ava, shut up.” Camila muttered, though her words were accompanied by a smile.

Lilith pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled in frustration. “Enough. Okay. I’m sorry, genuinely, but what’s done is done. I shot them with their own guns, which buys us at least a little bit of time. But it’s still not out of the realm of possibility that their deaths will raise an alarm at the base in Smolensk.”

“Agreed. It’s all too common to see KGB hiring work out to local Mafiya men.” Beatrice nodded.

“With how many agents you two have killed, or maimed, they must be scraping the bottom of the barrel.” Camila reasoned, though Ava flinched at her words. “Even with these new acquisitions of flipped MI6 operatives, it is likely a chaotic time within their organisation.”

“That’s the plan.” Beatrice spoke with icy determination, which Ava wasn’t sure if she should be attracted to or scared of. Probably both.

Night fell as they drove into Smolensk, thankfully without further incident. Lilith read Beatrice instructions from the map as she maneuvered through the city. After a few minutes, they were parked a few buildings down from the KGB base. Not the headquarters, which was in Moscow, but a small, regional center. Beatrice’s plan was two-fold and obviously brilliant. Hopefully, the four of them would be successful tonight, so they could move onto the second phase. 

With efficient movements, they exited the vehicle and withdrew one of the bags from the trunk. Nobody spoke as Beatrice led the group down an alley and then up a fire escape. It didn’t escape Ava’s notice how similar this was to their time in Berlin, though she hoped this operation would be significantly more successful. 

From the rooftop, they had a great view of the KGB building. As expected, there were a few snipers perched on top. 

“Stay low.” Camila instructed, though no one really needed reminding. The four of them ducked behind the edge of the roof, safely out of sight. 

“Nice night.” Ava whispered, shivering in the snow.

“It is, actually.” Beatrice smiled softly while Lilith fitted together a rifle with parts from the bag. “It’s not usually this clear in winter.” She looked up at the sky, which was full of stars, bright in the darkness. “Look, there’s Orion.” 

“Hmm…” Ava followed Beatrice’s pointing finger upwards, towards a small cluster. “But are we the hunters or the hunted?” 

Before Beatrice could reply, Lilith’s sharp whisper interrupted them both. “If you two can stop stargazing for a moment, I’d appreciate the silence.” She tipped the now-complete rifle over the edge of the roof. 

“Sorry…” Ava whispered, though she flashed Beatrice a quick grin. Lilith didn’t reply, instead focusing intently on what was sure to be a series of impressive shots. 

Beside Lilith, Camila was crouched low and squinting at the readout of her compact field anemometer. “Slight breeze, north west to south east. Four and a half knots, holding steady.” She looked back out over the roof. “Go for the one on the far left, first. He is out of sight from the other two. Should buy you a couple seconds.”

“Thank you, Cam.” Lilith breathed, before lining up her shot and pulling the trigger. 

The force of the silenced rifle knocked Lilith back slightly, but she regained control quickly and prepared for another shot. Thankfully, the first sniper was killed without being seen or noticed by his associates, though likely not for long. Time was truly of the essence here. 

“They’re moving.” Ava observed, as the two remaining snipers both rose in near unison, and began walking towards the opposite corners of the roof.

“They’ll pass one another before the other body is discovered, but it’s a tight window.” Beatrice muttered as she watched the scene unfold. Lilith didn’t reply, but instead focused her vision through the site. As usual, Beatrice was right, but it would be a difficult shot. Every muscle in Lilith’s body was tense as she waited for the exact right moment to pull the trigger. Almost… Almost… Now! 

“Holy shit…” Camila whispered, her mouth ajar. 

“That was  _ insane. _ ” Ava replied, equally stunned.

“Amazing.” Beatrice was clearly in a similar state of surprise. Lilith had managed to shoot through the closer sniper’s head, lining up the shot just perfectly, so that the bullet exited his skull and entered the second gunman’s neck. One shot, two kills.

“Yes, I am. Thank you.” Lilith joked shakily. She was nervous still, though at least this was one more obstacle out of their way. Without further comment, she disassembled the sniper rifle while Beatrice prepared for the next part of the plan. She pulled a length of thick, metallic rope from the bag, completely with a heavy-looking grappling hook. Slowly, she swung it a few times to get a feel for the weight, before throwing it across to the adjacent roof. 

“Nice throw.” Ava told her as the hook caught on the roof’s gable. 

“Thanks.” Beatrice replied while handing Ava one of four metal handles. “Ladies first.” 

“I mean, we’re all ladies.” But Ava grinned anyhow. If Beatrice didn’t know better, she’d almost guess that Ava was excited. 

“Take the bag.” Lilith said, before strapping it to Ava’s back. “Since you’re the smallest.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Ava nodded. Once Beatrice had secured her end of the rope, Ava used the heavy, metal handle to slide across. It was everything she could do to not shout, she  _ loved  _ the zipline exercises in training, it’s a shame they weren’t used more often in the field. Her friends made the journey just as quickly, gathering on the roof of the building. Beatrice swiftly cut the rope, letting it fall below. 

“Lilith, can you check the bodies for keys?” Beatrice asked as she bent low and sorted through their supplies. “Camila, will you help me prepare these canisters?” 

“Yes.” Lilith dutifully strode across the snowy roof to the closest dead sniper, trying to keep the guilty feeling from rising in her chest. 

“I’m going to start picking the locks.” Ava whispered, pulling her hairpin free. 

They worked in silence then, for a few minutes at least. Pretty soon, the ventilation shafts were all unlocked and open, as well as the rooftop entry door. Lilith had retrieved a set of interior keys from one of the dead snipers, which would save them time once they were inside. Finally, Beatrice had a small stack of gas canisters, which were her  _ coup de grâce _ of this portion of the plan. 

“Two can play at that game.” Beatrice muttered to herself as she threw one of the canisters into the ventilation shaft. Across the roof, her friends did the same. Without a wasted second between them, everyone convened at the rooftop door. 

“We have a window of about fifteen minutes.” Camila explained quickly. “Lilith and I will take the third floor, Ava and Beatrice take the fourth.”

“And though I hate to say it, shoot to kill.” The expression on Lilith’s face was grim. “Especially for any British defectors. The punishment for treason is death, remember.” She pulled a set of gas masks from the bag. “And,  _ for the love of God,  _ don’t take off your mask.”

“Good advice.” Ava muttered, meanwhile, Beatrice stared the face of her watch as the seconds moved faster than she was comfortable with. 

“We have about thirty seconds until full saturation. Aim for operatives and stay alert. Once we get inside we will be severely outnumbered, gas or otherwise.” Beatrice forced herself to take a deep breath. “And put our lives above the mission. Right now, we are all the allies have. Understood?” She added the last sentence with a pointed glance at Ava, who shuddered slightly. 

“Understood.” Camila nodded as she pulled on her mask. “Let’s go.” 

There wasn’t time to be scared as Lilith opened the door and the four of them hurried down the stairwell, guns out. At the fourth floor, Lilith and Camila exited down a cloudy hallway and Ava bid them goodbye with a wave. She and Beatrice then continued down to the third floor. Cautiously, Ava pulled open the door. The corridor was thick with gas, and even through her mask, Ava’s eyes watered a bit. 

“All the doors are unmarked.” Ava whispered to Beatrice who crept along by her side. 

“Unsurprising, it makes sense for security purposes.” Beatrice replied. “I’ll take the right side of the hall, you take the left. Shout out if you find anything… Or anyone.” She squeezed Ava’s shoulder before moving down the corridor. There was no time for affection right now, that would have to come later. 

Ava did as Beatrice said. Methodically, she moved through the hazy building, checking rooms. The first four doors she opened were empty conference rooms, completely useless and unremarkable. On door number five, she was greeted with a massive analysis room, similar to that at the MI6 headquarters. Several analysts were slumped over their desks, unconscious, as Ava lightly tread through the room. From one of the desks she plucked a heavy packet of MI6 paperwork, hoping that it would give some insight on Russian motivations for their attack. 

Meanwhile, Beatrice was having similar luck as Ava. Most of the rooms were empty. Just as Beatrice was internally lamenting the lack of personnel, four operatives burst from a nearby room. They’d dug up their own masks from somewhere, rendering them as immune to the gas as she was. With fast reflexes, she put a bullet through one of their heads, but there was too little distance for her to get off another shot. 

Beatrice took a step back as the three remaining men stepped forward. In their perception, she was leading them forward, but in reality, she was trying to gain the upper hand. Lulling them into a false sense of confidence helped, but getting closer to Ava was even more helpful. Right? She didn’t have time to think about it for more than a split second before one of the men rushed forward, hoping to use his size and strength as an advantage. 

In her tired distraction, Beatrice couldn’t get out of the way fast enough, and he caught her shoulder, knocking them both to the ground. Her head swam as it smacked into the tile, but she recovered quickly enough to put a round through his skull. Surely, Ava must have heard all this commotion right now; Beatrice thought to herself as she rose to face the other two operatives. Unless…?

Ava had been crossing into a back room, to be thorough, when she felt something the barrel of a gun press into the back of her head. “Ne dvigaysya.” A woman’s voice growled, slightly muffled by her presumed mask.  _ Don’t move. _

“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it.” Ava stood stock still, though she couldn’t keep her words in check. As usual.

“Put your gun on the desk. Pryamo seychas.” She commanded. Ava, without any other options, complied. “Turn around.” 

“It’s you.” Ava breathed, recognising the dark-haired woman from her ill-fated journey to Leningrad. 

“Give me what you’ve taken.” She muttered, without acknowledging Ava’s recognition. 

At that moment, Ava heard Beatrice and the operative fall in the hallway, a heavy hit from the sound of it. She flinched, as did the woman standing across from her.

“Sounds like your devchachiy is in trouble.” She teased. 

“Perhaps.” Ava’s voice was barely more than a growl in her frustration. In a undeniably risky move, Ava pushed the gun away from her forehead with her left hand, while breaking the operative’s elbow with her right. 

The heavy, Soviet gun fell to the floor, as did its owner. Ava grabbed her own gun from the desk and shot the woman without hesitation. This killing felt more personal than the others, more deserved, but Ava didn’t revel in it. Instead, she simply felt less guilty than usual, while running back towards the hallway in a mad dash to help Beatrice. 

Beatrice had held her own remarkably well, though a two on one fight was usually still in her favour. After getting knocked down, she’d recovered with remarkable speed, even managing to avoid a knife that one of the men had thrown at her. Or almost, since it had caught the edge of her coat. At least that’s what she thought. In truth, the blade has sliced her shoulder quite deeply, but in the heat of battle, Beatrice was blind to the burning pain. 

Frantically, she traded blow after blow, block after block, with the two Soviet operatives. Keeping them both moving and on their toes was keeping Beatrice safe until she could strike a killing blow. Right when she was about to do just that, one man toppled, then the other. Behind them, a slight flustered looking Ava with a smoking gun in hand. 

“You’re bleeding.” Ava whispered through her mask as they clambered back up the stairs. They were nearly out of time.

“Hmm…” Beatrice looked down at her damp, red coat sleeve. 

“We shouldn’t have split up.” Added Ava as they broke through the roof door, both pulling off their masks in relief.

“How’d you do?” Lilith asked as she tied the door shut. Both she and Camila looked no worse than when they’d entered the building, making Ava sigh in relief. 

“Four operatives.” Beatrice reported, slightly out of breath from the fighting and subsequent running. 

“Five.” Ava corrected. “Plus the possibly useful data that I have in my coat.” 

“Great. Plus our six makes a solid eleven. Not terrible.” Camila smiled slightly as she led them across the roof and down the icy fire escape. 

“By our standards, this was pretty successful.” Beatrice joked, though it didn’t elicit the response from Ava that she might have hoped. Why is that? 

“Well, we still have to escape the city.” Lilith muttered, but there were no obstacles keeping them from the car.

Only a few minutes later, the four of them were safely on the road, putting distance between themselves and the city of Smolensk. Snow swirled around the small car, insulating the surrounding farm fields with icy quiet. No one spoke, but the silence was far from nervous. It was a tired calm, a calm that would be sharply contrasted by the chaos of the following day.


	27. A Change of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for slower updates sometimes, im in the midst of an emotional breakdown. sorry.

In a small town hotel, midway between Smolensk and Moscow, Ava silently stitched up the wound on Beatrice’s shoulder. “It seems like I’m the one ruining clothing now.” Beatrice joked halfheartedly, with a glance at her ripped coat. Ava didn’t reply, nor acknowledge Beatrice’s words at all. “Hey, Ava. Look at me.” Gently, Beatrice put a hand beneath Ava’s chin and forced her head up.

“Stop. You’re going to make me mess up.” Ava whispered, rather sharply, as she continued to work on Beatrice’s shoulder. Silently, Beatrice waited until Ava was done, before trying again.

“Now there’s nothing to mess up. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Ava rose quickly, tidying the medical supplies that were scattered across the bedside table. 

“Ava.” Beatrice stood. Her thoughts were a confusing mix of frustration and concern. “Please. Talk to me.” 

“It’s nothing. Really.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Beatrice felt her voice rise in pitch slightly, but she didn’t care. She didn’t get a reply immediately, but Ava took a sharp deep breath.

“She was there.” Ava finally spoke, while leaning heavily against the wall. A moment later, she sunk to the floor and put her head between her knees.

“Who?” 

“The honeypot.” Ava mumbled.

“Oh.” Beatrice wasn’t sure how to feel, or if she felt anything. Mostly, she was grateful that everyone had made it out safely. 

“I killed her.” Ava added, still hiding her face. 

“Oh?” 

“It was what we were there to do.” Ava finally looked up and met Beatrice’s gaze. There were tears in both their eyes. “It was closure, I guess…”

“You don’t seem very fulfilled.” Beatrice breathed as she joined Ava on the floor.

“It’s still murder, even if it was more personal.” Ava sighed heavily before continuing. “I don’t know. It was… Everything has been… A lot.”

“That’s an understatement.” 

“Anyway, we have more important things to focus on.” Ava withdrew the packet of information from her discarded jacket. “Like this.”

“Hmm…” Beatrice looked over the front page. “These are personnel files. Did you know that?” She ran a hand over the Cyrillic label affixed to the front of the file, directly below an MI6 logo. It was almost jarring to see the two of them together - the representation of two opposing sides.

“I can pick out a few Russian words, here and there.” Ava shrugged. “I’m not going to read Dostoyevsky in the original language, though.” 

“Not yet, at least.” Beatrice replied, distractedly, as she flipped through the thick packet. “There’s some familiar faces here.” 

“Are there?” Ava raised an eyebrow. She didn’t have the energy for a massive revelation right now. All she wanted was for this mission to be over safely and  _ soon.  _

“Like this weirdo.” Beatrice smirked slightly as she passed Ava one of the pages. Her own file, as it turns out.

“I look like a child in this picture.” Ava whispered as she ran her hand over the page. Handwritten, Russian additions adorned her file.

“Yeah, a bit.” Beatrice smiled. “Here’s mine.” She pulled another sheet from the packet, her own annotated documentation.

“What do the notes on the side say?” Ava asked, trying not to focus on the attached photo of a younger, more serious-looking Beatrice.

“Umm…” An uncharacteristic mumble was Beatrice’s only immediate reply. 

“What is it?” Ava’s words were harder the second time, upon sensing Beatrice’s reticence. 

“This here…” Beatrice pointed to a three word phrase that had been scrawled atop the margin. “Translates loosely to ‘recommended for assassination’ or ‘termination.’”

“Oh.” Logically, Ava knew that the KGB already wanted to kill Beatrice, but it still hurt just as bad. 

“Yours says the same.” Beatrice added quietly, pointing out the same set of foreign words on Ava’s file. 

“That doesn’t bother me.” 

“Ava…” 

“Is anyone else’s file in there?” Ava changed the subject, rather drastically, making it clear she didn’t want to continue this discussion with Beatrice. 

There were a few minutes of silence as Beatrice shuffled through the stack of papers. “Yes.” She finally replied, pulling out four more documents. Camila’s, Lilith’s, Mary’s, and Shannon’s file; respectively.

“Hmm…” Ava looked over them with an unreadable expression. “The Soviets certainly aren’t happy with us.” 

“Well, yeah. That’s unsurprising.” 

“Are you scared for the second half of this operation?” Ava asked suddenly, shattering whatever illusion of calm they’d been hanging on to before. 

“I’d be a bloody fool not to be.” Beatrice shook her head. She felt overwhelmed by everything that Ava  _ wasn’t  _ saying. “Are you?” 

“I’m ready for this to be over.” Ava rubbed her eyes, clearly exhausted. “I’m ready to not be constantly worried about you. There’s been too many close calls lately and, realistically, I’m not sure how many more times we can cheat death.” 

“Ava -”

“I know that our work doesn’t end once this mission is over.” Ava interrupted. “I’m not stupid. Rebuilding MI6 will probably be dangerous in it’s own right. But this… This operation is on a whole other level.” 

“You need to worry about yourself, too.” Beatrice whispered, before running a hand across Ava’s cheek. “Remember what we talked about, okay? We’re  _ both  _ making it out of this. No matter what.”

“Promise?”    
“Promise.” 

They affirmed their agreement with a kiss, before sorting through the rest of the stolen data. There wasn’t much of use, other than a complete list of KGB assets, flipped MI6 agents included. Ava and Beatrice carried the files next door, to go over them with Camila and Lilith. 

“Interesting…” Lilith said to herself as she looked through the files. “Well, we can cross these three off. I recognise them from earlier.” She removed three documents from the rest. 

“And these.” Camila pulled another set of papers from the rest. “There are still over thirty agents, at least, that are unaccounted for.” 

“The goal was never to kill everyone.” Beatrice replied while casting a nervous glance at Ava. She hated to be so brutal, but it came with the job. “But we need to,  _ at least,  _ negate whatever gains they made from the incident in London. We can’t allow such a breach of intelligence to go unavenged. It would only put a bigger target on our backs.” 

Music flowed from the radio as the four of them talked, though Ava barely spoke. Instead, she watched her friends discuss strategy with a taciturn expression adorning her face. 

“We could be walking into a trap by continuing onto Moscow.” Lilith said quietly, voicing a thought that all of them had had.

“We don’t really have a choice.” Beatrice ran a hand over her hair. Between the bruising from her broken nose and perpetual undereye bags, she looked exhausted. “But the grace day between the hits should lull the Soviets into a false sense of security.” 

“While actually providing Mary, Shannon, and the American strike team time to get into position.” Camila completed Beatrice’s thought. 

“In theory.” Beatrice barely disguised her worry.

“Do you really think they’ll lift whatever alert or lockdown they had in place after a single day?” Lilith inquired, running her own mental calculations and assessments

“Given all the data I could find on such short notice, yes.” Beatrice sat on the corner of the bed. “Instead of remaining in hiding tomorrow, we could sneak into the city a day early. Time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted and we might be able to get a better idea of what we’re going up against.”

“You want to deviate from the original plan?” Camila seemed shocked at the suggestion.

“Well, yes.” A soft sigh escaped Beatrice’s lips. “I had hoped we’d do more damage in Smolensk. Given its proximity to England compared to Moscow, I had expected more of the defectors to be there.”

“Is it worth the risk?” Lilith wondered. She was sitting beside the window, looking out at the snowy field below. 

“Getting into Moscow won’t be easy, but that was the case regardless.” Camila stood by the desk and kept nervously flipping through the stack of files. 

“What  _ exactly  _ are we considering here?” Ava finally spoke and didn’t bother to hide the frustration in her voice. “It doesn’t seem like much of a choice from where I’m standing.”

“Well, unlike you, the rest of us don’t revel in jumping into dangerous situations.” Lilith bit, quick to defend Camila’s dignity if not her own.

“That’s funny coming from you, given what happened with the Mafiya only hours ago.” Ava retorted, which in fairness, was a good point. 

“Lilith, you have to admit that -” 

“Enough.” Beatrice interrupted whatever Camila had been about to say. “We don’t have the time to argue amongst ourselves. Not right now.” 

“Sorry.” Ava whispered.

“Sorry.” Lilith echoed a second later.

“We have limited information, which puts us in a riskier position if we sneak into Moscow early. But, doing so could save lives. These are our only two options - unless you consider retreat an option. Which frankly, I do not.” Beatrice presented the scenario logically, but her words still seemed to suck the air out of the room. 

“Nor do I.” Camila mumbled a moment later, nothing short of determined. 

“So then we’re going.” Tension was obvious in Lilith’s posture as she spoke. “But we need to be cautious. Extremely cautious. Cautious to a point that I cannot overstate.” 

“Ava? What do you think?” Beatrice addressed her directly.

“I think…” She paused, as if weighing their options in her head. “It’s definitely safer than us playing ice hockey.” 

“Ha!” Camila couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re impossible!” Beatrice told her at the same time, unsure if she should be frustrated with Ava or not. So, basically how she felt about Ava constantly. 

“In seriousness…” Ava composed herself and the smile fell from her face. “I won’t say that I’m not scared about this, because I am. But I trust my team and I’m confident we can do this.”

“That settles it then.” Lilith muttered, barely disguised her own nervousness.

“Mary is going to be  _ pissed. _ ” Camila added, earning a look of agreement from Ava. “I mean, she has written you up for deviating from your briefing on almost every single mission, so…”

“I know, I know.” Ava held up a hand. “But learning more about the situation in Moscow will likely save lives, so I think Mary will understand.” 

“Alright.” Beatrice inhaled sharply. “We’ll leave early tomorrow and take a roundabout way into the city. Camila, can you go over our maps tonight?”

“Of course.” Camila nodded.   
“And try to get a good night’s sleep, okay?” Beatrice added as she moved towards the door. “We want to be going into tomorrow at our best.” 

“That means no hanky panky.” Ava grinned as she followed Beatrice. 

“Ava!” Camila laughed even as she threw Ava a playful glare. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Ava chuckled as she headed into the hallways. She was, obviously, not sorry in the slightest. 

Once back in their room, Ava’s playful mask had fallen away in an instant. She sat on the end of the bed, facing towards the window and away from Beatrice. 

“Ava?” Beatrice asked after several minutes of silence between them, but didn’t get a response. Quietly, Beatrice joined Ava in bed, resting a gentle hand on Ava’s shoulder. Even from the small point of contact, Beatrice could feel how tense Ava was. 

“Ava?” Beatrice repeated herself. 

“Hm?” Ava turned to face Beatrice, slightly confused. Her mind couldn’t have been further away.   
“Talk to me. Please.” 

“There is nothing to talk about.” With a sigh, Ava stretched out and laid down on the edge of the bed. Despite her exhaustion, she had no doubt that sleep would be difficult.

“Ava.” Beatrice breathed as she curled up beside Ava.

“We don’t have the luxury of working through our emotions right now, Beatrice. Once this is all over, if we survive, then we can have an emotional breakdown and cry about our feelings. But for right now, I just need to push everything aside so I can function tomorrow and be an asset to this team.” 

“You’re more than  _ just  _ an asset.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Ava’s voice was sharp, but Beatrice knew the anger wasn’t directed towards her.

“I don’t understand why you won’t talk to me. We’ve been on missions together before.” Beatrice felt a stray tear slide down her face. 

“Never on a mission this long or this sensitive. Or dangerous.” Ava turned so she could face Beatrice in the dark. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we don’t exactly have a great track record for staying safe.” 

“So you think that but shutting me out, you’re keeping me safe?”

“I… Well… Yes?” 

“How,  _ exactly,  _ does that work?” 

“I… Um…” Ava stuttered over her words as she tried to verbalise the superstitious mental gymnastics that she was doing. “I don’t know.” 

“So you see my point, then?” Beatrice pulled herself closer to Ava, savouring the warm contact between them as always.

“Yes…” Ava pressed her head into Beatrice’s chest. “I just thought I’d feel… Different.” 

“How so?” Beatrice sensed that Ava was letting her in,  _ finally,  _ and she wanted to do whatever she could to keep the conversation flowing.

“Well, killing  _ her  _ made me feel less remorseful than usual. I don’t think that’s a good thing. Despite what she did, even if it was to me personally, doesn’t make her deserving of death.” 

“Okay…” 

“But then the men in the hallway. They had hurt you.”

“It was my mistake, genuinely. I didn’t move as fast as I should have.” Beatrice mumbled as she closed her eyes, remembering the fight in perfect clarity. 

“They were trying to kill you, even if you would have ultimately won. You’re being intentionally obtuse about this.” 

“You’re right.” Admitted Beatrice in a small voice. 

“But I didn’t feel that bad about killing them, either. Because they were trying to hurt you. And in my mind, I valued your life over theirs.”

“I understand.” 

“But what gives me the right to make that decision?” The discord in Ava’s words was immediately clear.

“I’m not sure anyone has a  _ right  _ to it…” Not for the first time, Beatrice found herself puzzled by Ava’s perception of a situation.

“I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you’d have made the same decision. And I’m also sure that the Soviet operatives would have killed us without a second thought. The only reason we’ve survived is because we’ve been better fighters than our enemies. What kind of mandate is that?”

“I don’t think I have the answers to your questions.” 

“I didn’t expect you to, even if you are a genius.” Ava relaxed slightly in Beatrice’s arms. “It’s just… I regret what I’ve done but I also wouldn’t change my actions. Odd, I know.” 

“There isn’t always going to be an easy solution. This job brings out both the best and the worst in us all.” 

“Is that what you think?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice could feel the cumulative weeks of exhaustion weighing heavily on her body and mind. “Despite the darkness, you defend everyone. That couple from Berlin who sold us out, for instance. You didn’t blame them, but instead tried to understand their reasoning. You’ve thrown yourself into dangerous situations to protect those you care about. And you  _ never  _ treat a human life as though it is valueless.”

“Because it’s not.” Ava sighed heavily. “You’re smart, Beatrice.” Her words were slurred slightly and it was clear that Ava was only a few minutes from falling asleep.

“I try.” A smile crept across Beatrice’s face. It was amazing how, even with everything going on, being close to Ava made her feel so safe. 

“You succeed.”

“No matter what happens…” Beatrice inhaled deeply. “I love you, Ava.” 

“I love... You too... Beatrice.” Ava breathed, before quickly falling asleep. Beatrice joined her a minute later and they both shared a surprisingly calm and restful night. It was a rare blessing, and one that would be sorely needed if they wanted to survive tomorrow’s events.


	28. The Heart of the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes according to plan - except not.

Stiff silence enveloped the four tense passengers. Lilith expertly maneuvered the Trabant down winding, snowy backroads, in their search for an unguarded way into Moscow. So far, they’d already run into several Mafiya roadblocks, extending what should have been a two hour drive into a four hour jaunt. Eventually, Camila looked up from the map, speaking in a short whisper. 

“There aren’t many options left.” 

“And I don’t think we can pull off the ‘Mafiya men murder each other’ trick a second time.” Beatrice muttered. Her mind was already blazing through possibilities, weighing out their options. 

“It’s going to get dark soon.” Ava added as she looked out the window. 

Already, the hazy sun was falling towards the horizon, though the day had already been dark and snowy to begin with. “Darkness could be an asset.” Lilith muttered in consideration.

“Or a detriment.” Beatrice countered. “These constant roadblocks are worrying. Our enemy can hide beneath the cover of darkness just as easily as we can.”

“The sheer amount of personnel guarding the city is worrying.” Camila replied, looking back down at her map. “We must have generated quite an upset in Smolensk.” 

“Speaking of which…” The terse worry in Lilith’s voice was clear. “We’ve got a tail.” 

“Fuck.” Ava muttered, pulling her gun from her coat. “This feels awfully familiar.” 

“And not in a fun way.” Beatrice murmured in reply as she unsheathed her pistol.

“Don’t shoot yet.” Lilith instructed, as she made a sudden turn. “This car doesn’t exactly have a lot of power, but one tail shouldn’t be an issue.” 

“And remember, you can always use Ava’s signature ‘tactical crash.’” Camila joked.

“Good to know.” Lilith grunted as she threw the car into its top gear and slid around a corner. Several more vehicles appeared in front of the car, forcing Lilith to pull the emergency brake and spin the car around - with the intent to double back.

“Now might be a good time to start shooting.” Camila instructed, as she watched one of the Mafiya men lean out the window with an automatic rifle in hand.

A second later, the back windshield broke, spraying both Ava and Beatrice with glass. “Stay down.” Beatrice told Ava in a sharp whisper. 

“You know, I think -” Ava swallowed her joke as a bullet ripped through her headrest. Now probably wasn’t the best time. During a break in the fire, Beatrice made four shots, all aimed at the nearest Mafiya vehicle. Given the sound of screeching tires, it was likely her shot connected, despite Lilith’s evasive driving maneuvers. 

On their left, another car was gaining, so Ava cracked open her door, just enough to fit her gun through the opening. “Hold on, Ava!” Camila shouted, just as Lilith threw the car into a spin once more. Gunfire filled the air and Ava used every muscle in her body to keep herself from tumbling out the open door. Of course, Beatrice’s hand on her collar probably helped too. 

Once the car stopped spinning, Ava emptied her clip into the engine block of the closest vehicle. Almost instantly, the sick smell of gasoline permeated the icy breeze, but it had bought them a few minutes. Or would have, if another vehicle didn’t smash into their car. Ava was thrown from the Trabant, painful tumbling and sliding across the icy ground. Her vision spun for several seconds as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Or at the very least, which direction was up and which was down.

Confused, but panicked, Ava watched as the Mafiya men dragged her friends from the car. They were all injured, clearly, in various states of unconsciousness. 

“Gde chetvertyy?” One of the men barked, a shiny rifle in hand.  _ Where’s the fourth one?  _ Ava froze, he was talking about her. She had been thrown into a snowbank; they couldn’t see her. 

“Skazhite bossu, chto ona umerla.” Another one answered, before firing several rounds into the Trabant’s engine.  _ Tell the boss she died. _ A sick feeling came over Ava then. She had only a few seconds to make a choice. Pain was creeping into her perception, she was clearly injured, but she couldn’t just let them take her friends. Take  _ Beatrice.  _ Could she? 

Ava tried to assess the situation as calmly as possible. There were eight men total, between two vehicles. Her friends were amongst them, carried into one of the waiting cars, but they wouldn’t be much help in a firefight. She only had her pistol, with a few spare mags in her coat pocket. With a sigh, Ava watched the men drive away, just as the Trabant began to burn.

“I’m sorry.” Ava whispered. “I promise I’ll come for you.” She would be more use to her friends, and the cause, if she stayed free. As quickly as she could manage, Ava extricated herself from the snowbank, running towards the burning car. With barely a minute to spare, Ava pulled the bags from the trunk. If she was going to take on a contingent of the KGB, alone, she’d need more than a single pistol.

The car exploded only a few seconds later, throwing Ava and the bags back to the ground. Frustrated, Ava rose once more, choosing to ignore her injuries until she was in a more secure location. Out here, in the snow and covered in blood, was far too exposed. Instead, she retraced their journey down the road, finding an abandoned Mafiya car, who’s driver had been shot between the eyes. 

“Nice shot, Beatrice.” Ava muttered to herself as she loaded up the bags and pulled the man’s body out of the vehicle. She drove carefully away from the scene of the crash, towards a closer checkpoint. Unsurprisingly, it was now empty, since the targets were presumed caught. With cynical thoughts and worry in her heart, Ava was thankful for the small stroke of luck as she drove into Moscow. Perhaps more aptly, into the heart of the beast. 

Twenty minutes later, Ava pulled up beside a tall building, nearby to the KGB headquarters. Light was fading fast, but she used what was left of it to assess her injuries. The drive had been downright miserable, between the stress and the growing pain, but Ava worked hard to keep her composure. This was far from over.

Slowly, Ava pulled off her jacket. Blood had pooled in the left sleeve, soaking completely through the fabric. “Well, fuck.” Ava breathed. Her arm was clearly broken, the bone was sharply sticking through the skin. With her right arm, Ava retrieved the first aid kit from Beatrice’s bag. “Alright. Okay. Reset it. No problem.” She tried to talk herself up and breathe through the pain, but her words were hollow.

After a bleary few minutes, Ava gave the wound a quick clean, before wrapping it in a rudimentary brace. A shaky breath shook her chest.

“Only need one hand to shoot a gun, though.” Ava mumbled, as she withdrew two painkillers from the first aid kit, chewing them with a grimace. Thankfully, she bore no other severe injuries, other than a mess of bruises and bloody scrape across one side of her face where she hit the ice.

Ava closed her eyes for a moment. She needed to think. She needed a  _ plan.  _ Across the street, there was a phone booth, a dim light in the growing darkness. Frantically, Ava tried to recall the list of numbers that Shannon had given them to memorise. Tears fell from her face as she thought; Ava was fully aware that her failure now could cost her friends their lives. Then, like a bolt of lightning, Ava remembered the phone number she was thinking of.

Hurriedly, Ava pulled a handful of kopeks from her pocket and ran across the street, careful to keep her head down. Undoubtedly, with their proximity to the KGB’s main building, these phones would be tapped. She’d have to think of a way to tell whoever answered what had happened… Without telling whoever was listening what happened. 

Her hands shook as she dialed the number. Ava’s frosty breath hung in the air and she shivered without her jacket. Still, Mary’s voice answering on the other end made her forget all of that in an instant.

“Who is this?” 

“Me, your favourite person. Driver extraordinaire.” Ava replied, trying and failing to inject some levity into her tone.

Mary, thankfully catching on, replied in equally vague terms. “What do you need?” 

“Three quarters of the butterflies have been caught in the spider’s web, status unknown.” A stray tear darkened her shirt as Ava thought of her friends. “I’m ready to go but I might need help.” 

“ _ Christ. _ ” Mary muttered, before covering the receiver and whispered to whoever was nearby. Most likely, Shannon.

“Are you hurt?” Mary asked after the short pause.

“Erm…” Ava looked down at her blood soaked sleeve and nearly useless arm. “No.”

“You’re lying.” Mary sighed, though it sounded like a rush of wind through the phone. “Hold tight. Four hours.” 

“Hold tight?” Repeated Ava, knowing full well that it was the last thing she wanted to hear. 

“You heard me. I’m serious.” Her tone clearly illustrated just how serious Mary was. Too bad Ava was going to ignore her anyhow.

“Alright.” Ava shivered, partially from the cold and partially from the guilt of lying to someone she cared about. “Thank you. See you soon.”

“Be safe.” 

In the KGB headquarters, Beatrice lifted her head, despite the pain it caused her. Everything was fuzzy, hazy for a moment, before realisation set in. And when it did, Beatrice desperately wished she could return to unconsciousness. Being bound to a chair in a nondescript room was never a good sign. This was  _ bad.  _ Beyond bad. She could feel the stickiness of blood coating the side of her face and dripping down her neck. Her shoulder also ached deeply, probably from slamming into the side of the car, but Beatrice didn’t think it was broken.

As awareness continued to descend on her, Beatrice looked to her left. Camila sat there, equally bound, but thankfully awake. Their eyes met, and Beatrice could tell Camila was just as scared as she was. To Beatrice’s left was Lilith, who was in undeniably rough shape, but beyond that, looked angry. Then, a sickening feeling.  _ Where’s Ava?  _

“Where’s Ava?” Beatrice voiced her thoughts a moment later. There were no guards in the room, but it would be stupid to think they weren’t being monitored. 

“I don’t know.” Lilith coughed. “I didn’t see…”

“I don’t think she’s here.” Camila whispered, crying as she spoke. 

“Then where -”

Beatrice was interrupted by Adriel entering the room, flanked by two guards. “Hello again, girls.”

“Go  _ fuck  _ yourself.” Lilith replied, spitting blood in his direction.

“Rude.” He didn’t seem bothered. “It’s nice to see you all again. How are you doing?” 

“Where’s Ava!?” Beatrice shouted, unable to keep the emotion from her voice. It was almost animalistic, but when it came to Ava, she seemed to lose her refinement. 

“Oh, she didn’t make it.” Adriel delivered his reply with such casualness, that it took everyone a moment to understand what he meant. But once they did, the effect on their emotional states was immediate, evident, and heartbreaking. 

“What?” Camila breathed. She watched Adriel carefully, looking for any sign that he was lying, but he didn’t find one. 

“There’s no trick.” He seemed to sense her suspicions. “Some people just can’t handle themselves in a crash. No matter. Three’s a crowd.”

“What’s your game?” Beatrice growled, as tears cleaned the blood from her face. “We’re all labelled for termination, why bother bringing us in alive?” Now, Beatrice had nothing to lose. Without Ava, she was empty. 

“Smart girl.” Adriel took a few steps back. “I need collateral, just until whatever plan you have inevitably  _ blows up _ .”

“Who’s to say there’s more?” Lilith bluffed, but it wasn’t convincing in the slightest, she didn’t have the fortitude right now. 

“Hey, now. It was a good effort.” Immediately, Adriel was condescending. “Don’t worry, you’ll all join Ava soon enough.”

Before anyone could reply, he retreated from the room, taking the guards with him. From the tiny window in the door, Beatrice could see them standing guard. Despite their combined intelligence, training, and experience, it seemed likely that there was no escape from this. And even if there was, what was the point of escaping to a world without Ava? Instead, Beatrice wept, feeling the full spectrum of pain as her injuries ached in protest of her heaving sobs.

Nearby, Ava dug through the bags, packing up everything she thought she might need. “Hold tight? Oh no, absolutely not.  _ God,  _ Mary, you really should have known better than to give me an order like that.” She muttered to herself as she pulled on a clean jacket. Within a couple minutes, she was ready to go.

Night had fully fallen as Ava climbed up the icy fire escape. Between her broken arm and the heavy bag strapped across her shoulders, it was a perilous journey up five flights worth of ladders. After what seemed like an interminable climb, she finally dragged herself onto the roof, sweating despite the cold and snow. 

Taking care to stay low, Ava crept across the roof. In some ways it was just like their mission in Smolensk. Except, she had no backup, was injured, and the stakes were a thousand times higher. 

“So, nothing like that, then.” Ava whispered as she knelt behind the low wall that lined the edge of the roof. From here, she had a great vantage point, and could see the KGB building, plus the snipers that lined the roof.

From her concealed perch, Ava took several minutes to survey the scene. There weren’t many cars in the lot, and Ava didn’t see a parking structure, so she inferred that most of the analysts were home - in accordance with whatever lockdown they’d caused. Four snipers protected the building from above, one in each corner. With a sigh, Ava ducked back down and began assembling Lilith’s sniper rifle.

Once the gun was put together, Ava laid in wait for nearly an hour. She wanted to take out the snipers right after a shift change, to ensure maximal time before discovery. It was less than ideal, especially with the sickening worry that churned in her stomach, but she needed to be smart if there was even a chance of rescuing her friends. Plus, Mary would be  _ pissed  _ if she died. At that thought, Ava almost laughed. 

Finally,  _ finally,  _ the snipers moved from their positions. With slow, careful movements, Ava lifted the rifle and rested it on the edge of the roof. She wasn’t much of a sharpshooter on the best of days, but a broken arm and the shiver-inducing cold didn’t make it easier. Still, Ava was nothing if not stupidly determined. Gritting her teeth and looking through the scope, Ava set her resolve and prepared to make her first shot. 

She took a deep breath and aimed towards the closest sniper, the one who was mostly likely to detect her. A moment later, she pulled the trigger and tried to keep her shoulder from getting dislocated from the recoil.

“ _ Fuck. _ ” From her perch, Ava could see the first sniper go down with anyone noticing him, thankfully. “Lilith made this look a lot easier.”

After a few shaky breaths, Ava lined up her second shot as quickly as possible. Like the first, it went perfectly fine. It was the third shot, however, that caused problems. A sudden gust pushed her off target and the bullet hit the target’s shoulder, instead of his head or chest. The large calibre bullet still killed him, but not before he could call out to his colleague. 

Standing suddenly, the last remaining sniper immediately realised that the other three were dead. Instead of trying to identify the threat, like Ava expected him to do and would have done herself, he ran for the rooftop door. Swearing under her breath, Ava lined up the shot, making the kill just as he reached to unlock the door. Way too close. 

With all four men dead, there was nothing keeping Ava from making her way onto the KGB building’s roof. Well, nothing except her own fear. This was an unapologetically dangerous unknown that she was jumping into. Their plan was already broken and she had no idea what to expect. But, Ava being Ava, couldn’t keep herself from trying. Especially not if her friends’ lives were on the line. Unless…

“No.” Ava shook the thought from her head. She had to operate as though they were still alive. They  _ had  _ to be. The alternative was completely unbearable. From within the bag, Ava hid a few knives beneath her shirt, plus a second, smaller gun. The sniper rifle was left behind. Snow swirled through the air as Ava swung the grappling hook, trying to do it as confidently as Beatrice had. 

Her first throw missed the building’s roof completely. Her second throw missing the building’s roof completely. But on the third try, she finally managed to catch it. Ava released a thankful breath before sliding across to the other building. Even in the cold air, she could smell the blood from the snipers she had killed, which was sickening. As Ava knelt by the locked door, she forced the thought from her head. She could feel guilty about this later, if she was still alive. Beneath Ava’s hairpin and practiced hands, the lock yielded quickly. With a shaky breath, she slipped inside. There was no going back now. 

The stairway that led up to the roof was blissfully empty, but Ava had a hand on her gun anyhow. Silently, she rounded the corner, preparing for the worst. The corridor was abandoned. Ava’s heart pounded in her ears as she crept forward. Allied agents that saw the inside of the KGB headquarters never made it out alive. At least, no one ever had. 

“Beatrice, hey.” Camila’s gentle voice broke through Beatrice’s crying. “This might very well be a trick.” Even as she tried to convince Beatrice, though, Camila hid her own tears. 

“I wouldn’t put it past Adriel.” Lilith muttered with a wince. Beatrice took a deep breath, willing herself to stop crying for a moment.

“I will  _ fucking  _ kill him.” 

Four stories above them, Ava continued to move through the empty building. It was suspiciously empty. Ava’s skin crawled with the realisation. Was she walking into a trap? Surely not… Right? As she debated with herself, she made an interesting discovery at the end of the hall. A bomb. It was plastered to the wall, with a receiver for a signal, but no timer or other discernible features - though in fairness, Ava wasn’t an explosives expert. 

“I’m leading Mary’s team into a trap.” Ava breathed; the realisation was more painful than any injury. Carefully, Ava pulled the receiver from the device, crushing it beneath her boot. It was almost a given that there would be other explosives hidden within the building. Ava looked at her watch. She had, approximately, two and a half hours before Mary and Shannon arrived with the Americans. 

In a stealthy, but quick, walk, Ava moved towards the stairwell. Each floor held more of the same, a score of empty rooms and a hidden explosive or two. Ava knew, logically, that as she covered more of the building without finding her friends, the less chance there was of finding them alive. But she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, refuse to give up hope. Not yet. 

Which is good, because the basement finally yielded some excitement. From her hiding spot on the edge of the corridor, Ava could see a single open office, with yellow light painting a swath across the floor. From within, a familiar voice growled into a phone, clearly angry. 

“If we’re going to continue hiring Mafiya men to help with our bigger operations, you need to ensure that you can keep them in line. The KGB cannot be associated with such sloppy work.”

Adriel paused, to let who he was talking to reply. “Yes, I understand. We don’t have to wait much longer. I imagine the second team, whoever they managed to round up, will arrive some time tonight.” Ava peeked around the corner as Adriel continued to talk, only to catch sight of the two guards at the opposite end of the hall. This in itself was hopeful, empty rooms aren’t guarded.

Before Ava could make a move, the cold and unforgiving barrel of a gun was pressed into the back of her head.


	29. Funny How Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission is completed, for better or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is the length of a novel lmfao

“Stand up and face me.” The man breathed. Ava did as he instructed, feeling an eerie déjà vu. It was only yesterday that she’d been held at gunpoint in the same way. 

“Vincent.” Ava’s recognition threw all the other thoughts from her head, but she was careful to keep her voice low, lest Adriel hear their conversation. If you could call it that.

“Last I heard, you were dead.” He muttered.

“Surprise.” Ava murmured. She could still hear Adriel talking on the phone down the hall. That was a good sign. Right?

“Tell me why I shouldn’t shoot you right now.” 

“Maybe you should.” Ava shrugged, tucking her hands behind her back as she did so. It was a convincing bluff, enough to give Vincent pause.

“What are you hiding?” He asked, his voice a low growl in his throat.

“Come find out.” Ava replied, pulling the knife from her belt loop and shoving it through Vincent’s abdomen, faster than he could react. Almost immediately, he dropped his gun, pressing his hands to the growing bloody spot on his stomach. 

“What was that?” Adriel called from his office, upon hearing the gun clang against the tile. “Vincent? Is that you?” 

Vincent opened his mouth to shout, but no words came out. Instead, a trickle of blood ran down his chin. Thinking quickly, Ava pushed Vincent in front of her, using his body as cover as stepped out into the hallway proper. The wound would most likely be fatal, but she had a few minutes at least. Hopefully, that would be enough.

“You!” Adriel shouted, as the guards ran forward. 

“You really shouldn’t leave your dirty work to outside contractors.” Ava replied from behind Vincent. Holding him with her broken arm was undeniably painful, but she needed her good hand to aim her gun at Adriel.

“I’m learning that.” Adriel responded. To his credit, he composed himself quickly.

Adriel lifted his gun, but didn’t shoot. “What are you planning?” Ava shouted, unable to contain her anger for a moment longer.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Adriel closed his eyes for a minute and took a deep breath. When he opened them, he shot Vincent in the head, killing him instantly. Ava, unable to hold his dead body in front of her, fired a single, sloppy shot, before diving back into cover. 

Someone fell to the ground. “Get… Her.” Adriel moaned, clearly the unlucky one that caught Ava’s bullet. Footsteps echoed through the corridor and Ava knew she had only a moment before the guards rounded the corner. Painfully, Ava threw herself to the ground, guessing correctly that the guards would be expecting her to be standing. To get both shots off, she would only need a few extra seconds.

Just as Ava intended, the guards appeared, and from the ground, she put a round through each of their skulls. They were dead in a matter of seconds, though one of them fell on top of her. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Ava breathed as his blood dripped onto her jacket and face as she slid her way free. With a wince, she rose, using the wall to steady herself. Cautiously, she peeked around the corner, only to see Adriel leaning against the wall, with a hand pressed to his stomach.

“Your shirt is probably ruined.” Ava bit as she walked towards him. Normally, the remorse she felt for killing was overwhelming, but Adriel was the exception. 

“Fuck… You…” He rasped, slowly lifting his gun up and towards Ava. She kicked it from his hand before he could get a shot off. 

“You’ve caused a lot of suffering.” Ava knelt beside him and took the keys from his pocket. 

Before he had a chance to reply, Ava shot him again. In the head, this time. It brought her no peace, but it didn’t bring her sadness, either. With obvious pain in her gait, Ava strode down the hall, peaking through the window of the door that had, until very recently, been guarded. Inside was exactly who she hoped to find. A wide grin spread across her face as she unlocked the door with Adriel’s keys. 

“Long time no -” Ava was interrupted by the sound of rapid gunfire from upstairs. “Oh, for _fuck’s_ sake.” Running back into the hallway, Ava retrieved the guard’s guns and brought them back, before freeing her friends. As Camila barricaded the door with their chairs, Beatrice threw her arms around Ava, almost completely oblivious of whatever drama was unfolding above them. 

  
“He told us you were dead.” Beatrice whispered. 

“I made a promise.” Ava replied, equally quiet. “Either we both make it out of this, or neither of us do. Remember?” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice pressed a quick kiss to Ava’s lips before loading the automatic rifle that Ava had taken from one of the guards. 

“If you two are done…” Lilith muttered, her breath clearly laboured as she pressed a hand to her rib cage. “We should probably look alive.”

“Probably.” Ava nodded, as she ducked behind a desk. “You look like shit, Lil.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Lilith bit, though Camila stifled a laugh.

“ _God,_ I’m so glad you’re all alive.” Ava breathed as tears drew tracks in the blood on her face.

“Same to you.” Camila answered, earning a fierce nod from both Beatrice and Lilith.

An explosion shook the entire building. “Well, maybe not for much longer.” Ava muttered, pulling back the slide on her pistol. “But I’ll be damned if we don’t go without a fight.” No one had time to reply, as shouts began to echo down the hallway. The four of them strained to listen, trying to discern which language was being spoken. 

A second later, the door was blasted open. With a nervous deep breath, Ava popped up, as did her friends. In the doorway was _not_ the enemy they expected.

“ _Jesus Christ!_ ” Mary shouted as she lowered her weapon. 

“Mary!” Camila yelled, dropping her weapon. Meanwhile, Ava looked at her watch.

“You’re an hour early.” 

“And you weren’t supposed to be here at all!” Shannon added as she entered the room. Like Mary, she was wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying a hefty-looking gun.

“But you admire my gumption and are proud of me?” Ava replied hopefully.

“No.” Mary shook her head. “Well, as an intelligence officer I’m impressed. But as your boss and your friend, I’m very angry.” 

“What is happening here?” Beatrice asked, looking between everyone and feeling as though she were missing a few pieces of the puzzle. But maybe that was just the head injury. 

“When we got hit by the car, I flew out of the open door and landed in a snowbank, so the Mafiya men didn’t see me. I didn’t think my chances of an eight on one shootout were very good, so I let them take you three, hoping that they wouldn’t kill you right away. I’m sorry.” Ava looked down and stopped explaining, feeling more guilty now that the adrenaline of the situation had fallen away.

“Then she called our forward operating base.” Mary added. “With a message that was cryptic as anything. Shannon and I advised that she stay put and wait for us to show up. Which, as you can see, is not what happened.” 

“How about instead of explaining this all now, we get out of here.” Shannon suggested, as she wrapped an arm around Lilith to help her from the building. “The site is secure for now, but I doubt we will be able to hold it for long.”

“Good plan.” Mary mumbled as she exited the room. Shannon and Lilith followed, with Camila close behind them. A few paces back, Beatrice took Ava’s hand in her own, beyond grateful that Adriel hadn’t been right about her death. 

“Ow…” Ava whispered, taking a step to Beatrice’s other side. “Maybe this hand is better. Sorry.” 

“Ava…” Beatrice had tears in her eyes and a million overwhelming thoughts that clashed with each other, rendering her silent. 

“I know.” Ava smiled slightly, in understanding. “Let’s get out here, okay. Then we can deal with everything else.” 

“I… Okay.” Beatrice nodded and led Ava into the hallway, where she was promptly confronted with the bodies of the dead guards, Adriel, and Vincent. “Did you do this?” 

“Yes.” Ava answered with a harsh syllable and the smile fell from her face. 

“Normally, killing the head of MI6 wouldn’t be grounds for commendation.” Shannon began. “But these are not normal circumstances.” 

“I didn’t kill Vincent. Technically.” Ava breathed. The stench of blood and death in the corridor was overwhelming, which made it hard for Ava to concentrate. Instead, she let Beatrice lead her towards the doorway as her thoughts wandered entirely. 

“What?” Mary was clearly confused. Meanwhile, Beatrice only stared at Ava, with an expression somewhere between concern and wonder. How did Ava manage to take out all four of these men, and likely others, while injured? More importantly, was she okay? 

“Adriel shot him.” Murmured Ava, though it was evident that she was not really in a headspace to explain any more of the story. At least, not for the moment. 

In the building’s lobby, the six of them regrouped with the rest of the American strike team. “We’ve only got an hour to make it to the extraction point. The charges are set and we’re ready to move out.” One of the men reported to Mary.

“Glad to hear it.” Mary turned to look at her friends. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” 

As the convoy of vehicles sped away through Moscow’s snowy streets, Shannon pressed the detonator, reducing the headquarters to a burning pile of ash within minutes. Beatrice, who watched from the rear window, couldn’t help but reflect on what Ava had said a few weeks ago. _What if I infiltrate the KGB and burn all the files?_ When Ava had suggested it, Beatrice told her that it had never been done. She should have known, though, as Ava seemed to make a habit of the impossible. 

It was far past midnight when the transport helicopter that had picked them up outside the city began approaching an American military installation in Finland. Ava had long since fallen asleep on Beatrice’s shoulder, but everyone else remained awake.

“It’s nights like these that really make me want to apply for early retirement.” Lilith muttered, as she looked out the window and into the snowy night. 

“Seriously.” Shannon rubbed her eyes. It looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. “I almost lost my two best agents, and Mary’s two best agents, and I’m suddenly in charge of MI6. Which, in case we’ve forgotten, was recently attacked.” 

“Hey, Shan.” Mary laid a hand on Shannon’s knee. “It’s okay. We’re all going to help you get the agency back up and running. I’ve already sent in my transfer paperwork, remember?”

“Wait, what?” Beatrice joined the conversation and finally managed to tear her gaze away from a sleeping Ava. 

“Mary is transferring to MI6.” Shannon explained in a terse whisper. “We need capable staff desperately, since half of them either defected, quit, or were killed.” 

“Speaking of which…” The corner of Camila’s mouth turned up into a smile as she spoke.

“Cam…” Lilith stared at her, concerned about whatever it was Camila might say. 

“I think I’d like to transfer too, if you’ll have me.” 

“Really?” Mary and Shannon wondered at the same time.

“Well, yes.” Camila laughed. “You need agents and I don’t want to work for anyone other than Mary. Plus, I’ve met someone…” She added the last sentence with completely unnecessary dramatics. 

“Oh my _God…_ ” Breathed Lilith, pretending to be annoyed to hide the telltale blush that crept across her cheeks. 

“If you’re serious, I’ll put in your paperwork as soon as we get back to London.” Mary told Camila with a smile. “I wonder what Ava will think about this…” 

“Actually…” Beatrice looked at Ava’s sleeping face, then back at Mary. “Ava already mentioned wanting to transfer. The day before yesterday.” 

“Hmm…” Shannon hummed. “That’s unsurprising. Especially compared to the eight people she killed and bombs she disarmed trying to rescue you three by herself. _Despite_ Mary’s orders.” 

“She _what?_ ” Camila expressed her shock before anyone else could. 

“She disobeyed my orders.” Mary replied. “Which is honestly expected behaviour at this point.” 

“I was more referring to the whole ‘killing eight people plus the bombs’ thing, actually.” Camila retorted, earning a laugh from both Mary and Shannon. 

“Love is... Powerful motivator.” Ava mumbled, without opening her eyes. “I didn’t want... To lose anyone…”

“You didn’t.” Beatrice whispered in reply, before pressing a kiss to Ava’s forehead.

“Go… Team.” 

“That’s the spirit.” Mary chuckled as the helicopter finally landed.

Only minutes after landing, Ava, Camila, Beatrice, and Lilith were whisked away to the medical wing of the base. Meanwhile, Shannon and Mary debriefed with the team before going to bed. It wasn’t until late the next morning that the six of them had a proper discussion. 

“The whole base is talking about you four.” Mary announced as she entered the otherwise empty infirmary.

“All good things, I hope?” Ava smiled. 

“Mmm…” Shannon considered Ava’s words. “Mostly. The words _absolutely reckless and idiotic_ were also thrown around.”  
“Frankly, I’m offended.” Muttered Ava, though she was clearly far from it. 

“Alright, let’s see here.” Mary picked up Ava’s chart from the stand beside her bed. “Open fracture, ten stitches, abrasions, possible head trauma.”

“I think they said possible because they weren’t sure if Ava is always this dumb or it was from the accident.” Lilith muttered from the adjacent bed.

“Hey!” Protested Ava, while giving Lilith a joking glare. 

“That’s fair.” Mary chuckled at the jest as she crossed over to Lilith’s bed. “How about you, Lilith?” The worry on Mary’s face was barely disguised as she scanned Lilith’s report. 

“I’m fine.” Lilith muttered, looking at the floor. 

“It says here that you broke, _Jesus,_ five ribs in one go.” 

“I was driving.” 

“Must have been some accident.” Mary breathed, looking between Lilith and the paper in her hand. “Can someone please give me a full account of what happened?” 

“We made an executive decision, the night before last.” Camila began quietly. She was in the best shape of the four of them, but not by much. “Our mission in Smolensk wasn’t as effective as we might have hoped.”

“What are the parameters?” Shannon wondered as she sat down on the corner of Beatrice’s bed. 

“We only took out eleven operatives.” Beatrice replied. “Which was far from ideal, and below our minimum target.” 

“That being said, it was a beautiful executed mission.” Ava added.

“It was.” Lilith gave a small nod of agreement. 

“I’d argue that infiltrating a KGB base, in Russia proper, and taking out _any_ operatives is impressive.” Mary countered. “But you’re right, it is below the target.” 

“Thus, we decided to sneak into Moscow a day early. To assess the staff and security at the KGB headquarters.” Beatrice’s voice was a hoarse whisper. “It was my idea.” 

“Which we all agreed to.” Camila reassured Beatrice, whose guilt was clear. 

“That’s when it began to go south.” Lilith chimed in. “We couldn’t find a way into the city, since the KGB has a bad habit of hiring out their dirty work to Mafiya men. There were roadblocks everywhere.”

“We must have gotten too close to one of them, and were recognised, because there were half a dozen cars following us.” Recalled Camila.

“All things considered, I think we held our own against them decently well. Six powerful vehicles versus our single Trabant wasn’t exactly a fair fight.” Ava reasoned. “But it only takes one to smash into us, as it turns out.” 

“Is that when you were separated?” Mary asked.

“Yes.” Ava looked down. She felt guilty.

“Adriel told us Ava was dead.” Lilith spit, obviously still angry about it. Even at the mention of it, Beatrice felt fresh tears sting her eyes. “It was hopeless, we were injured, and meant to be collateral. He knew we had a second phase of our plan, but he didn’t know what it was.”

“Smart move.” Shannon nodded thoughtfully. “And Ava, where were you?”

“Obviously not dead.” Ava muttered.

“Ava…” Beatrice’s tone was sharp and Ava looked up, meeting Beatrice’s gaze. 

“Sorry.” Ava shook her head and immediately regretted it, since the motion made her feel sick. “I was shooting out the open door when the car hit us. The force of it threw me out into a snowbank, some twenty feet away. It’s actually because of the Mafiya men that I was able to stay hidden, I doubt KGB agents would have been so lazy.” 

“They just left without you?” Mary was surprised.

“They lit the car on fire and promised each other to tell Adriel that I had died.” Ava sighed deeply. “Maybe I should have tried to fight them all right then, but I was outnumbered. I’m sorry everyone.” 

“Ava, with all due respect…” Camila’s grin crept across her face. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Alright, alright.” Ava couldn’t help but return Camila’s smile. “I managed to save our bag of tricks from the car before it blew up. Barely. Then, I walked about a mile down the road to find one of the abandoned Mafiya vehicles. Beatrice killed the driver during the chase. Nice shot, by the way.” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded, but her expression was unreadable. She, like everyone else, was hearing the full story for the first time. 

“So I drove that into the city, since the roadblocks were gone now that we were caught, I guess.” Ava shrugged, though the movement was slightly awkward with one arm in a cast. “That’s when I called Mary. I had a quick cry in the car, because my brain wasn’t working right and I couldn’t remember the number and there was so much -”

“Ava.” Mary put a hand on her shoulder and interrupted Ava’s rambling. “It’s okay. Really. We’re all safe, we’re all okay.” 

“Sorry. I know. Sorry.” Ava wiped the tears from her eyes. “Anyway, you told me to stay put and not engage. But I didn’t do that.” 

“Clearly.” Lilith mumbled, though she gave Ava a rare, encouraging smile. 

“So I splinted my arm the best I could, tied the bag of weapons to my back, and climbed up a nearby fire escape.” 

“Should I be listening to this?” Mary joked. “There’s already been a dozen protocol violations.” 

“It feels like our entire lives lately have been protocol violations.” Shannon countered, and she wasn’t wrong.

“Fair point.” Mary conceded.

“Once I was on the roof, I had a good view of the snipers. There were four of them.” Ava closed her eyes for a second, still able to clearly picture the scene in her mind’s eye. “I am not _nearly_ as good of a shot as Lilith. Especially not after shivering up there for an hour waiting for the shift to change. I almost dislocated my shoulder on the first shot.” 

“I don’t think anyone could replicate that beautiful shot she did in Smolensk.” Camila added, with a wink in Lilith’s direction.

“Oh, no.” Ava smiled for a moment. “That was a thing of beauty. Anyway, details aren’t important, but the snipers ended up dead and I ended up on the roof. The building was surprisingly empty when I got inside, suspiciously so.” 

“Why?” Beatrice finally found her voice again. Even in past tense, this story and Ava’s involvement made her more nervous than she cared to admit. 

“I’m not entirely sure.” With a sharp sigh, Ava continued. “There were bombs at critical junctions. I think, though they aren’t alive to ask, that Adriel and Vincent were planning on luring the second team to the building, only to blow it up with everyone inside. Just in case, I pulled the receiver from every explosive I could find.”

“Shit.” The magnitude of Ava’s actions was even greater than Mary had thought.

“It’s a historically accurate strategy, if nothing else.” Camila added, with a faraway look in her eyes. 

“Does someone want to explain that?” Mary asked.

“Historically, Russian forces have never hesitated to burn down their own buildings if it means damning the enemy too.” Beatrice explained. “From the Tsardom, to the Napoleonic Wars, to the Great War, to World War Two, Russia has always employed a scorched earth policy.” 

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Beatrice, I really think you’d be a great analyst.” Shannon told her.

“After the last few missions, some time behind a desk sounds a lot nicer than it used to.” Beatrice joked in reply, but to Ava, it sounded hollow.

“Ava, what happened next?” Camila wondered, rapt with the details of Ava’s infiltration.

“I made it to the basement, where you all were being held. Adriel was in one of the offices, yelling into the phone about how the KGB needed to stop hiring out work to the Mafiya. Which is fair, truly. Just as I was about to creep out, Vincent came up behind me, seemingly from nowhere.” 

“Vincent…” Lilith growled. “What a disgrace to the MI6.” 

“Agreed.” Shannon nodded.

“It was sort of a ‘gun to the head moment.’ As in, he had a gun to my head.” Ava tried to make light of the situation, but Beatrice still held her breath. “I managed to stab him, but when he dropped his gun, Adriel heard the noise. He rushed into the hall, flanked by the two guards who had been keeping watch.”

“The two guards right outside where they were holding us?” Camila wondered aloud.

“Yes.” Ava voiced her agreement. “I held Vincent in front of me since he wasn’t dead yet. I didn’t think Adriel would shoot him.” 

“That’s insane, even for Adriel.” Lilith commented venomously.

“I only got one shot off, but it caught Adriel in the stomach. Then the guards chased me around the corner, but I had the faster gun hand.” 

“Thank _God_ for that.” Beatrice whispered under her breath.

“And that about catches us up.” Ava concluded heavily. “I shot Adriel on my way in and a few minutes later, the strike team showed up. And we all lived happily ever after.” 

“Except for the part where we’re all critically injured and stuck in a military installation somewhere in Finland.” Added Lilith with a grimace.

“Well, yeah. Except for that.” Ava conceded.

“We’re not stuck here.” Mary replied, somewhat distracted as her thoughts were still fixated on Ava’s story. “There’s a plane coming in a few hours. We’ll be back to London in time for dinner.” 

“Really?” Ava’s eyes grew wide at the thought of spending the night curled up next to Beatrice.

“Really.” Mary smiled. “Plus I need to get started on your transfer paperwork.”

“Wait, _what?!_ ” Ava nearly jumped from the bed. “How do you know about that? Beatrice!? Do you care to explain yourself?” 

“Umm…” An uncharacteristic mumble escaped Beatrice’s lips before she replied. “You fell asleep on the helicopter. Long story short, everyone is transferring to MI6.”

“Wow.” Ava leaned back against her headrest, eyes closed. “It’s all coming together.”

And it did, indeed, come together. As promised, the six of them touched back down in London that evening. With a few rounds of teary hugs, they departed in separate directions, to different neighborhoods. Of course, Ava went with Beatrice, to the flat that Ava was only supposed to stay at for a few nights while the Paris document was being translated. Funny how things change. 

“You’re a hero, Ava.” Beatrice whispered that night, when the two of them were alone in the warm bed. 

“No, I’m not.” Ava replied from within Beatrice’s warm arms. “I felt like I was going insane. You were in danger, my friends were in danger. I kept thinking about the ‘recommended for termination’ notes on our files. It made me sick to think you might already be dead.” 

“Trust me when I say I can empathise.” 

“ _God._ I’m so sorry, Beatrice.” Ava pulled herself more tightly into Beatrice’s embrace. “Despite what everyone says, I still regret not trying to fight after the car crash. Maybe I could have -”

“Don’t do this.” Beatrice interrupted with a surprisingly harsh tone. “You’ll make yourself crazy if you play the what-if’s of every fight. I know that you know that.” 

“You make me crazy.” 

“Ava…”

“I wasn’t trying to be a hero, or live out some weird James Bond fantasy.” Ava concluded. “All I wanted was to ensure the safety of my friends and the woman whom I love.” 

“I love you, too.” Beatrice breathed, sealing the sentiment with a slow kiss.

“Do you remember that time where I told you I was going to follow you back to London to ensure the CIA got the data?” Ava asked quietly once they broke apart.

“Yes, of course I do.” 

“I’m happy I did.” 

“Me too.” Beatrice agreed with a smile. 

They were both calmly asleep within a few minutes, thoroughly exhausted after their mission. Or perhaps after a series of tiring and stressful missions. For once, neither woman was burdened by nightmares, nor terrified of oncoming threats. Even more shocking, both Ava and Beatrice were looking forward to spending some time in the office.


	30. Now That the Dust Has Settled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All's well that ends well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story began with ava alone, operating the only way she knew how, while Beatrice does the same. this story ends with beatrice alone at first, though she is no longer as good at being alone as she once was. of course, like all good stories, we conclude on ava and bea together. balanced, as all things should be. 
> 
> if you're still here, after 30 chapters and 100k words, thanks for coming along for the ride. i started this without an outline and had no idea where the story was going to go. anyways, you're all amazing, especially annette :)

_ Two Months Later: _

Beatrice woke up alone. And she was cold, especially without Ava to keep her warm. Quickly, she turned off her alarm clock and slid out of bed. Her kettle was on the stove only a minute later, with her tea in hand a few minutes after that. Steam curled from the mug as Beatrice stood by the window, looking out at the grey city below. The world was only a few weeks into 1968, but it was already shaping up to be as tumultuous a year as the last. 

Oddly enough, the thought made Beatrice smile. She caught her reflection in the window, scarred from all that had happened, but  _ happy.  _ No matter what the next year, or years, held, Beatrice knew she could handle it. When she was younger, she used to think that her solitude made her strong. Now, Beatrice realised that her friends and their teamwork made everyone stronger. It was a powerful feeling, but one that made her immensely grateful.

With a content sigh, Beatrice finished her tea and retreated to her bedroom. It felt empty without Ava, but Beatrice tried to push the feeling from her mind. Instead, she picked out an outfit for work - her usual mix of men’s and women’s clothing. As always, her clothes were perfectly pressed, without a single wrinkle or seam out of place. Before leaving, Beatrice strapped a holster beneath her jacket, sliding her handgun into it with practiced ease.

After an uneventful journey to the MI6 headquarters, Beatrice found herself in Shannon’s office. Mary was there too, helping rebuild the agency from scratch.

“Here’s the new recruitment parameters.” Mary announced, setting a heavy stack of papers on Shannon’s desk. “I figured, if we have to rebuild everything, we might as well fix some of the things that were broken.” 

“Agreed.” Shannon nodded. She was settling into her new role well and everyone was confident she’d make a great leader. Not that her predecessor, Vincent, had left behind a great legacy, though.

“Speaking of which…” Beatrice began, slightly nervous despite herself. “I think we should redesign the training program for new recruits. Sure, the current system makes good agents; agents who fight well, at least. But it’s traumatising at best and taught without nuance or compassion.” 

“It’s funny you say that, actually.” From within her desk, Shannon pulled out a thick folder. 

“Oh?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Well, it’s meant to be -” Shannon was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Come in.” A moment later, Lilith and Camila entered the spacious office. 

“Wait, Camila what are you doing here?” Beatrice asked, clearly confused. She and Ava were meant to be in the U.S. right now, retrieving their belongings and settling their personal affairs across the pond.

“What are you talking about?” Camila was just as confused as Beatrice was.

“Ava said you two weren’t getting back until tonight.” Beatrice whispered. As much as she tried not to, a familiar worry spread through Beatrice’s chest. After everything she’d been through with Ava, though, this wasn’t altogether unsurprising. 

“Yeah… Um…” Camila rubbed the back of her head in awkwardness. “Ava told me to stay hidden, but I couldn’t because I have work to do.” 

“Which we all appreciate.” Mary muttered with a knowing grin.

“So where’s Ava, then?” Given Camila’s reply, Beatrice found herself slightly less concerned. Slightly.

“She told me to tell you, and I quote: ‘Tell Beatrice not to worry, but I am going on a secret mission. Real high level stuff.’” Camila recalled from their conversation the day prior.

“ _ Christ,  _ even without an actual mission, she’s a handful.” Mary laughed. “Hopefully that sets your mind at ease, Beatrice, because we’ve got another busy day ahead of us. As usual.”

“It does.” Beatrice nodded mechanically, though her thoughts were racing through possibilities. 

“As I was saying…” Shannon began again. “I want you and Ava to design the new training modules.” 

“I think…” Beatrice paused to take a deep breath. “That’s a great idea. I’m sure Ava will be enthusiastic as well, when she returns from her  _ secret mission. _ ”

“That’s the plan.” Mary smiled. “Though I’d also like to see both you and Camila working on revamping the analysis department. It wasn’t as ravaged as our upper level leadership or our team of agents - but it’s not thriving, either.” 

“No, it’s definitely not.” Lilith corroborated, while looking at the report in her hand. Since the insurrection, she was directly overseeing all the new hiring processes, to doubly ensure that there were no compromised individuals joining MI6. “But to be fair, the last few months have been absolute insane as far as intelligence communities go.” 

“I think the last few months have been insane regardless.” Camila mumbled. “The world seems to be constantly on the brink.” 

“And that still seems like an understatement.” Shannon sighed, looking over at the massive pile of newspapers on the corner of her desk. 

“Hey.” Mary put a firm hand on Shannon’s shoulder. “You’ve got a great team by your side and we’re doing good work every day. It’s going to be okay.” 

“You’re right.” A rare grin spread across Shannon’s face. “Alright, you heard the woman. Let’s get to doing our  _ good work. _ ”

That evening found Beatrice curled up on the couch, tired after a long day at the office. A productive and inspiring day, but still tiring. She had a cup of tea in hand and was listening to the evening news on the radio, when she heard a key slip into the door. Before Ava could let herself in, Beatrice had crossed the room and thrown the door open.

“You have some explaining to do.” Beatrice announced in frustration, though the shocked look on Ava’s face was both adorable and cute. Most of Beatrice’s frustration fizzled out on sight.

“I know, I know.” Ava laughed as she carried her bag into the room. Her arm was still in a cast but her other injuries, and everyone else’s, were fully headed. Finally. 

“Where were you?”

“So Camila didn’t keep hidden, huh?” Ava wore a crooked grin as she pressed a kiss to Beatrice’s flushed cheek.

“No.” 

“Okay, okay.” Ava stood by the radio for a moment, twisting the dial until the classical music station came through. “Dance with me?” 

Beatrice stood still, for a moment, though eventually she took Ava’s outstretched hand. Slowly, they circled the living room floor, pressed together and smiling.

“You know, when you told me you were a great dancer, I thought you meant dancing to music that was a little more… Modern. And, you know, fun.” Beatrice whispered, slightly overwhelmed with Ava’s proximity and warmth. Sure, they’d spent less than a fortnight apart, but it felt like an eternity. 

“I’m not actually a good dancer.” Ava admitted quietly. “I was just… Hmm, what’s the word? Being flirty with you.” 

“You  _ scoundrel. _ ” Beatrice joked with a soft laugh. She’d changed so much since meeting Ava, sometimes in these gentle moments, Beatrice didn’t even remember the hard, closed off woman that she used to be. 

“I’m sorry I lied to you.” Ava apologised, growing suddenly more serious, as one classical song stretched into another. The somber timbre of violins filled the air around them, dramatically on theme. “If you were worried, I am doubly sorry.” 

“Of course I was worried!” Beatrice snapped. “After everything we’ve been through, plus… Well, it’s unlikely, but there could still be operatives after us.” 

“I’d be disappointed if there wasn’t.” Ava muttered in jest, though it fell flat. “Sorry.” She apologised again. “There were some things I needed to check on.” 

“Which were?” Beatrice wondered as Ava spun beneath her outstretched arm. 

“Promise you won’t be mad?” 

“I hate when you give me a preamble like that.” 

“Okay, okay.” Ava stopped dancing for a moment and reached inside her bag. She withdrew a folder, stuffed thickly with papers. 

“What is this?” Beatrice asked, reverent as Ava set the folder in her hands. 

“I came in on the same flight as Camila. We got in last night. But I caught a second flight to Norwich.”

“Why?” Beatrice had an inkling suspicion, but she wanted Ava to explain. 

“I was doing some research.” Ava continued to be vague. But, with a frustrated look from Beatrice, she finally capitulated. “I was looking at available farmland…”

“Oh.” Even though Beatrice had suspected Ava’s answer, she still found herself surprised. Rendered silent for a moment, she sat down on the couch to look through the files, as the music continued to swell around them. 

Tears formed in Beatrice’s eyes, obscuring the words on the page as she tried to read. For a moment, she wondered if her heart was a violin, and Ava was the bow that expertly played the strings. With a far away grin, she shook the thought from her head. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Ava mumbled, sitting beside Beatrice. “I just wanted to show you that I was serious. About this. About us. I know we can’t go right away, since there is so much work to be done, but -”

“It’s beautiful, Ava.” Beatrice breathed as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re beautiful and your intentions are beautiful.” 

“So you’re not angry, then?”

“Not in the slightest.” 

“I’m happy to hear that.” Murmured Ava while resting her head on Beatrice’s shoulder, as the two of them looked over the various properties.

After an hour of reading, and talking about their plethora of ideas, Beatrice couldn’t help but tell Ava about work. “Shannon has a new project that she wants the both of us to collaborate on.” 

“Do tell.” Ava whispered tiredly. 

“She wants us to completely redesign the agent training process.” 

“What?” Ava sat bolt upright and any trace of tiredness left her face in an instant.

“I think it’s a perfect assignment for you.” 

“For  _ us. _ ” Ava corrected. She rose from the couch, suddenly energised and pacing the room. “I already have a million thoughts. But…” 

“But what?” 

“Do you think it’s possible to train good operatives without the inherently traumatising parts of the training? As in, maybe they are necessary?” Even positing the question made Ava feel slightly ill.

“Do you think it made you a good agent?” Beatrice answered Ava’s question with another question.

“I…” Ava paused to look out the window. “I don’t even know if I’m a good agent.” 

“Are you joking?” 

“No?” 

“Ava, you were awarded a  _ Victoria Cross _ !” Beatrice’s voice rose in volume. 

“So were you!” Ava countered, though it wasn’t much of an argument. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m not sure if I am good or just really lucky.” 

“I think… No, I know that you’re both  _ great  _ and lucky.” Beatrice decided.

“In more ways than one.” Added Ava with a smile in Beatrice’s direction.

“Be serious for a moment, please.” Beatrice replied, though her cheeks grew red under the weight of Ava’s words. 

“I’m trying. You’re distracting. I missed you a lot.” Ava sighed and returned to her seat beside Beatrice. “I know I wasn’t gone that long but I thought of you constantly.” 

“Me too.” Beatrice placed a gentle kiss on Ava’s forehead. “It felt colder here, without you.” 

“And I don’t sleep as well, without you.” Ava admitted. “Not that my sleeping is fantastic with you, of course, but it’s certainly better.” 

“I understand.” Beatrice wrapped Ava in her arms. She felt the same. 

“I thought I’d miss the thrill of the mission.” Ava mumbled. “But even after two months, I still just find myself savouring our relatively calm time together.” 

“I know what you mean.” Beatrice breathed, while Ava pressed gentle kisses down her neck. “But that’s not all that’s changed.” 

“You’re right.” Ava met Beatrice’s intense gaze. “You’re way more fun now.” A soft smile spread across her face. 

“Maybe fun’s not the right word…”

“What do you mean?” 

“I used to be so resigned to my solitude. So much so that I’d almost convinced myself that I was content with it.” Beatrice closed her eyes and tried to focus, but Ava was making it increasingly hard. “But you make me happy, Ava. Truly happy. And now I know I could never go back to that.” 

“You don’t have to.” Ava grew serious, for the moment at least. “I’m here to stay.” 

“I know.” Now it was Beatrice’s turn to be distracting, though she continued a minute later. “And I’m beyond lucky to have you.” 

“I feel the same.” Ava replied. “And after everything we’ve been through, I’m sure we can face anything together.” 

“I love you, Ava.” Beatrice breathed, as fresh, happy tears dampened her shirt. “No matter what the world throws at us next.” 

“And I love you, Beatrice.” Ava whispered. “No matter what.”


End file.
